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Penny Arcade - Comic - Modern History

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited February 1 in The Penny Arcade Hub

imagePenny Arcade - Comic - Modern History

Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.

Read the full story here


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Posts

  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    None of it makes sense to me, but KH3 is pretty much my entry into the series. Fun game, though! Even if through most of the cutscenes I just nod and smile like my mom when I used to try to explain my favorite animes to her when I was a kid.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure even the people who make kingdom hearts don't understand kingdom hearts.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
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  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    I am protesting Kingdom Hearts 3 because it doesn't have a Robin Hood world. In fact, they have failed for 3 main story entries and a handful of side games to include Robin Hood into this franchise.

    Also, same thing for Jungle Book.


    There's a simple question you can ask, which will determine if the movie qualifies as "Best Disney cartoon ever" and that question is this:

    Does the movie have a dancing bear?

    If you can answer yes to that question, it is the best Disney cartoon. There are two movies that meet this qualification. Robin Hood and Jungle Book.

    And they have failed to include both into the Kingdom Hearts series.

    KoopahTroopahH3KnucklestwmjrNightslyrKalTorakThawmusRatherDashing89AbsalonMan in the MistsMoridin889DonnictonAndy JoeLostNinja
  • SorceSorce Registered User regular
    I find it difficult to believe that Pooh has never danced.

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  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    edited February 1
    I think a lot of people tend to forget Disney made the Winnie the Pooh series.

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  • StericaSterica Wow! That was shit.Registered User, Moderator mod
    Sorce wrote: »
    I find it difficult to believe that Pooh has never danced.
    Pooh is not a bear: he is a toy that looks like a bear.

    An important distinction.

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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited February 1
    The pooh section spoilers for length and a voice actor

    in this one is super short. Unless you go back to it. Like shorter than 1 and 2 by a lot. And Rabbit had a different voice I assume like everyone else because the original actor died.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

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  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    Sorce wrote: »
    I find it difficult to believe that Pooh has never danced.
    Pooh is not a bear: he is a toy that looks like a bear.

    An important distinction.

    Exactly. Pooh does all kinds of things that are unrealistic for a bear, like talking, singing, dancing and wearing clothes.

  • KalTorakKalTorak Way up inside your butthole, Morty. WAAAAY up inside there.Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    I am protesting Kingdom Hearts 3 because it doesn't have a Robin Hood world. In fact, they have failed for 3 main story entries and a handful of side games to include Robin Hood into this franchise.

    Also, same thing for Jungle Book.


    There's a simple question you can ask, which will determine if the movie qualifies as "Best Disney cartoon ever" and that question is this:

    Does the movie have a dancing bear?

    If you can answer yes to that question, it is the best Disney cartoon. There are two movies that meet this qualification. Robin Hood and Jungle Book.

    And they have failed to include both into the Kingdom Hearts series.

    also just in terms of the intersection between game flavor and gameplay, you can't ask for a much better action RPG party member than motherfucking Fox Robin Hood. Dude is straight DPS.

    Plus both he and Little John have a pretty strong drag game... I don't remember the game mechanics all that well but who knows, it might come up.

    Man in the MistsH3KnucklesLostNinja
  • RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    I am protesting Kingdom Hearts 3 because it doesn't have a Robin Hood world. In fact, they have failed for 3 main story entries and a handful of side games to include Robin Hood into this franchise.

    Also, same thing for Jungle Book.


    There's a simple question you can ask, which will determine if the movie qualifies as "Best Disney cartoon ever" and that question is this:

    Does the movie have a dancing bear?

    If you can answer yes to that question, it is the best Disney cartoon. There are two movies that meet this qualification. Robin Hood and Jungle Book.

    And they have failed to include both into the Kingdom Hearts series.

    I'll see your dancing bear and raise you one Prohibition-era Caribbean Cargo Plane Pilot Bear. I've never played Kingdom Hearts but a Talespin world would be an instant sell for me.

    RingoTofystedethH3KnucklesSorceLostNinja
  • T-DangerT-Danger Registered User regular
    ProZd will forever have the best summation of the Kingdom Hearts experience.

