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Escaping the USA?
Decatus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi everyone,
I've been around the boards for years, lurking in various threads and I know some of ya'll from various games and whatnot, so I know you're a bunch of kind and helpful people.
My wife (T) and I are at a crossroads, and we could use some advice.
T and I were both born and raised in the Central Valley of California - her father is a Dutch immigrant, her mother was a member of the US Air force (the met in The Netherlands, both of them were in marching band). My parents are from San Jose, and moved to the Valley when they had my brother and I because the cost of living was far cheaper. While the area was decent when we were kids, the Valley has become a fairly unfriendly place. We have a huge drug and gang problem, homelessness is a massive issue in our area, we have large amounts of white supremacy and racism, and due to real estate investment we can't afford to go anywhere else in California. Honestly, we don't want to - the societal issues that have become highly apparent in the US have been bothering us for years now, and the government's (failed) response to COVID-19 was really the last nail in the coffin - we want out.
We took a trip to The Netherlands last year to see her family, and also spent time in Belgium (Bruges & Brussels) and Luxembourg. We very much enjoyed our time in Europe, and started to consider moving. We did reach out to the Dutch Embassy to check if T still had dual citizenship, but unfortunately her EU passport had expired after 10 years (it had been renewed for her 18th birthday, but she'd forgotten about it); the real irony is that we were only a few months too late - her birthday is in the fall, and we reached out to the Dutch government early this year. If we had been smart enough to think about this before our trip last year, it would have been a breeze to renew her passport and EU citizenship.
Our parents aren't rich, and neither are we; I'd say we're comfortably middle class, but only because we don't have (or want, at this point anyway) any children. We do have a quite comfortable "rainy day" fund, which will continue to grow if we don't change anything major in our standard of living. We own our home, which we purchased back in 2016. Current market estimates say that we would have approximately $70,000 in equity at this point, though I'd have to double check that as we did refinance recently to drop the PMI from our mortgage. I do have approximately $6000 in student loans at the moment, but we're aiming to have those paid off by summer - we've already paid off around $10,000 this school year. We have no other outstanding debts.
We have three cats, who are the only family we'd be taking with us. Taking our cats is non-negotiable; my wife and I view pet ownership as adoption, and we have a duty to our kitties to take care of them and give them long, full, lovely lives.
So, the question is: Where in the world should we move?
The Netherlands is our #1 choice - the culture, government, public transportation, cost of living, and the fact that T has family there are all points in it's favor. We visited Amsterdam, Utrecht, Delft, and some other smaller towns that I can't remember the names of. We really loved Delft, but Amsterdam and Utrecht were very interesting cities, and much nicer than the large cities we're used to (Sacramento, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and so on). Plus, living in Europe would be dope as hell, and would make traveling very easy (we love to travel). The problem is I'm not exactly sure if I'd be able to get a job there as a teacher of English - so far I haven't been able to get a definitive answer from the government (it's not like there's a pandemic happening or anything).
We're absolutely open to suggestions though, and I'd appreciate any input you may have. Also, if you've taken a huge leap like we're considering, how did that go? How did you line up a job in a new country, and move?
Some specific details that may be useful:
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and for any help or advice you might be able to give. Let me know if any other details are needed.
I've been around the boards for years, lurking in various threads and I know some of ya'll from various games and whatnot, so I know you're a bunch of kind and helpful people.
My wife (T) and I are at a crossroads, and we could use some advice.
T and I were both born and raised in the Central Valley of California - her father is a Dutch immigrant, her mother was a member of the US Air force (the met in The Netherlands, both of them were in marching band). My parents are from San Jose, and moved to the Valley when they had my brother and I because the cost of living was far cheaper. While the area was decent when we were kids, the Valley has become a fairly unfriendly place. We have a huge drug and gang problem, homelessness is a massive issue in our area, we have large amounts of white supremacy and racism, and due to real estate investment we can't afford to go anywhere else in California. Honestly, we don't want to - the societal issues that have become highly apparent in the US have been bothering us for years now, and the government's (failed) response to COVID-19 was really the last nail in the coffin - we want out.
