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You vs 1 billion ants

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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    To be honest, I'm not sure how a billion ants survive to even reach me considering calorie needs, etc.

    bwmcttjqgbcw.png

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    You
    This isn’t even my final form.

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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    Why has there not been a birds style horror movie where all ants on earth suddenly attack humans in unison

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    EvilCakeEvilCake Richmond VARegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    if the ants are dumped on me from some sorta ant-chute, I die for sure.

    if they walk at me in a single file line, I also die cuz Im a cake

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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Oh, I'm turbofucked for sure.

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    Typhoid MannyTyphoid Manny Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    You versus one billion ants. Who walks away?

    What kind of ants are they?
    Great question. There are 12,000 species of ants so let's assume that we divide that distribution evenly, giving each species of ant 83334 (rounding up) participants.

    What kind of prep time do I have?
    What do you mean prep time? You aren't fuckin' Batman, you didn't anticipate this happening today

    What so I can't just go to the hardware store and buy the shelf full of RAID?
    If you think that's your only path to victory you're welcome to attempt it, but you're going to have to get through one billion ants in order to reach transportation to your local Menards or whatever.

    What if I go for their queens? That seems like an easy route to victory.
    Ants perform tasks en masse outside the colony while the queen stays safely secluded all the goddamn time. And it's not like ants are robots. They don't just stop and shut down if you kill the queen. If anything that's just gonna drive them into even more of a frenzy.

    Aren't ants extremely territorial? Wouldn't each colony be as likely to turn against each other as attack me?
    If that were the case it wouldn't be you versus 1 billion ants, now would it. They are united in their goal of your utter annihilation.

    you don't know me

    Typhoid Manny on
    from each according to his ability, to each according to his need
    hitting hot metal with hammers
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    You versus one billion ants. Who walks away?

    What kind of ants are they?
    Great question. There are 12,000 species of ants so let's assume that we divide that distribution evenly, giving each species of ant 83334 (rounding up) participants.

    What kind of prep time do I have?
    What do you mean prep time? You aren't fuckin' Batman, you didn't anticipate this happening today

    What so I can't just go to the hardware store and buy the shelf full of RAID?
    If you think that's your only path to victory you're welcome to attempt it, but you're going to have to get through one billion ants in order to reach transportation to your local Menards or whatever.

    What if I go for their queens? That seems like an easy route to victory.
    Ants perform tasks en masse outside the colony while the queen stays safely secluded all the goddamn time. And it's not like ants are robots. They don't just stop and shut down if you kill the queen. If anything that's just gonna drive them into even more of a frenzy.

    Aren't ants extremely territorial? Wouldn't each colony be as likely to turn against each other as attack me?
    If that were the case it wouldn't be you versus 1 billion ants, now would it. They are united in their goal of your utter annihilation.

    you don't know me

    Sure I do, you're the one with the "women want me, ants fear me" Etsy merch store

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    IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost This is also my fault Registered User regular
    You
    I bet one billion ants all walking at the same time would make a noise, right? What would that even sound like?

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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    You
    I bet one billion ants all walking at the same time would make a noise, right? What would that even sound like?

    I dunno, but now I'm wondering with that volume if I could start to smell them too. They're a very scent-based creature, right? Lots of pheromones and shit?

    JtgVX0H.png
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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I bet one billion ants all walking at the same time would make a noise, right? What would that even sound like?

    ask Dave Mathews

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    I bet Dave Matthews couldn't defeat a billion ants

    edit: damn you all, my phone's auto complete for the letter 'a' are:

    and
    ant
    ant-sized

    Xaquin on
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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Dave Matthews is 1 billions ants in a Dave-suit

    Also I can't believe I misspelled Matthew again, you'd think I would know how to by now. Two T's dammit.

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    MillMill Registered User regular
    You
    Thread I'm disappointed. A thread about man vs ant and no one has bothered to link any images to the cheesy 1954 film called Them. Come on.

    1x7ipjk0qf79.png

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    I bet one billion ants all walking at the same time would make a noise, right? What would that even sound like?

    Goddamnit Zeno!

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    Mill wrote: »
    Thread I'm disappointed. A thread about man vs ant and no one has bothered to link any images to the cheesy 1954 film called Them. Come on.

    1x7ipjk0qf79.png

    I do enjoy early Van Morrison

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    GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Whip out your Amigas and play through 'It came from the Desert' after watching 'Them!'

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTWd_eyAmgQ&ab_channel=WorldofLongplays

    This post was sponsored by Tom Cruise.
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    DelzhandDelzhand Hard to miss. Registered User regular
    You
    I've got a giant bag of diatomaceous earth under the sink and a free afternoon, let's do this

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    You
    This isn’t even my final form.

