I Suck at....sharing?? or..

Anon

Soooo I have a room mate and we share a rather small 2 bedroom unit. I was hesitant when he first suggested he move in *my gf left... and i thought i should split the rent *..

Anyways....
I seem to face a few issues...and they are just getting worse..Im not sure what to do about them and they are pretty much making me not want to live with him anymore..

My friend seems to be quite.... Overpowering or something.. He is sooo loud, like just ALWAYS singing or playing guitar really loud... whereas I actually have some consideration for others, and would never do that out of respect for peoples peace and quiet, yeah, even his. He whinges if i leave any tiny mess/rubbish around yet goes on to leave his own filth everywhere...for me to clean up.. bleh.

His overpowering ways recently extended to him re-arranging our lounge room, much to my disgust...Without really consulting me. Now it wasnt his stuff in there, it was mine.......Like, my area where i "used" to game and watch tv...

This brings me to the next and maybe most painfull issue... however minor to some.. but being PA i hope you can understand...

The TV in the lounge room is mine, and has my 360 connected to Live hooked up to it. Thing is, since he has moved in, maybe....6 months ago now, I have hardly been able to play it AT ALL. He is just...constantly there... either watching TV, or... playing 360 lol... Its always this way because he gets home hours before me sooo...

I seriously dont know what to do without coming off like a dick...
"hey man do u think i can play my 360 in peace sometime" just seems a bit childish... I dont know..
But then again the whole noise thing and everything is just really making me not want to live with him... I dont think i have much choice but to move out which im planning on doing ASAP...
for the time being though what can i do to make the next few months easier for myself??

Endomatic

If you're in an apartment or something, is it your name on the lease?

If his isn't on it at all, you can freely kick him out. At least, I'm pretty sure that's the case. If he refuses you can call the police. A touch melodramatic to be sure, but at least you'll get what you want - Him gone.

At any rate, you need to start standing up for yourself. He will keep up his behavior unless you put a stop to it. That's what people like him do. They step on you for as long as you will let them.

Thanatos

Have you tried sitting down and talking to him about this stuff?

Just letting it build up and build up until, one day, you just explode with no real provocation is really not going to be productive.

CrossBuster

Just assert yourself. You (presumably) pay rent and utilities just like he does. Most of the stuff in the living room is your property. You have a a perfectly reasonable expectation that you will be able to use it.

Assuming that you aren't omitting any major facts, I'd say you'd be well within your rights to tell him what you just told us, and if he doesn't like it, tough.

PirateJon

I don't see where you asked him to stop being a dick. Do so.


ed - or what thanato said. Either way.

Serphimera

It's your place. You let him move in with you. Talk to him first, then when that doesn't work (I'm pretty sure it won't from your description), kick him out.

Also:
Do you want him living with you or do you just need someone to help you with the rent?
How good of friends are you? Is he worth keeping as a friend after all this?
Is he the only person you've had this problem with?

Mishra

If you want to use your stuff , just walk in and say hey man I feel like playing some 360 do you mind? As him to turn down the guitar when it's to loud, and perhaps get yourself a nice set of noise canceling headphones. Really though if it bothers you that much talk to him, just stewing in your growing annoyance isn't helping anything.

CrossBuster

Yeah, you can assert yourself and be firm without coming off as a dick. It's better to do it sooner, rather than later.

As has been mentioned before, you don't want to let it stew, only to explode at some random time.