We took a trip to The Netherlands last year to see her family, and also spent time in Belgium (Bruges & Brussels) and Luxembourg. We very much enjoyed our time in Europe, and started to consider moving. We did reach out to the Dutch Embassy to check if T still had dual citizenship, but unfortunately her EU passport had expired after 10 years (it had been renewed for her 18th birthday, but she'd forgotten about it); the real irony is that we were only a few months too late - her birthday is in the fall, and we reached out to the Dutch government early this year. If we had been smart enough to think about this before our trip last year, it would have been a breeze to renew her passport and EU citizenship.
Our parents aren't rich, and neither are we; I'd say we're comfortably middle class, but only because we don't have (or want, at this point anyway) any children. We do have a quite comfortable "rainy day" fund, which will continue to grow if we don't change anything major in our standard of living. We own our home, which we purchased back in 2016. Current market estimates say that we would have approximately $70,000 in equity at this point, though I'd have to double check that as we did refinance recently to drop the PMI from our mortgage. I do have approximately $6000 in student loans at the moment, but we're aiming to have those paid off by summer - we've already paid off around $10,000 this school year. We have no other outstanding debts.
We have three cats, who are the only family we'd be taking with us. Taking our cats is non-negotiable; my wife and I view pet ownership as adoption, and we have a duty to our kitties to take care of them and give them long, full, lovely lives.
So, the question is: Where in the world should we move?
The Netherlands is our #1 choice - the culture, government, public transportation, cost of living, and the fact that T has family there are all points in it's favor. We visited Amsterdam, Utrecht, Delft, and some other smaller towns that I can't remember the names of. We really loved Delft, but Amsterdam and Utrecht were very interesting cities, and much nicer than the large cities we're used to (Sacramento, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and so on). Plus, living in Europe would be dope as hell, and would make traveling very easy (we love to travel). The problem is I'm not exactly sure if I'd be able to get a job there as a teacher of English - so far I haven't been able to get a definitive answer from the government (it's not like there's a pandemic happening or anything).
We're absolutely open to suggestions though, and I'd appreciate any input you may have. Also, if you've taken a huge leap like we're considering, how did that go? How did you line up a job in a new country, and move?
Some specific details that may be useful:
- I'm a fully credentialed Single Subject (English Language Arts) Teacher in California. This school year is my 4th as a teacher; I've worked in education for 6 years though, and love the field.
- I currently teach at a high school - I prefer working with students who are a bit older.
- I have a Bachelors degree in Philosophy, with a focus on logic and rhetoric.
- I am 30 years old (in May, but it's close enough); T will be 29 this year.
- I don't have any particular connections left at home; my Grandmother was the last family I was really close to, and she died a few years back.
- My wife has a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice, with a focus on legal studies
- She has a background in corrections, but wants out - she's recently finished up studying to be qualified as Veterinary Technician, and she has started applying for various legal clerk positions, but she's open to other ideas as well.
- We are both fully fluent in English (duh), and we both understand some Spanish due to living in the Valley. I am working on learning Dutch - it's pretty fun, honestly.
- I'm considered a "hardcore lefty," in the USA. T is slightly more conservative than I in a few issues (criminal justice, mostly) but is also quite far left for the US.
- We would like to live somewhere that is more aligned with our ideals: strong social programs, universal healthcare, a movement toward green energy, strong public transportation systems, and a lack of corporate welfare are some issues that are important to us.
- We're tired of the heat - somewhere a bit cooler would be nice. The average temperature during the summer is 114 F (45 C), which is goddamn absurd. Also maybe rain? We've lived in drought pretty much our entire lives.
- We are willing to literally sell everything and move to start a new life.
- I really like lists, apparently.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and for any help or advice you might be able to give. Let me know if any other details are needed.
PSN: decatus90
Decatus on
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A lot of this is generalization, though. It really does depend upon where you intend to go and what you have to bring to the table. A lawyer who specializes in such things can also help you navigate this decision and figure out how to make the process as painless as possible. Ultimately you will need one on the other side to get through all the associated paperwork even if you manage to get to your destination without help (and I would caution against doing so since showing up with a tourist visa while intending to stay longer is a HUGE no-no in most circumstances and will actively work against your case).
