Dealing with a broken elbow and broken brain

JaysonFour

Fair warning lots of venting lots of questions just me being me hopefully you can understand everything in the questions are clear putting stuff behind spoiler so It can be hidden if people just want to give answers

Sorry if things sound weird I’m using talk to text

I’m a night of February 14 I broke my elbow trying to fish garlic bread out from behind the freezer drawers. As a result I have been going through what I can pretty much term hell both myself and my family because of my decisions.

I had surgery on the 17th which was successful but has kept me trapped for no better word in the cast and sling that I was given and this has caused no small amount of consternation stress in many many many emotional moments of frustration. Right now I am limited to two or three rooms in the house in which I can do maybe a number of things. I can sleep I can wear you down and watch TV or talk with my family as much fun as that is especially now that my sister has a bad cold sore throat and everything and everybody is pretty much just stressed to the max because I have to be taken care of

Have you ever been next to a pair of family members arguing over you especially because one person in the family is apparently risking their job taking time off to care for me and one person is I don’t know. I just leave my I just leave my arm on the pillow to rest it and not 10 seconds later my sister’s feet are also on the same pillow so she can use it for a foot rest and I’m constantly looking at her feet that she is shifting and worrying how is she not going to my elbow even by accident and it feels like she’s trying to get rid of me back in my cell.

Another thing is I apparently am too delicate to even let go outside because everyone thinks if I if I’m not being led somewhere by the hand I’m going to topple over. It’s like I want to go out I’m tired of seeing the same rooms the same things not being being surrounded by things like books and computers and video games and technology but I can’t use because I can’t move my elbow and it’s just demoralizing and frustrating To be surrounded by all this stuff but I can’t do because I can’t hold anything with my Other arm

It’s frustrating because literally my whole life is gaming it’s reading it’s playing on the computer and I can’t do any of that because I only have one good hand. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t my dominant hand it’s currently in a cast because I could still use a mouse but I can’t now because you can’t use it right handed mouse with left hand and expect good things. Nobody can seem to give me any idea on when I’ll be able to even type again much less play a game and it makes me sad and nervous that I may never get to do those things again because my life is my games right now it’s telling me my friends it’s how I be social and it’s everything all my friends are online


I’m tired of expressing my concerns to my family because no matter what I say if I say I’m scared that something might go wrong when they take the cast off and things like that all I can get out of them is why can’t you be more positive and it’s like I can’t get support from these people because they’re tired of taking care of me and listening to me. I’m trying to be positive but I’m worried they say positive thinking is good for healing but nobody seems to want to address my concerns and to be honest it’s frustrating. Every ping every ache and every Xing out of my elbow is caused at least a flash of anxiety and honestly I’m tired of it because I’m tired of worrying about my elbow because I’m afraid the metal they put in is going to go out of place and require me to get another surgery. It just feels like they want me to shut up and stop complaining instead of actually being supportive and it’s just not fun

It just feels like I have nobody to talk to about anything and honestly it feels like I’m all alone people keep telling me wait till Thursday you get your cast off then you can go out and do stuff but they don’t understand how frustrating it is to see people talking and everything and it’s just enough to get me worked up and angry and raging because I’m jealous because I want to do those things too and it feels like I’m never getting out of this thing and I’m tired of seeing people talk about the games they play and about everything else they do and all the work that I get to do the things I’ve read and everything else and just watching people go about their lives because I can’t do any of things right now.

It makes me want to scream out loud because I just want some support and reassurance but nobody seems to want to give me any and it’s frustrating because I feel like I’m becoming a burden on my family because people might lose their job because they call after I have to take care of me and then the people who are left they mean well but it just makes me Feel like a burden on them especially when they are sick and said person has a nine-year-old to get to school in the morning who is also sick.

I’m tired of missing everything I’m tired of simply laying around and watching streaming TV and trying to keep myself in a positive mind when I can’t continue to fake it because I miss doing everything I loved

So here are my questions

1). How do you avoid the brain worms of jealousy anger and just generally feeling like garbage in a situation like this?

2) How long will it take after my cast comes off to be able to type and play games? I’m not looking for a certain day but sooner would rather be better.

3). How do you avoid feeling like nothing but a burden on the lives of those you love and making sure you can still make it to cast off day with your brain intact?

4). Any suggestions as for things to do to keep me busy over the next couple days and then with my brace on I can do with one hand and very little lifting?

Thanks again you guys

Soggybiscuit

For (2), talk to your doctor and follow the recommendations they make. It takes time to heal, don't try to rush things. I broke my leg a couple of years ago, and because I tried to rush things I've got a loose piece of titanium plate in my leg. I haven't been able to get it fixed because COVID happened. It will require another surgery and recovery period to get it fixed. Don't be me.

