What to do about roommate having a paranoid delusional episode

BahamutZERO

This is regarding a friend's roommate. They've gotten along well with their roommate for a while, but after my friend returned from a recent trip they were suddenly accused by text message of terrible, non-specific evildoing and generally being out to get them. Attempts to calmly discuss the situation and find out what my friend did wrong are reacted to as unreasonable and blaming with no hard answers for what they've done wrong. Claims are made of mysterious rooming agreements they supposedly made together without writing them down when they moved in together that my friend has not been living up to (there are no such agreements, it seems like they are inventing things in their mind). Things like my friend's friends not being over often enough or not interacting with the roommate enough (they actually have interacted with and included the roommate supposedly, was never expressed as an issue before, etc.), or the roomie's cat not liking my friend, are being imagined as personal insults against them, that kind of thing. It all just sounds so extreme and sudden all around that it strongly seems to me like the roommate may be having a psychotic episode rather than simply being a bad roommate. What can my friend do, either to help them or to at least protect themselves? It's obviously difficult to convince a person having a breakdown like this that they even need help.

Elaro

IANAP. I found these looking through DuckDuckGo for "what to do when someone is having a paranoid delusional breakdown".

https://verywellhealth.com/paranoid-delusions-5095908

https://psychcentral.com/schizophrenia/how-to-help-someone-with-paranoia#ways-to-support

https://brightquest.com/blog/how-to-reason-with-a-delusional-person-helping-a-sibling-with-delusional-disorder/

Cornucopiist

I think your friend should look to move out soonest. Once they are safe, they can contact relatives or friends of the roommate and inform them of the situation.
That takes care of their own safety, and their obligation to help someone in need, in that order.
Your friend might feel the situation is not yet that dramatic and that they owe the person more than a handover, but it sounds like this is already heading in the wrong direction and they want to just not be there for that.
Additionally, moving out later if things get worse is likely to be more urgent and result in more expense and a worse housing situation. It may create problems with the landlord, and depending on the situation the roommate may have to be informed beforehand and this may exacerbate the tensions.
Informing others of the issue is probably not going to be well received by the roommate whether or not they are having an episode. If they *are* and the roommate is already the center of their paranoia, that seems really dangerous and not a situation your friend should put themselves in.
There's a series of things that have to go just right for this situation to be manageable long term; starting with the roommate acknowledging there's an issue, seeking help, if needed starting medication and responding well to that medication. Hopefully people will be there for the roommate during that process, but it shouldn't be the person at risk and already the focus of ire.

BahamutZERO

Yeah, sounds like there's nothing easy they can do to make the situation livable for long, taking care of this person both does not seem possible and isn't their responsibility anyway. They were already planning to move out before this started, but their lease isn't up until late summer. At this point I'm hoping their roommate just mood swings out of it on their own.

darkmayo

Does your friend know any of the roomates family? This is totally a lets get this guy into the hospital so he can get the help he needs. Could be the start of Schizophrenia (is the roomate in his 20s?) I have a friend who developed it and when he is medicated he is fine, but he lapses sadly and then its paranoia time.

BahamutZERO

not sure, but would guess mid-to-late 20s to early 30s probably. I'll suggest it.

BahamutZERO

Update, hopefully conclusion on this story: the roommate removed themselves at some point last month, packed their things and moved out with no warning. Took some of my friend's stuff too, but at least it was nothing more irreplaceable than some kitchen wares. vOv

My friend's doing a lot better now. The roommate is still on the hook with the landlord for their rent for another 6 months so good luck to them with that.

Powerpuppies

Good luck to your friend!

Inquisitor77

I literally experienced this issue personally and, unfortunately, the only point at which it resolved was when my roommate had a psychotic break and ran to Santa Monica Pier naked. At which point he was arrested, put in emergency psychiatric care, and then, unfortunately, summarily deported (he was a graduate student on a student visa at the time).

It is very difficult (for good reason) to get someone help if they don't want it, and your friend is very far removed from being the type of person who can start that kind of process. Per previous recommendations, their best bet is to leave ASAP, contact any known relatives, and let them deal with it.

Anything else is just unnecessarily putting themselves in danger.