I don't want to diminish your desire to move or make you feel as though it's an insurmountable challenge - but I do think you need to go in with your eyes open. The types of countries that you have expressed a desire to move to are seeing a massive surge in interest in U.S. emigration ever since the results of the 2016 election, and I don't think recent events have done anything to tamper those desires. At one point, the Canadian immigration site went down due to too much traffic. And perhaps rightly so, most such nations don't think that U.S. citizens are in desperate need of special immigration status but are themselves interested in prioritizing the less fortunate who didn't have the bad luck of living in an unbelievably wealthy democracy full of absolute dumbfuck morons.
U.S. citizens generally have an easier time moving to countries with (perhaps, arguably) less "progressive" governments/cultures but a significantly lower cost of living. This usually comes with a corresponding increase in the amount of poverty and socioeconomic disparity (e.g., the Philippines).
Just so this post doesn't end in a Debbie Downer thought - look up Costa Rica. I think you may find it interesting.
I would recommend selecting countries where teaching is a high need profession. But again if you don't teach in the native language you'll will be limited to English teaching jobs or working at international / expat schools which actually might be a good avenue to look at.
Many EU countries require certifications and papers that are required for each profession so you will need those as well. Also neither of you hold a professional degree so you may be on very strict working visas. Are you prepared to drop everything and move back to the US if you lose your job? Do you have the finances to support that?
There are a lot of hard decisions to think about. It isn't impossible but it's challenging in your situation.
Just because a passport expires doesn’t mean you are no longer a citizen, unless the Netherlands has some very strange laws.
Per https://www.dualcitizenship.com/countries/netherlands.html
I did look into Costa Rica a bit though, and it seems very interesting. The sources I found did mention that they do seem to need and want natively fluent English teachers, which is great news for my career. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of living somewhere tropical though - I'm really more of a gloomy weather person and I've lived in the heat for 30 years.
Like Inquisitor said, one of the reasons we're mainly looking at the Netherlands is because my wife can pretty easily regain her citizenship as long as we can actually live there for a year, and that would give me a much easier road to citizenship as well. I'll speak with her about possibly reaching out to an immigration lawyer to look into the issue of her passport expiration, but from what I've been able to find the Dutch government is unlikely to budge due to it being so easy for her to regain citizenship should we move.
I do know that it would be extremely difficult to move, though, and I do appreciate ya'll trying to make sure we'd be going into this with our eyes open.
Basically, the first step is my being able to find a job - none of this will get off the ground unless I can land a contract for at least a year. Then, I'd likely move first and find a home to buy - the laws surrounding foreigners buying homes in the Netherlands are really fairly lax and property prices aren't outrageous at all (though maybe that's just because I'm used to CA prices for everything?). I've been doing a lot of looking online, and I've been able to find plenty of places we would be able to afford in the smaller towns that are close enough to Amsterdam, the Hague, or Rotterdam which seem to be the places I might be able to find a job.
- I'm fully aware that we wouldn't be moving into anything like the home we live in now, but we've talked it over and we're both completely fine with downsizing - honestly we'd be thrilled not to need cars any longer and to be able to commute via bike or public transport, and neither of us really have any desire for a large home, yard, or land, so typical American style homes are somewhat of a waste on us.
While I'd be working to secure housing, she'd be working on selling our house and other large items here in CA - honestly, even in a "meh" marker our house would likely sell within a few weeks, properties in our area at this price range go VERY quickly. We've looked into several services that could help us move our pets, though we aren't exactly sure how they work or what they'd charge (it's on the list of things to look into). Once our house and large items sold, she'd fly over with her clothes and whatnot. We aren't planning on bringing any large items with us, so we'll have to have enough money to at least somewhat comfortably outfit a new house. If I'm able to land a year contract, she could get a job doing just about anything really for that year, and move into a more professional setting once she regains her citizenship.I'm also curious about trying to apply for various graduate level programs at Dutch universities, but my wife isn't sure if we'd be able to afford to move as students - has anyone done something like that, or does it sound completely insane for what we'd need to do?
This was actually what I was about to recommend - most EU universities give PhD students a stipend, which is usually enough to live on comfortably outside the more expensive areas. It's not like the US where graduate school often means massive debt.
