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We're all just doing our best for our [Kids]

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 18
    I woke up to crying from Abigail’s room. There was poopy diarrhea everywhere. Great.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Yuck.

    Sorry, mate. :bro:

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    @plufim I hope your kid feels better soon!

    @“MNC Dover” Oh noooo, that’s the worst, I’m sorry.

    @lonelyahava thank you for the inlaw clause ;) I really hope we can escape soon, too!

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    My teenage son has his first girlfriend. They are both gigantic weebs and refer to themselves with japanese honorifics, and do undertale roleplay. He hogs the netflix account all day watching anime, and when I tell him to get the hell off so I can watch something, I get the moody teenager eye roll and, 'MAYBE IF YOU BOUGHT ME A CRUNCHYROLL ACCOUNT I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE ON YOUR NETFLIX, DAD'

    Also yesterday he told me he hates rap music.

    I was gonna be the cool dad who understood his teenage son. I failed.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Fathers aren't meant to be cool to kids between certain ages of their child's life. My dad was cool from birth till 13, and then became cool again when I was 25.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I keep saying my kids are going to be into sports or something. At least at this age I have Niko and his dinosaurs!

    Anya’s reading the third Harry Potter book right now and I’m excited for her. I know HP has its issues but they definitely do engross kids and it’s the first longer book she’s eagerly read (she’s perfectly capable of reading almost anything, and she got halfway through the first Percy Jackson, but I think it was a little too old for her and didn’t interest her enough).

    She says she’d be in Gryffindor but Mori and I both agree she’s a Slytherin.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    I think if they still like you while they're teenagers you're probably doing it the wrong way anyway. I have anecdotal evidence for days on this

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    It's hard to get across to Anya that Slytherins can be decent, especially with how the books portray them.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    It's hard to get across to Anya that Slytherins can be decent, especially with how the books portray them.

    Well looky here Cletus, we got us one of them there Slytherin sympathizers.

    Joking, of course.

    *alerts mods*

    That is one of the things I love about kids, they still have that good is good and bad is bad mentality because life hasn't punched them in the face every day for several years.

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Btw this situation with my parents is extremely fucked because it seems to me our options are:

    1) Niko goes to daycare full-time and my parents don't get any time with the kids. Which in one way seems ideal, given the amount of control they seem to want over them. At the same time I'm still weirdly reticent about taking the nuclear option.

    2) Niko goes to daycare part-time and I work a part-time job so my parents don't have to watch them every day of the week. They'd get long weekends, etc. But there's not many part-time jobs that pay decently, and most of them would be like, retail, which would impact my career path hugely.

    3) I just straight-up quit my job, work nights or weekends, and watch the kids full-time. Which I'm fine with, but again, there aren't really any legal jobs I can think of that allow for night/weekend work.

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Btw this situation with my parents is extremely fucked because it seems to me our options are:

    1) Niko goes to daycare full-time and my parents don't get any time with the kids. Which in one way seems ideal, given the amount of control they seem to want over them. At the same time I'm still weirdly reticent about taking the nuclear option.

    2) Niko goes to daycare part-time and I work a part-time job so my parents don't have to watch them every day of the week. They'd get long weekends, etc. But there's not many part-time jobs that pay decently, and most of them would be like, retail, which would impact my career path hugely.

    3) I just straight-up quit my job, work nights or weekends, and watch the kids full-time. Which I'm fine with, but again, there aren't really any legal jobs I can think of that allow for night/weekend work.

    Are they looking for new budtenders at Janson's place of work?

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    I can't commit to smoking the amount of weed I'd need to in order to be good at that job.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Have your folks given an indicator of how much time they need for a break?

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Have your folks given an indicator of how much time they need for a break?

    No, they've been extremely vague about it. They want a nanny to come by "occasionally so we can take a long weekend" but that's just not how nannies WORK, unless we wanted to take a random one every time. Like, I think the nanny would prefer to be on some kind of schedule. Plus childcare is so damned expensive that paying one for like two days would be more than I make in 2 weeks, thanks to absurd fucking insurance costs.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I can't commit to smoking the amount of weed I'd need to in order to be good at that job.

    This is probably actually true.

    We do occasionally have openings for security guards but I’m not sure how the whole relationship aspect works.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited July 18
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Have your folks given an indicator of how much time they need for a break?

    No, they've been extremely vague about it. They want a nanny to come by "occasionally so we can take a long weekend" but that's just not how nannies WORK, unless we wanted to take a random one every time. Like, I think the nanny would prefer to be on some kind of schedule. Plus childcare is so damned expensive that paying one for like two days would be more than I make in 2 weeks, thanks to absurd fucking insurance costs.

    Yeah, nannies typically like a few days heads up for when they'll be needed. Best bet is a daycare, but most of those also like a set schedule, and are pricey. Sounds like your folks aren't aware of how things work these days.

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Also they 'hate daycares'.

    They really have no clue and it's extremely frustrating. But we may go the daycare route and tell them to stuff it.

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  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    @Janson @Moriveth I have no advice but man your situation sounds really frustrating and you really don't deserve it.

    Nephew is seven weeks old and becoming quite the bonnie baby but pulls some very serious unimpressed faces which are just hilarious on just a tiny thing.

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  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    It's also frustrating for me because while I'm not a super career-minded person, I did go back to school and get my paralegal degree and worked jobs in law offices so I can eventually be a paralegal. If I have to quit to watch the kids, I'll do that because it'd be the best for them, but also it basically torpedoes any professional credibility I may have built up.

