Jill vs Big Bad Wolf SHOWDOWN EXTREME (UPDATE!)

The One Dark Knight

So, this is a short comic for an audition for an art contest. The character is Jill (you know, jack and jill went up the hill, etc). The darkness beasty is the Big Bad Wolf, property of the guy running the tournament, who runs an awesome webcomic named Everafter. To enter you had to draw a character encountering Big Bad. Most people went with the intimidated approach.


No speech bubbles/grayscale yet, got one more day to finish this.






I need to clean this up but I'm really afraid of inking. I'll probably have to go in and nitpick with an eraser. What's a good way to get nice clean, thin lines? I have yet to find one.

Also, any general layout crits, etc, would be great. I'll post more as I finish it off.\


EDIT

First page basically done

Only have about 1 hour to finish the rest, so I'm going to have to submit it only half done. ):

core tactic

Damn. I wanted this to be bad. Then, I would have been like, man this sucks! But it doesn't.


My only complaint is she really just looks like a dude in a dress. Unless she(he) is and the dialouge clears that up?

The One Dark Knight

Yep, she's supposed to be kind of gawky looking.


Is my stuff really that unpopular? Maybe it's just the slew of 'LOOK AT MY COMIC LAWL' threads going around.

core tactic

The One Dark Knight wrote: »

Yep, she's supposed to be kind of gawky looking.


Is my stuff really that unpopular? Maybe it's just the slew of 'LOOK AT MY COMIC LAWL' threads going around.

Oh, I didn't mean your art was bad, it's just the majority of threads that ask for comic reviews are complete crap.

The One Dark Knight

core tactic wrote: »

The One Dark Knight wrote: »

Yep, she's supposed to be kind of gawky looking.


Is my stuff really that unpopular? Maybe it's just the slew of 'LOOK AT MY COMIC LAWL' threads going around.

Oh, I didn't mean your art was bad, it's just the majority of threads that ask for comic reviews are complete crap.

I mean the lack of replies whenever I post stuff. I'll retitle this probably

Edcrab

The One Dark Knight wrote: »

I mean the lack of replies whenever I post stuff. I'll retitle this probably

That's probably because it's a lot easier to lay into iredeemable crap than it is to offer constructive advice on a well-drawn piece.

Which this is ;-) Some of the panels look a little crowded (to the point that from within the mass of lines, it's sometimes hard to see what's going on at first glance), but I imagine that'll be addressed once the piece is inked and/or coloured.

Onionknight

I don't usually post in the AC but I saw this and I kind of felt like I needed to point out that your style is a direct copy of Hector Sevilia. It stands out to me because you are not as crisp with your lines or confident with your strokes as he is. If by some odd chance you are Hector... well then I guess ignore what I am saying.

I dig the idea but I feel like you should try to get your own style not copy someone else's.

Here is a link to Hector's Dev Art for point of ref http://elsevilla.deviantart.com/

The One Dark Knight

Yep, I know who he is, he does some pretty awesome stuff. I'd say he's one of my influences, however in no way, shape or form have I tried to copy his style or any of his comics.

Now that I look at it I can see the resemblence... but that was completely unintentional.

srsizzy

Umm...what? This looks nothing like his art. He does anime faces, and besides that I can't see what else would be similar.

I was thinking of joining this tournament thing, but I don't really have the time to do it.

I'd say the art could use some cleaning up and cleaner lines. And take more time to draw details and backgrounds.

Also: Good luck.

Virum

Not feeling the style copy thing either. o.O

Seriously, where are you getting that from? I don't even really see an influence. Maybe that sometimes he draw long and lanky characters too?

Beyond that, eh, not seeing it.

The One Dark Knight

Maybe it's the belts on the hammer + style I draw trees in

Nam

Onionknight wrote: »

I don't usually post in the AC but I saw this and I kind of felt like I needed to point out that your style is a direct copy of Hector Sevilia. It stands out to me because you are not as crisp with your lines or confident with your strokes as he is. If by some odd chance you are Hector... well then I guess ignore what I am saying.

I dig the idea but I feel like you should try to get your own style not copy someone else's.

Here is a link to Hector's Dev Art for point of ref http://elsevilla.deviantart.com/

No. Fail.

I'm familiar with hectors stuff and it's not a 'direct copy', not even close, you can say the designs are similar, but even then, everything borrows from something. You can't tell me Hector is 100% original. It's not uncommon for someone to emulate one of their favorite artists when they are progressing early on, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. I used to try to draw like Todd McFarlane. Not because I ever intended to be a carbon copy of him later on, but because it was what was appealing and it served as a springboard that helped me grasp and learn things easier and enjoy drawing more.

You have to try different styles, if someone has something you like, you incorporate that element into your own style. Every artist here is an amalgam of different artistic styles. We all take what appeals to us from what we've seen from others and what we gather from our observations about life.

hijinksensue

The bandage on her head and the panel where the mallet is smashing in the foreground both remind me a elements of FLCL. Not that it's a bad thing. Was that an influence?