Pros:
- you will need to be accepted by a lab or institute as a grad student, but this is a much lower bar than getting a company to sponsor you for a visa.
- you will gain additional credentials which will then make you more employable locally once you graduate.
Cons:
- there may be language requirements for the program (though most places in NL/DE will teach in English, they sometimes require local language proficiency, depending on the department or university)
- transferring from a student visa to a work visa may require you to return to the US for a period, but not if your wife has sorted her citizenship by then.
(sources: I am an Australian citizen who has worked in Germany, the UK, and now the US, mostly in universities. I have several friends who moved from the US to Germany to do graduate degrees and they were comfortable financially even with small children. I also have other friends who used their undergrad credentials to teach English at local language schools - this worked out ok for most of them but could be more of a hassle w.r.t. visas and they were dependent on the school having their shit together, a lot of them only stuck it out for a year or two, or transitioned to teaching at a university instead).
If you already know roughly where you want to go, then a more targeted method is to look at department and research websites of the universities in the region - often there will be easily accessible lists of current vacancies (eg Utrecht https://www.uu.nl/en/organisation/phd-programmes) , though other times you might have to dig a little to look at the pages of individual professors and groups. As a heads up, because people don't always realise - it's perfectly normal to write to the faculty member responsible for a particular PhD opening and ask for more info, what they expect in terms of background, etc.
Also - looking at some of the postings, is it generally a requirement to have a Masters before applying for a Doctoral position? I guess that makes sense, but for some reason I was under the (mistaken?) impression that you could go from a Bachleors into a PhD.
I'm also assuming that postings are going to be somewhat rare this time of year, at least if it's anything like working in lower levels of education. Are openings usually posted during one particular time of year, or does it just depend on the university?
As for teaching, you'll also probably need a masters/equivalent to teach at a high school level. If you are going for international schools (which may be a good choice) teaching, look into whether you need TEFL certification, or stuff like that.
It will probably be pretty tricky to find work at high school+ level without a masters in English, though. But again, it will depend on the country, and is worth looking into.
I'm not exactly sure how that would translate into further graduate work though, but it could be interesting to move into the research side of the world of education, instead of working with proto-humans and their parents.
I'll have to contact them and see about application deadlines - it would be ideal to start this fall if possible.
I agree on this. While the rules seem pretty clear as quoted by Inquisitor77 the possible upside is too good to ignore, at the very least contact the Dutch embassy and talk to them. Not only would a Dutch passport making many things easier right away, but it would also help open doors should you find that maybe somewhere else in the EU desirable (EU citizens are free to go where ever in the EU, one can even bring unemployment pay into another country).
I found this text on on a government website (the bold is high light is mine):
"Do you hold another nationality besides Dutch? If so, you could risk losing your Dutch nationality if you do not apply for a new Dutch passport or identity card or a Dutch nationality certificate before the validity period (10 years) expires."
https://government.nl/topics/identification-documents/passports-identity-cards-and-dutch-nationality-certificates/applying-for-a-dutch-passport-abroad
Also see this - note there is link to a contact form for questions.
https://netherlandsworldwide.nl/countries/united-states/living-and-working/renewing-your-dutch-nationality-certificate
Now generally on getting work. Right now there is chaos, but if we ignore that then things was pretty great in most of the Northern part of the EU ie. pretty much the Netherlands and northwards. It is still really early to call anything for sure and this is just based on Denmark where I live, but it does start to look like we will come out the other side fairly okay with the big question really being what is gonna go down when it comes to exports. Like fx. our biggest customer in value is the US with Germany a close second, if the US is in a bad way it will hurt exports for sure which then will cost jobs...
Now I am not in the know of details, but I would expect the Netherlands to also come out one the other side okay. Only again it is still really early to say what it all means.
PS. Just as the Netherlands we also have lots of bicycles and a funny language, so we might be an alternative to look into.
My wife is going to reach out to the embassy again this week; looking at the email she sent in last time she was strictly asking about the status of her passport and, knowing how literal many Dutch folks are, I'm not surprised they addressed that question and simply moved on.
