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Who would win in a fight?

Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
After days of evolution within the Penny Arcade forums’ primordial soup, these amazing specimens have reached their majestic conclusion.

Thus, only a single question remains: Who would win in a fight?

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Squonteleon

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Genesis van Saturn

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Funks Nastily

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Simone

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Jorca

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Gorgeous Brusharella

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Washington

Who would win in a fight? 92 votes

Squonteleon
8%
Whippysee317Delzhandvalhalla130StraightziArtereisburboBrovid Hasselsmof 8 votes
Genesis van Saturn
1%
ZeroCow 1 vote
Funks Nastily
8%
SonelanDarkPrimusBroloHeadCreepsCaptain InertiaLucedesTefDuke 2.0 8 votes
Simone
9%
Lindsay Lohanph blakeKwoaruNarbusdurandal4532SLyMSnicketysnickEvilCakeBillyIdle 9 votes
Jorca
20%
SniperGuyMunkus BeaverschussHouk the NamebringerPerrsunOptyRhesus PositiveRingoexpendableJedocElaro3cl1ps3TynnanEtiowsaIronKnuckle's GhostPreciousBodilyFluidsEnlongcB557Chall 19 votes
Gorgeous Brusharella
6%
JasconiusWeaverZonugalMr FuzzbuttAlbino Bunnydiscrider 6 votes
Washington
44%
SporkAndrewMacro9#pipeMulysaSemproniusRaijin QuickfoottynicchromdomsarukunSirToastyUnbrokenEvaXaquinMechMantisDrZiplocksponoCentipede DamascusGrey GhostA Dabble Of TheloniusHadesPinfeldorfironsizide 41 votes
cB557PeasZeroCowmilskiXaquinKristmas KthulhuTynnansarukun
«13

Posts

  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Jorca
    Air superiority is key in this day and age.

    A Dabble Of TheloniusschussRingoJedocPerrsun
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Washington
    Having a fucking gun > air superiority.

    TheStigZonugalCentipede DamascuschromdommilskifacetiousHeadCreepsXaquinPeenSorcemiscellaneousinsanitygodmodeironsizideOdinKristmas KthulhusarukunGoose!SirToasty
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Washington
    Easiest poll ever

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    TheStigAlexandiermilskimiscellaneousinsanityironsizideKristmas KthulhusarukunSirToasty
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    An early lead for Washington, but please consider the virtues of the other options, such as Genesis van Saturn’s ability to roll around at the speed of sound. Or the fact Funks Nastily is called that.

    RingoUnbrokenEvaTynnan
  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    Gorgeous Brusharella
    i misunderstood the labelling and i can never undo this terrible mistake

    pretend i voted for washington

    Endless_SerpentsLucedesOdinMr FuzzbuttTynnansarukun
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    I await the final results with bated breath. I will review them in 5 hours, at which point, as God intended, I will incinerate the entire population of the other species.

  • ChallChall Registered User regular
    Jorca
    I was considering Washington, but Jorca is a fighter jet that releases other fighter jets from it's "compartment". They both have weapons but Jorca has the numbers.

    Rhesus Positive
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    What about Simone? Eh? Simone, Simone, looks like an ice cream cone. That do anything for ya?

    durandal4532
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Jorca
    Jorca is a living fighting jet the size of a whale, a revolver cannot harm it.

    schussChallTynnan
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Washington
    Jorca is actually the size of a walnut, you are being fooled by perspective.

    TheStigKristmas Kthulhu
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited August 2021
    Squonteleon
    3cl1ps3 wrote: »
    Jorca is a living fighting jet the size of a whale, a revolver cannot harm it.

    I'm assuming these are all at the same scale, there was no legend suggesting otherwise

    Straightzi on
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    I can confirm Jorca is the size of a whale. It may interest you to know Washington is as large as Seal, the singer. Gorgeous Brusharella changes size depending on your relative distance to it.

    Rhesus PositiveRingoPerrsunTynnan
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Squonteleon is a venomous squid-ant-reptile. Just putting that out there.

  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Squonteleon
    It was apparent. To me at least.

    Whippy
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Squonteleon
    Washington appears to lack the manual dexterity required to aim and fire the pistol with any kind of reliability.
    Let alone a method to source fresh ammunition.

    LucedescB557TynnanDelzhand
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Oh ho! The plot thickens!

  • LucedesLucedes might be real Registered User regular
    Funks Nastily
    Each Washington is born with a single revolver, six shots in its lifetime… truly a beautiful mystery of nature.

