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Handjobs. (sex-ish)
Strain 121
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So my first serious girlfriend is a newbie at this whole thing, just as much as I am. When we're fooling around (just hands at the moment) I like to think myself as doing a pretty decent job... she certainly sounds like she enjoys it at least...
Anyways, the problem lies in that what she does to me just hurts more than anything. I kind of feel bad because I am pretty sure she's noticing that I don't really seem to enjoy it as much as she would think. She's told me before that I need to tell her what I want, but... how am I supposed to know really? What she's doing would be fantastic if there was any sort of lubrication but there really just isn't at all so there's a bunch of friction which makes my wang pretty sore the day after. I'm not sure how to correct this.
So... what do I tell her? Oh and if you guys have any tips on improving my own skills then go for it. I'm not sure but I think I found her clit. And kinda deep in there (in the actual canal) there was this like thing that.. I dunno how to describe it but it felt like it was like hanging in there or something? It was somewhat small, like the size of a grape or something. But she seemed to like that. Does anyone know what that would be?
Anyways, the problem lies in that what she does to me just hurts more than anything. I kind of feel bad because I am pretty sure she's noticing that I don't really seem to enjoy it as much as she would think. She's told me before that I need to tell her what I want, but... how am I supposed to know really? What she's doing would be fantastic if there was any sort of lubrication but there really just isn't at all so there's a bunch of friction which makes my wang pretty sore the day after. I'm not sure how to correct this.
So... what do I tell her? Oh and if you guys have any tips on improving my own skills then go for it. I'm not sure but I think I found her clit. And kinda deep in there (in the actual canal) there was this like thing that.. I dunno how to describe it but it felt like it was like hanging in there or something? It was somewhat small, like the size of a grape or something. But she seemed to like that. Does anyone know what that would be?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Strain 121 on
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Anyway, most women aren't terribly good and hand jobs, giving head is hit and miss also.
You need to tell her what to do. She's not going to learn if someone doesn't tell her what to do. Also I'd wager each guy is different also so they need to adjust and be told how to adjust.
Satans..... hints.....
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
For women giving you handjobs, though - lube all the way, and tell her what feels good and what doesn't - she'll learn and you'll learn to love it. That is, until she learns how to do it just as a tease and can keep you on the edge without cumming for as long as she wants to, the evil bitch.
ahem
I mean, yeah, just lube it up and tell her what feels good - try directing her yourself, as in literally holding her hand...
If you want to go further you will have to give her the details, most girls are awful at it. For example, tell her to use the palm of her hand instead of fingers.
If you drop the whole idea that you are supposed to know exactly what you're doing and make it all about finding out together you'll be more relaxed, have more fun, and feel like you're learning together.
But I am with romanqwerty here, the mess just isn't worth it in the long run, but since this is as far as your going for now it will have to do.
Listen OP, you have, uh, given yourself handjobs on occasion, yes? Then you really should be able to figure out what she's doing that you don't, or vice versa. Don't be afraid to tell her and explain why. "See, the head of my wang is a lot like your clit, and you wouldn't go to town on it when it's dry, would you? Hold onto this other part and you can do whatever you want."
By comparing what you do to what she does, it should become pretty obvious what she needs to do. I suspect that maybe the actual problem is that you're afraid to actually tell her. Well, that's easy; get over it. If she's anywhere near well-adjusted, she'll appreciate the tips as much as I'm sure you appreciate hers.
There is a Nina Hartley movie out there that teaches the basics, but I can't remember the title.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Wow, ok, you guys really are inexperienced. The clit isn't really all that hard to find.
Look I think the only answer to this is more communication. It sounds like maybe you are having trouble figuring out what to say to her...just be blunt. Tell her what motions feel good and ask her to do the same.
And don't be afraid to tell her when something hurts.
Oh and the best way for both of you to learn is let the other person use your hand and take control...put your hand on hers and guide her, have her do the same. Actually, start out the other way around, with you masturbating and her hand on top...maybe even just watching.
AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. These are not things that have to be done in the pitch dark of a bed room. Turn on a damn light and have her point things out to you.