However! We found some information that says, basically, she should 100% have Dutch citizenship as her father was a Dutch citizen when she was born. So, she's going to check in on that. Interestingly, if she IS in fact a Dutch citizen already then my path to citizenship is very simple - the laws we were able to find on the government websites say all I have to do is be married to a Dutch citizen for 3 years, and the country of residence doesn't matter at all.
So, that's the current plan. I'm looking into various Masters programs here (with our current income we can very comfortably afford the tuition, so I won't have to take out any additional loans) in order to become a more qualified candidate for either graduate level work, or to keep teaching at the high school level in the EU. T is looking into the question of her citizenship status, and we'll hopefully be on the road to immigration sometime soon. Assuming the USA doesn't implode soon, anyway. Which...well, is more likely than it should be, but I guess we'll find out.
Have you considered a kid of half-way step? Moving to a Dutch territory for period of time to establish citizenship and Dutch work history? Might be an easier, smaller move, but could also incur the cost of another move down the line should you choose to go on to the Netherlands.
Also, I know there are restrictions on getting universal healthcare as an immigrant; my own health conditions preclude me from joining Dutch healthcare as an immigrant (which is the point where I stopped looking -- I've had similar thoughts as you two), but as you research, be prepared to buy private insurance for some period of time.
Finally, as I understand it, Germany has some very good academic programs, many are taught largely in English, and... there was a third thing that now I'm drawing a blank on. But someone else mentioned Germany upthread, so so just consider this as a second to their advice. Oh! The third thing was that German universities are free! That was it! I'm not sure that would pertain to people who are still foreign citizens, or in all cases, but if you all can work the timing, it's possible to move forward with your academics without it breaking your bank any further.
EDIT:
https://www.germany-visa.org/immigration-residence-permit/immigration-germany/
Germany is certainly an interesting idea though, and something we'll definitely have to look into. I'm not sure if moving as a student is feasible though - we're probably going to have to buy a home because of our pets, so not having a steady income when moving would be very difficult.
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Just a few observations:the prices you see on houses on Funda are currently not what they're going for. It is a very competitive market with a terrible shortage of homes, so treat the listed price as the starting point of an auction. Renting is also weird with some pretty big price hikes in the last years and is also very competitive. If your wife has family here that you can stay with then that would really give you a leg up.
Work for an international School can be good, I have met a bunch of teachers of the American School in Wassenaar and it is honestly one of the most beautiful and best schools in the world with students who get a lot of opportunities to excel. They pay well too, so they have no trouble finding teachers. There are more international schools and bilingual schools out there that are maybe easier to get into. I think previous experience with International Baccalaureate would be great in order to get in. I did find the culture in international schools a bit awkward, a lot of expat kids from the international upper class and families who are disinterested in the country they live in.
I'm not sure if any of her family would have a room we could crash in for a while - we're mostly keeping the idea of moving to ourselves (at her request) until we can get more of the details ironed out. From what I remember, the family we visited lived around Maartensdijk, Nederhorst den Berg, and her cousin has a small apartment in Amsterdam with her boyfriend.
While Maartensdijk and Nederhorst den Berg were beautiful, they weren't the most practical places - we had to get rides from family to go out that way, from what they said the public transit wasn't great in their particular areas. Or they didn't trust us to not get lost on the bus, that could also be it.
I've been looking into the international schools - it seems like they're mostly in Amsterdam, the Hague, and Rotterdam, which is fine, but then we'd run into the housing problem. They all generally require a Masters degree as well, at least from what I've been able to see, which is going to be much easier to obtain here in the States compared to moving as a student.
Edit: Oh, this is probably a silly question but I'm super curious. Is there any rhyme or reason for a word to be "de" or "het"? I'm mostly just trying to memorize at this point, but I can't remember de/het for anything.
Haha, no not really.
If it's a gendered word, it's de - if it's grammatically neuter, het. So if a word refers to a person, it's usually gendered and thus de. For other words that explanation doesn't really help, because the way we tell those apart is by asking if it's a de/het word. There may be some etymological sense to it, but ehh, I wouldn't know it.
Fork, spoon (vork, lepel): de
Knife (mes): het
???
Some exceptions to the lol, randomness:
- Plural is always de.
- The diminutive suffix (-je or -tje) makes it a het word. (A little boy or girl is neuter. Grammatically anyway.)
