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The Holy Grail: The Threesome
powerss
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I've been with my girlfriend for three and a half years, and I'm looking to spice it up.
Does anyone have any experience with this - where to get started, thoughts on problems down the line, et cetera?
Or should I just forget the idea.
Does anyone have any experience with this - where to get started, thoughts on problems down the line, et cetera?
Or should I just forget the idea.
powerss on
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How's your girlfriend feel about the idea?
So whereas the idea of a threesome SOUNDS good on paper, in practice its sloppy. And you mentioned you are looking to spice it up, which means your idea? Well ok, you suggest it, she says yes just to make you happy, it leads to problems later since really, who wants to watch their significant other get it on with someone? Or she says no, and then uses it against you. Not something you want to mess with.
The ideal scenario would be for HER to suggest it (and not because you directly hint at it), suggesting that she completely is for the idea and at this point, it'd be less likely to turn out badly. So unless this is the case, I suggest you try and find another way to spice things up, really.
And yes, it would be another female.
Umm, no. You're wrong.
And what if she says sure, and already has another guy picked out?
Even if that's the case, I'm willing to bet on the "Horribly rejected and kicked in the nuts" rather then the "O hey threesome sure!".
However, there is one question that will improve his odds.
Is the girlfreind Bi?
FINDING the other girl.
The reason it didn't work for me and my ex (ex for unrelated reasons), was because he wanted ME to find the other girl and do all the work to convince her to join us in rhapsody and all that.
That turned me off the idea, because it was easy enough to get other girls interested in fooling around with me, but not with the both of us at the same time.
So, my advice if she does seem interested in the idea, and you work out the other issues, (at least upfront, all sorts of things pop up in the future.) that you take a very proactive hand in helping the fantasy along if she doesn't want all the responsibility.
Nothing is worse then the idea that "the fact we're not having threesomes is your fault, try harder."
Excellent points. I will keep this in mind.
So you want her to be okay with another girl in your bed, but you're not okay with having another guy there? That's not very Good, Giving, and Game of you.
Also, if it does work out, do *NOT* use a girl that you both already know/are friends with. That is a recipe for a fucking disaster.
First of all, why do you want to "spice it up" with another woman? There are great many other ways to enjoy a healthy sex life without adding another person into the mix... And when added to the fact that you seemed horrified at the prospect of another guy instead of another girl, to be truthful, it sounds more like you just want to fuck another woman, and if that is the case, man up and break it off and just find another woman...
If that is not the case and you really are looking to spice things up, I suggest mentioning to her that you are bored with your sex life and want to spice things up and come up with ideas TOGETHER. Don't just surprise her one day with "sex has become boring, how about another chick?"
Or... perhaps you should mention to her that you want to spice up your love life, and she what ideas she has that maybe doesn't involve you jeopardizing your entire relationship...
The way I brought it up with my wife, and the way I think is probably the best, is to directly state a) your desire for more than one partner and b) that this does not mean that you don't love her (assuming that's actually the case).
What I said to my wife was something along the lines of "The desire for more than one sexual partner is something that's always been a part of me, as much as any other personality trait of mine. I've always fantasized about it, always wanted to do it, and always wanted to see you do it, too. If we don't do swinging it would be something that I'd miss, but no matter what I'll always love you and I'll never leave you whether or not we have sex with other people." A few months later we went to our first swing club , that was 3 years ago, and we've been doing multiple partners ever since. Of course, we were also together for 9 years and married for 5 before I brought it up, so that might play a part in it, too.
:winky:
Shogun Streams Vidya
How dan savage of you.
I have my doubts that the first idea would actually work (I know it was in jest).
I do think that you should at least talk to get about getting things more spiced up... but Sentry is right, you should ask her and kind of play around with different ideas.
It's understandable if your relationship is on the rocks and you're looking pretty desperately for some spice. Someone invariably gets hurt when this kind of thing's involved and I've never seen the point aside from some (really fucking minor) bragging rights the next day.
Avoid, it really isn't worth it. Oh, and it really isn't the holy grail.
Yeah, exactly.
Anybody who knows me knows that I have absolutely no problem with group experiences and I'm not one of the fearmongers who will tell you that all threesomes end in disaster or some such thing.
However if you have to "broach the subject," don't. If it hasn't come up naturally in the last three years, it isn't going to happen.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
If she needs to be talked into it, persuaded, and begged - maybe you shouldn't go ahead. She'll feel resentful if she doesn't enjoy the thought of it, feel like the entire thing was like watching you cheat on her, etc. etc. I mean, if she's straight and doesn't want to touch the other girl, it's not like she'll be having the same fun with it you are.
If she's bi and has mentioned being open to the idea in the past, then go ahead.
Looking for a SBiF? Swingers websites. Google "swingers" and/or "lifestyle". Better, though, are to go to the on-premise (that is, sex allowed on premise) clubs. That's probably your best bet...of relatively long shot options. I've mentioned this before on here, but it bears repeating: There's a reason the hot single bi female is also known as the "unicorn".
pleasepaypreacher.net
wait...what?
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
This was my sentiment exactly.
Let's not be so hasty with conclusions.
The guy is saying "i want a threesome" and you're saying "uh oh! sounds like you're unhappy! better break up!"
What the fuck.
Untrue. Fantastically, wonderfully untrue.
Only if one person is holding back or being selfish about why they're doing it. Sex isnt' some magical mystery - it's rubbing your slippery bits on someone else for fun. If you're fooling around with two people, be honest about why (sex feels good) and be extra giving.
Truth. See also legal brothels.
I don't know ege, it sounds like "Well I want to have a sexual threesome, (even to go as far to name the subject The holy Grail: The Threesome) and I have been with my girl for 3+ years so she obviously has some affection for me, maybe it's time I can worm my way into using that against her to do a sexual act I fantasize about, but she might not be to fond of" Especially with his responses regarding convincing her.
If you want to fuck 2 girls at the same time, and you don't know if your current g/f of 3 years would be down for it, the answer is probably no she wouldn't. If you think that fucking another woman with your g/f will "spice up" your love life then you are looking at it from a purely selfish viewpoint, seeing you get to live out a male fantasy and hoping that in pleasing you, your partner is somehow enriched.
So yeah my advice break up with your girl if this is what you want and go get a couple hookers for an evening.
pleasepaypreacher.net
No, wrong. He didn't say "hey, I want a threesome", he said "hey, I want to spice up my current relationship by having a threesome" and THEN he responded very shocked when some suggested the idea of having a second guy instead of girl... While there is nothing definitive, this does scream "i want to fuck someone else without breaking up with my current girl."
If I am wrong, however (AS I said earlier) then I suggested working WITH his gf to try and spice up their sex life, as a threesome is not the only way to get some excitement out of sex.
He wants to act out a fantasy, and his fantasy has only one penis. You would be hard pressed to find a man who prefers a 2 man-1 woman setup over a 2 woman-1 man setup. I think it's a difficult fantasy to enact, but he doesn't think so, along with others here, and as long as it is understood as simply a fantasy there should be no real issues.
We never got it to work, cause she wanted me to find a chick, and I wanted her to find a chick.
I think it would have worked with some teamwork. If we both worked a little harder, dammit, it could have worked.
But yeah, I knew she was probably into it and she brought it up to me. It wasn't that big of a surprise.
Just give some warning first - I'll need to heat up the popcorn.
Also, there's the finding of the 3rd. You may find that if you chat up the 3rd, she may want to play with you and not your girl; and if she chats up the 3rd, she may want to play with your girl, but not you.