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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    I tried so hard, so hard to get into KH and I just cannot

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
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  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    I tried so hard, so hard to get into KH and I just cannot

    I wonder if maybe they should've just made the games "Here's Disney worlds and characters (sometimes Final Fantasy characters, but not really anymore), and oooh here's some badguys what want to do badguy stuff. But it's OK Donald, Goofy, and Magic Boy are here to stop them!"

    Like, instead of the long-winded convoluted sorta thing they have now. I mean, people like it so I guess is wasn't a bad call.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
    H3Knuckles
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I tried so hard, so hard to get into KH and I just cannot

    I've watched a lot of them, and for me the story is just painful. Like the prozd video is basically how it goes "oh god here's a bunch of info dump shit" and then "oh shit yeah here's a disney movie!"

    This one has bigger areas to explore but they feel really empty like just combat arenas and thats it.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
    joshofalltrades
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    The story didn’t need to be anything

    It’s a silly premise, just lean into it

    Stop trying to make it some epic, serious thing

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
    TofystedethPreachercloudeagleMoridin889Andy JoeH3KnucklesArteen
  • ShowsniShowsni Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    There's a simple question you can ask, which will determine if the movie qualifies as "Best Disney cartoon ever" and that question is this:

    Does the movie have a dancing bear?

    If you can answer yes to that question, it is the best Disney cartoon. There are two movies that meet this qualification. Robin Hood and Jungle Book.

    And they have failed to include both into the Kingdom Hearts series.

    But that means Fun and Fancy Free is the best Disney cartoon.

    H3Knuckles
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    The story didn’t need to be anything

    It’s a silly premise, just lean into it

    Stop trying to make it some epic, serious thing

    Honestly the "story" drags down the gameplay. Like there have been multiple times in the game where the action stops dead for them to exposition dump on you about things that happened in other games. Jim Sterling included one in his recent impression on KH3 and its just mind boggling that whoever designed the game is ok with literally two characters explaining the plot for 5 to 10 minutes.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
    H3Knuckles
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    I'm currently replaying the first one (I'm captain Late to the Party), which is the one in which the lore doesn't quite collapse under its own ponderous weight. And even then the non-Disney plots are really clunkily-written and overwrought. The early scenes on Destiny Islands (also: they're named DESTINY ISLANDS) where Sora and Riku and Character They Really Didn't Know What to Do With are palling around are a bit painful, they're so loaded down with foreshadowing and such.

    That kind of overly-straightforward writing is so much easier to take when Jafar just wants the damn lamp and the Red Queen just wants to decapitate everyone and Clayton just wants to ventilate some damn gorillas.

    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
    H3Knuckles
  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    I tried so hard, so hard to get into KH and I just cannot

    I've watched a lot of them, and for me the story is just painful. Like the prozd video is basically how it goes "oh god here's a bunch of info dump shit" and then "oh shit yeah here's a disney movie!"

    This one has bigger areas to explore but they feel really empty like just combat arenas and thats it.
    Been watching some of PlayFrame's playthrough of the Kingdom Hearts series, and personally I'm kinda having the opposite takeaway. I'm only up to their playthrough of the second game so far, but the Disney stuff is often just a rehash of the movie except kinda not good since they're trying to cram it into like, ten total minutes of storytelling, and while that video's characterization of the actual plot isn't really wrong, at least it's something new and not just a story I already know, but worse.

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    jothki
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    cB557 wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    I tried so hard, so hard to get into KH and I just cannot

    I've watched a lot of them, and for me the story is just painful. Like the prozd video is basically how it goes "oh god here's a bunch of info dump shit" and then "oh shit yeah here's a disney movie!"

    This one has bigger areas to explore but they feel really empty like just combat arenas and thats it.
    Been watching some of PlayFrame's playthrough of the Kingdom Hearts series, and personally I'm kinda having the opposite takeaway. I'm only up to their playthrough of the second game so far, but the Disney stuff is often just a rehash of the movie except kinda not good since they're trying to cram it into like, ten total minutes of storytelling, and while that video's characterization of the actual plot isn't really wrong, at least it's something new and not just a story I already know, but worse.