For (4), if you like to read, now is a good time to do it! It will be easiest with an e-reader, but a book will work just fine as well. That is what I did when I couldn't walk and didn't want to watch another single millisecond of TV. Want to learn something new? Now would be a good time to do that.

For (1) and (3), if you need talk things out, a therapist might be a good idea. As for how they are treating you, yeah it sucks. That's what I felt like, and my wife was putting in some serious effort to care for me while working a new job 300 miles away during the week (my dad is retired and helped out during the week). I wish I had gotten a therapist. I believe online services where you can talk to a therapist exist now.

Corvus

I broke my dominant wrist decades ago and that sucked, so I know how you're feeling. It's frustrating, but practicing doing some tasks with your off-hand will serve you well.

For entertainment, you can use your phone in your off hand. E-books on your phone are fine (Kobo app, Libby, etc,), podcasts, watch some shows or videos on your phone.

In terms of what you're doing and where you're going, a broken elbow doesn't affect your lower body mobility. There's no reason you can't go for walks, etc., unless there's a fear of ice or something where you live.

Poster above is very correct about listening to your doctor. I broke an ankle six or seven years ago and following the after care instructions religiously is why I have zero issues now.

JaysonFour

Well I live in Michigan and there’s still plenty of ice and crap on the ground so that’s really out even the driveway is covered so even if I wanted to take a ride in the car and get a coffee or a hamburger or something it’s too risky

It’s just frustrating because so much of my life is online and I can’t do anything with my arm like this

There’s also the thinking that like what if something is wrong what if something came off in there and it’s just like once I start spiraling like that it’s hard to stop because I just keep thinking every little thing I get from my elbow is something coming loose and they’re going to find on the x-ray in A few days then I’m going to need something else done

I know I’m going to have to go with the doctors pace but it’s frustrating because I don’t feel like me without my games and lying around the house really isn’t helping my brain or much of anything

Thanks for the reply so far!

Local H Jay

Also if recovery is something that'll take time, maybe look into an Xbox Adaptive controller. You could use it to play games one handed or through other means with a little creativity. Might not be the easiest to setup without help though.

Either way, stay strong. I know the feeling of isolation that comes with being injured, and it will pass.

webguy20

As far as reading goes, if you can't hold a book or an e-reader with your other hand, can you get a book easel and be able to at least turn the page with your non-dominant hand? My friend uses one while she knits and loves it. I imagine it would work the same for a kindle or other e-reader.

Iruka

Podcasts a are a good recommendation, but audio books might be an easier transition if you are already an active reader.

I'm an artist and I haven't broken a bone in my right arm, but I did give myself a pretty terrible RSI in my right wrist. I have to say I've switched some function to my left hand with great success. I dont game with my left hand on PC, but for an extended period I did all of my internet browsing and work with my left hand and mouse. slow at first, but faster as I got used to it. I also played some games that just weren't as demanding. Pokémon sword and shield, for instance, has a one handed mode. If you have an iPad, lots of games that just require tapping, like the digital version of Carcassonne, are very one hand friendly.

The frustration will pass, but you are allowed your feelings as well. Try to take it easy on yourself where you can. If you can afford it, a lot of therapists have worked out online sessions thanks to the pandemic, and it might help to have someone who can listen to you that isn't your family. They maybe understandably stressed, and not really capable of providing proper emotional support.

Also, no judgment because games and tech are also a big hobby of mine, but you might take it as a chance to branch out. So much about gaming is hard on our physical health, our hands, our backs, our eyes... If you have another hobby, or even the idea of something else you could be doing, it might take some tension of to work towards it. A skill share class, a coding book you can read through, anything to harness the boredom into something that makes you feel positive about yourself might help.

JaysonFour

It’s hard but I’m trying to take into account every bit of advice I’m getting

I’m just very frustrated because I can’t enjoy stuff without typing I realize that some of these classes I have to take notes and all of my voice to text stuff really blows and it’s not like I could really do the assignments one-handed

I think right now most of the frustration in my life comes from the fact I just can’t do anything and I’m trapped in bed until someone can come help me up and then I have to go back with nobody else can get me out and everybody else has better things to do in the same way with the bathroom and bathing

People who are 40 years old should not have to be wiped and helped with the bathroom either parents or siblings they shouldn’t have to lie in bed hours a day unable to sleep losing their appetite and not giving a damn about anything except everything we’re missing and it’s just hard to spend time on the game forum where everybody is just discussing things like games plus using an iPad one-handed is an Absolute pain in the ass

