Thank god Thanksgiving and Winter Break are coming up, because Middle Guy's ability to do remote learning is everyday turning into a bigger negative number. He's actively trying to not participate, or get out of work whenever possible (Breakfast time? Non-stop grabass with the dog. Meeting time? "*Cries* Dad, I'm starving, my tummy is empty." Or non-stop bathroom breaks. Or taking fifteen minutes of reading time to "find" a "book". Or sitting with the book shoved in his mouth instead, making wild animal noises for his classmates.
But the new fun is him either, sitting there shredding an assignment when my back is turned (now not only do I have to request or reproduce a new one, I get a new mess to clean up! And he's behind again! Hurrah!), or just straight up responding to "Dude, get your work done" by replying, "No," locking eyes with me, and giggling like a fucking Joker henchmen. I know Lockdown is a big part of it- after nine months, there's a big element of him being aware that "Yeah dad, I'm already shut in the house with you all day- *ground me, I dare you*". I mean, I was expecting that when he became a teenager, but...any advice on all of that, for a five year old? At this point, I've nearly just accepted that he'll be retaking Kindergarten, and wondering what I waste my time with everyday
With what we know of your Middle Guy I just don't think remote learning is going to work for him, full stop. He needs so much attention from you and he just completely does not cooperate. He doesn't even mind that he is having a shitty day, does he?
Do the two of you ever have fun? Like, going out and doing something that makes both of you smile?
Has the teacher given up on him? Don't they have suggestions for a way forward?
I spoke with my wife and she's feeling a lot better this week, but I know every day is different, so I'm just trying to get through day by day. It doesn't help that Chicago is a mess with Covid right now, so seeing people is definitely not happening, especially in the holiday season.
I've definitely tagged this thread as a favorite, both to get advice, and to get excited seeing all the great (and sometimes rough) experiences you're all having with your kiddos!
There are a lot of stages of pregnancy and having a kid, "oh shit I'm not sure about this having a kid thing" is pretty common and "oh shit I've got this baby in my house now what" is another. There's a lot of cool stuff too but it doesn't exactly balance the bad stuff out, it more offsets the bad stuff and once you've been through the first year of sleep deprivation-induced memory loss you'll hardly remember any of it.
1. He doesn't even mind that he is having a shitty day, does he?
2. Do the two of you ever have fun? Like, going out and doing something that makes both of you smile?
3. Has the teacher given up on him? Don't they have suggestions for a way forward?
1. Oh no, not at all! It's almost a game some days, to see just how riled up he can get me - Negative Attention > No Attention. And honestly, that's probably fair on his part! He's competing with his two brothers, a puppy, me keeping the house liveable and everyone fed, and his super sick momma (who is only good enough with the current treatments to keep up with him 2/7 days a week, and that's about to probably get worse next month)
2. We do!...but almost definitely not enough, and *without a doubt* not one-on-one enough. We have car rides with masks on hand to go take care of chores, and long walks out with the family to the Creek, and act out Dark Souls boss battles with cardboard weapons in the kitchen, and have wrestling matches in the Living Room that become "beat the hell out of Daddy"-thons...but Middle Guy probably doesn't get a lot of "hey, what's up just with just you?" time, like the Baby or Little Man specifically do. I need to work on that...and @Ketar 's suggestion of trying to go positive reinforcement, and building in small prizes, could do both, and maybe be a game-changer, so thank you both very much for the insight!
3. No, the teacher has *not* given up on him. I actually went from being very unimpressed with her back when she taught Little Man a few years back, to SUPER impressed with her this year, as she tries to teach Middle Guy. When Middle Guy only has one or two other peers to take up the teacher's attention, he fucking shines, and does everything necessary; usually knocks it out of the park! Same with his "just-one-other-kid-in-the-class" speech meetings- the one on one attention makes him actually care and focus! But the Kindergarten teacher has thirty kids in her class, and Middle Guy gets his half-hour of speech meeting once a week
0
KalnaurI See Rain . . .Centralia, WARegistered Userregular
edited November 2020
Adventures in Toby speech:
Toby has speech therapy every Tuesday. Because he 100% will not wear a mask it has to be online, and currently the therapist has been holding a tablet up to the camera, Toby taps our screen, and then we encourage him to say what the thing is that he just tapped. He says it, therapist taps it, a short video of "the thing" (cat, dog, plane, beetle, etc) plays. Well, this past Tuesday, I looked away from the screen for a moment at the exact moment that he'd tapped "the thing", and I asked "what did you tap, buddy?" and the wife said, "It was the boat."
