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Nerd dating a nerd (Girl thread, natch)
aett
NorCalRegistered User regular
NorCalRegistered User regular
So, in April I started going out with a really cool girl. She and I have tons of things in common: tv shows, movies, games... but that's just the thing. We're both sit-at-home nerd-types. Our first date started with dinner, and then we couldn't think of anything else to do in the "great outdoors", so she ended up coming over to my place to watch a DVD (that's it, it was very innocent). Most of our dates have just been her coming over to my apartment (since she lives with her parents at the moment) and playing video games and watching DVDs.
I'm wondering what sorts of things - activities, etc. - I can do to make her feel special and to not feel like a cheapskate or a person without any ideas. Taking her out to eat hasn't even been an option lately, because due to our conflicting work schedules she usually has dinner before she can come over.
I have another thing I'd like to bring up, since it's related. After our third date, I thought I noticed her being kind of distant and quiet. I called her the next day and before I could even bring it up she apologized and told me about how her last relationship lasted for three years and ended horribly. She went on to say that because of this, she wants to keep seeing me but we would have to take things slowly. We've been out several times since then and it's been more like having a buddy come over than a date. This is part of the reason why I'd like to do something different.
Thanks, guys and gals, I need all the help I can get in the dating department.![:\](https://forums.penny-arcade.com/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
I'm wondering what sorts of things - activities, etc. - I can do to make her feel special and to not feel like a cheapskate or a person without any ideas. Taking her out to eat hasn't even been an option lately, because due to our conflicting work schedules she usually has dinner before she can come over.
I have another thing I'd like to bring up, since it's related. After our third date, I thought I noticed her being kind of distant and quiet. I called her the next day and before I could even bring it up she apologized and told me about how her last relationship lasted for three years and ended horribly. She went on to say that because of this, she wants to keep seeing me but we would have to take things slowly. We've been out several times since then and it's been more like having a buddy come over than a date. This is part of the reason why I'd like to do something different.
Thanks, guys and gals, I need all the help I can get in the dating department.
aett on
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Sure. I live in the Sacramento region of northern California. SHOULD be lots of ideas, but I obviously don't go out much. The first thing that popped to my mind was an arcade, but on one of our first dates I suggested it and she wasn't interested, but then on our last date she was telling me about a really cool arcade she went to (out of town) that she liked, so I don't know if she just didn't want to go that one time or what.
Seriously.
'Specially if there's spots for makey-outey action.
Museums, concerts, local fairs and things are always good for new relationships, since theres things to do besides stare at each other.
For some unsolicited relationship advice, having someone who is like a "buddy com[ing] over than a date" is exactly why you date people; to find someone you like spending time with. Dating is awkward, because you're both shopping. When you find someone you like, it comes natural. If you don't find her physically appealing and/or romantically interested, that's something else.
Heres some ideas. Pool, miniature golf, shopping (have her try on sexy clothes), road trips to interesting places, spend the day in san fransisco, drive to a beach, take a dance class, go out on the river, get your friends together and have a bbq, fancy dinners, hiking, go to a sporting event, go to a concert, check out the live music scene (which is pretty good in sacramento if you look around), find an ice skating rink, etc. Be creative you dork.
Also, Crocker Art Museum and the Convention Center.
But if you want to do something nerdy take her to your local arcade and play shooting games and other two player stuff.
Satans..... hints.....
All they ever do is nerdy stuff! The idea is to do something different.
Technically, the idea is to find something that appeals to our nerdy natures that doesn't involve us sitting around my apartment. A lot of the "spend time in the sun" ideas are pretty much out. (I've asked her if she was interested in things like going to a small, local fair - not because I was interested, but just to see if she was. She wasn't. And honestly, to a homebody like myself, that was a relief!)
I totally love the Trash Film Orgy idea. Both of us think that MST3k was the best show ever and we love bad/weird movies.
I also like the "just go for a damn walk" idea. That would give us a change of scenery and allow us to talk without electronics in our faces.
Thanks for all the ideas... keep 'em coming, if anyone has any more!
Drink. Beer, Whine... shots Lowclass/Fun: Beer - Classy: Wine tasting. (get a couple bottles).
[assuming you and her are both legal to drink in your city/state/country]
Hard Candy: Make hard candy... this is SUPER fun, and you get to mess around with her in powered sugar. More of a 'buddy' type activity.
Cooking: Same as above... but a bit more classy.
Make her dinner and mix in wine.
Lay around in bed and/or take a nap... you know... cuddle.
Board Games... goto the dollar store and spend $5 on some awesome old school games.
Stuff to do outside the house:
theater: dude... seriously, this is very classy. Cheap ones can cost like $3 a ticket and it's still fun and the mid/high class ones are like $15 to $30 a pop. Usually can get a discount if your a student.
Walk in the park, at night: cost $0 but very nice.
Play in the park, during the day:
Beach or pool. Those are always fun on a hot day.
Beach at night with some wine and a fire
Lan Party... ok, geeky, but you said she likes that type of stuff so might be fun?
Walking around the downtown of a major city... just window shopping and doing stuff like that.
Bar hoping.
Clubs.
Do you like fishing? She may too, especially good if you fly fish and she wants to learn.
Oh if either of you are into it go for a drive somewhere scenic.
