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The Domesticated Third Wheel
blue integer
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I live with a couple in an apartment. They currently share a room, and I have my own.
I don't have a girlfriend, and I have never been in a serious relationship. While that's something I'd like to pursue eventually, I either don't have the courage, or, simply don't want to maintain something like that right now.
Despite these thoughts, I can't help but feel depressed around the couple, and inevitably, around the apartment. I'm literally a drag around here, but I can throw out some reasons why this might be happening:
1. I feel inferior, and a bit intimidated in 'apartment politics.' They often agree with one another, so, the
unbalanced dichotomy is self explanatory.
2. It's possible that I'm envious of people who have a relationship.
When we go out and do things, it's usually the three of us. It literally makes me feel like shit.
Anybody else have similar experiences? Or am I just being overly emotional here?
I don't have a girlfriend, and I have never been in a serious relationship. While that's something I'd like to pursue eventually, I either don't have the courage, or, simply don't want to maintain something like that right now.
Despite these thoughts, I can't help but feel depressed around the couple, and inevitably, around the apartment. I'm literally a drag around here, but I can throw out some reasons why this might be happening:
1. I feel inferior, and a bit intimidated in 'apartment politics.' They often agree with one another, so, the
unbalanced dichotomy is self explanatory.
2. It's possible that I'm envious of people who have a relationship.
When we go out and do things, it's usually the three of us. It literally makes me feel like shit.
Anybody else have similar experiences? Or am I just being overly emotional here?
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The best thing that I can tell you is that:
1. Being single is as enjoyable as being in a relationship, both circumstances have their ups and downs.
and
2. All other things being equal, how much time you spend being single is inversely proportional to how much BS from the opposite sex you willingly put up with. I used to be jealous of the guys who didn't ever spend more than two weeks being single, until I realized how desperate they were about the whole thing, and what they'd settle for.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
You say funny thing.
Seriously though regardless of any other issues on your part hanging with a couple for long tracts of time tends to bug anyone.
https://medium.com/@alascii
On being single, your comments about not having "the courage" sort of hint you're over-attaching to the idea of a 'capital r' Realtionship.
Start with some simple, low commitment, cheap dating, group activities, and parties.
Do more by yourself - build a sense of autonomy and learn to enjoy being alone with yourself. It sounds very "hallmark card" but I really think people that learn to be self-sufficient and self-occupying later make the best members of couples because they are less co-dependent and more interested in being with their specific partner and not with "someone"
Finally, if your couple has just coupled up, that syrupy, self involved state people get in DOES annoy everyone and does fade after a few months.
I host a podcast about movies.