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We're all just doing our best for our [Kids]

lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correctMove to New ZealandRegistered User regular
edited September 10 in Singularity Engine++
Welcome back!

I had intended in the key thread to make it useful with all kinds of fun things in the OP.

And as with most things parenting related, that fell to the side of reality.

So much more basic this time around.

Talk about your kids. Talk about being a parent. Celebrate milestones, curse at leaps. Vent about the challenges, vent about the In-laws.

Nobody has the one right answer to solve the question of how to parent. We're all of us making it up as we go. Support each other, offer advice, laugh and cry together.

It takes a village to raise a child. Nobody said the village had to be small or local.
Banzai5150 wrote: »
So I had a few minutes on my computer before I had to play "tea party". I started up a google sheets doc that anyone can edit. I scraped a few pages of suggestions and just copy/pasted them in for now. Plan is to have a Book Name, Author, Age and maybe a Link to where to buy. Feel free to add/change anything as I wanted this to be a sort of living document for everyone to use.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-bVtZsS2PnENXpm_LzENDW5k9nGdzO-ZuXkMiXMdJZU/edit?usp=sharing

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  • mageormikemageormike Registered User regular
    So, our son is 7 months old and has just started his late sleep regression. We discovered this when he woke up around midnight and instead of eating and going right back to bed, he stayed up for the next 3 hours. He had just started eating baby cereal the night before too, talk about a discouraging two-steps-forward-one-step-back.

  • FishmanFishman Mahna Mahna Registered User regular
    Javi (or possibly a distracted parent) has contrived to misplace his favourite fall-asleep fluffy elephant soother sometime yesterday.

    Last night's bedtime was... less than smooth.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie really is just the sweetest kid.

    every morning now she wakes up and asks for peanut butter honey toast for breakfast. And she INSISTS that daddy make a piece for her, a piece for daddy, and a piece for mommy.

    When we're sitting down for dinner and eating all together, if she sees that Daddy or Mommy has finished their dinner before she has, she will INSIST that the parent is still hungry and they must have more food. She will even feed Daddy herself, from her own bowl, if she feels he needs the nutrition.

    She's kissing boo boos better and saying Sorry.




    But her teacher mentioned that she seemed to have a hard time with transitions and changes and sometimes got herself really worked up and anxious about things and suggested maybe trying some extra magnesium with her multivitamin at night. And now I'm slowly stressing about whether I've past along my anxiety issues to her? But then I remember that she's not even 2.5 yet and everything is ok. She's not the 3 or 4 years old that she seems to behave like. She's still only 2 and of course transitions are going to be hard. Just because she can reason and talk to me about things doesn't mean that she's emotionally ready for those things to be happening.


    It's tough to remember that.

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Someday we'll get Niko to stop drinking bath water.

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  • mosssnackmosssnack Yeah right, man, Bishop should go! Good idea!Registered User regular
    Holy shit yeah, my 4yo will not stop drinking the bath water.

    Dang little dude, are you thirsty? Here’s a cup of good water.

    Nope, continues to gulp that nasty grey water despite all pleas, begs, threats, and promises.

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    He also tried to drink paint water the other day too!

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited July 17
    I've been a Dad for a pretty long time. I've been through the Toddler Rodeo several times, and was pretty sure I'd seen everything. I walk downstairs, and my 2 year old is sitting on his mom's lap, happy as a clam. It looks like theres the shadow of a bruise poking out from under his hairline. Wife says he took a tumble off the sofa and has a little bruise.

    Now, I'm no stranger to kids hitting their head on every available surface. I spent some serious time considering just putting my middle kid in a helmet when he was a toddler. I've seen just about every bump, bruise, cut, and scrape you can imagine. Kids are clumsy, shit happens.


    So he turns and says 'Hi, dada!'

    And I go 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'

    And my wife goes, 'Omg what?!'

    And I point and go, 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'

    And she looks and goes, 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'

    In the minutes between her looking at it and me coming downstairs, the little bruise has turned into an angry purple mass at least the size of a golf ball. Standing straight out from the side of his forehead. Like, this shit looked like he cracked a hole in his skull and his brain was about to explode from it.

    I go, 'AAAAAAAAAAAAA' some more and start throwing shit in a bag to go to the ER.

