Communication trouble with annoying parents.

Crunchy Crust

To be honest I hate my parents. Starting straightforward....yes. well I have my reasons ---
Let's talk about incidents that lead me to hate them because I don't HATE people for no reason.

• They visit me once in a month for a day. I am a female student and I am provided with a good appartment to stay by them ( I appreciate that a lot ). I am not a adult and I have not moved out. We live at different places because of their work and my education, I can't transfer schools all the time. I have a hectic schedule as a student ( sorry can't disclose much ) and they know that. So they visited me once and they are quite chill people. My father is not at all hesitant to talk about sex with my mother in open public spaces. She doesn't care either. So they visited me and we didn't even had a conversation and these guys were heated so much that they straight went to bed locked the room and did their thing which I literally don't care about. It's their life. I don't care as long as I don't have to clean their mess. They arrived at Saturday night and they were gone by Sunday morning. I clean my appartment every Sunday. ( They don't have to visit me. They can Skype me too if they just want to see my face and if they don't want to talk much). It was a nightmare to clean. Just imagine cleaning your father's ejaculations sticked to floor. It was embarrassing and awkward. It was my first time to see something like that and it belonged to my father. It was disgusting. Uuuhhhhh... I hate this memory of mine.
• Whenever they have a quarrel or anything like a harsh disagreement I have to bear the discomfort too. So this time just my mother visited me and we were not talking much because she was quite angry for some reason. Later, she intentionally started a argument with me and she slapped me on my face for no good reason, she literally imprinted her fingers on my cheek. She didn't even apologized and left. Later on I got a call from my father giving me a lecture about my bad behaviour towards my mother. They just exist to ruin my weekends. He didn't even knew what happened. Everything I said to him was false because his lovely wife is a saint and she never lies. It used to hurt , so I restrained smiling for a while. Those cheek muscles made me a poker face.
• That mother of mine always mentions how she could have divorced my father if she wouldn't have been pregnant with me.
• I don't care what he is professionally but personally he is a annoying ********( insert any abusive word ).
• There are various other incidents but this already looks long.

They also have this annoying son ( my ******* brother of course ). He surely has oedipus complex... Lol. He thinks his mother knows everything and she never lies. That woman knows some black magic.

DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT I SHOULD MAKE MYSELF MORE DISTANT FROM THESE PEOPLE OR AM I OVERTHINKING ABOUT THIS SITUATION , To be honest I am glad that we don't live together otherwise things would have been unbearable.

Xaquin

DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT I SHOULD MAKE MYSELF MORE DISTANT FROM THESE PEOPLE

yes

Enc

Yes.

Probably need to get a job, since getting distant probably will mean no more money train for your college lifestyle.

dispatch.o

Sounds like they're incredibly disrespectful and at least a little abusive. It's not okay to treat others that way. Even if they somehow think they can do what they want because they pay for the apartment, it's not right.

That all being said, I'd let my mom punch me in the face once a week for the rest of my life if it meant she paid my bills and I could get an education.

It doesn't make it right, you should be angry and offended... but even if it's wrong you have the rest of your life to carve your parents out of your existence. Get your education on their dime.

Iruka

This is way outside of the scope of forum advice thread. If you are at school, your campus more than likely has student resources that include therapy. Find a licensed therapist and/or councillor to start to help you navigate your situation.

I want to add, this isn't just advice to deflect the thread from H/A, you are going to need to be clued into the local resources you have available to you. Figuring out how to navigate support systems that can help you out in shitty situations is going to be a real asset if you are going to distance yourself from your only support system. You are doing the right thing by asking for help, but we are an extremely limited resource that cant help you navigate your school or financial services.

Iruka

dispatch.o wrote: »

That all being said, I'd let my mom punch me in the face once a week for the rest of my life if it meant she paid my bills and I could get an education.

It doesn't make it right, you should be angry and offended... but even if it's wrong you have the rest of your life to carve your parents out of your existence. Get your education on their dime.

This is too cavalier, and a terrible piece of advice, and we're not going to perpetuate that abuse, particularly physical abuse, is okay to withstand for monetary support. Don't really care to debate this, and I'm not going to leave this here to have some person who might be in a situation like this and use it as an excuse to not seek help. No one should withstand physical abuse for anything.

Cambiata

Me personally, I don't think you should put up with emotional abuse for any reason, either. Emotional abuse can have much longer lasting scars (and it's clear from your description, OP, that emotional abuse from your parents is rampant, particularly from your mother).

Crunchy Crust

Iruka wrote: »

This is way outside of the scope of forum advice thread. If you are at school, your campus more than likely has student resources that include therapy. Find a licensed therapist and/or councillor to start to help you navigate your situation.

I want to add, this isn't just advice to deflect the thread from H/A, you are going to need to be clued into the local resources you have available to you. Figuring out how to navigate support systems that can help you out in shitty situations is going to be a real asset if you are going to distance yourself from your only support system. You are doing the right thing by asking for help, but we are an extremely limited resource that cant help you navigate your school or financial services.

THANKS I'LL TAKE YOUR ADVICE. I HAVE A SHITTY FAMILY SO WE DON'T TALK MUCH. THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN ONCE IN A MONTH SO I'VE BEEN IGNORING IT BUT LATELY I GET NERVOUS THINKING ABOUT THAT ONE DAY OF MONTH AND I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING OF IT SO I THOUGHT OF WRITING THIS IN THE FORUM.
To be honest I don't think they will deprive me of financial help even if we'll be distant. ( can't disclose the reasons ), I just wanted to have a happy family that's why I was taking some efforts to be close but it turns out they want a daughter who minds her own shit. I am just accepting the fact now that it's not possible anymore. I don't care anymore either.
Anyways, THANKS FOR THE ADVICE EVERYONE IT WAS A GREAT HELP.

ceres

Change the locks.

Fiendishrabbit

My advice.
If someone ever hits you hard enough that it leaves marks (ESPECIALLY if it's someone close to you). Take a picture of the bruise/wound. Save that picture with a short description of "When did it happen", "What happened", "Who Did it" and "When was the photo taken". When/If you've finally had enough and anything is better than the Status Quo, that's when it's useful, but think about the consequences.

If you're worried about other people finding it, save it in a password protected archive (like an encrypted ZIP file).

CelestialBadger

Some of the things you list are abusive (the slap), some are just you being teenage (yes, of course you hate your annoying little brother). Get a therapist to help you figure out what is normal and what is not, and how to proceed.