Child support from abusive ex

alteredbeastmode

Using an alt for confidentiality. A friend has recently finally had her ex charged for his abuse. However, she is dependent on his child support and can not afford to lose it. Lawyers are telling her she wouldn’t receive it if he is jailed, as it’s mostly dependent on income.

Does anyone have any experience with this, or advice? She’s speaking to lawyers and has a full time job. I’m just hoping the world isn’t this messed up that a woman would be forced to let her abuser go free to pay her bills.

alteredbeastmode

Keeping this as vague as possible to start with respect to location, etc., unless it’s necessary.

Xaquin

most if not all prisons have work release programs

also, if this is the first time he's been arrested for anything, odds are, he won't go to jail sadly

JaysonFour

Speaking as someone who's seen too many family members in abusive relationships, I say fuck him and let him rot in jail. It might mean coming together to ask places for help, but there are organizations out there (religious and/or otherwise) that might donate to help keep her afloat, and a crisis counselor might be able to point her to other organizations for support and help.

All the money in the world's not worth the abuse.

Hevach

Fuck him. Being dependent on him is something abusers can and will use, primary goal should be to reduce that dependence. That's hard, and I'm not going to give you a ten year roadmap to financial freedom, but I'll tell you a few things she can do right now and in t he coming weeks:

Apply for every form of government benefit possible - food stamps, child care, Medicaid, WIC, the works, many states will let you shotgun this in a single application. You do have to report child support in this process, but the second he can no longer pay because he's either lost his job or gone to prison report that as a change in circumstance, many benefits will increase when this happens and it might put her over the threshold for others. Do you already know you're not eligible? Apply anyway, all they can do is deny you, and denials can open other doors if a decent caseworker is given your application.

Are the lawyers mentioned hers or his? If they're his, fuck them with the same pole. Don't even talk to them without another lawyer present. If they're hers, then talk to them about options when he does go to jail. In some states you can go after his accounts and property, but the window to do so is narrow because anyone else he owes money to can do the same and you need to strike before his credit cards or loans start going delinquent.

zepherin

There is generally a child support minimum, it’s usually like 50 bucks a month, it’ll accrue. If the husband does not petition the court it will accrue at a high rate. This is a debt that is not dischargeable by any means. So there is that, but he should go to jail, however a first time offender will likely get probation and a no contact order. Also she doesn’t have any official say in prosecution (other than maybe a victim impact statement). That is the sole discretion of the prosecutor. In most jurisdictions the victim cannot drop the charges.