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What to do about roommate having a paranoid delusional episode
BahamutZERO
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This is regarding a friend's roommate. They've gotten along well with their roommate for a while, but after my friend returned from a recent trip they were suddenly accused by text message of terrible, non-specific evildoing and generally being out to get them. Attempts to calmly discuss the situation and find out what my friend did wrong are reacted to as unreasonable and blaming with no hard answers for what they've done wrong. Claims are made of mysterious rooming agreements they supposedly made together without writing them down when they moved in together that my friend has not been living up to (there are no such agreements, it seems like they are inventing things in their mind). Things like my friend's friends not being over often enough or not interacting with the roommate enough (they actually have interacted with and included the roommate supposedly, was never expressed as an issue before, etc.), or the roomie's cat not liking my friend, are being imagined as personal insults against them, that kind of thing. It all just sounds so extreme and sudden all around that it strongly seems to me like the roommate may be having a psychotic episode rather than simply being a bad roommate. What can my friend do, either to help them or to at least protect themselves? It's obviously difficult to convince a person having a breakdown like this that they even need help.
BahamutZERO on
+1
Posts
https://verywellhealth.com/paranoid-delusions-5095908
https://psychcentral.com/schizophrenia/how-to-help-someone-with-paranoia#ways-to-support
https://brightquest.com/blog/how-to-reason-with-a-delusional-person-helping-a-sibling-with-delusional-disorder/
That takes care of their own safety, and their obligation to help someone in need, in that order.
Your friend might feel the situation is not yet that dramatic and that they owe the person more than a handover, but it sounds like this is already heading in the wrong direction and they want to just not be there for that.
Additionally, moving out later if things get worse is likely to be more urgent and result in more expense and a worse housing situation. It may create problems with the landlord, and depending on the situation the roommate may have to be informed beforehand and this may exacerbate the tensions.
Informing others of the issue is probably not going to be well received by the roommate whether or not they are having an episode. If they *are* and the roommate is already the center of their paranoia, that seems really dangerous and not a situation your friend should put themselves in.
There's a series of things that have to go just right for this situation to be manageable long term; starting with the roommate acknowledging there's an issue, seeking help, if needed starting medication and responding well to that medication. Hopefully people will be there for the roommate during that process, but it shouldn't be the person at risk and already the focus of ire.
My friend's doing a lot better now. The roommate is still on the hook with the landlord for their rent for another 6 months so good luck to them with that.
It is very difficult (for good reason) to get someone help if they don't want it, and your friend is very far removed from being the type of person who can start that kind of process. Per previous recommendations, their best bet is to leave ASAP, contact any known relatives, and let them deal with it.
Anything else is just unnecessarily putting themselves in danger.