Oh and hey....Mini-golf. C'mon. It's Miniature Golf for chrissakes! How can you lose?
I got a fucking great idea.
here me out:
1] Take ALL the ideas you like from this thread
2] Write them on separate pieces of paper.
3] Fold them up.
4] Put them in Box.
5] Have her open box and pull one out.
She'll like it cause it's more 'random' this way. See! That's a fun ideas.
In reality, it's your junk that you put into the box.
Write them on a piece of paper, one to twenty, and then roll a d20 to figure out which one to do.
Super nerdy and super fun!
First 'date' with this girl: Got some food, went and saw a movie. Very traditional, easy, though not the funnest thing(mostly because the film was horrid, and not in a good way)
second 'date': Drove around a bit, watched ducks at a lake, walked around a bit
After that(this one wasnt really a date), we went to get some coffee for like an hour(including walking). We really didn't have much to talk about... despite having a million things in common, so we finished up, then I walked her home.
We broke up a week or two after that. Here's the thing though: I was glad in a way, because I had run out of things to do with her at that point. We both lived at home with parents, and hanging out at each others houses wasn't much of a possibility.
So yes, please pour out more ideas guys. I need them just as much as the OP, though I live near San Fran, not Sac.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Museum
Art Gallery
you say no to dinner, but YES to ice cream/dessert place (cheesecake factory if you have those there)
You could also go out and play on one of those DDR arcades (are those still cool?) My girlfriend just loves those things.
Haha, actually, I may have to steal this idea. My girldfriend and I are both a bit indecisive when it comes to figuring out what to do. "What do you want to do?" "I don't care what do you want to do?"
Now when that happens I can at least say "To the Date Box!"
FFBE: 838,975,107
Dokkan: 1668363315
Make pizza together. Like, from scratch. It's doughy and fun. Don't do it with any intent to make out with her all covered in dough or some rubbish, just have fun with flipping the dough up and picking what goes on it.
Find a local playground. Go on a walk and then play on the swings and go down the slide.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Understanding she came off a bad relationship, have you actually made any physical contact, besides a hug perhaps? Have you attempted a kiss yet? You need to go after her my friend. If you don't have some type of physical contact say by the next date (hand holding, kissing, groping whatever), then she will start to think you don't think of her as a potential mate, but more as a "buddy" as she is seeing it now.
boo-yaire we have a winar.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
I believe in going the full nine YAAAARRRRds
afterwards he can go to the Nevada side and gamble away all of his (and her) booty. Its basically what all pirates do. cheers have fun you crazy lovebirds!
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
I think someone mentioned going dancing, which can be a lot of fun - another thing would be to try to find someplace that offers lessons in swing or salsa dancing. It'd be a fun new thing to try together, it would get you out of the house, it would be a little sexy, and if you both suck at it at first it won't matter!
As in, if your potential girlfriend doesn't like a lot of physical outdoor activity, forcing her to do it may just make her think that you think she's boring and that you want a girlfriend who is more outgoing and spontaneous.
I will agree that you may want to be more forthcoming as far as showing your interest in her, but do something that YOU want to do, not just something that involves being outside or going somewhere. If she's not into it, she'll have a much better time if you're truly interested or excited in the activity. Or fish for things that she's interested in beyond video games and movies.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Do you have any indie movie theatres in the area? We have one called the Alamo Drafthouse (they serve food and stuff while you watch a movie) and they tend to have special events (that are free or 5bucks or less) IE every tuesday night is anime night, oftentimes they even manage to procure the voice actors/directors which is pretty cool. There's also like, rocky horror and fight club showings...so, maybe if there's something similar in the sacramento area, give it a shot. I know you guys have the Crest theatre, which is kinda famous, stop by and pick up flyers to see what events they have and stuff.
All of these ideas these guys are giving you are great, they sound like a lot of fun and if I was dating a guy I'd definitely love the creativity.
Art museums are fun, try to get a modern art one that's completely ridiculous--when you have commentary that's like "I wonder if this would look better above my toilet" could really loosen the mood rather than going and looking at the...baroque classics.
In regards to what the other people brought up earlier:
Theatrewise- The B street theatre
Bar - Players Pub (has billiards/video games)
Birdcage Bowl?
Areas of Interest- Alleys, Lemon Hill, River Park
We also have a place here in Houston called Planet zero, it's like...5 bucks an hour and they have all sorts of video games and anime stuff...pretty fun for a date, though I mostly hang out with my friends there.
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Due to this post hundreds of nerds across the world are going to score mucho points.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Even more! You can have her help you write ideas. That way you'll be sure that all the ideas are ones that you both share and want to do.
Also if you ever get into the "What you want to do? I don't know, what you want to do" Conversation, you can go "BLAMO, we consult the magical box" and put out some instant fun.
Another idea for some type fun:
On a hot day, get a kiddy pool or some water sprinklers. Run around the yard getting wet and having fun. Spray each other with hoses.
OR WATER GUNS.
That would be so fun.
which could inadvertently lead to sexy time explosions. win-win I'd say.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
I heard if you level up a female buddy to level 99, and use the Alcohol Stone, they evolve into Fuck-Buddy
EDIT: Or you could go out dancing or something. Bring friends along if you're a bit awkward dancing, and get drunk.