To which Toby got an offended look on his face, whipped his head around to glare at mom, and he said to her, "Nono, Isa-ship!"
Because it was large and had three smoke stacks and looked a lot like an ocean liner/cruise ship that is, in fact, a ship. I mean, he was totally right. It was also strikingly hilarious to have our taciturn little 4 year old pedantically correct his mom.
(Note: this is now my favorite "Toby Talks" moment. The previous favorite was when I'd left the room and come back and he was on my computer and I asked him "did I say you could play on my computer?" and he looked me right in the eyes and said, "Meebee?" with an enormous grin. He's lucky he's cute. )
Kalnaur on
I make art things! deviantART:Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
1. He doesn't even mind that he is having a shitty day, does he?
2. Do the two of you ever have fun? Like, going out and doing something that makes both of you smile?
3. Has the teacher given up on him? Don't they have suggestions for a way forward?
1. Oh no, not at all! It's almost a game some days, to see just how riled up he can get me - Negative Attention > No Attention. And honestly, that's probably fair on his part! He's competing with his two brothers, a puppy, me keeping the house liveable and everyone fed, and his super sick momma (who is only good enough with the current treatments to keep up with him 2/7 days a week, and that's about to probably get worse next month)
2. We do!...but almost definitely not enough, and *without a doubt* not one-on-one enough. We have car rides with masks on hand to go take care of chores, and long walks out with the family to the Creek, and act out Dark Souls boss battles with cardboard weapons in the kitchen, and have wrestling matches in the Living Room that become "beat the hell out of Daddy"-thons...but Middle Guy probably doesn't get a lot of "hey, what's up just with just you?" time, like the Baby or Little Man specifically do. I need to work on that...and @Ketar 's suggestion of trying to go positive reinforcement, and building in small prizes, could do both, and maybe be a game-changer, so thank you both very much for the insight!
3. No, the teacher has *not* given up on him. I actually went from being very unimpressed with her back when she taught Little Man a few years back, to SUPER impressed with her this year, as she tries to teach Middle Guy. When Middle Guy only has one or two other peers to take up the teacher's attention, he fucking shines, and does everything necessary; usually knocks it out of the park! Same with his "just-one-other-kid-in-the-class" speech meetings- the one on one attention makes him actually care and focus! But the Kindergarten teacher has thirty kids in her class, and Middle Guy gets his half-hour of speech meeting once a week
Look, I'm just a dad of one, so I can't even act like I'd know exactly what you could do. But when I look at point 1 and 3 I just think y'all need some 1-on-1 help for the kids. You definitely don't want to appear to favor one kid over the other, but the current situation is so unfair. My partner got a lot of help through her GP, there were plenty of ways they could help us carry our load a little better. I think 30 is too many for a kindergarden class, Little King is currently in a class of ~20 and that's plenty.
2. Sounds great, I think @Ketar has the right of it.
+3
KalnaurI See Rain . . .Centralia, WARegistered Userregular
Toby is in a preschool class of max 5 and even then if it's more than him and another kid in "class" (online, of course), he clams the hell up and basically shrinks into a ball of "will not participate". I mean, this is also specifically a preschool class for folks like him (i.e. on the autism spectrum or any other special needs) so the kids are a lot like him in many ways and that's why it's so small. But he does much better responding to his 1-on-1 interactions with the speech therapist.
