The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Sharks: Nature's Atom Bomb
Rankenphile
Passersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
Passersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
ladies and gentlemen, as you may or may not be aware, we are nearly to July which is Sharks Are Assholes Awareness Month. With this in mind, I bring you my report on sharks, to hopefully prevent a few of you from being eaten, mauled or similarly disfigured by these walking death machines of death.
Sharks look like this.
they are huge and awesome and will fuck you up if you look at them. Look at that guy. He's so fucked. And he knows it. He's thinking, right now, "OH SHIT I AM SO FUCKED RIGHT NOW."
Humans have yet to develop any sufficient shark defense technologies. Every time we come up with something, they have foiled it, which has led to crazy awesome TV specials and probably a movie or two or something.
They are smarter than us. They are bigger than us. They have way more teeth and are awesomer than us. They have even invented shark cyborgs.
Where does that leave us? Way fucked, that's where.
Do not fuck around with sharks. Even fake sharks. A picture of a shark can bite off your face, and often will if you are not careful.
It has recently been discovered that sharks can fly. This is so crazy awesome I peed a little.
In short, sharks are nature's shotgun. They are loud and they are fast and they can fuck up your face. Also, they are stronger than your parents.
Some people think sharks are nice. But that is not true. Sharks are liars and they hate you.
Some sharks even morph into half-mermaid half-shark monstrosities just to lure furries and other freaks into the water. That is okay, though. Those sharks are cool. Because fuck furries.
Some people wonder what would happen if an aligator fought a shark.
the answer is: It does not fucking matter. You're still fucked.
In closing, sharks are so crazy fucking cool. Look at them. Look at how fucking cool they are. Are you that cool?
No.
No you are not that fucking cool.
Sharks look like this.
they are huge and awesome and will fuck you up if you look at them. Look at that guy. He's so fucked. And he knows it. He's thinking, right now, "OH SHIT I AM SO FUCKED RIGHT NOW."
Humans have yet to develop any sufficient shark defense technologies. Every time we come up with something, they have foiled it, which has led to crazy awesome TV specials and probably a movie or two or something.
They are smarter than us. They are bigger than us. They have way more teeth and are awesomer than us. They have even invented shark cyborgs.
Where does that leave us? Way fucked, that's where.
Do not fuck around with sharks. Even fake sharks. A picture of a shark can bite off your face, and often will if you are not careful.
It has recently been discovered that sharks can fly. This is so crazy awesome I peed a little.
In short, sharks are nature's shotgun. They are loud and they are fast and they can fuck up your face. Also, they are stronger than your parents.
Some people think sharks are nice. But that is not true. Sharks are liars and they hate you.
Some sharks even morph into half-mermaid half-shark monstrosities just to lure furries and other freaks into the water. That is okay, though. Those sharks are cool. Because fuck furries.
Some people wonder what would happen if an aligator fought a shark.
the answer is: It does not fucking matter. You're still fucked.
In closing, sharks are so crazy fucking cool. Look at them. Look at how fucking cool they are. Are you that cool?
No.
No you are not that fucking cool.
Rankenphile on
0
Posts
JAWSOME
Sharks reproduce by biting each other in half and then growing out of those halves into two sharks of equal awesomeness.
Bears and Sharks: Nature's Best Friends.
Sharky and George the crime busters of the sea!
Flipper was a total bitch.
That shit was staged.
Probably with gay sharks.
Did you know there were gay sharks?
That's because there isn't any more. Sharks are too tough for that shit, so they kicked all the gay sharks out of the ocean.
Dolphins are just gay sharks.
Why do sharks explode? This is because sometimes their brains and sexual organs are made out of M-80's. Sometimes, to attract mates, a shark will explode. And sometimes they explode just to attract giant killer bees.
He has always been there, Moltar. Always.
edit: a shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer.
Bwahahaha
Hi5, man.
Keycards.
It is true.
The most dangerous animal in the whole wide world is a bear holding a shark.
So now there's a liquor chain involved.
BERK
At the end when he was on the raft, some sharks rolled up and were scoping him out.
Then they were like, "Shit, man. That's a Bear. He's cool. Let's go."
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
Ducksharks
False.
It's the upper half of a bear that the shark ate whole that it regurgitates alive when it needs extra firepower.
Fix'd.
I sincerely believe Bear Grylls is the only person in the world capable of fucking up both a real bear, and a shark.
you don't know what you are talking about and should probably stop talking because you are probably a fucking shark or something.
The only thing more dangerous than a bear holding a shark is a shark riding an elephant, just stomping around and eating everything it stomps on.
What does a shark need those bitch guards on his hands and feet for?
because my gosh I love you
Listen to this man... he has deep thoughts.
THE SHARK
REPELLENT
BAT-SPRAY
QUICK ROBIN, THE SHARK REPELLENT!
those are storm trooper helmets
because he just ate four storm troopers