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It's All Actualization Up in the [Personal and Emotional Growth] Thread
burbo
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Now that I'm (well into) my 30s, I've found I have become much more interested in something my 20s self thought was super lame. Now I want to like, you know, grow, as a person. I guess I finally figured I could only get so far blaming my parents for shit, and my youth was rapidly losing it's efficacy as an excuse. Eventually, I guess, I decided a person just has to try and figure some shit out, and may struggle their way to some change.
I've tried a handful of different approaches, I'm certainly not an expert and definitely not enlightened, but lately I've found a few approaches that are helpful for me.
As a general framework for thinking about and dealing with emotions, rather than psychoanalyis and introspection, I've found a lot of benefit from looking at things with an ACT (Acceptance and Committment Therapy) approach. This is basically about using mindfulness techniques to defuse with unhelpful thoughts and emotions, and redirecting your energy towards actions that will help you align with your values. Very practical kind of thing that I've found pretty useful. There are some pretty good books to get started on this too, and since it is kind of skill building and pretty nonspecific in it's application, it is much less dependent on a good therapist than a lot of other shit I've tried in the past
A media resource that I like as well, as kind of bite size food for thought pieces of insight and wisdom, is the School of Life channel on Youtube. I don't agree with everything they say, and usually their videos are too short to really get in depth on any subject, but I find it helpful as kind of a quick reminder of how to reframe my thoughts into a more helpful perspective on various things, I'd recommend looking at their shit for anyone interested in this stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/user/schooloflifechannel
Anyone else finding themselves pretty interested in personal or emotional growth these days? How has the process been? Have you found any resources or approaches that you find useful?
I've tried a handful of different approaches, I'm certainly not an expert and definitely not enlightened, but lately I've found a few approaches that are helpful for me.
As a general framework for thinking about and dealing with emotions, rather than psychoanalyis and introspection, I've found a lot of benefit from looking at things with an ACT (Acceptance and Committment Therapy) approach. This is basically about using mindfulness techniques to defuse with unhelpful thoughts and emotions, and redirecting your energy towards actions that will help you align with your values. Very practical kind of thing that I've found pretty useful. There are some pretty good books to get started on this too, and since it is kind of skill building and pretty nonspecific in it's application, it is much less dependent on a good therapist than a lot of other shit I've tried in the past
A media resource that I like as well, as kind of bite size food for thought pieces of insight and wisdom, is the School of Life channel on Youtube. I don't agree with everything they say, and usually their videos are too short to really get in depth on any subject, but I find it helpful as kind of a quick reminder of how to reframe my thoughts into a more helpful perspective on various things, I'd recommend looking at their shit for anyone interested in this stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/user/schooloflifechannel
Anyone else finding themselves pretty interested in personal or emotional growth these days? How has the process been? Have you found any resources or approaches that you find useful?
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Honestly, one thing I do a lot of is self-examination. What I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and whether or not it's something I can work on. The trick is to figure out the fine line between being self-conscious (judging oneself) and self-aware (knowing oneself), and sorting out the difference. Sometimes a bit of self-consciousness is fine, but most of the time it's a matter of accepting how things are and then addressing the things that don't feel right.
For the stuff that does need improvement, I'm always pretty gentle on myself - building positive habits over a long time has been a lot more effective than trying to affect sudden radical changes in my lifestyle
I don't know how much sense this all makes but it works for me
I used to do a lot of the self-examination/introspection thing in particular. One of the really kind of unintuitive things about the ACT stuff I've been working on though, is that they don't really recommend that kind of thing. They would say that in the end, your thoughts and feelings are a lot of chatter, and sometimes they mean something and sometimes they don't. If we spend a lot of energy chasing down the source of all of those things, we may learn some stuff about ourselves, but most of the time it doesn't help us change or align with our values.
I don't know if I agree with that all the way or not, but it's definitely been a refreshing thing to try. There's a kind of freedom in treating your brain like a radio, knowing that it will always be blabbering away, and just being like "Yeah, ok, thanks brain, I see you there. Anyway, I'm going to keep on doing the important stuff in my life".
If you don't mind too much sharing, what do you think prompted you to want to focus on self growth?
i am changing every day
*heavy sigh*
Actually, I always knew where it was, I just didn't have the agency to take charge of it.
Also all my negative emotions usually come out on this board, allowing me to be a even-tempered cat the rest of the time.
I have finally realized after almost 15 years that I respond to a stressful day by feeling nauseated the next morning, which in the past has resulted in me taking the day off and running down my sick days. For example, the day after I left work at noon I spent the day feeling pretty horrible. Last week I was having one of those mornings and tried taking a single Gravol before I went to work and it sorted me right out. Now that I've figured out a treatment for the symptoms I need to figure out to tackle the issue properly.
My place of work has a lot of resources they offer to employees to manage stress and burnout. Perhaps I should have a look at one of them.
I did pretty good, got a couple days, but I let some shithead in Red Dead Online frustrate me to the point where I like, logged off, got in my car, and fumed about it until I got to Wawa and bought a pack of cigarettes and was halfway through one when I was like "wtf is my problem, forget that guy. Wow this cigarette is good."
so I guess I'm just gonna ration these cigs until they're gone
"no just throw those out" "are you crazy, that was 8 dollars. That's like half of your current net worth."
oh how I wish I hadn't talked so much shit about vapes and burned that bridge
And? Just go pick one up. If anyone gives you any shit about having made fun of them in the past, tell them you changed your mind.
One day my vape box broke down after a hard drop onto a curb and I just accepted that, one or two cocktail cigarettes since but I haven't bought a pack in years now
Like you noticed with your nausea, it's amazing sometimes how much paying attention to how your body feels can give you insight into how your mind is doing, and vice versa.
That was definitely one of the most useful skills I've worked on developing. If I'm not sure how I'm feeling but I can tell I'm somewhat agitated, then paying attention to what my body is doing is often a big clue.
I successfully used a 2 week long sinus infection to quit
Then stayed quit because my wife got pregnant
Having a kid makes it super easy to not ever want a smoke again
you're doing a pretty good job, as far as one can tell via forum posts!
I'm kinda in the same boat, I spent so long on my grind and lost in syringes that I forgot how to function as a human being with emotions and stuff.
it's been like, 5 years since I got clean tho! and I think I've gotten better, except for the crippling anxieties and the occasional "oops time to hide in the shower because I'm gonna ugly cry for no reason"
as a side one of the people I work with did correctly guess that I was using a larp character and one of my brain spiders pointing out in essence I am a unicorn in that
Do you have any mental health services available to you through the VA?
Yes but I don't talk about it as this is where they were very curious in me sighting what one of my brain spiders is and does as it's what it is and doesn't work in the text book way hence being a unicorn in that
I hope the pills kick in sooner than they did last time I was on them. I feel so sick and scared right now.