I get my cast off on Thursday and start rehab and I’m tired of getting panic attacks every twins coming out of my elbow every bit of pain makes me think something has gone wrong and that when they take the cast off they’re going to find something screwed up with it I fucked up and I have panic attacks constantly

I had an emotional breakdown sitting in front of my computer when I was getting passwords to put on my iPad because I knew the only thing standing in the way of me getting back on and doing what I love with this stupid goddamn fucking elbow I even had one when I wanted to pick up my cat but I couldn’t

I freak out anytime with the cat goes near my broken elbow because I’m afraid that she’s going to put enough weight on it to break some thing and I’m tired of sitting in this bed going stir crazy because the hours seem to go by like seconds and I just want this fucking thing off but I don’t want anything to go wrong with it And I’ll never be able to play games again or type

Athenor

If you are taking classes at a university, reach out to their disability and wellness departments. They should be able to make accomodations for you.

taliosfalcon

Everyone's situation is different as mentioned but to add some positivity i shattered my elbow when i was younger and ended up with nerve damage so my dominant hand was completely paralyzed. I ended up regaining motion and being back to playing video games etc. with it in about 6 months and 10 years later i'm still fully ambidextrous in both hands from being forced to use my non dominant hand for so long so bonus.And i haven't needed any metal replaced or further work on it since; it probably took a year or so before the pain was completely gone though

JaysonFour

Well I guess I didn’t shatter my elbow at least it’s more of an Olecranon fracture with lots of metal holding it together.

Fiendishrabbit

• If you like reading (I interpreted your text as a Yes to that question) I strongly recommend getting an ebook reader. One with big buttons, because touchscreens can be frustrating when you can only use one hand and it's your offhand on top of that. Big buttons on the other hand are easy, even with your offhand. My personal recommendation is the Pocketbook Lux. It's cheap as e-readers go (130$), it has big reliable buttons, it makes no fuzz for e-books (ePub is the most reliable format, but it can handle a bunch of other ones as well) and unlike a phone it's a lot less stressful on the eyes.
• Unless you live in Crime City Central... If you have any outdoor shoes that you can put on with one hand, just put them on and go outside. If you don't have that kind of shoes, get them. Lock laces (google it) and a long shoe horn will allow you to put on sneakers unless they're too tight and that will give you the freedom to get out the door at your own convencience. Regardless of what your family says or insinuates you're not helpless, you just need help with some things. Walking will help with both clearing the mind, strengthening the body and getting a bit of independence. Once the cast comes off you can probably put on a jacket on your own, but your arm is probably going to be sore and weak for a few weeks.
• I've worked with helping the elderly and handicapped. You can take care of yourself during the day. You need help putting on some clothes (like t-shirts) in the morning (I know some one-armed people that don't, but they don't have a temporarily useless arm that's in the way), but you can go to the bathroom on your own and if you have a microwave and frozen food (either store bought or prepared beforehand so that you can eat it with a fork or a spoon) you can prepare your own meals during the day. I don't know about you, but for a lot of people even a small level of independence helps a lot with the the psychological bits.
• When they take off the cast, talk to your doctor about how much you're supposed to use your arm. I would be very surprised if they say you can't use a mouse. Usually it's "no heavy lifting or fast movements for X number of weeks".
• NOTE: If you have a vulnerable arm, when you're putting on a t-shirt or jacket that arm goes through first. Then everything else. "Arm->Head->Other arm->Pull down shirt/Hoodie" puts the least stress on arms and shoulders. This might be obvious (and becomes second nature pretty quickly), but I've known people with (primarily shoulder muscle/socket injuries) that have managed to undo weeks of recovery with just one stupid "I know how to put on a shirt!".

P.S: Ok. It's a bad idea to go outside with a vulnerable arm and ice everywhere. So ignore that part until things start to thaw up.

Corvus

JaysonFour wrote: »

Well I guess I didn’t shatter my elbow at least it’s more of an Olecranon fracture with lots of metal holding it together.

Does knowing exactly that it is help at all? Having metal holding your joints together after a break or fracture is totally normal, in case you are worried about that. I had temporary pins after my broken wrist, and a permanent plate and multiple large screws in my ankle, which don't cause me any issues.

I just also want to say that it is totally normal and valid to be grieving loss of ability to do things for yourself, even if it's only temporary.

JaysonFour

So my cast is off! Good things!

Everything healed well, but no lifting anything heavier then needed and my arm is weak as fuck. Also no putting my weight on it to push up.

But I can game!