The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Oh yikes, so there's a chance those two will be with each other for years to come. :? I don't know how your family is, how close you are with them and how much honesty is appreciated. I would just talk to my grandmother and explain why you can drink your cousin's blood now.
The elderly people can be surprisingly cunning in this sort of situations.
If you guys aren't all that close I'd just opt to not see your cousin for a while.
What is your family, the Corleones? Why hold a grudge if everybody's happier and your brother is already over it? Why skip entire family events just because of what happened? Nobody even got married, you're just talking about short-term, casual relationships. Don't ruin your time with the rest of your family because of some white trash girl. Just ignore them if they try to talk to you; there's nothing else you can really do.
I'm trying to figure out why you'd be angry at your cousin.
I mean, were I in your position, I would be thanking him from the bottom of my heart.
The fact that the cousin slept with the brother's girlfriend--whether she was a harpy or not--is not cool.
That said, the offense was committed against the brother, and not the OP. To the OP, I say - follow your brother's lead. If he's at peace with it, you need to let it go too. Your cousin didn't do anything to you either way. This is not your fight, and if your brother is "ehh, whatever" about it then you're not exactly "standing up for him."
I'm trying to figure out why you'd be angry at your cousin.
I mean, were I in your position, I would be thanking him from the bottom of my heart.
Well, yeah, but cheating is definitely frowned upon, no matter the relationship that's being affected by it. Like Grundlterror said, they are the ones who should feel uncomfortable in family situations. I agree that you should probably consult some family elders about the story; generally they're more likely to understand the situation without adding more baggage (i.e. "how dare you accuse my son of such a thing"), and they tend to be able to explain to others what's going on more rationally if the question comes up.
Kicking asses is definitely not the answer; ignoring them is probably a better idea. Remember, if they were willing to cheat on your brother, odds are fairly good one of them will be willing to cheat again. Relationships founded on cheating aren't exactly based on honesty and openness, and more often than not end in a similar situation.
A friend of mine went through a very similiar situation - so similar, it's almost eerie. When it came to family gatherings, I think they were far and few between (it helped his cousin moved after graduating). He was really conflicted over it because he had been very close to his cousin up to that point. I think what helped him was realizing that the girl wasn't worth worrying over. Eventually, I think his cousin and the girl broke up (many years later).
I don't think it's a good idea to involve the rest of the family. That will just stress everyone out, unless of course everyone decides to shun your cousin. I'd just say get over it. It's normal to dislike some parts of your family, especially your extended family. As for your brother, just try to act as a buffer in family situations that may be bothering him.
Posts
ie: How serious can this new relationship be?
The elderly people can be surprisingly cunning in this sort of situations.
If you guys aren't all that close I'd just opt to not see your cousin for a while.
I mean, were I in your position, I would be thanking him from the bottom of my heart.
The fact that the cousin slept with the brother's girlfriend--whether she was a harpy or not--is not cool.
That said, the offense was committed against the brother, and not the OP. To the OP, I say - follow your brother's lead. If he's at peace with it, you need to let it go too. Your cousin didn't do anything to you either way. This is not your fight, and if your brother is "ehh, whatever" about it then you're not exactly "standing up for him."
Kicking asses is definitely not the answer; ignoring them is probably a better idea. Remember, if they were willing to cheat on your brother, odds are fairly good one of them will be willing to cheat again. Relationships founded on cheating aren't exactly based on honesty and openness, and more often than not end in a similar situation.
I don't think it's a good idea to involve the rest of the family. That will just stress everyone out, unless of course everyone decides to shun your cousin. I'd just say get over it. It's normal to dislike some parts of your family, especially your extended family. As for your brother, just try to act as a buffer in family situations that may be bothering him.