JESUS CHRIST MY EYE FUCK

Monkeybomb

So I was due for my annual eye appointment and I figure since the girlfriend's been bugging me to get contacts, I'd finally man up and try it.

Jesus Christ, that was the single most humiliating, annoying, nerve-wracking experience in my life. Fucking half an hour of holding my eyelids open and trying to put a small round disk on my FUCKING EYEBALL while my girlfriend watches me and says "Ooo almost" over and over. What the shit, this is not a fun alternative to my good ol' glasses.

What's worse is even after taking it out and rinsing it, the left one still feels bad and keeps on getting all blurry.


Let's share some eye stories.

Also, Bongi needs to post the picture if he's around.

Lord Dave

don't put salt in your eye!

OmegaTofuNinja

Vision in my left eye is worse than in my right one. It's awesome

The_Rat

Getting my contacts in the first time was torture. My face was soaked in contact solution by the time I finally succeeded. But now I don't need a mirror to get them in, or even light. It gets a lot easier as your reflexes are suppressed.

Redeemer

My first time putting contacts in was similarly long/embarrassing

But honestly, after a week it becomes second nature

Ubik

Yeah it sucks when you first start but contacts get easier as you practice. Takes me like 30 seconds now.

TheySlashThem

I'll probably be wearing glasses my whole life.

I'm incredibly nearsighted... anything past, oh, let's say the tip of nose is extremely blurry

but Lasik is way out of my financial league, and contacts? Hell no I'm not going to try and put something directly on my eyeball

GABBO GABBO GABBO

Last night I was building warhammer minis when a metal clipping flew into my eye.
It was not fun.

bongi

hey monkeybomb, babe

always look on the bright side of life

Quadrophenia

Contacts suck, man. When I got them, apparently hard contacts were best for my eyes for some reason which resulted in huge amounts of sucking. I'll bet that now if I tried to get contacts, I could probably get soft contacts but you know what? Fuck that, man. Glasses for life. Unless contacts will get me more chicks.

Monkeybomb

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

Rankenphile

Manifest wrote: »

Last night I was building warhammer minis when a metal clipping flew into my eye.
It was not fun.

tell the superglue story.

Monkeybomb

Thanks Bongi!

got a song in my heart :whistle:

Redeemer

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

Wash your hands then take it out and put it on your palm

Douse it in eye contact solution for a few seconds and put it back in

World as Myth

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

It might be on backwards. That's what always happened to me if I put a contact on inside-out.

Sheri

Whoa

This is pretty much exactly what it was like when I got my contacts

It never got easier

Which is why I still wear glasses every day.

Gafoto

Rankenphile wrote: »

Manifest wrote: »

Last night I was building warhammer minis when a metal clipping flew into my eye.
It was not fun.

tell the superglue story.

did he glue his dick to his leg

Ashcroft

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You have scratched your eye. Take the lens out and don't touch your eye until the feeling goes away or it will just keep getting worse.

Redeemer

World as Myth wrote: »

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

It might be on backwards. That's what always happened to me if I put a contact on inside-out.

Also, that too, yes

Backwards contacts suck

Monkeybomb

Sheri wrote: »

Whoa

This is pretty much exactly what it was like when I got my contacts

It never got easier

Which is why I still wear glasses every day.

See, Jean's all

"oh no it'll get much easier"

and I'm all

"I'M TOUCHING MY FUCKING EYE"

Monkeybomb

Ashcroft wrote: »

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You have scratched your eye. Take the lens out and don't touch your eye until the feeling goes away or it will just keep getting worse.

So I have eye cancer?

Sheri

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Sheri wrote: »

Whoa

This is pretty much exactly what it was like when I got my contacts

It never got easier

Which is why I still wear glasses every day.

See, Jean's all

"oh no it'll get much easier"

and I'm all

"I'M TOUCHING MY FUCKING EYE"

I'm sure it gets easier for some people.

It just didn't get easier for me. I wore them for prom and graduation and haven't put them back in since.

Besides, I look weird without glasses.

Rankenphile

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Sheri wrote: »

Whoa

This is pretty much exactly what it was like when I got my contacts

It never got easier

Which is why I still wear glasses every day.

See, Jean's all

"oh no it'll get much easier"

and I'm all

"I'M TOUCHING MY FUCKING EYE"

"BITCH THIS NEVER HAPPENED WITH GLASSES WHAT THE HELL WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME THE WAY I WAS WHEN YOU MET ME!?! BLIND STINKING DRUNK!"

Ashcroft

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Ashcroft wrote: »

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You have scratched your eye. Take the lens out and don't touch your eye until the feeling goes away or it will just keep getting worse.

So I have eye cancer?

Eye AIDS

EYEDS

Abracadaniel

i don't wanna poke my eyes so i wear glasses

plus they make me look better*

not like my brother

Moriarty

i got a concussion and now i'm farsighted and have hella floaters

GABBO GABBO GABBO

Rankenphile wrote: »

Manifest wrote: »

Last night I was building warhammer minis when a metal clipping flew into my eye.
It was not fun.

tell the superglue story.

