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I think I becoming more short tempered (Long Read and Bad Grammar)
Horus
Los AngelesRegistered User regular
Los AngelesRegistered User regular
Back story
Basically I have this problem going on with my cousin I see I shouldn't have written all that I put but I just do not know what to do. Everyone keeps telling whats the problem but never help me figure out a solution. This secret is killing me inside, I am more paranoid, hot headed and short fused because I fear that someone is trying to get the information out of me. But I cannot break my promise to my cousin. My family keeps commenting how I seem to be moody all the time. I tell them just give me space but thats hard to say to a Latino family.
Yeah I can't even compose myself to writing, the original post as you can see is horrible but thats the state I am in I am scared I will get a breakdown sooner or later at the stupidest thing. I already see myself acting out on stuff I would have give a crap about. I was the most patient person you have ever known.
Basically I have this problem going on with my cousin I see I shouldn't have written all that I put but I just do not know what to do. Everyone keeps telling whats the problem but never help me figure out a solution. This secret is killing me inside, I am more paranoid, hot headed and short fused because I fear that someone is trying to get the information out of me. But I cannot break my promise to my cousin. My family keeps commenting how I seem to be moody all the time. I tell them just give me space but thats hard to say to a Latino family.
Yeah I can't even compose myself to writing, the original post as you can see is horrible but thats the state I am in I am scared I will get a breakdown sooner or later at the stupidest thing. I already see myself acting out on stuff I would have give a crap about. I was the most patient person you have ever known.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
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Oh, and she doesn't need to make peace with anyone. If her family is pissing her off then let her be pissed off. She doesn't need to make peace with them just because she's got cancer.
Also, it's probably not just the secret that's stressing you out. It could be your family or also the fact that someone you care about is going to die in the near future and there's nothing you can do about it - not even talk about it. Figure out what's making you moody, accept it, and it should help.
I know there are support groups for friends and relatives of cancer victims, especially here in LA. If you want, PM me; my fiancee works for a doctor (not an oncologist, sorry) associated with Cedar Sinai. I can probably grab a directory or something for there. Or just use the internet, look for cancer realtive support group or something.
Additionally, as shitty as seems, consider telling your cousin that if she doesn't tell her family, you will. Obviously, phrase it nicer than this. But (a) even if they do treat her in a manner she doesn't want, it's better for her to be honest with them, and (b) how much are they all going to hate you when the inevitable (is it?) happens, and they had no warning, but you knew?
Secrets are very rarely good.