Also, as a middle kid my own self (and more or less certainly on the spectrum as well) my mom had to create carrots and reward through positive reinforcement rather than push and punish (which always has made me just shut down, still does to this day), and I also required a bit of attention so as not to be lost between "oldest sister" and "youngest brother" because it wasn't the intention, but it was easy to have happen anyways. Especially since I was far more comfortable in my own little space anyways.
I make art things! deviantART:Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
1. He doesn't even mind that he is having a shitty day, does he?
2. Do the two of you ever have fun? Like, going out and doing something that makes both of you smile?
3. Has the teacher given up on him? Don't they have suggestions for a way forward?
1. Oh no, not at all! It's almost a game some days, to see just how riled up he can get me - Negative Attention > No Attention. And honestly, that's probably fair on his part! He's competing with his two brothers, a puppy, me keeping the house liveable and everyone fed, and his super sick momma (who is only good enough with the current treatments to keep up with him 2/7 days a week, and that's about to probably get worse next month)
2. We do!...but almost definitely not enough, and *without a doubt* not one-on-one enough. We have car rides with masks on hand to go take care of chores, and long walks out with the family to the Creek, and act out Dark Souls boss battles with cardboard weapons in the kitchen, and have wrestling matches in the Living Room that become "beat the hell out of Daddy"-thons...but Middle Guy probably doesn't get a lot of "hey, what's up just with just you?" time, like the Baby or Little Man specifically do. I need to work on that...and Ketar 's suggestion of trying to go positive reinforcement, and building in small prizes, could do both, and maybe be a game-changer, so thank you both very much for the insight!
3. No, the teacher has *not* given up on him. I actually went from being very unimpressed with her back when she taught Little Man a few years back, to SUPER impressed with her this year, as she tries to teach Middle Guy. When Middle Guy only has one or two other peers to take up the teacher's attention, he fucking shines, and does everything necessary; usually knocks it out of the park! Same with his "just-one-other-kid-in-the-class" speech meetings- the one on one attention makes him actually care and focus! But the Kindergarten teacher has thirty kids in her class, and Middle Guy gets his half-hour of speech meeting once a week
Look, I'm just a dad of one, so I can't even act like I'd know exactly what you could do. But when I look at point 1 and 3 I just think y'all need some 1-on-1 help for the kids. You definitely don't want to appear to favor one kid over the other, but the current situation is so unfair. My partner got a lot of help through her GP, there were plenty of ways they could help us carry our load a little better. I think 30 is too many for a kindergarden class, Little King is currently in a class of ~20 and that's plenty.
2. Sounds great, I think Ketar has the right of it.
Yeah holy heck 30 kindergarteners is a looooooot for one class. Our school's cap out at like 15, and gradually increase as the grades go up til they're in the 30 range by middle school I thiiiiink.
Forgive the mess, his new thing is taking every toy out of its box one by one and placing them all over the place....
Hahahaha... a mess? Bless your heart! <giggle>
The livingroom right now looks like a tornado hit the toy box and a Squishmallow store.
And the Jo-Ann's fabric scraps section.
And the entire bedding section of a Sears.
I make art things! deviantART:Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
+2
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited November 2020
So... daycare starts next week! We are currently at the third of 3 “stay & play” days where you rock up and just let your baby play in the room while you’re nearby. Today was understandably tough as it was the first time I just dropped her off and went into the next room... but I also wanted to see how she’d go with being offered a bottle instead of breastfeeding her. So I left her and left a bottle of formula with the educators.
She refused the bottle and was screaming on and off for the first half hour or so (I could hear her from the room next door!). I went in to breastfeed her and she calmed down, then left again. A bit more crying, but then she quieted down. I just got an update from the educators that she’s now fine and playing, even dancing! She did refuse her lunch, which is probably because I fed her right before lunch was served. She’s normally a really good (if messy) eater.
Anyway... it looks like I’m back to pumping so that at least it’s breastmilk in the bottles, and then maybe swap to formula once she’s used to bottles again. She hasn’t had a bottle for about 4 months and now that she’s older (10 months), I think she knows the bottle means no boob.