If neither one of you can find a decent paying job here then I'm not even sure you can get a rental place, landlords ask for proof of income (usually 3x monthly rent) and racist jerks are everywhere who wouldn't want to rent to foreigners. Buying a home often requires a loan (hypotheek), but you can't get one without a steady income. I'm sorry, The Netherlands is not an easy place to migrate to at all. I think most expats moved here with their company sponsoring them and only decided to stay after working for a few years.
So as I understand it, your wife held dual citizenship, but lost her netherlands citizenship due to not renewing her passport within 10 years (which seems to be the main way the dutch government handles dual citizens not living in the netherlands declaring they still wish to remain a citizen - most EU/EEC countries have alike rules, where you have to in some way assert you still wish to remain a citizen after x amount of years, when you're not living in the country)
https://ind.nl/en/dutch-citizenship/Pages/Loss-and-the-revoking-of-Dutch-nationality.aspx
The latter seems by far the easiest and shortest, as one year of residency is very short, as these things go:
(the wording is deliberate; this is not the same as a permanent residency permit)
the most relevant "non-temporary purpose" is simply having paid employment.
And it's important to note that student permits are temporary. Generally speaking across the EU, student permits don't count for permanent residency and/or citizenship.
Her backup plan was to just move back in with her parents if it wouldn't work out. Really great people's person and very confident despite growing up in rural Oz and being bullied by the local farm kids.
Obviously didn't come with 3 cats and she was willing to take big risks with her savings and with her career.
Since you're an english teacher I would recommend keeping an eye on International schools in Europe. There is always at least some demand for english teachers with english as their native language.
Here in Sweden for example we have IES (Internationella Engelska Skolan/International English School) who are actively recruiting teachers from US and Commonwealth countries.
https://engelska.se/careers/introduction-ies
Sweden isn't the Netherlands, but it's:
It's MUCH easier to get your foot inside Fortress Europe on a work visa, and your "I teach English language and it's my native language" is one of your strongest cards. The other being your wifes native roots in the Netherlands.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Looking at the IES schools, their requirements seem to be quite reasonable - a Bachelors with a teaching certification is "good enough" for them, though I'm sure a Masters degree won't hurt at all. @Fiendishrabbit - I've spoken to a few Swedes before, but never extensively. Do you have any recommendations for resources I could take a look at to get an idea of a "typical" life in Sweden?
@Bliss 101 - I don't really know anything about Finland, to be honest. As far as I'm aware, you're actually the first Finn I've had the pleasure of speaking with. I have the same basic question for you as I did Fiendish, if you don't mind - could you point me toward some resources to look into regarding "typical" Finnish life?
That will also be true for international schools. The international baccalaureate, for example, will be part of a typical high school and pull from their pool of teachers.
This may wary from country to country, so I don't know specifically what international schools in Sweden require. Though, the younger the students, the less likely it will be that you can realistically teach without speaking the language. They'll all be quite good at English, but it would be super tricky to make it work realistically. So, the best bet is still to actually check whether your particular education gives you access to anything, and if not, to consider a master's in a subject - while keeping in mind that it will be hard without speaking the language (easier depending on international schools, but you'll still meet student there that aren't fluent in English, from experience).
When you settle on a country, like the Netherlands, it would be useful to have someone check up on actual hiring needs for teachers. Denmark has a massive surplus of teachers, and some parts of the country are basically at a "fuck you" level of hiring unless you have a particularly desirable combination of subjects
GETTING IN
Getting into Scandinavia
Getting into Scandinavia can be tough, but getting a work-VISA if you have special skills (like you do) if you have a company that wants you to come to sweden and work. Super easy. And since you have a work, then your wife will have an easy time getting in as well. But if you didn't have particular skills, like if you were a welder with no rare specialities. Much tougher.
CULTURE
How do I Swede
https://sweden.se/ is a pretty good resource.
Note that if you search for "working in Sweden" you might find https://workinginsweden.se. It's generally useful, but if you look at Teacher and see the requirements...don't get discouraged. Only some of those apply to teachers working with IES (who are working under a Swiss educational charter if I remember it right), and if you apply to an IES school they will help you with the necessary paperwork, including work permits, appliyng for a social security number etc.
