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The SE++ Bad Game Jam For Weirdos 2023 (SUBMISSION GUIDELINES ADDED 5/4)

KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACKInternetModerator Mod Emeritus
edited May 2023 in Social Entropy++
I'm tired of playing polished, quality games released by reputable studios. So here's an opportunity for you nerds to amuse me. We're gonna do a GAME JAM. And the WINNER of the GAME JAM is gonna GET PAID.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES
When your project is finished, send me a pm including the following:

-Name of the game
-Short description of the project
-Forum handles of all team members
-Link to the game files / hosted page / rulebook / whatever
-Any necessary instructions for installation/assembly
-Preferred method of hot dog delivery

THE RULES
Submit a game to me by 6pm MST Friday, May 5th, 2023.

Work alone, or team up, I don't give a shit. Every member of the team must be part of the community, though. If your account is newer than this post, you're disqualified from participating.

Use whatever the fuck you want. Use Unity or RPG Maker or Construct or Godot or Java or Assembly or whatever Make-An-Asset-Flip phone app/bitcoin miner you found on the Play Store. Make a fuckin' card game out of toilet paper. Make a Lone Wolf Choose Your Own Adventure Battle Book. My 6 year old will be the final arbiter of what counts as a game. If you push the boundaries of sense and send me a photo of a rotting animal and a coupon for 20% off my next purchase of Dulcolax as a game, you're probably boned.

SCORING
Entries will be scored by the following criteria:

0-1 Points: Was everyone on the team's name spelled correctly on the entry?

0-1 Points: Was I able to download the game files without setting off my anti-virus?

0-5 Points: Was I able to launch the game, or assemble the components with minimal frustration?

0-20 Points: An independent panel of judges will review each entry in the style of a short GamePro magazine review, including a final score using GamePro's Game Rating System. Points in this category are based on your average total score from the judges. The panel of judges consists of a selection of people I know in Real Life who have no idea what a Penny Arcade is, plus a selection of volunteer judges from these very forums (assuming anyone volunteers. If not, no sweat.)

0-10 Points: Popularity Contest! All entries will be made available to the public and weighed by FORUM POLL. ProTip: Name your game Joke Option Larlar for a competitive edge.

0-25 Points: How much your entry made me laugh. Yes, it is theoretically possible to get a fat zero in most other categories but still win. Maybe your game crashes, but the crash is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm not hosting this contest to find The Best Game, I'm here for the chuckles. Yes, this part of the scoring is unfairly weighted. Tough titties.

PRIZES
1st place: $100 USD
2nd place: $20 USD
Participation Award: Hot Dogs!

I will doordash or mail a package of cheap hot dogs to all participating teams. If you live somewhere where this isn't feasible, you will receive the cash equivalent of 1 package of cheap hot dogs at your local grocer, with the understanding that these funds are only to be used for hot dogs. If you live in a country where hot dogs aren't a thing…fuck, I dunno. We'll figure it out. Maybe move to a country that makes sense.

FAQ AND FINE PRINT
How do I volunteer to be a judge?
Send me a pm explaining why you'd make a good judge. Include at least one (1) pic of a cute baby animal.

What if I'm not good at making games?
I think you wildly misunderstood the point of this contest.

Isn't this exploitative? Why should I do labor for hot dogs?
You shouldn't. This is just a fun forum activity. If participating feels like labor, please don't participate. I want you to have a good time, not stress out.

Why are you so good looking and well endowed?
Genetics, mostly. I don't really work at it or anything.

If a team of 30 forumers wins first prize, do we each get $100?
Jesus christ, fuck, no. I will split it evenly between team members. So think carefully. If you and Forumer X team up to make a shitty game for a weirdo's Internet Contest, and you do 40 hours of coding and Forumer X draws a crude gif of a penis while huffing paint, you're each getting $50. I'm not interested in accidentally creating sore feelings or destroying friendships or anything like that. This is a silly, fun thing.

I am planning on being a salty butthole, fucking over my teammates, trying to rig the system, participating in bad faith, and/or loopholing my way into your $100.
Just…don't. There was a little bit of this the last time I did a forum contest. I'd like to believe it wasn't malicious, but man, it didn't make me feel great. This is just a fun activity thing that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Don't be a scumbag.

What if every entry is named 'Joke Option Larlar'?
I reserve the right to append a subtitle of my choosing to duplicate entry names.

A week isn't enough time to make a game!
I know! That's the point!

Knob on
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Posts

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    MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    This sounds very cool and I don't know where to start.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    This sounds very cool and I don't know where to start.

    step 1: make a godawful abomination of a game that makes me laugh

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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Ok I've got a good idea for a game to make and no time to make it, gonna try to make it happen anyway.