I *really* do not enjoy pumping. The discomfort, the time, the stress when you don’t pump enough... stopping back in the day was such a relief! I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not for long, it’s only until she’s a year old and we might be able to get her to take formula before then, but still. I am not looking forward to it. Ugh.
I’m planning to see the child health nurse next week as well for some tips, but if anyone has any experience in this arena, I’d be grateful to hear any tips or thoughts.
Meanwhile - LOOK AT THIS CUTE AF SETUP I GOT FOR HER DAYCARE GEAR
The tags on the right are to label her cloth nappies and the wetbags they get stored in (green for clean, red for dirty).
Thank god Thanksgiving and Winter Break are coming up, because Middle Guy's ability to do remote learning is everyday turning into a bigger negative number. He's actively trying to not participate, or get out of work whenever possible (Breakfast time? Non-stop grabass with the dog. Meeting time? "*Cries* Dad, I'm starving, my tummy is empty." Or non-stop bathroom breaks. Or taking fifteen minutes of reading time to "find" a "book". Or sitting with the book shoved in his mouth instead, making wild animal noises for his classmates.
But the new fun is him either, sitting there shredding an assignment when my back is turned (now not only do I have to request or reproduce a new one, I get a new mess to clean up! And he's behind again! Hurrah!), or just straight up responding to "Dude, get your work done" by replying, "No," locking eyes with me, and giggling like a fucking Joker henchmen. I know Lockdown is a big part of it- after nine months, there's a big element of him being aware that "Yeah dad, I'm already shut in the house with you all day- *ground me, I dare you*". I mean, I was expecting that when he became a teenager, but...any advice on all of that, for a five year old? At this point, I've nearly just accepted that he'll be retaking Kindergarten, and wondering what I waste my time with everyday
"I'm not stuck in the house with you dad. You are stuck in here with me."
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
Fuck it, fed is best. If pumping is causing you too much hassle and stress, she'll be perfectly fine on quality formula.
Yeah I’ve got no issues with putting her on formula, I’d actually prefer it on her daycare days, but she’s refusing the bottle so at least if it’s breastmilk in the bottle for a bit it removes one variable!
Maybe try a different formula? My daughter would drink anything put in front of her. My son needed special imported brand at just the right temp.
I hated pumping, and could never get enough for a full day without formula supplementation. Kids can be stubborn and it's hard to get them what they need sometimes.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Or a different bottle. My daughter's milk consumption shot up like.... 50% instantly when we found what turned out to be the one (expensive....) brand of bottle she liked
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
She’s used these bottles before so I’m more inclined to think it’s an issue with the formula. At least if we try breastmilk in it we can narrow it down... if she takes the bottle with EBM in it then we know it’s the formula. If she refuses it, then we know it’s the bottle.
It could be both, but changing both at the same time doesn’t yield too much information.
Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
You've almost certainly already tried this, but what about a mix of half your milk, half formula to help wean her on to the formula?
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KalnaurI See Rain . . .Centralia, WARegistered Userregular
Jumping in, Toby would only take this one, specific brand of formula, and it was a semi-hard to find organic thing, 35-40 bucks a tub I swear. But he just . . . wouldn't take any other formula. He'd have just not eaten.
I make art things! deviantART:Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
I’m not qualified to talk about parenthood, but one thing you said really resonated with me, Bedigunz.
A large part of what causes people grief is worrying about what they SHOULD be feeling, and/or comparing others’ experience. Push that from your mind because your reactions are authentic reactions, by their nature.
Sure, there are negative, non-constructive ways to think about things but that is a seperate issue, to my mind.
Just from having lots of friends having babies, these mental comparisons seem to be very common and have strong emotional reactions to them
Pumping is the wooorst, I never got more than 1 oz at a time and it was arduous and painful.
If the US had decent maternity leave my kids could’ve been exclusively breastfed. But I had to supplement with formula because I literally couldn’t pump enough and I had no choice but to return to work at 11/12 weeks. And Niko refused formula anyway so he ended up not eating at all during the day from the age of 3-5 months (which is when we started him on solids)
+4
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
pumping is the worst agreed x 2. I just couldn't get my brain around it at all and my body didn't want to cooperate and the postpartum rage of "I am a human being, not a cow" was full on. plus the body not cooperating part anyways.