    Thats around the time that I learned that this kind of thing happens. A lot. And isn't really a big deal. I'd just never seen a proper goose egg on a toddler before.

    Knob on
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  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    We really need the “sarcastic awesome “ button

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Yeah one time Niko bashed his head against the table and had a big ol' lump for a while afterward

    It's weird that a giant ugly lump is a good sign but our bodies are weird and stupid things.

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Someday we'll get Niko to stop drinking bath water.

    Yesterday I learned Evie can drink (messily) from a cup by herself because she starting using a little toy bucket to drink from an outdoor baby pool... She didn’t want any of the offered clean water, had to be that!

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  • FishmanFishman Mahna Mahna Registered User regular
    Fishman wrote: »
    Javi (or possibly a distracted parent) has contrived to misplace his favourite fall-asleep fluffy elephant soother sometime yesterday.

    Last night's bedtime was... less than smooth.

    Fluffy Elephant has been found!

    It was defying gravity by being precariously balanced in a small gap below the TV, held weirdly aloft by a cabinet leg and an open flap of a cardboard box.

    It must have fallen and been lodged there while he was near the TV, because it's such a freak position I'm not sure anyone could intentionally put it there if they tried.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 18

    Talk about your kids. Talk about being a parent. Celebrate milestones, curse at leaps. Vent about the challenges, vent about the In-laws.

    Ah, okay I'm good. Let's talk about my mother-in-law.

    Having her here for the last 3 weeks has been a blessing and a curse. On one hand, she takes our 2.5-year old off our hands for 2-4 hours at a time allowing us to sleep or go out. But then she does bat-shit insane things.

    She got my wife's car into a fender bender on day 2 of being here. She claims someone hit her back bumper while she was shopping and drove away without witness. Personally I think she backed into something, but whatever. It's cosmetic damage.

    What bothers me is that she didn't call me immediately. She waited 2-3 hours to get home first, and then waited another hour to bring it up. Ugh...

    But again, she's here and watches Abigail which helps me so much in the mornings. So I overlook a lot of the silly drama and non-stop questions that comes with her being around.

    BUT THEN TODAY HAPPENED!

    I dropped her and Abigail off at a town center which has an in-door playground. They play for a while, then usually walk around the area looking at stores, playing with stuff, and so forth. Today she's telling me that she took Abigail to these small fountains kids can play in. The types that shoot small streams of water they can run through.

    OK, cool. Sounds like fun. I'll bring a spare set of dry clothes. Her story continues telling me that Abigail got jealous of these kids having a drinking cup to store and pour water. So grandma went over to the nearby Starbucks to get a cup. But they wouldn't give her one without buying something, so she got a coffee. She then goes back out and gives Abigail the cup. Oh she was so happy!

    I paused and interrupted her.

    "Wait, do you mean that you left her in the fountain area and went into the Starbucks alone?"
    "Yes, but I could see her from the Starbucks."
    "YOU CAN'T LEAVE HER ALONE LIKE THAT! JESUS CHRIST!"
    "But she was crying for a cup."
    "THEN BRING HER WITH YOU!"
    "Oh, I will do that next time."

    I know that area and you can see maybe 1/3 of the fountain area from Starbucks. I was absolutely fucking livid and had to restrain myself SO HARD in order not to snap on her.

    YOU DON'T LEAVE A 2-YEAR OLD ALONE FOR ANY REASON! They are fucking fast. She's already outran grandma going to the mailbox. She could have easily have ran off and you'd have never found her. Or maybe some piece of shit could have stolen her.

    THIS IS BASIC FUCKING KNOWLEDGE!

    Like, I know grandma got the coffee and Abigail just kept playing in the water. BUT MAN, THAT ISN'T SOMETHING YOU FUCK AROUND WITH!

    Clearly it's still bothering me and I need to exhale. She got the message loud and clear, but now I'm doubly worried about letting her take Abigail anywhere. Things that should be obvious just aren't clicking with her.

    Ugh....the stress is real ya'll.