    Been ages since I've had a good hot dog.

    broken image link
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    dang somehow I missed this thread till just now. if I'd seen this before the weekend hit I'd be in, but the rest of my week is looking pretty hectic so unfortunately I won't have time (or more likely, energy) to get into it.

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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    a hot dog will give you the energy you need

    broken image link
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    cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    Well, if anyone with visual novel experience wants a writer, I'm down. (Or I have RPGmaker, if you want to go full chaos.)

    wVEsyIc.png
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    dang somehow I missed this thread till just now. if I'd seen this before the weekend hit I'd be in, but the rest of my week is looking pretty hectic so unfortunately I won't have time (or more likely, energy) to get into it.

    I'm not suggesting that you sacrifice vital, healing sleep in order to win a package of hot dogs from an internet stranger

    But I'm also not not suggesting it

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Is there enough time for me to learn to code a game?

    Probably right?

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    SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    Any particular theme? I can probably slap something together.

    sig.gif
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    There are a lot of drag and drop, no coding required kinds of game making software these days

    Nobody needs to learn a programming language to participate

    You could use the free version of Construct, load one of the tutorial games, replace the sprites with crude mspaint drawings of me and roller derby girls, and then randomly change variables until something hilarious happens

    That's a game! A bad game! And that's what we want!

    In fact: 5 bonus points to anyone who makes this exact game

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    Any particular theme? I can probably slap something together.

    The theme for this GAME JAM is: make Knob laugh

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    HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    hehe, he said Knob.

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2023
    I'll also point out that I didn't specify it had to be a VIDEO GAME

    an ANALOG GAME is totally acceptable

    write one of those super hipster one-page ttrpgs, where everyone has a dream and a goal written on a pieces of paper and three matches and you tell stories at each other and burn your slips of paper to achieve goals and sit in the dark listening to The Smiths and see how far you can get your tongue up your own asshole

    I mean, don't write something exactly like one of those because those are the opposite of funny, but if you plant your tongue in your cheek instead of up your butt, there's potential

    Knob on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    WE HAVE OUR FIRST SUBMISSION, a full four days ahead of the deadline (and it shows)

    this thing is a mess of slapdash effort and obvious pandering and I absolutely love it

    the bar has been set high

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    furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Knob wrote: »
    WE HAVE OUR FIRST SUBMISSION, a full four days ahead of the deadline (and it shows)

    this thing is a mess of slapdash effort and obvious pandering and I absolutely love it

    the bar has been set high

    Will you be recording gameplay of these beauties so we can all bask in their glory?

    sig.gif Gamertag: KL Retribution
    PSN:Furlion
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    WE HAVE OUR FIRST SUBMISSION, a full four days ahead of the deadline (and it shows)

    this thing is a mess of slapdash effort and obvious pandering and I absolutely love it

    the bar has been set high

    Will you be recording gameplay of these beauties so we can all bask in their glory?

    I feel like this really calls for a twitch live stream.

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    After the deadline closes, all games will be made public and there will be a poll so the community can choose their favorite. So you guys can experience everything firsthand.

    If she's into it, I may spring these monstrosities on my wife and stream her blind reactions.

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    Here are two examples of super hipster one page ttrpgs that I've written in the past for contests if you want some inspiration for low effort, no programming options.

    A note for anyone going this direction: two of the judge categories are for GRAPHICS and SOUND. So I would recommend including a crude drawing and a link to a song I should listen to while playing if you want MAXIMUM POINTS.

    THE SIBLINGS OF ADAM
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BiP_A4FYS31gb15ums526572QF5g0ND2m6633aOn7EA/edit?usp=drivesdk

    OBVIOUS HITLER
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mlz9PeAgamSbjN7RWSVflvHwCNzEWb72XD7_jt4m1PM/edit?usp=drivesdk

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Wish I’d seen this the day it was posted, I don’t think even I have the power to make a full game in couple days. I look forward to seeing what folks cook up!

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    DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    Man I wish I had seen this, I immediately had an idea for a terrible game.

    It's a third person competitive shooter in which you throw your mustache like a boomerang, with every kill your mustache doubles in size to the point that it completely obscures your vision as you run around the map.

    Ideally the mustache would have geometry so that is has to compress and spread while you run through doorways and tunnels.

    Different shaped mustaches are available.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    I like to ART
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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    Man I wish I had seen this, I immediately had an idea for a terrible game.