The One Dark Knight

FLCL, Helsing, Berserk, a few artists around Deviantart, Thailand + Cambodian slums, general people that I've seen around on the train and in the street, punk fashion, D Gray Man, (lots of other manga, anime, + a few american comics), English Trees + castles, nordic mythology, medieval japanese fashion.... the list goes on. I'm sure if any artist took the time they could come up with a far bigger list than this one.


Lots of influences, not on this specifically, but things that I have drawn on in the past.

And yes, FLCL is awesome

Virum

The frame of the hammer coming down looks wonky to me. It's like the hammer grew hugely massive. I know you're trying to get that wide angle lens type distortion/foreshortening going, but it's not working for me. The pole seems that it'd have to be bending a bit for the head to land where it is as well.

Other than that, great stuff.

HugmasterGeneral

Virum wrote: »

The frame of the hammer coming down looks wonky to me. It's like the hammer grew hugely massive. I know you're trying to get that wide angle lens type distortion/foreshortening going, but it's not working for me. The pole seems that it'd have to be bending a bit for the head to land where it is as well.

Other than that, great stuff.

I thought that, too. It reminds me of the Monkey King's Rú Yì Bàng (staff), which the Monkey King could control its length and girth at will.

flyingmonkey

The perspective from the hammer handle to the head in the big close up panel is wonked.

Though I gotta say this is some nice improvement from where you began. Just make your type legible!!!

(I can never read nothin Sin says on the battle forum :P)

anable

I think it's pretty awesome. The mallet seems overly emphasized, but I like it. It makes the point. I do have to say that Jill is pretty manish, like some guy lost a bet and had to fight a wolf while wearing a dress as the result.

Lly

I like it. She reminds me of pennywise with different hair

I also think people need to stop claiming people are ripping off other peoples styles. It's saidso many bloody threads and is usually complete rubbish, like here.

HugmasterGeneral

Lly wrote: »

I like it. She reminds me of pennywise with different hair

I also think people need to stop claiming people are ripping off other peoples styles. It's saidso many bloody threads and is usually complete rubbish, like here.

Pennywise? I suppose the hair is different. =P

But honestly, you're right. The styles don't even look that similar, and I get sick of people crying "rip off!" I don't care how you draw, unless you invent a new style somehow, it's going to look like at least one other famous person's. There's only so many ways to represent the human form.

Iruka

I'm usually not one to say manly face as a crit, but her face looks like tetsuo's. Her eyes have very little lashes and they are really intense and squareish. If its intentional, then its cool, but if its not you may want to look at ways of making her look tough but still feminine.

MagicToaster

Yes, I highly approve of this!!!

Shiboe

Looks decent enough, but for the majority (most everything besides mallot smash sequence) I don't really get what's going on. Might be one of those things you need to be following to understand I suppose. Too many of the shots are direct frontal portraits though IMO. When I did a quick scroll, I see a lot of the same "look angry at the camera in dramatic but stationary stance." Might want to change that up a bit.

earthwormadam

I'd love to see this inked up.

I can tell that the Battle Tourney has had an effect on you. You're craking out some incredible comics, and you have a style all your own. I must say though, that reading your comics and not seeing Sin in them makes me cry a little on the inside.

The One Dark Knight

UPDATE LAWL


Spent a long time doing that first page... too long actually, only have an hour to finish the other two ):

The One Dark Knight

Shiboe wrote: »

When I did a quick scroll, I see a lot of the same "look angry at the camera in dramatic but stationary stance." Might want to change that up a bit.

I agree, that's my strength (front shots) and I need to deviate from it ):

Thanks for pointing it out.

Reric

The second frame was confusing for me. Took me awhile to figure out what it was, not sure if you could do something in that frame to make it more pronounced that a guy is coming out of the house, or if simply having the next ram having the image flipped horizontally so that he is still falling in the same direction.

The One Dark Knight

Bah, didn't get accepted ):

Probably because it was unfinished, and the guy making the tournament was looking for certain archetypes anyway ;_;

Loomdun

I like it alot, I think the word itself, originality, is a dead meaning since the 1400's... And with that said I can see what you mean by front shots being your strength, just keep working at it beause there are ways that I see you can improve in it. Alot of it is very very well done, But the very end you seemed to be running out ideas, I can't exactly say what to do with the wolves, But seeing the wolves, then her, then the wolves again in the same position lead to a "?" in most peoples head,

Perhaps for a growing intensity in the ending of this comic, you could perhaps do something with the wolves instead of showing a same more enlarged form of the same picture, if your strength is (which I can clearly see and agree) is front shot, then the next thing you start improving will be a cosistant slow moving flipping back-in fourth style of slides. the wolves are staring at her, Shes staring back angry, But then the wolves... are staring back again? So its a staredown, but perhaps a .... inbetween the staring wolves and her staring down the wolves can imply a longer well.. staring down! Then, the last part then can include something to conclude it with for instance, perhaps lunging towards the viewers. It shows more intensity to the end and keeps people wanting to see whats next.

That is all

Lewis Rice

As per usual you rock, sin.


Luv luv.

The One Dark Knight

Thanks for the crit Loom, it was very helpful