So uh, I'm really blind without some sort of corrective lenses.
A couple of months ago I was sitting at my desk in the office when I went to put eyedrops in, as my eyes were itchy.
So I took off my glasses, and fumbled around til I found the bottle. Then, just as I was leaning back to squeeze them in my wife slapped the bottle out of my hand.
I'd picked up the superglue bottle, because it was right next to my eyedrops.

My wife actually managed to catch the glue mid air, and ended up with a long streak of it down her arm, but she saved my eye. Now the eye drops are kept very far from the glue.

Abracadaniel

holy shit marry that woman mani






















oh wait

Monkeybomb

Moriarty wrote: »

i got a concussion and now i'm farsighted and have hella floaters

Wait, you can contract floaters?

bongi

what does poop have to do with this

VulnoX

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You may have ripped the left one slightly taking it in and out, I did that to a couple times when I first started wearing them. That would cause them to not sit right and scratch on the eye.

Also, you may have slightly cut your eye, not a huge deal, usually heals overnight (the eye heals extremely quickly).

Both of these things happen when you first start learning to wear them, and both caused the symptoms you describe when I did it.

Good luck, after a week of regular use you won't even notice them.

Jordyn

holy shit Mani, that's hilarious.

That's like, in the bathroom...the mouthwash and the aftershave used to be very similar looking (until Fram switched aftershaves), but he always feared one day he would end up swirling a bunch of aftershave around in his mouth.

Rankenphile

VulnoX wrote: »

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You may have ripped the left one slightly taking it in and out, I did that to a couple times when I first started wearing them. That would cause them to not sit right and scratch on the eye.

Also, you may have slightly cut your eye, not a huge deal, usually heals overnight (the eye heals extremely quickly).

Both of these things happen when you first start learning to wear them, and both caused the symptoms you describe when I did it.

Good luck, after a week of regular use you won't even notice them.

that last part?

hugest fucking lie.

Cilla Black

Fuck contacts. I'll wear glasses till the day I die, unless laser eye surgery gets some better success statistics. (They're already not too awful but fuck, this is your eyesight on the line we're talking about)

Or maybe in the future there'll be cybereyes I can use to creep old people out with.

Monkeybomb

Okay so I'm not crazy to think this is a bad idea. I'm copying and pasting this to Jean.

I was just telling bongi that this is God's punishment for listening to a woman.

Sheri

Zilla84 wrote: »

Fuck contacts. I'll wear glasses till the day I die, unless laser eye surgery gets some better success statistics. (They're already not too awful but fuck, this is your eyesight on the line we're talking about)

Or maybe in the future there'll be cybereyes I can use to creep old people out with.

This is pretty much my philosophy.

I refuse to get laser eye correction until they don't have to include 'YOU MIGHT GO BLIND' in the stuff you have to sign.

VulnoX

Rankenphile wrote: »

VulnoX wrote: »

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Seriously, I can't even feel the right one, but this left one feels like I have an eyelash in my eye and the vision keeps on getting all screwed up.

Someone with contacts help me out here.

You may have ripped the left one slightly taking it in and out, I did that to a couple times when I first started wearing them. That would cause them to not sit right and scratch on the eye.

Also, you may have slightly cut your eye, not a huge deal, usually heals overnight (the eye heals extremely quickly).

Both of these things happen when you first start learning to wear them, and both caused the symptoms you describe when I did it.

Good luck, after a week of regular use you won't even notice them.

that last part?

hugest fucking lie.

Ok sorry, that depends on the person, and the length of time worn.

I notice mine when I start to get tired because my eyes tend to dry a bit, but my girlfriend never notices hers.

World as Myth

or you know your contact could just be inside-out

why is it always the alarmists that get all the attention

Monkeybomb

World as Myth wrote: »

or you know your contact could just be inside-out

why is it always the alarmists that get all the attention

Nah I checked and double-checked when I put it in.

Rankenphile

World as Myth wrote: »

or you know your contact could just be inside-out

why is it always the alarmists that get all the attention

which one would you listen to?

"Oh you probably have a cold, don't worry about it."

"That cough you have sounds exactly like your lungs are being filled with flesh-eating AIDS beetles."

Sheri

World as Myth wrote: »

or you know your contact could just be inside-out

why is it always the alarmists that get all the attention

I dunno WaM, maybe MB just went 'Well I checked before I put it in so I'm pretty sure it isn't.' :P

Cuz I know that every time I went to put mine in, I checked to make sure they weren't inside-out, because I was told to and I was all 'omg can't put them in inside out'

That seems like something someone who just pops their lenses in and out might do. People who are new to it keep checking and rechecking.

Or maybe I don't know

EDIT: SEEEEEEEE