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Ah lovely

    as soon as I get home my dad drops the bomb on me that he's not sure how much longer he and my mom can look after the kids and we need to find a solution

    this is wonderful news, just great

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Ah lovely

    as soon as I get home my dad drops the bomb on me that he's not sure how much longer he and my mom can look after the kids and we need to find a solution

    this is wonderful news, just great

    If there’s anything we can do to help, please let me know.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    He also tried to drink paint water the other day too!

    He did worse than that, your mom filled a bucket with old garden water to wash them down with after they had been painting and he got in it and drank from that.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited July 18
    Don’t forget that your dad accused us of treating them like servants :)

    Janson on
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  • ElbasunuElbasunu Registered User regular
    My son has a divot in the middle of his forehead since he was one. Ran head first into the corner of a table. then two days later he fell onto the corner of a bookcase. it looked AWFUL. Drs. said he was fine, it just looked bad.

    But i really think it did permanent damage to that spot :( Plus sometimes he says his head hurts after he has a tantrum, and I know it's just him being dramatic (and cry-tired) but I get that...that little worry.

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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Whoever created the gummy bear song should be tried in the hague.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    So @Moriveth ‘s parents have informed us that:
    - no daycare, they do not trust daycares
    - likewise they do not trust cheap nannies
    - they only need ‘a few days off here and there’ but it has to be the same nanny each random day
    - they don’t wish Mori quitting his job either (cheaper for us than a private nanny!)

    Basically impossible constraints :P

    They also accused us of ‘lack of communication’ and ‘we had no idea you were planning on moving out in January’ even though I explicitly remember telling them that.

    sig.jpg
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    So @Moriveth ‘s parents have informed us that:
    - no daycare, they do not trust daycares
    - likewise they do not trust cheap nannies
    - they only need ‘a few days off here and there’ but it has to be the same nanny each random day
    - they don’t wish Mori quitting his job either (cheaper for us than a private nanny!)

    Basically impossible constraints :P

    They also accused us of ‘lack of communication’ and ‘we had no idea you were planning on moving out in January’ even though I explicitly remember telling them that.

    "I'll hire a nanny just as soon as you give us back all the rent money we paid in the last house" - but then, I'm an asshole.

  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Childcare costs are a test, right? I just have to solve an archaic puzzle or sacrifice a goat and they’ll tell me the actual price, right?

    Please?

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Hah @MNC Dover I put that clause in there just for you and Janson.



    they don't trust daycares.
    but you can't have a random sitter.
    But they don't... But you can't. But

    Janson, I hope for your sake, and I know that this is not really a feasible thing at the moment, but I really really wish that when you and Mori do get a place of your own, you could fling your fingers so high into the air and just scream.

    That is downright unreasonable.

    Unless they're going to help you financially with this whole private nanny business, then bugger that.

    Gods I hope you guys can get out of there soon.

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  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    AARGH C has tonsilitus. Fuck. Today was meant to be a day for grieving, yesterday we said goodbye to my wife's best friend. Her parents were going to be watching the kids today, and we'd just have a quiet day.

    Sigh. Just never plan anything when you have kids.

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  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    Every variety of kids paracetamol tastes like GARBAGE. My kids hate them.

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    plufim wrote: »
    Every variety of kids paracetamol tastes like GARBAGE. My kids hate them.

    Can you get children's paracetamol tablets? If they can't swallow them (likely not, because god-damned tonsilitis), you can crush the tablet and stir it into a tablespoon of jam, peanut butter, or yoghurt. It's not gonna taste great, but it'll go down a lot easier than the liquid children's paracetamol painkillers tend to.

    Elvenshae
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Registered User regular
    She looks like a supervillan, but in reality she is showing off first time ever painted nails.
    37251623_10212725708201457_1116114407974240256_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=a9db18de01eec96ca1cc26dc43603ab2&oe=5BDC07DC

    She took to her scooter from her birthday on Saturday like fish in water even asks for help putting on her helmet everytime. Hoping momma can take her to the park to play with it in more open space.

    Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol' internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it's real easy, man.
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    you tried the stealth attack - shaking it up in a bottle of milk?

    beatrix was in the hospital with Mystery Fever twice on the weekend and got prescribed (orange flavour!) penicillin. apparently it still tastes like hundred year old mould because she hates it. the milk manoeuvre works, but man. she does not want that stuff.

