Options

scariest animal you could probably kill in a fight

SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEADmargaritavilleRegistered User regular
see topic. no ranged weapons (guns crossbows etc, but you can throw a rock or something. not a grenade dont be cute). stuff like a knife is in my opinion fine IMO. you are wearing climate appropriate clothing.

i definitely think i could kill a fox. im not stupid enough to think i could take a wolf or a bear ofc.

stuff like birds of prey are weird, i think if they get me by surprise then they just slit my throat in a divebomb type manuever but i can't imagine that a falcon's ribcage could stand up to a hard kick from an adult human. so its really a matter of who gets who unawares.

i could definitely defeat all rodents. hbu?

gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
«1345678

Posts

  • Options
    proxy_hueproxy_hue Registered User regular
    does it have to be like, a stand up fight? cause i bet it's not too hard to poison a moose or whatever

  • Options
    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Probably a hippopotamus.

    I'd simply offer it all of the marbles it could eat and then wait.

  • Options
    SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    proxy_hue wrote: »
    does it have to be like, a stand up fight? cause i bet it's not too hard to poison a moose or whatever

    i think if you can slip away thats your advantage to make use of. but i don't think you get to show up with industrial moose poison in your pocket. OSP

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • Options
    discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    I could probably kill all spiders.
    I'm not sure if they're the scariest animal, but they're pretty high up there.

  • Options
    chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    This is one of those topics I think about on my own, probably more often than anyone needs to.
    I'm pretty certain I could take a reasonably large dog. If I had good-sized knife or some and were in an enclosed space, I'd be fairly confident in taking down a small deer or antelope, something along those lines. Pretty much any domestic cow, don't care how big.

    Oh wait, it's how scary, not how big. Ok, yeah, back to reasonably large dog.

  • Options
    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    An average human.

    zkHcp.jpg
  • Options
    SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    oh yeah lol. i could probably kill people. i mean its a mirror match really

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • Options
    durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    I feel like there's an important distinction between "could kill" and "could kill without also dying". Like if you stab something a few times it might die of an infection, right?

    Take a moment to donate what you can to Critical Resistance and Black Lives Matter.
  • Options
    Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    I stand by most healthy adults being able to take on all flight capable birds. Their bones are just too weak to take a solid hit from a mammal

    The Scariest part of this prompt leads to all arthropods. Lotta folks scared of spiders, fully capable of stomping down on one.

    VRXwDW7.png
  • Options
    proxy_hueproxy_hue Registered User regular
    edited July 2023
    i bet i could kill a king cobra, that's pretty scary right? almost certainly not going to survive that encounter, but the venom takes enough time that i should be able to get a killing stab in there.

    proxy_hue on
  • Options
    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    A below average human. Like a Mitch McConnell or maybe an Alex Jones if the latter isn’t so hopped up on amphetamines as to be functionally unkillable.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • Options
    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    I could beat a panda in a fight. I would just dress like a super sexy panda and it would be like, "Fuck, am I expected to have sex?" and it would die on the spot.

  • Options
    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    edited July 2023
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I could beat a panda in a fight. I would just dress like a super sexy panda and it would be like, "Fuck, am I expected to have sex?" and it would die on the spot.

    I feel like your plan has one significant point of potential backfire that you may not be fully appreciating.

    minor incident on
    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • Options
    CelloCello Registered User regular
    I admit I've become even more of a softy as I've gotten older and I don't even like killing like 98% of bugs

    Even bugs get a chance before they're actively biting me or like, hanging out in my stuff, trying to live on my phone screen, and I feel bad about it

    I think I'd have to feel really seriously threatened to kill anything that isn't immediately triggering my "ah heck that's a creepy thing!!" response

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • Options
    JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    proxy_hue wrote: »
    i bet i could kill a king cobra, that's pretty scary right? almost certainly not going to survive that encounter, but the venom takes enough time that i should be able to get a killing stab in there.

    https://youtu.be/gN8oDuWJVSk

  • Options
    miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    one billion lions

    uc3ufTB.png
  • Options
    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I could kill a small to medium octopus.

    I don't want to. I would not relish it. But I could do it.

  • Options
    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    edited July 2023
    Bullfighting seems fun. So long as I had the sword. That's probably the most common one on one fight between a human and larger animal where the human wins.

    Hunting boar seems doable. Preferably with ye old boat spear. But a knife would be acceptable. Would be heavily in the boar's favour as that was generally done in groups and on horseback and even then the boars regularly killed knights and noblemen.

    Umm, without any weapons all? I'd say dog. Fun fact: it's 100% legal to kill a dog in NZ if the dog is attacking a human, native wildlife, domestic or farm animal.

    I know lots of unarmed tips for dealing with larger animals, but they're not really about winning so much as more "how to survive the encounter with most of your limbs".

    Gvzbgul on
  • Options
    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    But I don't want to kill any animals.

    I would just run away. Wait I don't like running. I would simply take a bus away.

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
  • Options
    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Pretty sure I could kill a lion.
    I mean, if it got high cholesterol and fatal heart disease from eating my greasy corpse, that still counts as a draw, right?