    Endless_SerpentsCaptain InertiaHeadCreepscB557SporkAndrewRhesus PositiveRingogodmodeKristmas KthulhuTynnansarukun
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Funks Nastily
    Funks Nastily slaps, nuff said

    LucedesDuke 2.0
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    A surprising turn of events! Yet the blue one with a gun remains at the top of the leader boards.

  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Squonteleon
    The knobbly knees of Funks Nastily give me the impression that they don't have the musculature to support their form through any serious acts of violence.

  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Oooooo @Captain Inertia you seeing this? ^^^^

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Squonteleon
    How does the Jorca, a whale sized jet powered flying creature, possibly consume enough biomass to fuel itself?
    Most large birds tend to have large, gliding wings in order to take advantage of thermals with minimal calorie expenditure, but the short, almost stubby, wings of the Jorca render that unlikely.
    Such a beast would either have to spend the majority of it's time consuming vast amounts of foliage to fuel itself (on the ground), or adapt some kind of filter feeding ability to devour birds by the hundreds.

    Perhaps the green coloration is a clue? Could it be photosynthetic to produce additional energy to make up for the calorie deficit required by a highly active, predatory lifestyle?

    Endless_SerpentsRingo
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Um yeah that last bit sounds pretty good.

    LucedesRingo
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    edited August 2021
    Funks Nastily
    Straightzi wrote: »
    The knobbly knees of Funks Nastily give me the impression that they don't have the musculature to support their form through any serious acts of violence.

    That’s cause those appendages are made to cut through the air and whip ass

    Nastily

    Captain Inertia on
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Jorca
    All y'all voting for Washington haven't noticed that he has no fingers with which to pull a gun trigger.

    cB557EtiowsaTynnan
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Washington
    Enlong wrote: »
    All y'all voting for Washington haven't noticed that he has no fingers with which to pull a gun trigger.

    Psssh…you see that fucking hat? That’s the hat of a god damned winner

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    Sorce
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Enlong wrote: »
    All y'all voting for Washington haven't noticed that he has no fingers with which to pull a gun trigger.

    Psssh…you see that fucking hat? That’s the hat of a god damned winner

    Hmm…

    j3hjnlh3gmqa.jpeg

    Hats are very important, that is true.

    LucedesTynnan
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Washington
    Well now it’s just upside down! That’s the position of a dead thing.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Jorca
    Enlong wrote: »
    All y'all voting for Washington haven't noticed that he has no fingers with which to pull a gun trigger.

    Psssh…you see that fucking hat? That’s the hat of a god damned winner

    That looks like a fedora

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited August 2021
    Washington the blue fedora wearing gunslinger appears to be set to win. Will there be a last minute upset?

    Endless_Serpents on
  • ZeroCowZeroCow Registered User regular
    Genesis van Saturn
    Washington's gun isn't even real! It's just a damn replica they bought online!

    PSN ID - Buckeye_Bert
    Magic Online - Bertro
    Delzhand
  • OdinOdin Registered User regular
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Each Washington is born with a single revolver, six shots in its lifetime… truly a beautiful mystery of nature.

    Six bullets... more than enough to kill anything that moves

    Kristmas KthulhuLucedes
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    ZeroCow wrote: »
    Washington's gun isn't even real! It's just a damn replica they bought online!

    Meanwhile, Genesis van Saturn is real and your friend.

    ZeroCow
  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    Funks Nastily
    How could I not vote for such a majestic creature?

    vEaRQgH.png
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Squonteleon
    Odin wrote: »
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Each Washington is born with a single revolver, six shots in its lifetime… truly a beautiful mystery of nature.

    Six bullets... more than enough to kill anything that moves

    What about a cat? I'm no mathematician, but I reckon they'd have three lives left over.

    Ringo
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Jorca
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Odin wrote: »
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Each Washington is born with a single revolver, six shots in its lifetime… truly a beautiful mystery of nature.

    Six bullets... more than enough to kill anything that moves

    What about a cat? I'm no mathematician, but I reckon they'd have three lives left over.

    Not if you shoot them with Shrodinger's bullet.

    At least twice, though. In case the first one doesn't take.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
    Rhesus PositiveZeroCow
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    What a weird experiment. You’d just hear the cat if it was alive. What a dumbass.

    Tynnan
  • milskimilski Poyo! Registered User regular
    Washington
    I am glad to have contributed to the evolution of the clear winner

    I ate an engineer
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Squonteleon
    Squonteleon looks like it'd be good at wrasslin'

    Kristmas Kthulhu
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Jorca
    This survey is truth the public can't be trusted

    Etiowsa
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