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the dream cast

Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache lifeRegistered User regular
edited September 2020 in Social Entropy++
if you had to cast the sitcom friends with six different portrayals of a dracula, who would you choose?

which dracula is your chandler, your phoebe, etc?

show your work.

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Rorshach Kringle on
A Dabble Of Theloniussarukun
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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I have seen absolutely no Friends episodes and barely remember their names so this sounds like an ideal exercise

    Chandler as The Count because he sounds like he's kind of a nerd maybe and now he can be a nerd who counts things incessantly.

    Phoebe as Morticia Adams because I don't remember any female Draculas and this is the closest thing.

    Danny Devito as Fred the Vampire Accountant, because he definitely seems like a nerd but a nerd who's actually doing something productive and I'm not actually sure if Danny Devito is in Friends or not I might be mixing it up with a different show.

    Ross as Alucard from Hellsing because he's the largest of the Friends and Alucard is one tall bastard.

    Rachel as Alucard from Castlevania because she can fight and he's pretty good at that along with shit talking Belmont.

    Monica as Dr. Alucard from that one Batman series because I know nothing about her and I know nothing about that series so clearly this is perfect.

  • UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    joey is when troy from community dressed up as a dracula for halloween

    rachel is a dracula from twilight

    phoebe is a dracula from what we do in the shadows

    monica is a dracula from true blood

    ross is a dracula from the book dracula

    chandler is a dracula from buffy the vampire slayer

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

    XehalusRingoJoolander
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    i fear people are not taking this seriously

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Captain Inertia
  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    i'm really interested in modding a dreamcast to output hdmi

    so far i've already bricked one with poor soldering skills

    zkHcp.jpg
    Crippl3
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    I misunderstood the prompt on Twitter.

    Do the Draculas have to fit into the Friends cast molds?

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Everyone on Friends sucks (I will not provide citations for basic facts), so you have two options:

    1. Any random Dracula, as all Draculas suck, at a technical level - it's what they do.

    2. Dominic Purcell plays every role, as he sucks, and sucks.

    I believe I have shown my work.

    This post was sponsored by the CIA.
    Ringo
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    It was a console that was way ahead of its time.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
    RingoCrippl3Reynolds
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    I misunderstood the prompt on Twitter.

    Do the Draculas have to fit into the Friends cast molds?

    yes!

    the friends, but they are played by draculas!!!

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Why is this not about The Dreamcast

    Donovan PuppyfuckerLucedes101The Escape GoatReynolds
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Frank Langella as Joey
    Christopher Lee as Ross
    Klaus Kinski as Chandler
    Bela Lugosi as Phoebe
    Leslie Nielsen as Monica
    Max Schreck as Rachel

    i haven't watched an episode of friends in at least a decade, so i will not take questions at this time on the inaccurateness of any of the above

    Rorshach KringleZonugalJoolander
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Why is this not about The Dreamcast

    Because it's about the dream cast

    UsagiRorshach KringletynicZonugalRaijin QuickfootCaptain InertiaCelloYaYaCrippl3
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Grislo wrote: »
    Everyone on Friends sucks (I will not provide citations for basic facts), so you have two options:

    1. Any random Dracula, as all Draculas suck, at a technical level - it's what they do.

    2. Dominic Purcell plays every role, as he sucks, and sucks.

    I believe I have shown my work.

    F minus

    Rorshach KringletynicZonugalShortyRaijin Quickfoot#pipeSorce
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    why does everyone keep bringing up video games in this thread about the two best things: dracula, and the nineties sitcom "friends"???????

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Zonugal
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    why does everyone keep bringing up video games in this thread about the two best things: dracula, and the nineties sitcom "friends"???????

    tito stop stealing peoples accounts

    spono
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    I can't decide otherwise, but Ross is definitely Jack Palance's Dracula

    Rorshach Kringle
  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    I've just been sitting here trying to figure out where Prince Mamuwalde fits in

    97H9G7S.png PSN - Masked Unit | FFXIV - Laitarne Gilgamesh
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    I can't decide otherwise, but Ross is definitely Jack Palance's Dracula

    hmm I was thinking Ross is JD from Scrub's in-universe-dracula-creation Dr Akula.

    Rorshach Kringle
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    I can't decide otherwise, but Ross is definitely Jack Palance's Dracula

    hmm I was thinking Ross is JD from Scrub's in-universe-dracula-creation Dr Akula.

    Good call!