You can also look up "living in sweden" on youtube. Most of it is pretty accurate, but the intervieweees are mostly university students and their experiences are based on university life.
Da Government
Note that Sweden is superbureaucratic (you'll be registered, have a personal identification number that pretty much every authority or bank will ask you for etc), but it's also pretty chill about it. Government agencies are helpful and interacting with a government agency is generally quite painless (except the Unemployment agency. Fuck those guys).
The people
Swedish culture is at the same time both very casual* and very reserved. If you want to know people and not be a stranger in a strange land you need to do something that requires socialization (because socializing just because is very un-swedish). Typicly over social hobbies or stuff like bicycle clubs or something like that (WARNING: Being a member of a bicycle club requires the ability to wear neon and tight pants and not die from shame. Bicycle clubs are also slightly cult-like in Sweden. A lot of social activities can get kinda cult-like, although not as cult-like as Bicycle clubs, because when Swedish people do stuff we tend to get serious).
Being a teacher
Swedish teachers are normally pretty casual (used to be different, although the last of the old guard retired around 30 years ago when I was a kid), although IES are way less casual than most. In IES usually teachers are adressed as Mr/Ms (although you can choose if you want to be adress by your first name or surname). Which is practically unheard of in a normal swedish school where everyone is on first name basis (although don't let the kids ever use a nickname. That's a level of familiarity that will backfire if you ever try it).
Dressing to an appropriate level for an IES teacher can be a bit of a challenge the first time you visit.
This is your average group of Swedish teachers
This could be your IES collegues
The inofficial dresscode at your IES school could be anywhere in between. When I substituted at an IES school I wore black jeans and very neat, stern and freshly ironed shirt. None of my collegues wore both jacket&tie (it was either tie&shirt, shirt&jacket or something more casual).
ECONOMY
Renting
Swedish landlords are kinda pet friendly. On the downside, rental apartments are expensive. While a short term rental would be fine for the first year or so you'd be much better off looking for a "bostadsrätt" (apartments belonging to a housing cooperative) to buy yourself into for long-term investment. Owning a bostadsrätt is generally not much more complicated than renting an apartment, and the fees of a good bostadsrätt are MUCH lower. It does take capital though. By swedish law 15% comes out of your own pocket. Money that you do get back when you sell the bostadsrätt, and the fees+interest on loan are usually so much lower than a rental that within 2-3 years you'll have your 15% back AND value of owning your own bostadsrätt.
Wife&Economy&"Can we live on a single wage?" info.
Workinginsweden.se will probably be quite helpful for your wife, since while getting into sweden wouldn't be hard for her (with you having a job and the two of you being married), getting a job with a foreign criminal justice degree or a foreign vetrinarians assistant certification is...tougher.
On the upside. Education, since she would have a temporary residence permit that's not a study permit, is free. Free in that there are no tuition fees. She'd have to get the necessary course literature (which range between $100-$500 USD for a term depending on the subject) and most certifications require a working knowledge in Swedish (but those classes are also free or free-ish)
However, a teacher in Sweden usually makes enough money that you can live in a decent apartment (by Swedish standards) and still live comfortably as long as you work full time (which is a 45 hour workweek for a teacher. Normal workweek is 40 hours in Sweden, but teachers have longer workdays since they have a longer vacation. 3 months of paid vacation per year, although you have very limited rights to pick which weeks since they follow the school year).
Living in a single-income household though would probably mean "no car" Owning a car is expensive. About 5 times as expensive per month as a 30-day public transportation pass (and public transportation is good over here) to the point that both you and your wife could have public transportation passes AND you could rent a car for a day every two weeks and it would still be cheaper. Generally you don't need a car if you live in the city. A bike on the other hand is often very necessary, and most cities are very bike friendly.
Overall you would have to prioritize until you have a 2-income household (so if you want house, I know a lot of US people do, that would have to wait for a few years). But it's seriously a feasible plan.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
International Baccalaureate works the same way in Norway - we had IB classes in my high school, and it was organizationally part of the public school system with all the same requirements for teachers - requiring a master's degree in specifically high school teaching, and norwegian fluency. I don't know what it's like getting a foreign education accepted, but I imagine it's complicated. Norwegian fluency is a hard requirement.