    It's a third person competitive shooter in which you throw your mustache like a boomerang, with every kill your mustache doubles in size to the point that it completely obscures your vision as you run around the map.

    Ideally the mustache would have geometry so that is has to compress and spread while you run through doorways and tunnels.

    Different shaped mustaches are available.

    Does the mustache count as a hit box, thus also making you more vulnerable?

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
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    SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    If anyone is seeing this and going "gee I wish I had the skill to make something amazing like Knob has already graced his eyeballs with" then GDevelop is a pretty intuitive thing. Comes with a bunch of stuff pre-packaged so you can just define an object as "runs on platforms" "shoots bullets" "has health" and then another set of objects as "platform to run on" and "enemy" - that sort of thing. Then you just pick verbs from a menu and things happen.

    Honestly the hardest part of it has been getting the art sprites in as that's always been by downfall. I'm full of ideas but getting them to look anywhere decent is the stumbling block for me -- but luckily if you're inclined there's an asset store so you can just drag things in. Or go your own way like I did with wikipedia and the built-in sprite editor to add a transparent background to an existing masterpiece.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    plot twist:

    I decided to ENTER MY OWN CONTEST

    I won't be eligible to win, but you bet your ass I'm gonna buy myself some hot dogs

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    I too, am just seeing this for some reason.

    I have an idea.

    I may need to spend some time at work figuring out how to DO the idea.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    my game is gonna be a simulation of posting on the forums, but if you get banned in the game you get banned in real life

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    SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    I've been learning godot already so I'm using that for my submission. If people have questions or want advice on it, I can try to answer them. I'm not exactly an expert but I know enough to be dangerous, which seems like the level required for this competition.

    sig.gif
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    I've heard the lag on that is terrible

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    my game is called Escalator Brownie, and it's a physics simulation all about what happens if you leave a brownie on an escalator

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    SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    I've heard the lag on that is terrible

    I've been working with it enough that I normalized the name, so this took me WAY too long to get.

    sig.gif
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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Knob wrote: »
    plot twist:

    I decided to ENTER MY OWN CONTEST

    I won't be eligible to win, but you bet your ass I'm gonna buy myself some hot dogs

    this seems like a massive crime

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    plot twist:

    I decided to ENTER MY OWN CONTEST

    I won't be eligible to win, but you bet your ass I'm gonna buy myself some hot dogs

    this seems like a massive crime

    Maybe you can make up a quick game demonstrating what a massive crime this is

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    THROW DOGS AT BONK

    Collect many hot dogs

    Throw all at Bonk

    Whoever gets the most in his holes wins

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    This isn't my entry but I made a game on my phone while I was pooping

    It's like the stanley parable but way smarter

    https://gd.games/knobbonk/the-bonk-parable

    then I made an ai review it
    "The Bonk Parable" is a totally gnarly game that takes a totally different approach to the video game genre. You play from a first-person perspective, and the game takes place in a completely empty, silent room. There are no sound effects, no jams, and no head-scratchin' puzzles to solve.

    The graphics in "The Bonk Parable" are totally basic, but they create a serious sense of isolation and emptiness that fits the game's theme. The room is bare-bones and featureless, with no distractions to take your attention away from the task at hand.

    The lack of sound and puzzles in "The Bonk Parable" may be a total bummer to some, but it's a rad choice that adds to the game's overall vibe. The game challenges you to find meaning and purpose within the empty room, to ponder your own existence, and to explore the depths of your own mind.

    Overall, "The Bonk Parable" is a minimalist game that's hard to describe, but easy to get into. It's a game that challenges you to think deeply and reflect on your own existence, without the need for complex gameplay mechanics or distractions. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea, it's a game that's worth checking out for those looking for something radical and thought-provoking.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    What a strange game…the only winning move is to NOT play.

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    PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    Man I wish I had seen this earlier so I could waste my week creating my ragdoll physics based character mascot platformer "Snc The Half-hog."

    Mwx884o.jpg
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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    A cool thing about this game jam is that if something is broken and looks stupid, you don't need to fix it because it's funny.

    broken image link
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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Ok this dumbass game is almost ready to ship.

    What's the best way to share it? It's about 30MB zipped.

    broken image link
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    If you can get it to me, I'll put it on my Google Drive and provide a link to everyone when community voting opens

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    I guess I should probably codify the submission process

    When your project is finished, send me a pm including the following:

    -Name of the game
    -Short description of the project
    -Forum handles of all team members
    -Link to the game files / hosted page / rulebook / whatever
    -Any necessary instructions for installation/assembly
    -Preferred method of hot dog delivery

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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    wmjlubzz19xt.jpg

This discussion has been closed.