I think this is all the advice that needs to be given.
Secret Satan
olol ive used a fake id for a lot but not that one. lotion wouldnt have saved you the embarrassment?
wtf am i doing in here?
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Shogun Streams Vidya
the girls you've been with have no talents. know that you have solely been dealing with inferior women and that it is likely due to a personal failure on your part.
i am being sincere.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Okay, first of all that is NOT the clit. The clit is not inside. You may want to try looking up some info on how a woman's vagina works. Here's something to start with. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris
As for your problem, have your girl bring over hand lotion next time.
Seriously, they rock
@Raqie: He wasn't saying that what he was describing was the clit (note the "And"; it was two separate thoughts)... though I'm still not sure how you can "think" you found it; it is pretty obvious, if tiny. I still think he found her cervix, which isn't like finding a pot of gold or anything.
As for my advice, just talk her through it. You know what you like... Explain it! Don't be ashamed of your body or sexuality... Most peoples problems with sex and sex-related acts come from embarrassment and an inability to discuss their bodies... Loosen up and have some fun!
As far as her handjobs go, maybe think about how you jerk it by yourself, and how you'd describe it? Then work her through it. Also, I don't know if this is a problem for her but she might get a better grip and better endurance if she's working from behind you - reacharound-style.
Also, OP, please do not pressure this girl for head. Just help her figure out what you like. You both are inexperienced and (I assume) young. Go at whatever rate you both are comfortable with.
If you want any other advice from a girl's perspective feel free to PM me.
More pleasant for her? Are degrees of pleasantness when handling a slimy throbbing erection? And as for conspicuousness, how many teenage guys use hand lotion for anything but wanking?
Tell her beforehand that you're goign to be more talkative and that she shouldn't think that you're trying to demand something, but that way you both get to enjoy what you're doing all the time.
I suggest you NOT go for it dry. Christ that's uncomfortable. Also, guys have this way of sometimes being a bit TOO aggressive. Just b/c you insert fingers does NOT mean it feels good for us. Try maybe some "dry humping" at first. Clit stimulation is great....but you can't just jump in. Girls get "erections" too. You'll notice the clit getting a bit stiff as it is stimulated..i*refer to first two sentences*. If she's not naturally lubricated, then I suggest you buy some for the BOTH of you.
If she makes noises and stuff --encourage her to tell you exactly WHAT it is you did that made her moan. That way, you know what to do next time.
You guys can also try masturbating in front of each other. It's a huge turn on AND you get to learn some stuff. Just make sure you pay attention and ask questions *you might wanna save the ?'s till she finishes...or maybe not...depends on how comfortable you two are as far as communication is concerned* In any which case, I'm sure she can learn from watching you as well.
Dammit, I was in a good mood today until I saw all the shit that people are giving to handjobs.
Dammit
That's it, I'm changing my sig.
Even if it's mediocre and you could have made it somewhat better yourself with little effort, it's free.
Unless it's REALLY bad and then it becomes more of a free punch to the crotch.
Secret Satan
Not everyone needs lube when masturbating or getting a handjob. I don't, for sure. The reason being I am circumcised but still have a great deal of foreskin left. Many guys are the same. If I hold the foreskin back tight, then I would need lube, but I would be very sensitive and it wouldn't feel as good.
Other guys have much less foreskin, some almost none at all. So when erect there is no loose skin and they need lube.
Now, on the topic of technique, just show her the way you normally masturbate, and have her mimic that. Also, since I give the occasional handjob, being gay, I find that if I sit/stand behind my partner and reach around them to do it, they enjoy it a lot more. Hence the term... well... reach-around.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
It might even be the case that you dont really like getting handjobs. That is normal, everyone has likes and dislikes, and this is no different. But if you do like 'em, then it is possible to get great handjobs. I like them a lot, and it can be fantastic, similar to masturbating but at the same time completely different. Especially when you come, someone else doing the stimulation just feels totally different at that point. But i guess this would be offset by the pain of having your knob rubbed raw
Just keep in mind that your both new, take your time, and teach each other.