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To pimp or not to pimp

MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User
edited May 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
I've never been really great with girls, at least not in the sense of having meaningful relationships that don't end with bitterness and hatred. My last two relationships ended on rather sour notes, and have left me feeling burnt out on the whole concept. So for the past 6 months, I've just been trying to have fun in that old fashioned way, and I've been enjoying that quite a bit. So here is the part where the help/advice comes in. I graduated with the class of 06, and haven't seen very many of the people I went to school with since. There was this girl that I liked quite a bit my senior year, but she had a boyfriend at the time and I wasn't about to fuck with that. When I went to the class of 07's graduation ceremony the other day and talked to her for the first time since my graduation, I asked her out. I was high, I was stupid, and I didn't expected her to say yes. But she did, and I'm kind of torn. I feel like I'm too young to be in a serious relationship, and have been quite successful with the one night stands, and I'm not looking forward to giving all of that up so early. But on the other hand, I think she could be the one, and I am afraid that if I don't jump at this now I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'm also afraid that if I do jump on this, she'll realize she could do a lot better than me. She's got her whole life planned out, and I have no clue what I'm going to be doing in 6 months when movers aren't in such a high demand.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about her for the past few days now. I can't wait for the bitterness and indifference that comes with age.

Preacher wrote: »
Something tells me this story ends up with Ballbaggins fucking his house again.
MrBallbaggins on


  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited May 2007
    No regrets. See where it goes, don't expect anything, do your best.

    devoir on
  • SolventSolvent Econ-artist ኢትዮጵያRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What the hell? Asking someone out =/= a serious relationship automatically. Perhaps it did at your high school, but don't think that just because this girl said yes when you asked her out that suddenly you're in what's going to be a long term relationship.

    Go out with her, have some fun, and if you're not right for her you'll know soon enough.

    Solvent on
    I don't know where he got the scorpions, or how he got them into my mattress.
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray the swamp, always the swampRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    No one is "the one". Pay some attention while watching the Matrix, will ya? D:

    And seriously, you don't date just to be in a long therm relationship, you're dating to get to know someone better and having fun with someone you feel attracted to.

    *edit: and while I'm on this high horse here anyway...

    1) Don't call it "pimping", that's just horrible.
    2) Bitterness and indifference does not come with age, I have met enough older passionate people. And there's nothing wrong with a bit of passion, dagnabbit.

    Aldo on
    Elendil wrote: »
    said Aldo hazily, before clop-clop-clopping out of the room
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ... Hmm... You think she may be the one, yet at the same time do enjoy your success in seeing women sexually and do not want to sleep with her so early in the relationship, which, by your admission in your desires, would not like to progress so fast into a romantic, intimate relationship, but would enjoy keeping the sex (or not sex) casual... Sorry, I may be confusing. The point is I am a bit confused about what you want from your relationship with this girl, aside from how you feel you may mess it up or complicate it. Do you want to see this girl, maybe even serially... or do you even want to date her.

    And then there is the whole issue of being self-confident, believeing in your own hotness level, and trusting that women are talking and flirting with you because you deserve to be flirted with. Most women will not waste their time flirting with useless men. If they do, it is only because they are new to the game and do not realise that they, as women, in most situations are the Deciderst TM and have more control than they may like or know what to do with. Now, The Cat may kill me on that, but that is just judging by anecdotal evidence that I have and I totally agree that there are many and often non-specific (to me) experiences and situations where women and girls and hotties, even, have proved my most recent theory wrong. I love it that they do, as I expect them to, but I was just talking to what I know. And, the point was, women generally find self-assure men to be more attractive then self-questioning men. I got into a lot of psycho-babble with that, and I apologise... I was drinking and not fucking like I expected, so I have lots of extra energy left over. Sorry.

    LaOs on
  • the muffinthe muffin Registered User
    edited May 2007
    I go by the: "whats the worst that could happen". So she lets say dumps you after finding out she could do better, then who gives a fuck, at least you got some. I consider my self to be in a similar situation with a one night stand, Im worried that she wont like me as much as she did when I (and possibley she) was drunk. But I'd still meet up with her if she wanted. I just hope I never had beer goggles on when we hooked up.

    the muffin on
  • SerphimeraSerphimera Registered User
    edited May 2007
    devoir wrote: »
    No regrets. See where it goes, don't expect anything, do your best.

    If things are "right" with her, you won't even miss all that one night stand/playing the field stuff. And if you don't see where this leads you will regret it in the future. It sounds like she's got a lot going for her and if you don't snap her up, someone else will .

    Serphimera on
    And then I voted.
  • Black IceBlack Ice Charlotte, NCRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So basically you're saying: This is a girl you want to be in a serious relationship with. The trouble is, if you don't take her up on it now, you pretty much lose your chance with her forever. aren't ready for a relationship this serious yet. You want to have some more one night stands and have no obligations and responsibilities because of a girlfriend. Unfortunately it seems that no one else in this topic has truly understood what you're saying, or I'm interpreting your post incorrectly.

    Let me phrase my answer like this.. the girl is apparently pretty great. You asked her out while you were high. I guess you weren't too high if she didn't seem to notice..or care.

    If I were you? I'd go with it. I think one-night stands and all of what you're saying you do are taxing mentally. I also seem to have a type of conscience that few others do; I'm a firm believer in abstinence (Read this FoxNews article published yesterday for anyone interested) and to be totally honest your position only reaffirms my stance on it. Because you're worrying about sex, there's the possibility you'll lose the "girl of your dreams."

    tl;dr/conclusion: Looking at it from the "girl of your dreams" standpoint (my opinions aside), I'd say drop the ideas on sex with other girls. It's something you have to deal with if you want to be with her. In 20 years from now, if you look back on this girl and think to yourself "That was an opportunity I never had again; I just missed it because I was thinking about the easiest thing for me to do - not have the responsibility of a girlfriend," you could have some serious regrets. Maybe she was the one and you missed the opportunity: Don't take that chance, go for her now.

    Black Ice on
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Well we're going out this Thursday. Wish me luck, or something.
    And thanks, especially to Black Ice, for the help.

    MrBallbaggins on
    Preacher wrote: »
    Something tells me this story ends up with Ballbaggins fucking his house again.
  • EWomEWom Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I met the girl of my dreams while doing the same bullshit one night stand stuff.
    Over a year later, we're still happily together, and getting ready to move in with each other (soon as leases allow us). So my advice would obviously be to go with her, with the idea that you'll probably have some fun. And see where that takes you.

    EWom on
    Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
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