    UJw4Qla.png
  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    Tried milk but the antibiotics are tutti tutti flavour so it sticks out. He's 5, but if it's medicine he reverts to a damn toddler. Fuck.

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I don't have any kids but I do have a nephew and I'm currently staying with him and his parents for a while, and he is awesome. Very happy baby (1 year 8 months atm). He likes books and swings and watching youtube videos about tigers.

    He was shy of me when I first moved in as we'd only seen each other once in his life before, but now he knows me and comes to me for cuddles. I picked him up from nursery for the first time yesterday, and apparently he asks where I am when he's out with his parents. He is awesome. Did I say that already?

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  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    edited July 18
    Holy shit Mallory has suddenly become such a freaking brat. She turns 3 in less than a month and lordy lordy lordy the threenager phase has come screeching in. She won't listen anymore, and when we threaten her with punishment for not listening and then follow through she screeches at the top of her lungs and won't stop.

    And God help you if you don't give her exactly what she wants right this second.

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  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    I have resorted to bribery. He gets a hot wheels car if he takes his antibiotics.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    The baby has now maximized his efficiency so that he is falling asleep just as I'm handing him off to his mom for night shift, and sleeps super soundly after that feeding until he hears his mom get up to shower and leave in the morning... to the point where he's doing the "*excuse me*, you're not meeting my *needs*" cough before the bathroom door has even fully shut

    I know my wife keeps telling me babies this age can't manipulate and to just be patient, but it sure feels like bullshit after a month plus of this nonsense

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  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    I tells ya, this girl is super lucky she's so cute

    jw9pheDl.jpg rIbFL8Rl.jpg

    This one, too. Since he learned how to run, he doesn't stop, won't sit still, and as soon as you let go of his hand he runs off.

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  • a5ehrena5ehren AtlantaRegistered User regular
    edited July 18
    Janson wrote: »
    So @Moriveth ‘s parents have informed us that:
    - no daycare, they do not trust daycares
    - likewise they do not trust cheap nannies
    - they only need ‘a few days off here and there’ but it has to be the same nanny each random day
    - they don’t wish Mori quitting his job either (cheaper for us than a private nanny!)

    Basically impossible constraints :P

    They also accused us of ‘lack of communication’ and ‘we had no idea you were planning on moving out in January’ even though I explicitly remember telling them that.

    If they're not paying for it, tell them to kiss your ass and do whatever works for you. After you move out, anyway :P

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    plufim wrote: »
    I have resorted to bribery. He gets a hot wheels car if he takes his antibiotics.

    ... and if he stops taking them, then the car gets taken away until takes them again like a big boy.

    That's generally worked before in my house for getting rid of bad habits (e.g., fingernail chewing).

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular


    Just me and Athena til ma gets home later

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    So @Moriveth ‘s parents have informed us that:
    - no daycare, they do not trust daycares
    - likewise they do not trust cheap nannies
    - they only need ‘a few days off here and there’ but it has to be the same nanny each random day
    - they don’t wish Mori quitting his job either (cheaper for us than a private nanny!)

    Basically impossible constraints :P

    They also accused us of ‘lack of communication’ and ‘we had no idea you were planning on moving out in January’ even though I explicitly remember telling them that.

    ... They do realize it doesn't matter if they trust daycares or not. I know they don't actually realize this, but...
    Ugh. That is so frustrating. For the summer, could you convince them that camp, at least, is ok? I don't know your area, but many near me offer a couple day a week stuff and aren't more expensive than the daycares.
    Would a mother's helper be of use for them? Around here, kids 8-16 will be very cheap helpers that play with the kids while you're technically still there ( like for work at home situations, or if you want to do laundry/ clean house)
    Childcare is just the worst sometimes.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    I read "mother's helper" there and thought you were suggesting drugging Mori's parents out on Valium for compliance purposes until December, and was halfway to considering the merits of such a plan before I realized that wasn't what you were referring to

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    plufim wrote: »
    Every variety of kids paracetamol tastes like GARBAGE. My kids hate them.

    I'm sure I said this in the last thread, but candy bribery helps us with getting our youngest to take meds.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »


    Just me and Athena til ma gets home later

    Scrunchy-face sleeping baby pics are, like, my favorite thing ever.

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