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Dealing with Loss of a pet
Gnome-Interruptus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
TLDR: just looking for recommendations and suggestions or tips of how others deal with grief
So this morning started off like most mornings, but the start of winter means that it was -7c
While getting up and dressed the boy dog was waiting at the bedroom door with his tail wagging while the girl dog was still laying in her bed in a bunched up blanket.
My Fiancé took the dogs downstairs to let them out (two elderly chihuahuas Mango and Ginger)
This morning though Mango apparently froze up and had to be carried back inside, which we didn’t think too much about as it was the first really cold morning. And she placed him on a blanket on the couch where he usually lays until we put them in the kennel while we go to work.
Before I left to work I went over to give them both pets and loving but noticed that Mango was laid out on his side instead of curled into a ball, and for some reason I thought he looked sad. I went to get ready for work some more and heard him yip. I went to check on him again to see if the cat had attacked him or something. Then I noticed that he really wasn’t reacting to me and then noticed he had an accidental bowel movement. At first I thought maybe it was shame or fear and just cleaned it up, but he still wasn’t reacting, so my Fiancé picked him up and he was totally limp, and his tongue started hanging from the side of his mouth.
We immediately set him back down on his couch blanket and called the animal hospital to let them know we were coming. During this time he tried to stand up a couple of times but couldn’t get his feet under him.
During the drive to the hospital my Fiancé was holding him, and at one point she said she thinks he was gone, which was confirmed by the Vet Tech after we arrived.
My fiancé and I cried for a bit and held each other and both called into work that we would be taking a personal day.
Since we have gotten home again I keep noticing parts of my routines where Mango is missing, and it hurts in a dull ache.
Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest and open this up for other people to share stories or ways of dealing with grief and loss.
So this morning started off like most mornings, but the start of winter means that it was -7c
While getting up and dressed the boy dog was waiting at the bedroom door with his tail wagging while the girl dog was still laying in her bed in a bunched up blanket.
My Fiancé took the dogs downstairs to let them out (two elderly chihuahuas Mango and Ginger)
This morning though Mango apparently froze up and had to be carried back inside, which we didn’t think too much about as it was the first really cold morning. And she placed him on a blanket on the couch where he usually lays until we put them in the kennel while we go to work.
Before I left to work I went over to give them both pets and loving but noticed that Mango was laid out on his side instead of curled into a ball, and for some reason I thought he looked sad. I went to get ready for work some more and heard him yip. I went to check on him again to see if the cat had attacked him or something. Then I noticed that he really wasn’t reacting to me and then noticed he had an accidental bowel movement. At first I thought maybe it was shame or fear and just cleaned it up, but he still wasn’t reacting, so my Fiancé picked him up and he was totally limp, and his tongue started hanging from the side of his mouth.
We immediately set him back down on his couch blanket and called the animal hospital to let them know we were coming. During this time he tried to stand up a couple of times but couldn’t get his feet under him.
During the drive to the hospital my Fiancé was holding him, and at one point she said she thinks he was gone, which was confirmed by the Vet Tech after we arrived.
My fiancé and I cried for a bit and held each other and both called into work that we would be taking a personal day.
Since we have gotten home again I keep noticing parts of my routines where Mango is missing, and it hurts in a dull ache.
Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest and open this up for other people to share stories or ways of dealing with grief and loss.
MWO: Adamski
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Talking about it helps! I know it also might not help much right now, but being there when it happened and not having left for work at least meant he wasn't alone. It sounds like you both gave Mango the best life you possibly could, especially if he made it into his later years.
Don't be afraid to see a professional if the grief is difficult to deal with - loss is loss and pets are part of our families, too. It's reasonable to need support in a time like this.
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Even though it hurts, you don't want to move on, to resume your daily life as if they never existed. That fear is normal. Also, if you have any regrets, any guilt, it is very difficult to forgive yourself, even when you should. That's why it's useful to talk with other loved ones, to find an emotional center and share memories to ensure the presence and wishes of the departed will live on. Sometimes, a funeral or memorial helps with this, turning memories and sentiments that are at first painful into acceptance and peace. Good luck to you, your family, and your journey.
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
I've got his collar on the table by the door and it will stay there forever as far as I'm concerned.
Also we have these, to remind us. Highly recommend finding someone on Etsy that does these.
It will get better.
Island Name: Felinefine
We lost our first dog 4 years ago, and reading your story made me tear up all over again. Both because Smolf is no longer in our life, and because I know the pain you're going through.
Decorating for the holidays is rough, especially if you have special ornaments for your lost friends. I break down every time I unwrap my passed pet's ornaments when decorating the tree, I keep it in and walk ways when its too much but it always happens year after year.
As we all know grief if the price we pay for love and while I cherish the love I had for my cats I pay what I owe.
Edit: this probably was not helpful, just know others feel the hurt you feel and it will be OK.