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What's some of the dumbest shit you've ever did
The Cow King
a islandRegistered User regular
a islandRegistered User regular
So it's a convoluted story I'll tell tomorrow but I ended up eating a hot Cheetos fragment that was sitting in my inkwell for a day and only got cleared because I spilled water on it trying to figure out why my Xbox controller didn't connect
Think id rather drink poison and don't ask me why I saved the fragment it was there to be deposes of because I dropped.it 6 hours earlier and placed it there to bin it
Oh the hubris
Think id rather drink poison and don't ask me why I saved the fragment it was there to be deposes of because I dropped.it 6 hours earlier and placed it there to bin it
Oh the hubris
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what the fuck
i don't understand you but i respect you
or bitten a puzzle piece by mistake
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
One time I was driving an earthmoving tractor along a slope, and I panicked when I starts to slide and tried to throw it into reverse. This was possibly the dumbest thing that I could have possibly done, I should have either rode it out or just pointed the front end down the slope. End result was I jacknifed the trailer and the force of that plus the slide tore all the hydraulic linkages off the back of tractor, about $200k worth of damage
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
And I responded with "but we live in opposite directions, I'll get a separate taxi".
Took years before it hit me
Teeth are important folks
One of the many implements I chose was a 8 inch cooking knife.
I succeed opening the bottle, but the bottle was not the only thing I opened that time.
Satans..... hints.....
I've told this story before but once a much younger me got asked out to Olive garden for dinner and it was February and my hands were cold so I was rubbing them together at the table and the date asked if my hands were cold and then took my hand and placed it immediately between her legs
So I giggled and removed my hand and then we went back to my place to play rock band awkwardly for like a half hour they left because extra wrinkle is this date had a friend with her...
So this is the story about how Uriel could have lost his virginity to two women at once but totally biffed it.
"This song is good! It sounds a bit like The Weepies!" I said.
"Okay. Look here, dipshit..." she replied.
Anyway that's how I found out the local emergency room was only open 6am-10pm.
It snapped shut on my fingers
My fingertips turned black like instantly, I couldn't get the hinge open one handed, I couldn't get enough leverage to get the spring
I couldn't find my goddamned phone or car keys
Thankfully my parents were on their way over to help me set up my new apartment. And my mom walked in like five minutes later and we went across town to the ER.
I still almost lost my middle finger because it took so long to check in and longer still actually be seen, whatever RN I eventually saw was very angry and nervous that I would lose my fingers since no one told anyone why I was there
It took a few days to get feeling in them, but they're fine
I actually hate this because I have nothing memorable from my childhood to look back fondly on or recall over drinks. It kinda sucks!
but because of said addiction, I have a lot of stories, like the time I called a gangster's violent bluff and he did the "haha, this white kid's alright" thing
I was sleeping in a 'bando (abandoned/empty building to squat in) and got woken up by a couple of other people because a pretty sizeable rat was just going around the room checking us out, no fear at all.
I grabbed that fucking thing by the scruff of the neck and threw it out the window and yelled "come back tomorrow after we leave"
Still having extremely vivid flashbacks basically every time I close my eyes the entire past year
Oh wait this is for fun stories right?
I used to walk home from school in the middle of the day without telling anyone I was leaving
Steam ID - VeldrinD
Dumbest thing that doesn't make a good story: probably DUI of magic mushrooms.
legend has it they're still floating somewhere to this day
I spent my whole lunch break going 'must remember to bind them. Must get ties and poly wrapping ont he pallet I just spent the morning filling'
Anyway I didnt and I just tried to forklift it instead
That was my first mistake. And instead of thinking 'ooooh fuck I better just slowly lower it back down' nd accept that a few things might fall off..
.. I decided to try and bind wrap it while it was elevated a few inches off the ground by a forklift
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…hahaha…haha..ha
Picturing Veldrin as the Australian version of Mary Poppins, swooping into children's lives under the power of his magical nunchucks
It's probably because I'm a homeowner who hates plumbing but this one made me cringe the most so far.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
My distaste for homophobia overwhelmed my reason (and/or I was very drunk), I shouted back that I probably wouldn't be taking his advice, something along those lines. He said, "If you don't shut your [slur] mouth, I'm coming down there!"
I said "If you think I'm a [slur] and you're coming down here, shouldn't I open my mouth wider?"
He said he that was it, he was coming down, I chipperly said, "Bring it on, motherfucker!"
And then I toddled merrily on my way, my friend peeled off to his place, exchange instantly forgotten.
And then at the end of the block a VERY angry middle-aged biker, a real Sons of Anarchy type, sprinted up behind me, spun me around, and began choking me like Homer Simpson punishing Bart.
I eventually talked my way out of it.
I poured caramel down the kitchen sink.
Turns out it was the screw holding the bath drain pipe to the bath
So the bath did drain, but into the living room below