We started ellie on the most expensive, blinged out, gold can with all the stickers and medals on it. And she was fine. But the midwife was very much "what? no why? why are you spending so much money. use this brand it's got the same levels of vitamins and minerals, but no shiny packaging and it's $15 cheaper/can." and we did and she was fine.
Also, that little bag is amazing, Viv. I love it so much.
Putting those automatic pumps on their back and watching them go up and down with the weird noises was funny, though. Like watching very inefficient robots falling over.
But yeah, everything else about it was a punishment at the best of times.
0
Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
To present a positive experience. French Girl had a decent experience of pumping. She used to do it at work. No pain or anything and she could get on with other stuff while doing it
They make super discreet ones now too that are meant to fit inside your bra and work quietly
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
0
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
There are nights where I wish a child safe dose of Ambien or Valium or teanquilizer was a thing.
Plenty of people do respond well to pumps. Parent groups are full of people showing off their freezer stashes and several moms in the small group I was in pumped so much excess they donated a lot of it. People like me, who didn’t respond well to the pump, were definitely in the minority and it’s hard not to feel like you’re doing something wrong in that case.
+3
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited November 2020
I was fortunate enough to respond reasonably well to the pump, back when I was pumping. I was never a super pumper and very quickly left any mums groups online that had people posting photos of their stash.
For me, it was more the “sit there while strapped in”, the discomfort (it wasn’t painful, but it’s not a pleasant experience), btw don’t do anything else while you are pumping so it effectively takes time out of your already time-poor day, and all the faffing around with cleaning the pump parts.
And even though my supply was decent, you still get days where you don’t get as much as usual, which is deflating as hell.
Ugh. I’m really not looking forward to it. But if she does drink it from a bottle, we then at least know what the issue is.
My older daughter turned 10 yesterday, which means this thread series turned 10 today (or in a few days, I'm not sure). She's great, got a big Lego set from her grandma and we gave her some books and some Pokemon cards and some more Legos, and we're going to watch the original Star Wars trilogy this weekend (yes I did make her wait until now, no I'm not sorry). It's weird to think that I've had a kid for a decade and it's also weird to think that I've been hanging out with some of you in this context for that decade. I don't post as much anymore because I think this thread functions best as a source of advice and a relief valve for people and I don't really need that often, but I'm really proud of y'all and what we're doing here.
Kids! Being a parent is nuts.
+23
BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
pumping is the worst agreed x 2. I just couldn't get my brain around it at all and my body didn't want to cooperate and the postpartum rage of "I am a human being, not a cow" was full on. plus the body not cooperating part anyways.
We started ellie on the most expensive, blinged out, gold can with all the stickers and medals on it. And she was fine. But the midwife was very much "what? no why? why are you spending so much money. use this brand it's got the same levels of vitamins and minerals, but no shiny packaging and it's $15 cheaper/can." and we did and she was fine.
Also, that little bag is amazing, Viv. I love it so much.
When we learned that Sapling couldn't breast feed, we tried getting the Costco brand formula because it's way cheaper, but it gave her a bunch of digestive problems.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
pumping is the worst agreed x 2. I just couldn't get my brain around it at all and my body didn't want to cooperate and the postpartum rage of "I am a human being, not a cow" was full on. plus the body not cooperating part anyways.
We started ellie on the most expensive, blinged out, gold can with all the stickers and medals on it. And she was fine. But the midwife was very much "what? no why? why are you spending so much money. use this brand it's got the same levels of vitamins and minerals, but no shiny packaging and it's $15 cheaper/can." and we did and she was fine.
Also, that little bag is amazing, Viv. I love it so much.
When we learned that Sapling couldn't breast feed, we tried getting the Costco brand formula because it's way cheaper, but it gave her a bunch of digestive problems.
