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Is this too passive-aggressive/inappropriate in context?
Drez
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Does this sound very passive aggressive for something that is only 4 days late? I am in the middle of writing up an email and the below is my proposed beginning. I'm going back and forth internally on whether to bring up the lateness. My concern is that this exchange may come up later in some kind of legal proceeding, if necessary, so I would like his acquiescence that the below was, in fact, our agreement.
Then again, it's only 4 days late and I'd like to avoid exacerbating an already hostile situation. But the relationship between myself and the recipient of the below have deteriorated to the point where I feel I need to be very careful in my communications.
Thoughts?
Then again, it's only 4 days late and I'd like to avoid exacerbating an already hostile situation. But the relationship between myself and the recipient of the below have deteriorated to the point where I feel I need to be very careful in my communications.
As a reminder, the July/August utility payment reimbursements were due on 8/1 per our standing agreement. Attached are the bills in question and your portion is $X with the following breakdown:
Thoughts?
Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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Make sure you have an action you would like them to take and a due date. So below the $ breakdown, it should have something like, "As shown above, $X is due to me via check, etc. by August X.
If things are already hostile, the other party is bound to read into it whatever they want. But as normal communication there's nothing unreasonable in there, and clarity is key
It's "please remit ASAP"
"The July/August utility payment reimbursement was due 8/1; please remit $XYZ as soon as possible. Please find attached an itemized accounting for the total.'
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
The reason I wanted to put the other phrase in there is to have something in writing - not really about reminding him of his agreement. Reimbursing me on the 1st of each month was a verbal agreement, reinforced by his own actions of submitting payment on the 1st each month. Figured it would be useful to have that in writing if he actually agreed in response. But in the end I agree it's too much.
Thanks for giving me something to think about here.
I would put a date in there if you're already worried about involving courts. Just say, "remit payment in full by close of business, August 6th, 2018.
But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
- Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
yea as a reminder implies that you already discussed and they ignored/forgot which is better if trying to document for time
If you want to be "nice" then you can reach out to them via phone or in-person to make sure that they are aware of the issue. But even then, all you really want to do is inform them of their obligations and that they are past the due date. You do not want to engage in a conversation about why they haven't paid you yet. The reasons don't matter. All you're really doing is making it clear that you have ensured they are aware of the situation.
And if for some reason they try to play games by having a conversation with you on the phone where they say "oh I'll give it to you on Friday", then follow up via email with something like, "Per our discussion on the phone I have extended your due date in this case to Friday." Ideally you would have some kind of escalation procedure (e.g., late fees) if payment is not received, and you would be able to outline it in the email, but I'm guessing that you didn't set something like this up given the original agreement is a verbal one.
Again, don't bother engaging with anything except the transaction. If they try to play emotional games then the blanket response is, "I'm sorry [you feel this way/this terrible thing happened/you think I'm an asshole/etc.], but these are the terms that we agreed upon. I ask that you please fulfill your obligations."
P.S. - This is why you always get stuff like this in writing.
This goes back to the old adage of: “Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
As an extreme example of how problematic this behavior can be - getting "offended" and deflecting a very basic matter of personal responsibility into how someone else is "making you feel" about it is a classic sign of larger issues such as low self-esteem and narcissistic personality disorder. At that point you can't solve the problem by changing how you say something to someone. The best thing you for everyone involved is to be clear, polite, and consistent.