  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    The only one I feel confident on is Gary Oldman as Bram Stoker's Dracula (specifically the old man makeup version) as Ross, because he's kind of a lovesick idiot who nonetheless has way more luck with romance than he should

    Rorshach Kringle
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Hi, I'm Chandler. Could I suck any more blood?

    Captain InertiaRorshach Kringle
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    My Dream Cast

    -- Alex Winter's Marko (The Lost Boys) as Joey
    -- Adam Sandler's Count 'Drac' Dracula (Hotel Transylvania) as Ross
    -- Ian Somerhalder's Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries) as Chandler
    -- Tilda Swinton's Eve (Only Lovers Left Alive) as Phoebe
    -- Kate Beckinsale's Selene (Underworld) as Monica
    -- Deborah Ann Woll's Jessica Hamby (True Blood) as Rachel

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
    Rorshach KringleSweeney TomAtari SoulYaYa
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    Grislo wrote: »
    Everyone on Friends sucks (I will not provide citations for basic facts), so you have two options:

    1. Any random Dracula, as all Draculas suck, at a technical level - it's what they do.

    2. Dominic Purcell plays every role, as he sucks, and sucks.

    I believe I have shown my work.

    F minus

    My retake of this exam will focus on how Keith-Lee Castle from Young Dracula looks like he might enjoy a sandwich, and thus will be a good Joey.

    When that also fails, the subsequent retake will focus on how Dante Rivero's Dracula should play Ross, since he'd then have to fight Batman, and Ross has that coming.

    This post was sponsored by the CIA.
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ooh, I could go a sandwich.

  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    we got the Joey special!

    TWO NECKS!?

    Captain Inertia
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Well it cannot be Blackula

    XaquinGrisloZonugalDonovan PuppyfuckerRingoCrippl3
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    - Gary Oldman from Bram Stoker's Dracula as Ross (lovesick dweeb who is nonetheless surrounded by beautiful people)
    - Adam Sandler from Hotel Transylvania as Chandler (oversized, twitchy goofball)
    - Max Schreck from Nosferatu as Phoebe (just weird, through and through)
    - Bela Lugosi from Dracula as Rachel (the sort of person Gary Oldman's Dracula would put on a pedestal)
    - Marvel's Dracula as Monica (feels like he could fit in equally well with the comedy or drama half of the equation)

    Rorshach Kringle
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    we got the Joey special!

    TWO NECKS!?

    It's just the one neck, between some bread.

    Until KFN introduces the Double Down, where the bread is two fried necks.

    This post was sponsored by the CIA.
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Blackula can be the dude at the costume shop who said 'the armadillo suit is all we got'

    Captain Inertia
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    my dracula friends are as follows:


    judas iscariot (gerard butler), from dracula 2000, as ross
    sadie blake (lucy liu), from rise: blood hunter, as monica
    maximillian (eddie murphy), from vampire in brooklyn, as chandler
    lilith (angie everhart), from tales from the crypt presents: bordello of blood, as rachel
    nick knight (geraint win davise), from forever knight, as joey
    rose the hat (rebecca ferguson), from doctor sleep, as phoebe

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Sweeney Tom
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    okay so are we using dracula for all vampires or do we have STANDARDS here

    Rorshach Kringle
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    all vampires are draculas

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Midniterhylith#pipeMaddoc
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Are we talking about which Friends member would murder someone over a sandwich?

    Cause while you may think its Joey, it's Ross by a mile.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4eB2qW0MlA

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
    Rorshach KringleRaijin Quickfoot
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    my dracula friends are as follows:


    judas iscariot (gerard butler), from dracula 2000, as ross
    sadie blake (lucy liu), from rise: blood hunter, as monica
    maximillian (eddie murphy), from vampire in brooklyn, as chandler
    lilith (angie everhart), from tales from the crypt presents: bordello of blood, as rachel
    nick knight (geraint win davise), from forever knight, as joey
    rose the hat (rebecca ferguson), from doctor sleep, as phoebe

    I would like to declare a mistrial. A black actor as a main friend? In New York?! That is preposterous, and Kauffman & Crane are spinning in their graves.

    This post was sponsored by the CIA.
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    0jr0tgelksu3.jpg

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Shorty
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Willem Dafoe (Shadow of the Vampire) is Gunther

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    Zonugal
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    One of my favorite elements of Friends is that I think it is by far the most literary-centric sitcom ever produced.

    Not too many sitcoms have plot-lines about reading books.

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    nah

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    ZonugalReynolds
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I'm willing to hear both sides.

    MidnitecB557
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