It looks like the regulations around formula are way stricter in Aus/NZ than in the US. Lots of Aussies are told that all the available formulas are pretty similar, while apparently some American ones can be bulked out with sucrose (not allowed here)!
Yeah I alway recommend that when viv is out and about without the baby to buy as many canisters as possible, but she never does.
For context, we are currently not allowed to buy more than 2 tins at a time.
This has nothing to do with COVID and everything to do with people buying them up and sending them overseas (mostly to China) either to family or to be sold on for a premium price.
Yeah I alway recommend that when viv is out and about without the baby to buy as many canisters as possible, but she never does.
For context, we are currently not allowed to buy more than 2 tins at a time.
This has nothing to do with COVID and everything to do with people buying them up and sending them overseas (mostly to China) either to family or to be sold on for a premium price.
Same in The Netherlands. Massive issue with stores being all out of baby powder whenever new shipments arrived.
0
Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Yeah I alway recommend that when viv is out and about without the baby to buy as many canisters as possible, but she never does.
For context, we are currently not allowed to buy more than 2 tins at a time.
This has nothing to do with COVID and everything to do with people buying them up and sending them overseas (mostly to China) either to family or to be sold on for a premium price.
All I'm hearing from you is "I'm not willing to use a variety of different disguises to buy two cans from the same store over and over again". Buck up your ideas! :-D
+4
MichaelLCIn what furnace was thy brain?ChicagoRegistered Userregular
Daughter had to have the super special formula, so that was always fun.
Some Walgreens had it, some did not. And if they did, they had like one or two vs the 20 of the regular kind.
And would the distilled water be with the baby stuff or with the water or with the other drinks? Who knows!
I think it was Dr. Brown bottles that we had. Light blue plastic, tall. Those worked well.
I'm really frustrated with the high school. They split the kids into two groups who each attend two days a week in person. They have half their classes for a month, then the other classes for a month and so on.
The problem is that they balanced his classes all wrong so for a month all he has is English and gym (fishing and archery). Then for a month he gets hammered with math, history, chemistry and latin.
He's in the middle of that busy month and they've decided with no parent input to add scheduled remote learning on Fridays. I'm a bit pissed, his workload is already rough because they assign so much busy work during the week. We're thinking of emailing or calling the principal as that wasn't part of the deal when we choose hybrid scheduling.
I had to ship my son's formula from an importer. He ended up liking this british formulation of a European ( German I think?) formula. Fun fact: it's technically illegal in the US because it's not FDA approved. But it was really easy to get for all of that. We tried local stuff, but he was very fussy. So we had to make sure to buy enough well ahead of time. Managed to never run out, at least.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Posts
With what we know of your Middle Guy I just don't think remote learning is going to work for him, full stop. He needs so much attention from you and he just completely does not cooperate. He doesn't even mind that he is having a shitty day, does he?
Do the two of you ever have fun? Like, going out and doing something that makes both of you smile?
Has the teacher given up on him? Don't they have suggestions for a way forward?
I spoke with my wife and she's feeling a lot better this week, but I know every day is different, so I'm just trying to get through day by day. It doesn't help that Chicago is a mess with Covid right now, so seeing people is definitely not happening, especially in the holiday season.
I've definitely tagged this thread as a favorite, both to get advice, and to get excited seeing all the great (and sometimes rough) experiences you're all having with your kiddos!
Coran Attack!
So enjoy! And don't! They're both normal!
1. Oh no, not at all! It's almost a game some days, to see just how riled up he can get me - Negative Attention > No Attention. And honestly, that's probably fair on his part! He's competing with his two brothers, a puppy, me keeping the house liveable and everyone fed, and his super sick momma (who is only good enough with the current treatments to keep up with him 2/7 days a week, and that's about to probably get worse next month)
2. We do!...but almost definitely not enough, and *without a doubt* not one-on-one enough. We have car rides with masks on hand to go take care of chores, and long walks out with the family to the Creek, and act out Dark Souls boss battles with cardboard weapons in the kitchen, and have wrestling matches in the Living Room that become "beat the hell out of Daddy"-thons...but Middle Guy probably doesn't get a lot of "hey, what's up just with just you?" time, like the Baby or Little Man specifically do. I need to work on that...and @Ketar 's suggestion of trying to go positive reinforcement, and building in small prizes, could do both, and maybe be a game-changer, so thank you both very much for the insight!