    And it's shitty that employment works that way.

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  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    When we shopped for nannies most of them are looking for a set schedule. Not saying a flexible one doesn’t exist but for example ours did our house Mon through Weds and another family on Thur and Friday.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Your kids, your rules. I've had to say that to my folks a few times throughout the years.

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Knob wrote: »
    My teenage son has his first girlfriend. They are both gigantic weebs and refer to themselves with japanese honorifics, and do undertale roleplay. He hogs the netflix account all day watching anime, and when I tell him to get the hell off so I can watch something, I get the moody teenager eye roll and, 'MAYBE IF YOU BOUGHT ME A CRUNCHYROLL ACCOUNT I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE ON YOUR NETFLIX, DAD'

    Also yesterday he told me he hates rap music.

    I was gonna be the cool dad who understood his teenage son. I failed.

    I mean....you know what all that stuff in the first paragraph means, that's a pretty substantial amount of understanding.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    I get not liking today's rap music because it's awful, but I refuse to believe anyone, let alone your teenage son, can hate California Love. Its not possible.

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  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User, Moderator mod
    You could look at websites like care.com or spiltmilknannies.com to find a nanny every once in a while to come by for that long weekend or day off scenario.

    My nanny uses spiltmilknannies.com to pick up other work on a short notice basis. Maybe start with that?

    Since you all are moving out relatively soon (for a certain definition of relatively) I would really hope you don't need to sacrifice your career for these vague "we need a day off but we also get to restrict every aspect of how you cover childcare" desires!

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  • mosssnackmosssnack Yeah right, man, Bishop should go! Good idea!Registered User regular
    Ugh, mori and janson your guys’ situation sounds infuriating. I don’t really have any great advice for ya. I don’t know where in WA you guys are at, but if you guys happen to be in Kitsap county, we have a fantastic babysitter that we use regularly and has been available on super short notice. Not exactly what you’re looking for, but great for setting up a date night and what not

    My wife and I have even entrusted her to put our kiddos to bed before.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I definitely feel this is the issue:

    Mori’s mom feels very protective over the kids and wishes to look after them, but lacks the energy (understandable!)

    To be clear, we never asked her to look after the kids. She volunteered the second I announced my pregnancy with Anya, and she also quit her job to do so *not at our bequest*!

    Mori’s dad, since retiring, has also been helping to look after the kids and he sees how tired Mori’s mom gets. And he is really bad at communicating, so he lets frustrations build up until he explodes (which is what he did last night).

    So Mori’s parents aren’t even on the same page; his dad was saying one thing and his mom was telling me ‘no, that’s not what I meant!’

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  • Medium DaveMedium Dave Registered User regular
    Eye of the Tiger came on the radio this morning on the way to daycare and the toddler asked, "Is that the superhero song?"

    And I couldn't think of any other answer than "Yes."

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    Knob wrote: »
    My teenage son has his first girlfriend. They are both gigantic weebs and refer to themselves with japanese honorifics, and do undertale roleplay. He hogs the netflix account all day watching anime, and when I tell him to get the hell off so I can watch something, I get the moody teenager eye roll and, 'MAYBE IF YOU BOUGHT ME A CRUNCHYROLL ACCOUNT I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE ON YOUR NETFLIX, DAD'

    Also yesterday he told me he hates rap music.

    I was gonna be the cool dad who understood his teenage son. I failed.

    I mean....you know what all that stuff in the first paragraph means, that's a pretty substantial amount of understanding.

    She uses her name-chan and he uses his name-sama

    And I'm extremely pissed off that I'm in a situation where I have to admit that I know enough about it to correct him

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I get not liking today's rap music because it's awful, but I refuse to believe anyone, let alone your teenage son, can hate California Love. Its not possible.

    HOLY FUCK

    When he laid that knowledge on me, I literally, no shit, 100% honest, played California Love and asked 'You seriously don't like that?'

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    And he said no?

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    And he said no?

    He said, 'I guess this particular song is ok'.

  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Obviously as a parent one of your primary responsibilities is to expose your kids to as much Wu-Tang as is possible, how did your lad decide he doesn't want to Protect His Neck anymore?

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    I read that exchange to my wife and she literally looked me in the eyes and asked "what's California Love".

    She's heard that song, damn it!

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Knob wrote: »
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    And he said no?

    He said, 'I guess this particular song is ok'.

    I'm going to have to agree with Bender above me, it's time for him to learn about the Wu. They ain't nothin to fuck with, and he needs to know that.

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    I've been listening to Wu-Tang around him for 13 years. He cannot stand them, and they are one of the cornerstones of his distaste.

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Well shit, at least you have other kids.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited July 18
    Knob wrote: »
    I've been listening to Wu-Tang around him for 13 years. He cannot stand them, and they are one of the cornerstones of his distaste.

    That doesn't even make sense.

    Edit - You try NWA/Public Enemy? They are good at getting people "woke", I think.

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    Oh god

    Oh no

    Having an Undertale obsessed, anime loving, weeb teenager in the house means when I log out of these forums for a little reality time at home, I'M STILL BASICALLY MODERATING THIS FORUM

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    I had to Google "weeb" and now I'm even more confused. I mean, I'd never call Wu-Tang weebs to their faces, but they're weebish in some regards. A little bit I mean.

    What the hell is the origin of weeb anyway? Damn kids and their new terminology.

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  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    Shorthand for weeaboo, a derogatory term for someone who loves anime and japanese culture a bit too much

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