  • Options
    LasbrookLasbrook It takes a lot to make a stew When it comes to me and youRegistered User regular
    Are we fighting on their turf or mine? Because there's like a billion scary things in the ocean that if you brought on land I think I could take pretty easily. All that deep ocean shit that's evolved to an environment with no light that look utterly alien. If we're fighting in the ocean nevermind, I'm not a billionaire I ain't going down there.

  • Options
    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    I am an apex predator

  • Options
    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I could beat a panda in a fight. I would just dress like a super sexy panda and it would be like, "Fuck, am I expected to have sex?" and it would die on the spot.

    I feel like your plan has one significant point of potential backfire that you may not be fully appreciating.

    Yeah but like, emphasis on potential am I right?

    Oh, what's this? I'm hearing I am not right?

  • Options
    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    If I'm gonna kill an actual animal and not just a right wing dipshit I'm gonna need to know that the animal is a serious piece of shit. Like, it's gotta be a real rank asshole, otherwise I don't think I'd have the heart.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • Options
    WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    this question seems like a trap. did a scary animal write it

  • Options
    SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    I admit I've become even more of a softy as I've gotten older and I don't even like killing like 98% of bugs

    Even bugs get a chance before they're actively biting me or like, hanging out in my stuff, trying to live on my phone screen, and I feel bad about it

    I think I'd have to feel really seriously threatened to kill anything that isn't immediately triggering my "ah heck that's a creepy thing!!" response

    you have been kidnapped by a shadow organization and they will start blowing up loved ones if you don't participate

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • Options
    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    I admit I've become even more of a softy as I've gotten older and I don't even like killing like 98% of bugs

    Even bugs get a chance before they're actively biting me or like, hanging out in my stuff, trying to live on my phone screen, and I feel bad about it

    I think I'd have to feel really seriously threatened to kill anything that isn't immediately triggering my "ah heck that's a creepy thing!!" response

    you have been kidnapped by a shadow organization and they will start blowing up loved ones if you don't participate

    Is that true of the animal as well, or are they in it for love of the game?

  • Options
    SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    it's like a weird sex thing for them

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • Options
    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    I admit I've become even more of a softy as I've gotten older and I don't even like killing like 98% of bugs

    Even bugs get a chance before they're actively biting me or like, hanging out in my stuff, trying to live on my phone screen, and I feel bad about it

    I think I'd have to feel really seriously threatened to kill anything that isn't immediately triggering my "ah heck that's a creepy thing!!" response

    you have been kidnapped by a shadow organization and they will start blowing up loved ones if you don't participate

    Is that true of the animal as well, or are they in it for love of the game?

    that animal just has one more week on the job until retirement

  • Options
    JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    But their job is working for Wells Fargo

  • Options
    CelloCello Registered User regular
    Ah fuck well in this case at minimum I could take a sloth that is wielding a knife, I think realistically I've trained most at hand to hand combat so anything with serious fangs is probably out, could maybe fuck up a primate so long as I can get a good grapple in?

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • Options
    discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    We're persistence predators, yeah?
    So getting the animal to give up and go home, before randomly turning up at its den and beaning it with rocks so it can't sleep and eventually karks it counts, right?

  • Options
    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    I'm actually way more scared of other primates than anything else save like, very big canids, cats, or animals just fully larger than I am.

    Primates are fucking vicious and they are shockingly strong. Chimps have strong enough grips to literally rip you apart.

  • Options
    Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    I could take Bigfoot.

    *waits in empty arena for an hour*

    "Yeah that's what I thought, you were too much of a coward to show!"

    There was a steam sig here. It's gone now.
  • Options
    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    i probably couldn't kill most animals

    like from an emotional standpoint

    in a fight i'd aim to do the least damage possible in order to disengage

    broken image link
  • Options
    CelloCello Registered User regular
    3cl1ps3 wrote: »
    I'm actually way more scared of other primates than anything else save like, very big canids, cats, or animals just fully larger than I am.

    Primates are fucking vicious and they are shockingly strong. Chimps have strong enough grips to literally rip you apart.

    Okay but what if I lock it into a Figure 4

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • Options
    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    Raiden333 wrote: »
    I could take Bigfoot.

    *waits in empty arena for an hour*

    "Yeah that's what I thought, you were too much of a coward to show!"

    bigfoot's been in this game for longer than you've been alive. he's not falling for this one.

    liEt3nH.png
  • Options
    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    Duke 2.0 wrote: »
    I stand by most healthy adults being able to take on all flight capable birds. Their bones are just too weak to take a solid hit from a mammal

    The Scariest part of this prompt leads to all arthropods. Lotta folks scared of spiders, fully capable of stomping down on one.

    I appreciate the distinction. Nobody here has the stones to fight a cassowary.

    aTBDrQE.jpg
  • Options
    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    I would put Bigfoot in the Sharpshooter, yeah. On a moral and emotional level, I’m okay with that.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • Options
    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    I would put Bigfoot in the Sharpshooter, yeah. On a moral and emotional level, I’m okay with that.

    bigfoot shot jfk???

    liEt3nH.png
Sign In or Register to comment.