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QUILTBAG: Hi gay, I’m Dad!
Posts
Oooh, I'm on Crestor for diabetes! Go Gruumsh!
The best part (to me) about Roller Derby, isn't so much the injuring of others. It's the names a lot of the team members have.
Cherry Bl'awesome
Ruby Bruiseday
Dixie Wrecked
Lord Rolldemort
Steam: TheArcadeBear
I'm a bi/pan dude that hasn't painted his nails in waaaaaaaaay too long!!! >:C gotta do that again, now that work is less hectic
super glad to see everyone - I've been sick for the past, like, 3 weeks with just a low-grade cold, and I'm finally coming out of it
I actually extended my illness by going to see Coheed and Cambria with a friend, which was totally worth it! man, stage lighting at that venue has DRASTICALLY improved, holy crap! there were a bunch of songs where the entire crowd was just hit with this rainbow palette and it gave me this huge swell of Sense8 finale feels.
I was thinking if I ever gave it a shot I'd go with Amelia Bearheart
Steam
it's lame that it's only city ordinance and only out of shame but it's something, at least.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
His name is not being released to the public but coincidentally that's where Graham linehan is from
A man whose Twitter account notably went private recently
Today, in fact!
Bowsette costume is coming along nicely! Need to make shell and crown and horns still, but hey! Baby steps
even if 20% of the population was bi/gay, your opposite-sex matches are gonna be roughly 4 to same-sex 1.
hence a lot of bisexuals in the 5-10 lifetime relationships range have had, like, 1 or 2 gay and 4-8 straight relationships.
if monogamous, 80% or whatever will end up in straight marriages, assuming an exact 50-50 preference.
it's kind of my theory, though.
it's skewed somewhat by the lgbtq community clustering based on shared experience,
but historical taboo seems to skew it pretty hard the other way, too.
First, some light background:
I've been dating Goatmon, here, for just over a year. And it was briefly before we got together that I figured out I'm bi and trans. Thing is, my mother is really really right wing. We got into fights about it CONSTANTLY. It led me to lose a lot of respect for her. All the same, I really was terrified of her disowning me over all this. She's my mom...ya know?
That leads us to today:
This morning I woke up from a nightmare. I had dreamed that my little brother (a kid I loathe a lot of the time) was displaying some gay tendencies and my mom took a swing at him. I went off. I defended him and fought with her. She essentially ended the argument on the whole "No son of mine!!" shtick and I screamed in her face and stormed off. A few minutes later, my Dad approaches me and is choking back tears. He tells me something incoherent and I sprint to where I'd left my mom to find she'd shot herself. I woke up with a tear-stained pillow and immediately texted my mom telling her all about that nightmare. She said "I'd never turn away one of my children for being gay. I have gay friends and I have friends who are trans. It was just a bad dream. Love you." She'd NEVER been this sweet with me about things concerning LGBT folk. But her saying that finally gave me the push I needed to tell her everything. I told her ALL OF THE THINGS...and she accepted me! My mother was REALLY accepting! Even told me the name I chose for myself is pretty!
This sense of relief is overwhelming and I've been babbling to people about it all day. I don't frequent here, but I felt y'all should know cuz this site was one of the first places I came out publicly and sooooo it means a lot to me that I check in once in a while and when big things happen. I can finally move on with my life and get the help I need (finances allowing XP).
Thanks for reading
I think this might be part of it, but I think larger contributors might be related to ~patriarchy~
I deeply deeply suspect the number if bi/pan cismen is muuuuuch higher than anyone thinks, either because the individual dude is unawares/unaccepting of his own desires, or because of cultural pressures of homophobia/biphobia. Bi/pan women are more accepted, but that's almost entirely because of cismale fantasies surrounding femme on femme sex.
Also from a cultural acceptance framework, being in a hetero-appearing relationship is just friggin' easier in general--less harassment, less questioning, less bullshit to put up with in public, etc.
Aaaaaaand holy shit have you tried being a bi/pan femme trying to date a lesbian, or a bi/pan dude trying to date anyone?
I get shut down so fast, and often in just cruel ways because I enjoy banging dudes. Close cismen friends who are pan and out get the same cruelty from all sides.
I'm so happy for you, baby!