    I dunno I'd take the lazy disney rehash to the similarly dressed anime hair dudes who talk about darkness and light and oh god my eyes glazed over.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
    H3Knuckles
  • sokpupetsokpupet Registered User regular
    I was 20 when Kingdom Hearts came out.
    I nearly cried when Pooh told me what happened to his friends.
    Once he was finished explaining, I took a deep breath, wiped the unfallen tears from my eyes, and went on a rage-fueled killing spree--not unlike your Rama's or John Wicks'--massacring those who had dared to hurt my friends from when I was four years old.

    ...then I never finished Kingdom Hearts II because I honestly had no idea what was going on, and I'll probably just watch a Let's Play of Kingdom Hearts III. Or maybe read the wiki. We'll see.

    Golden YakLeon2309YoungFreyH3Knuckles
  • YeOldeWizardYeOldeWizard Registered User new member
    The story didn’t need to be anything

    It’s a silly premise, just lean into it

    Stop trying to make it some epic, serious thing

    According to Gamespot's "History of Kingdom Hearts", that was kind of the original plan, with early builds of Kingdom Hearts being more focused on simple gameplay and a kid-friendly story. But then Hironobu Sakaguchi, the creator of Final Fantasy and an executive producer on Kingdom Hearts, told Tetsuya Nomura that his game would be considered a failure if it didn't strive for the same level of storytelling found in Final Fantasy games.

    Which is how we wound up with this silly game that takes itself very seriously, and I love that juxtaposition of ideas.

    cB557Leon2309
  • Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The PIT, level 26Registered User regular
    I like Kingdom Hearts, convoluted story and all, but I can't really argue that it isn't ridiculous a lot of the time. And I think a huge part of how it's regarded as ridiculous is the fact that all the Disney stuff and super basic Light v Dark stuff is mixed in with this elaborate and intricate lore they're weaving. If they were doing something this complex with, like, Bloodborne or some new fantasy IP I don't think it would be criticized as hard as it is. It introduces a lot of fanciful and arbitrary rules, but then it never breaks them, and does some pretty creative stuff with them. Why do all these guys have Xs in their names? Well, there's two huge reasons why in the lore, while in reality it probably started out with 'kids think names with Xs are cool.'*

    *And they're right, god damn it.

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    Leon2309
  • KalTorakKalTorak Way up inside your butthole, Morty. WAAAAY up inside there.Registered User regular
    I remember the summer when I tried playing KH1, after hearing so much about it. I played so many worlds! Beat tons of bosses, met Disney characters, had a fine old time. Beat the Maleficent dragon, then some "I'm the REAL boss" boss shows up, beat him, and then it's like "okay, let's play the next half (?) of the game!" and I was like... no, I'm done. Pretty sure I just beat the game, bye now.

  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    edited February 2
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    I am protesting Kingdom Hearts 3 because it doesn't have a Robin Hood world. In fact, they have failed for 3 main story entries and a handful of side games to include Robin Hood into this franchise.

    Also, same thing for Jungle Book.


    There's a simple question you can ask, which will determine if the movie qualifies as "Best Disney cartoon ever" and that question is this:

    Does the movie have a dancing bear?

    If you can answer yes to that question, it is the best Disney cartoon. There are two movies that meet this qualification. Robin Hood and Jungle Book.

    And they have failed to include both into the Kingdom Hearts series.

    also just in terms of the intersection between game flavor and gameplay, you can't ask for a much better action RPG party member than motherfucking Fox Robin Hood. Dude is straight DPS.

    Plus both he and Little John have a pretty strong drag game... I don't remember the game mechanics all that well but who knows, it might come up.

    I mean, this is developed by Square-"Miss Cloud goes to Wall Market"-Enix. It's even another Tetsuya Nomura joint like FFVII was.