    Wait I take it back I’ve just reached my final form and it’s not very good.

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Can I be at my final form if I’m still gaining chins

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    1 billion ants
    Doing some quick napkin math, I think the total amount of human biomass is about one trillion pounds while the total biomass of all ants is about 11 billion pounds, so we're probably ok in a straight fight unless the ants are really clever about climbing into our nostrils and mouths and ears and buttholes

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I saw this episode of MacGuyver.

    Mac survived. I'm good, but I'm not as good as MacGuyver.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    expendable wrote: »
    I saw this episode of MacGuyver.

    Mac survived. I'm good, but I'm not as good as MacGuyver.

    you saw the episode though right?

    he figures it out so that we may live!

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    You
    Doing some quick napkin math, I think the total amount of human biomass is about one trillion pounds while the total biomass of all ants is about 11 billion pounds, so we're probably ok in a straight fight unless the ants are really clever about climbing into our nostrils and mouths and ears and buttholes

    An ant ain't gonna climb into your butthole, sphincters are pretty good about staying closed.

    Your urethra, on the other hand...

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Doing some quick napkin math, I think the total amount of human biomass is about one trillion pounds while the total biomass of all ants is about 11 billion pounds, so we're probably ok in a straight fight unless the ants are really clever about climbing into our nostrils and mouths and ears and buttholes

    An ant ain't gonna climb into your butthole, sphincters are pretty good about staying closed.

    Your urethra, on the other hand...

    Speak for your own butthole, buddy

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Doing some quick napkin math, I think the total amount of human biomass is about one trillion pounds while the total biomass of all ants is about 11 billion pounds, so we're probably ok in a straight fight unless the ants are really clever about climbing into our nostrils and mouths and ears and buttholes

    An ant ain't gonna climb into your butthole, sphincters are pretty good about staying closed.

    Your urethra, on the other hand...

    Speak for your own urethra, buddy

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I am the Lorass I speak for the buttholes

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Between the bullet ants, grasscutter ants, army ants, and many other types of ants with potential to do horrible things to humans they're gonna win when all they're aiming for is one person.

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    You
    This isn’t even my final form.

    Wait I take it back I’ve just reached my final form and it’s not very good.

    I reached my final form but by then I was just really tired and stopped caring about the fight and wanted a nap.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    1 billion ants
    Juggernut wrote: »
    I am the Lorass I speak for the buttholes

    No defecation without representation.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    You
    One billion ants is like 7000 lbs of ants, I bet they taste good fried up.

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    To be clear, the ants only have normal ant colony-level intelligence right?

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    DelzhandDelzhand Hard to miss. Registered User regular
    You
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Doing some quick napkin math, I think the total amount of human biomass is about one trillion pounds while the total biomass of all ants is about 11 billion pounds, so we're probably ok in a straight fight unless the ants are really clever about climbing into our nostrils and mouths and ears and buttholes

    An ant ain't gonna climb into your butthole, sphincters are pretty good about staying closed.

    Your urethra, on the other hand...

    Speak for your own urethra, buddy

    you speak for urethra, i'll speak for myethra

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    Winky wrote: »
    To be clear, the ants only have normal ant colony-level intelligence right?

    yes

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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    An average worker ant weighs between 1 and 5 mg. Its volume is about 10 mm^3 (Im only calculating with averages at the moment). The approximate volume of a human being 0,07 m^3. So you'll need about 7 million ants to fill a human body.
    Hmm. So a US billion ants would be 142 humanoid ant mechas.

    A billion 10mm³ ants would make a 10m³ death cube. Just over 2 metres tall, wide, and deep and chock full of a squirming mass of ants. Weighing between 1 and 5 tons.

    Assuming any of this is accurate.

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    I mean defeating them would be pretty easy.

    I would place a stick, or a leaf in front of them and they’d be fucked four days.

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Easy as selling a washing machine huh

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Blake T wrote: »
    I mean defeating them would be pretty easy.

    I would place a stick, or a leaf in front of them and they’d be fucked four days.

    A stick doesn’t mean shit to a bull ant

    md1oaqks3ojd.jpeg

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    You
    That's because that ant is dumber than a bowl of knuckle hair.

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    Tef wrote: »
    Blake T wrote: »
    I mean defeating them would be pretty easy.

    I would place a stick, or a leaf in front of them and they’d be fucked four days.

    A stick doesn’t mean shit to a bull ant

    md1oaqks3ojd.jpeg

    garden hose would though

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Tef wrote: »
    Blake T wrote: »
    I mean defeating them would be pretty easy.

    I would place a stick, or a leaf in front of them and they’d be fucked four days.

    A stick doesn’t mean shit to a bull ant

    md1oaqks3ojd.jpeg

    Use a red rag for those lads

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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