3. No, the teacher has *not* given up on him. I actually went from being very unimpressed with her back when she taught Little Man a few years back, to SUPER impressed with her this year, as she tries to teach Middle Guy. When Middle Guy only has one or two other peers to take up the teacher's attention, he fucking shines, and does everything necessary; usually knocks it out of the park! Same with his "just-one-other-kid-in-the-class" speech meetings- the one on one attention makes him actually care and focus! But the Kindergarten teacher has thirty kids in her class, and Middle Guy gets his half-hour of speech meeting once a week
Toby has speech therapy every Tuesday. Because he 100% will not wear a mask it has to be online, and currently the therapist has been holding a tablet up to the camera, Toby taps our screen, and then we encourage him to say what the thing is that he just tapped. He says it, therapist taps it, a short video of "the thing" (cat, dog, plane, beetle, etc) plays. Well, this past Tuesday, I looked away from the screen for a moment at the exact moment that he'd tapped "the thing", and I asked "what did you tap, buddy?" and the wife said, "It was the boat."
To which Toby got an offended look on his face, whipped his head around to glare at mom, and he said to her, "Nono, Isa-ship!"
Because it was large and had three smoke stacks and looked a lot like an ocean liner/cruise ship that is, in fact, a ship. I mean, he was totally right. It was also strikingly hilarious to have our taciturn little 4 year old pedantically correct his mom.
(Note: this is now my favorite "Toby Talks" moment. The previous favorite was when I'd left the room and come back and he was on my computer and I asked him "did I say you could play on my computer?" and he looked me right in the eyes and said, "Meebee?" with an enormous grin. He's lucky he's cute.
Look, I'm just a dad of one, so I can't even act like I'd know exactly what you could do. But when I look at point 1 and 3 I just think y'all need some 1-on-1 help for the kids. You definitely don't want to appear to favor one kid over the other, but the current situation is so unfair. My partner got a lot of help through her GP, there were plenty of ways they could help us carry our load a little better. I think 30 is too many for a kindergarden class, Little King is currently in a class of ~20 and that's plenty.
2. Sounds great, I think @Ketar has the right of it.
Also, as a middle kid my own self (and more or less certainly on the spectrum as well) my mom had to create carrots and reward through positive reinforcement rather than push and punish (which always has made me just shut down, still does to this day), and I also required a bit of attention so as not to be lost between "oldest sister" and "youngest brother" because it wasn't the intention, but it was easy to have happen anyways. Especially since I was far more comfortable in my own little space anyways.
Yeah holy heck 30 kindergarteners is a looooooot for one class. Our school's cap out at like 15, and gradually increase as the grades go up til they're in the 30 range by middle school I thiiiiink.
Forgive the mess, his new thing is taking every toy out of its box one by one and placing them all over the place....
Hahahaha... a mess? Bless your heart! <giggle>
The livingroom right now looks like a tornado hit the toy box and a Squishmallow store.
And the Jo-Ann's fabric scraps section.
And the entire bedding section of a Sears.
She refused the bottle and was screaming on and off for the first half hour or so (I could hear her from the room next door!). I went in to breastfeed her and she calmed down, then left again. A bit more crying, but then she quieted down. I just got an update from the educators that she’s now fine and playing, even dancing! She did refuse her lunch, which is probably because I fed her right before lunch was served. She’s normally a really good (if messy) eater.
Anyway... it looks like I’m back to pumping so that at least it’s breastmilk in the bottles, and then maybe swap to formula once she’s used to bottles again. She hasn’t had a bottle for about 4 months and now that she’s older (10 months), I think she knows the bottle means no boob.