    H3Knuckles on
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  • SorceSorce Registered User regular
    Golden Yak wrote: »
    I like Kingdom Hearts, convoluted story and all, but I can't really argue that it isn't ridiculous a lot of the time. And I think a huge part of how it's regarded as ridiculous is the fact that all the Disney stuff and super basic Light v Dark stuff is mixed in with this elaborate and intricate lore they're weaving. If they were doing something this complex with, like, Bloodborne or some new fantasy IP I don't think it would be criticized as hard as it is. It introduces a lot of fanciful and arbitrary rules, but then it never breaks them, and does some pretty creative stuff with them. Why do all these guys have Xs in their names? Well, there's two huge reasons why in the lore, while in reality it probably started out with 'kids think names with Xs are cool.'*

    *And they're right, god damn it.
    It's how Skrillex got his name.

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    Backloggery. It's totally updated again, I swear!
    H3Knuckles
  • TamerBillTamerBill Registered User regular
    Sorce wrote: »
    Golden Yak wrote: »
    I like Kingdom Hearts, convoluted story and all, but I can't really argue that it isn't ridiculous a lot of the time. And I think a huge part of how it's regarded as ridiculous is the fact that all the Disney stuff and super basic Light v Dark stuff is mixed in with this elaborate and intricate lore they're weaving. If they were doing something this complex with, like, Bloodborne or some new fantasy IP I don't think it would be criticized as hard as it is. It introduces a lot of fanciful and arbitrary rules, but then it never breaks them, and does some pretty creative stuff with them. Why do all these guys have Xs in their names? Well, there's two huge reasons why in the lore, while in reality it probably started out with 'kids think names with Xs are cool.'*

    *And they're right, god damn it.
    It's how Skrillex got his name.

    Right, he was originally called Krilles before he became a Nobody.

    3DS Friend Code: 4828-4410-2451
    PreacherH3KnucklesTofystedeth
  • DrascinDrascin Registered User regular
    edited February 2
    Golden Yak wrote: »
    I like Kingdom Hearts, convoluted story and all, but I can't really argue that it isn't ridiculous a lot of the time. And I think a huge part of how it's regarded as ridiculous is the fact that all the Disney stuff and super basic Light v Dark stuff is mixed in with this elaborate and intricate lore they're weaving. If they were doing something this complex with, like, Bloodborne or some new fantasy IP I don't think it would be criticized as hard as it is. It introduces a lot of fanciful and arbitrary rules, but then it never breaks them, and does some pretty creative stuff with them. Why do all these guys have Xs in their names? Well, there's two huge reasons why in the lore, while in reality it probably started out with 'kids think names with Xs are cool.'*

    *And they're right, god damn it.

    I really think there's a lot of that, yeah. Because Kingdom Hearts is seriously not that hard to parse, but people act like it's this hyper-complex maze of complete unintelligibleness. I feel like the basic backdrop of Disney + Good Versus Evil Fight makes people not really engage very much, because it's silly and obviously nothing that has Donald in it could be weird or complicated.

    And I mean, it has a hell of a lot of moments that fall flat because the simple fact is that the games may have good ideas but just aren't terribly well told and the pacing is all over the place, so you will not find me arguing that the story is great, but I will continue to insist that it is, really, not that complicated.

    Drascin on
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  • JackJack Registered User regular
    I was a teen when the original came out and I was all "This Disney stuff is okay but it's getting in the way of my serious Final Fantasy story."

    Now I'm an adult and I can admit to myself that I unashamedly adore Disney.

    Leon2309
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Ok having seen the ending of KH 3 like the "full ending" of the game I have no god damn clue what was going on.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The PIT, level 26Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Ok having seen the ending of KH 3 like the "full ending" of the game I have no god damn clue what was going on.

    That's normal.

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  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    Count me in the group who feels that all of the Disney stuff is something that I have to slog through in order to get to the ridiculous Nomura anime bullshit that I'm really playing the games for.

  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    KH3 is my first dip into the series mostly because so many friends love the series and I can enjoy all the ridiculous stuff about light, dark, hearts, and clones for the most part.

    But I also think the story of the franchise across the main games and side games is a good demonstration of why Square is normally not allowed to write more than 2 games worth of continuity in plot lines.

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