Thank you sweetheart >w<
I always feel it real keenly when I see so many queer women praise lesbians, and talk about how great girls are
aaaaaaaaaaaand never even spare a thought to include bi women in that whole equation
sorry I happen to like dudes on occasion, guess I'm not part of the cool club
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Fiiiiiistbump
A few weeks ago myself and two queer & poly femme friends went to the local LGBT+ film festival and somehow ended up sitting in the gold star lesbian section.
There were eight short films that night, and three? four? of them were about cheating/jealousy, and in the intermission we were musing aloud about how perhaps if the film subjects had considered nonmonogamy maybe this whole premise could have been avoided.
Cue the group of women around us making loud shocked noises about fidelity and how we must be bi because of course we couldn't make up our minds.
I am still angry at them.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
On an unrelated note, I got a haircut today and my hair's getting pretty long, about an inch below my shoulders.
I'm thinking at some point, whenever I get the guts, I might get it died pink as a "hello/fuck you, I'm me" to the world.
I might get it cut short if I dye it pink though, since I personally think that if you're gonna color long hair purple or platinum or red/orange seem to tend to look better. Like I dunno, maybe get some pink highlights instead.
Of course this is also assuming I eventually get the guts to do it.
I'm a ciswoman and these things may not be helpful, but I need somewhere to talk about them and yeah.
Add in the mood swings that went from violently angry over the smallest, stupidest little things to the deep dive depression that meant even thinking about eating took up too much energy, let alone actually eating. These mood swings would almost always happen on the 3rd week of my cycle, usually over about a 3 day period.
I finally broke down and talked to my Doctor about all of this because I didn't want to feel crazy anymore. I didn't want to keep being so irrationally angry, know that I was being irrationally angry, and being unable to stop myself from being that way. It was starting to effect other people. I normally could contain my mood swings in my brain and channel them out in other ways, but I was starting to actually be mean to my husband, and I had to call out of work a few times because I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't trust myself to not just scream at people for no real discernible reason.
But only for those 3 days. Every other day of the month I was fine. Happy for the most part, able to go with the flow and keep things going.
So the Doctor didn't want to put me on any anti-depressants because to change my whole overall mood for just 3 monthly days of crazy didn't make sense. Instead, she recommended that I try a herbal supplement called Vitex. Yes, I know. I rolled my eyes pretty hard as well. But she assured me that she took it as well, even showed me her bottle that she had in her purse. So I decided to go for it. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
Well, it turns out, it's actually pretty great stuff. I've been taking it for about 4 months now and I'm actually doing better than I have since before the kid was born. I'm in a good mood the majority of the time (current political upheaval not withstanding), and I'm even feeling sexual attraction and desire for my husband again. Almost like I was when we first got together and moved in and definitely before the baby came. My mood swings are manageable, they're present, but just tiny flashes and not crushing tsunamis of emotions. I can smile and laugh with my coworkers again. I don't hate everybody and everything and i'm really enjoying life.
I'm even feeling more self-confident than I have in the past, to the point where I'm almost considering getting my hair died a wild and crazy colour. right now my hair is buzzed short to a #5 on the clippers. Maybe closer to a #5.5 in reality. But yeah. Maybe I'll go purple for the summer.
Anyways, thanks for reading that if you did. If you are also dealing with wild and crazies, maybe talk to a Dr or GP or somebody about the herbal supplement Vitex. I honestly feel more myself again than I have in a long long long time. I know, I think I know, that taking HRT is slightly different than the normal hormonal changes for a ciswoman but maybe it could be helpful to others? I dunno. I'm rambling. Sorry about that.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I have gotten a lot better about this, lately. I only seem to have trouble sticking to neutral pronouns, when referring to nonbinary folk.
It's surprisingly hard for me to quit perceiving people strictly within the male/female binary.
That being said it's not hard to avoid gendered pronouns by either substituting them for gender neutral ones or simply avoiding pronouns.
The last thread got me to start incorporating y'all back into my vocabulary due to it being more inclusive, after I dropped it mostly out of my vocabulary around high school time to "sound more intelligent" (ugh). Ya'll is a useful cover all group term.
"I like attractive people."
It kind of wraps everything up and really leaves no realistic opening for criticism (beyond your standard bigotry).
both, actually
i'm a gold star bisexual
My stock response is generally "I am attracted to people, not parts"
It's like if you're gay and never had sex with a woman or lesbian and never had sex with a man.
It's a way for assholes to try and introduce a hierarchy in their communities.
Oh I get that being proud of doing that is a legit thing, I was just curious if they were voluntarily choosing that term. It sounds like something people came up with to make fun of them