I *really* do not enjoy pumping. The discomfort, the time, the stress when you don’t pump enough... stopping back in the day was such a relief! I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not for long, it’s only until she’s a year old and we might be able to get her to take formula before then, but still. I am not looking forward to it. Ugh.
I’m planning to see the child health nurse next week as well for some tips, but if anyone has any experience in this arena, I’d be grateful to hear any tips or thoughts.
Meanwhile - LOOK AT THIS CUTE AF SETUP I GOT FOR HER DAYCARE GEAR
The tags on the right are to label her cloth nappies and the wetbags they get stored in (green for clean, red for dirty).
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Yeah I’ve got no issues with putting her on formula, I’d actually prefer it on her daycare days, but she’s refusing the bottle so at least if it’s breastmilk in the bottle for a bit it removes one variable!
I hated pumping, and could never get enough for a full day without formula supplementation. Kids can be stubborn and it's hard to get them what they need sometimes.
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It could be both, but changing both at the same time doesn’t yield too much information.
A large part of what causes people grief is worrying about what they SHOULD be feeling, and/or comparing others’ experience. Push that from your mind because your reactions are authentic reactions, by their nature.
Sure, there are negative, non-constructive ways to think about things but that is a seperate issue, to my mind.
Just from having lots of friends having babies, these mental comparisons seem to be very common and have strong emotional reactions to them
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If the US had decent maternity leave my kids could’ve been exclusively breastfed. But I had to supplement with formula because I literally couldn’t pump enough and I had no choice but to return to work at 11/12 weeks. And Niko refused formula anyway so he ended up not eating at all during the day from the age of 3-5 months (which is when we started him on solids)
We started ellie on the most expensive, blinged out, gold can with all the stickers and medals on it. And she was fine. But the midwife was very much "what? no why? why are you spending so much money. use this brand it's got the same levels of vitamins and minerals, but no shiny packaging and it's $15 cheaper/can." and we did and she was fine.
Also, that little bag is amazing, Viv. I love it so much.
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But yeah, everything else about it was a punishment at the best of times.
They make super discreet ones now too that are meant to fit inside your bra and work quietly
Go. To. Sleep. I swear.
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For me, it was more the “sit there while strapped in”, the discomfort (it wasn’t painful, but it’s not a pleasant experience), btw don’t do anything else while you are pumping so it effectively takes time out of your already time-poor day, and all the faffing around with cleaning the pump parts.
And even though my supply was decent, you still get days where you don’t get as much as usual, which is deflating as hell.
Ugh. I’m really not looking forward to it. But if she does drink it from a bottle, we then at least know what the issue is.
Kids! Being a parent is nuts.
When we learned that Sapling couldn't breast feed, we tried getting the Costco brand formula because it's way cheaper, but it gave her a bunch of digestive problems.
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It looks like the regulations around formula are way stricter in Aus/NZ than in the US. Lots of Aussies are told that all the available formulas are pretty similar, while apparently some American ones can be bulked out with sucrose (not allowed here)!
Satans..... hints.....
This has nothing to do with COVID and everything to do with people buying them up and sending them overseas (mostly to China) either to family or to be sold on for a premium price.
Same in The Netherlands. Massive issue with stores being all out of baby powder whenever new shipments arrived.
All I'm hearing from you is "I'm not willing to use a variety of different disguises to buy two cans from the same store over and over again". Buck up your ideas! :-D
Some Walgreens had it, some did not. And if they did, they had like one or two vs the 20 of the regular kind.
And would the distilled water be with the baby stuff or with the water or with the other drinks? Who knows!
I think it was Dr. Brown bottles that we had. Light blue plastic, tall. Those worked well.
The problem is that they balanced his classes all wrong so for a month all he has is English and gym (fishing and archery). Then for a month he gets hammered with math, history, chemistry and latin.
He's in the middle of that busy month and they've decided with no parent input to add scheduled remote learning on Fridays. I'm a bit pissed, his workload is already rough because they assign so much busy work during the week. We're thinking of emailing or calling the principal as that wasn't part of the deal when we choose hybrid scheduling.