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Mr. Mixed Signals...

overthinking-101overthinking-101 Registered User new member
edited June 2019 in Help / Advice Forum
There’s this guy (let’s call him Jeff), him and I have known each other for a while but we never got as close as we did till 2nd semester of our senior year. Around this time I started shifting from one friend group to another, and he happened to be apart of this other one, so we were spending a lot more time together. It might just be me, but when we are around each other we connect (? I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but there is this spark…) Sometimes I catch him staring at me and he shyly glances away. Also, we make eye contact a lot, or we just can’t not smile at each other which are rather subtle, but then there are moments where he’s been somewhat spontaneous.
We were on a school retreat it was late and we laid on the ground gazing at the stars and we were lightly hitting each others hands, and he tried to awkwardly hold my hand. Another time we went to six flags with our group of friends; one thing led to another and due to a family circumstance I started crying and had an emotional breakdown. He noticed… When I fixed myself up I got on the ferris wheel with him and two other friends. He gave me a stuffed animal I wanted. I hugged and thanked him, but after awhile I laid my head on his shoulder and he awkwardly patted my head, when I got up and moved he pulled me into a hug where he wrapped an arm around me and we stayed like that for a moment (it made me so happy). After that we went to another ride and were waiting I asked him for a hug (I like hugs) we hugged and after a bit I was moving away from him, but he held onto me tightly. Another time we were at the theater with our friend, and I laid my head on his shoulder and he did the awkward pat again (lol), but he rested his head on mine.
Anyways, he gives me mixed signals, because he does adorable things that makes me think he might potentially have feelings for me, but then he never texts me, and I always have to put in a ton of effort to keep the conversation going. I’m always the one to text him first and I can never tell if he’s annoyed with me, because I’m texting him. It’s just its summer and we barely see each other and I enjoy texting/talking to him… Am I overthinking, or being stupid? Or….. (???) idk…

overthinking-101 on

Posts

  • BlindZenDriverBlindZenDriver Registered User regular
    Hard to be sure, but you could be right about him being interested.

    If there is someone you feel you're close to in the friends group and that have know him longer, you could ask about him to maybe learn of his history with dating. Else you may have to chance it and be more direct, he might just be shy and not knowing if or how to possibly connect with you when there is no occasion served on a platter.

    Why not just ask if he want's to meet somewhere, maybe for lunch or something casual activity.

    Bones heal, glory is forever.
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Probably don't need to make another thread to expand on the same topics discussed here: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/226717/i-overthink#latest

    If you were in your 20s+ this sort of thing would be pretty solid indicators that the dude is crushing on you to some extent. But at the same time, being still in school with both of you being young and experienced its not possible to tell 100%. Just straight up ask the guy out. If he says yes, problem solved. If he says no, a weekend of sadness and then move on, problem also solved.

    Enc on
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    If you want to know if someone is interested in you, ask. For example, "I'd like to go on a date with you, would you be interested?" Don't hint, don't wait for hints from him. Ask.

    "excuse my French
    But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
    - Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    High school "love" is so awkward. For most, it never stops bring awkward.

    Straight up ask him is probably the best advice, at any age, though.

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  • zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    It’s socialization, many of my fellow male identified friends are text and call minimalists, he may be an introvert which means he finds phone calls draining and is just never going to be much of a texter. If he’s interested it is highly likely you will have to pursue. But it’s high school, and while everything feels immediate and of grave importance. Time and perspective is a hell of a thing, and many of those things were not super important and probably could have waited. If you want to date him bring it up, if you are unsure, wait and consider, everything is in your court and is your choice.

    ...and you still definitely are not pregnant.

  • overthinking-101overthinking-101 Registered User new member
    zepherin wrote: »
    It’s socialization, many of my fellow male identified friends are text and call minimalists, he may be an introvert which means he finds phone calls draining and is just never going to be much of a texter. If he’s interested it is highly likely you will have to pursue. But it’s high school, and while everything feels immediate and of grave importance. Time and perspective is a hell of a thing, and many of those things were not super important and probably could have waited. If you want to date him bring it up, if you are unsure, wait and consider, everything is in your court and is your choice.

    ...and you still definitely are not pregnant.

    I just don’t understand. are you using “pregnant” as a reference or something? Or am I just dumb, and don’t get it?

  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies drinking coffee in the mountain cabinRegistered User regular
    zepherin wrote: »
    It’s socialization, many of my fellow male identified friends are text and call minimalists, he may be an introvert which means he finds phone calls draining and is just never going to be much of a texter. If he’s interested it is highly likely you will have to pursue. But it’s high school, and while everything feels immediate and of grave importance. Time and perspective is a hell of a thing, and many of those things were not super important and probably could have waited. If you want to date him bring it up, if you are unsure, wait and consider, everything is in your court and is your choice.

    ...and you still definitely are not pregnant.

    I just don’t understand. are you using “pregnant” as a reference or something? Or am I just dumb, and don’t get it?

    We get weird spammers on this board that pretend they're high school girls afraid they might be pregnant. You're not dumb. You would be well suited to be straightforward with your friend, though - it's better to know than not, and you can stay friends after a rejection. Just keep going the same as before the conversation. Two or three hangouts of faking normalcy and it will become normal again.

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  • zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    zepherin wrote: »
    It’s socialization, many of my fellow male identified friends are text and call minimalists, he may be an introvert which means he finds phone calls draining and is just never going to be much of a texter. If he’s interested it is highly likely you will have to pursue. But it’s high school, and while everything feels immediate and of grave importance. Time and perspective is a hell of a thing, and many of those things were not super important and probably could have waited. If you want to date him bring it up, if you are unsure, wait and consider, everything is in your court and is your choice.

    ...and you still definitely are not pregnant.

    I just don’t understand. are you using “pregnant” as a reference or something? Or am I just dumb, and don’t get it?
    It’s just a joke based on weird I think I’m pregnant spam. I wasn’t trying to make light of your situation, or make you feel dumb.

  • overthinking-101overthinking-101 Registered User new member
    zepherin wrote: »
    zepherin wrote: »
    It’s socialization, many of my fellow male identified friends are text and call minimalists, he may be an introvert which means he finds phone calls draining and is just never going to be much of a texter. If he’s interested it is highly likely you will have to pursue. But it’s high school, and while everything feels immediate and of grave importance. Time and perspective is a hell of a thing, and many of those things were not super important and probably could have waited. If you want to date him bring it up, if you are unsure, wait and consider, everything is in your court and is your choice.

    ...and you still definitely are not pregnant.

    I just don’t understand. are you using “pregnant” as a reference or something? Or am I just dumb, and don’t get it?
    It’s just a joke based on weird I think I’m pregnant spam. I wasn’t trying to make light of your situation, or make you feel dumb.

    Oh okay! Sorry I just wasn’t sure if I was missing something lol. Thanks and I get what you’re say. It makes sense. Thanks again.

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