But the International Schools are private high schools that don't require norwegian fluency, and looking at job postings, they usually demand "just" a master's degree in teaching from anywhere and usually a couple years of experience. And their turnaround for teachers is quite high, they say.
Expats teaching expats, kind of thing.
also, correction on what I said earlier about student permits: Student permits don't generally count for amount of years you need to stay to get permanent residency or citizenship - but I forgot to mention (both in the Netherlands and Norway) that you'll be able to get a permit to stay to look for work after completing your studies. So studying in the EU is an option to get in.
EDIT: as an aside, ballpark measure for pay as a high school teacher is, starting year, 450'000 USD (Ballpark because International Schools aren't beholden to the public salary schemes so I couldn't tell you exactly what you'd be making, but.)
especially the thing about being on first names. I think I'm one of the last generations that remember ever calling their teacher Frøken, in third grade she just became Katrine. I don't know the surname of a single teacher I ever had.
There is likewise no tuition, but international students don't get student loans so you need to find a way to finance your living expenses yourself. International students on student visas can have part time work.
Anyway about international schools, these are the current job postings for one I pulled at semi-random just to look at their requirements (the international school of stavanger, where I'm from - the oil business is centered in Stavanger and so the amount of expats there is quite high)
https://isstavanger.no/?page_id=368
Honestly, if we're able to immigrate somewhere that we can live on my salary and that has free tuition for colleges, I'd be 100% happy to have T go back to school and earn a new degree so she could get a job she'd be happy with in our new home.
@chrishallett83 Things I know about New Zealand: It's beautiful. It is, in fact, a place that exists and stupid map makers sometimes forget to put it on the map. It's kinda by Australia. The government seems to respond well when something horrid happens to it's people. I want to say they passed more stringent gun control last year because of a mass shooting? That's...really it, honestly. Oh, wait, no - it's relatively sparsely populated, according to Wikipedia. From five minutes of research, housing would be an issue - the internet says foreigners can't buy homes in New Zealand, so we'd have to try and rent with our animals. =(
The path to citizenship in NZ is nowhere near as draconian and punitive as it is in the US, and you don't even have to go that far, permanent residents can buy property.
Rental laws are slightly different across scandinavia, but in Sweden landlords are actually not allowed to put "no pets" on the contract unless the entire building is allergenic-rated (which most buildings aren't, because you have to fulfill some pretty harsh demands). Nuisance complaints are a thing though. So loud noises at night (which is generally defined as after 22.00 and before 06.00), the smell of cat urine in common areas (like the stairwell) etc. Luckily houses are also built pretty sturdy and double-pane windows is standard, so your cat would have to be pretty loud to generate a noise complaint. So generally for a cat owner odor-neutralization is generally the key.
It's not until you get to "exotic pets" that Sweden becomes...more of a hassle. Most forms of exotic pets are not allowed, and those that are require a special license from the environmental agency.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Sorry it took me so long to get back to this, I got busy and then kind of managed to forget.
Generally everything Fiendishrabbit posted about Sweden also applies to The Socialist Utopia of Finland. The Finnish society has basically used Sweden as a template since World War II, and even before that, and today the societies are remarkably similar. Like Sweden, Finland relies heavily on regulations and bureaucracy, and I think we're slightly less chill about it, but it's all electronic and easy to navigate. The main differences are cultural. Compared to us, swedes are very social and outgoing. Finland is one of the few countries in the world where introversion is basically the social norm. So if you really like your personal space, come to Finland. Otherwise Sweden might be easier to adjust to. Most people I've met who have moved here from other countries have said that for a while they felt like their presence somehow offended everyone here, because we instinctively step back from anyone who approaches us, and we generally don't spontaneously talk to people for no reason. But eventually they adjusted, and those uncomfortable silences became comfortable silences.
For Sweden. Tough. Very tough. Like, near impossible to break into from outside the system. A masters degree in library and information science or the equivalent is practically mandatory. You're also pretty much required a secondary specialization in litterature, communication or pedagogy (librarian vs children's librarian) and some experience working with swedish library systems.
P.S: Only a finn would call swedes "social and outgoing".
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden