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is there any way that I can politely inform someone that ew they smell like cabbage and get away gross without hurting their feelings?
Sincerely,
I Mean It's Really Really Bad
Dear Unable-To-Come-Up-With-Better-Adjectives;
Spray them with Lisol every time they turn their back. They will get the hint. Conversely, talk about it in an internet forum, and make sure their name is readily googleable. We all googlesearch our names. It'd then only be a matter of time.
I usually solve my problems in a variety of ways. Talking things out with a peer, creating a list of obsticles to overcome, even counting to 10 when I get frustrated and angry! But I have a good friend who suggested a fourth option, and that is to beat my problems with my dick. I suppose it could work, but I just can't seem to think of the right situation to beat something with my dick!
Is my friend really as wise as he looks, or should I just stop trying to beat things with my dick?
-P. Ness
Dear Nessy;
Keep beating things with your dick, if they give you problems.
Soon, you will find yourself in a place where no problems will ever emerge! Perfect!
Also, allow me to never give you problems before this happens.. because.. ew. Have you had that thing checked out recently?
Are helicopters lamer than planes? Because hardly any of them can do backflips on purpose and I think planes make a cooler noise than hellicopters. Jack Bauer can pilot either so I can't let him decide for me either.
From Blake.
Dear Real-Name;
It depends what's on the other side of the flight. I am pretty sure you can stretch your legs out more in a helicopter than you can in a plane. Maybe I'm wrong.
because i have been looking for some aladdin/spongebob pictures and selection is very limited
id like somethin along the lines of spongebob squeezed up into the shape of a dildo and squidward shoving him into aladdins ass while aladdin is bound by the genie who is in the form of a tentacle monster who also has princess jasmine and is fucking her with patricks head
What were you doing in my dream last night? Seriously that was weird.
Sincerely,
My-medication-gives-me-crazy-dreams
Dear On-Meds;
That is pretty freakishly weird. Have we even ever spoken directly to one another, or even in the same thread, prior to *right now*? I'm a little weirded out, myself. But, I have to tell you that I was there to warn you; rainbowmonkeydishwasher. I know you'll understand.
Look. I've told you time and time again not to go through the shoebox under my old bed. Those letters from Berk are private, and intimate, and intimately private. You'll just learn things about me you didn't want to know.
Are helicopters lamer than planes? Because hardly any of them can do backflips on purpose and I think planes make a cooler noise than hellicopters. Jack Bauer can pilot either so I can't let him decide for me either.
From Blake.
Dear Real-Name;
It depends what's on the other side of the flight. I am pretty sure you can stretch your legs out more in a helicopter than you can in a plane. Maybe I'm wrong.
God, just PM Nucsh. He can tell you.
Listening To Unmarked Helicopters Yet Again,
mully
Dear Real-Name,
The answer here is to go to both a helicopter and a plane, and beat them with your dick. Whichever one feels best to your dick is the least lame!
(planes don't feel lame at all when I beat them with my dick, if it helps you in your quest for awesomeocity)
What movies should i rent next time i go to the video store?
Sincerely,
S_S
Dear S_S;
It depends what you like. I suggest Memento, Children of Men, Fight Club, Se7en, Ice Age and Cool World. Watch Cool World first; It'll make everything else seem golden.
Watching you,
mully.
dear mully again,
i have seen all of those! suggest something else!
Fight club was the shit,
S_S
Dear WhateverYourNameWas;
Screw that, then. www.tv-links.co.uk -- then you don't even need to rent! Otherwise. Gothika, Secret of NIMH, The Last Unicorn ... just whatever you do, don't rent Norbert or whatever the hell it is. You know, that new one with Eddie Murphey as a fat chick? Ugh.
Are helicopters lamer than planes? Because hardly any of them can do backflips on purpose and I think planes make a cooler noise than hellicopters. Jack Bauer can pilot either so I can't let him decide for me either.
From Blake.
Dear Real-Name;
It depends what's on the other side of the flight. I am pretty sure you can stretch your legs out more in a helicopter than you can in a plane. Maybe I'm wrong.
God, just PM Nucsh. He can tell you.
Listening To Unmarked Helicopters Yet Again,
mully
Dear Real-Name,
The answer here is to go to both a helicopter and a plane, and beat them with your dick. Whichever one feels best to your dick is the least lame!
(planes don't feel lame at all when I beat them with my dick, if it helps you in your quest for awesomeocity)
Best of luck,
Nucsh
Dear Nucsh
the only things that feel lame when i beat them with my dick are hot things or spiky things.
Everything else feels non-lame.
does this mean that the worst thing in the world is a burning hedgehog?
What movies should i rent next time i go to the video store?
Sincerely,
S_S
Dear S_S;
It depends what you like. I suggest Memento, Children of Men, Fight Club, Se7en, Ice Age and Cool World. Watch Cool World first; It'll make everything else seem golden.
Watching you,
mully.
dear mully again,
i have seen all of those! suggest something else!
Fight club was the shit,
S_S
Dear WhateverYourNameWas;
Screw that, then. www.tv-links.co.uk -- then you don't even need to rent! Otherwise. Gothika, Secret of NIMH, The Last Unicorn ... just whatever you do, don't rent Norbert or whatever the hell it is. You know, that new one with Eddie Murphey as a fat chick? Ugh.
Still-Has-Nightmares,
mully.
Dear Mully,
Thank you! i have not seen gothika and i walked out of norbit.
but would it bother you that much to remember my name! i remembered yours! GOSH!
What were you doing in my dream last night? Seriously that was weird.
Sincerely,
My-medication-gives-me-crazy-dreams
Dear On-Meds;
That is pretty freakishly weird. Have we even ever spoken directly to one another, or even in the same thread, prior to *right now*? I'm a little weirded out, myself. But, I have to tell you that I was there to warn you; rainbowmonkeydishwasher. I know you'll understand.
Telepathically,
mully.
Dear Mully,
No, I have lurked almost exclusively aside from the very rare stupid newbie post. One time Teefs told me he was going to take me under his wing since my join date was his birthday, but that is about the only thing special about me.
It's a hard choice. Are we talking about clothing? A wall colour, perhaps?
I'll have to go with green though. I own a lot of green things. I have some orange pants - the kind that zip into shorts. But I don't wear them because I lost the bottoms of them and I hate shorts.
Well, I guess the tapes work. You probably don't want to come home for a while.
Dad
Dear Dad;
Wasn't planning on it. Have you told Grandma about your derangement yet? You probably should get on that rather quickly. I don't think it's deathbed information, you know?
Ugh,
mully.
PS: What're you doing with my Offspring CD. Stop it. STOP IT.
mully on
0
nevilleThe Worst Gay(Seriously. The Worst!)Registered Userregular
The brain removal isn't working that well at all. The duck and it have allied.
They both bite.
There is a friendly gopher, but he doesn't do much.
Assistance would be nice
Sincerly,
Oh my god the walls are closing in
Dear Claustrophobic;
I'm sorry I've failed you. All I can suggest is that you shock the gopher with some sort of information; he'll turn around rather abruptly -- at this point, you STAB HIM IN THE EYES! ... I'm not sure what this will help but I have the urge to do so every time he does that turn. A punched-out dramatic gopher would be amazingly funny, I think.
My name is Jezz and I am your greatest fan. My cell mate and I listen to your music all the time. We got the radio from a black fellow called Ernie who got shanked for going to the warden about the heroin. He had it coming if you ask me. I know that you are touring right now and I was wondering if you and your band could take the time to play at our prison? We are at Pentridge Maximum Security - sounds dramatic I know but it's not that bad! Although it does smell like piss. If you can't make it don't worry too much because I'm going up for parole soon - I'll be able to catch all of your shows! I know I've been guilty of rape and attempted murder in the past but that is behind me. You've shown me the light, Mully, and I am going to show you my appreciation. One day, I'll show you.
Prisoner #667-9876
Dear Jezz;
Jezz leave me alone, y'hear? Hahaha. Haha. ...ahaha. ..ahh.
We have a special question from some asian guy named , all the way from Japan!
"I raped this girl last night. Is it ok if I put a condom in her vag after?"
Can't wait to hear your reply, mully!
Dear ;
Thanks for the question!
Well, gosh, saying as you're in Japan -- of COURSE that's okay! Everyone knows that rape is Japan's way of saying hello. And aren't you just being extra friendly, with the condom gesture? What a sweetie!
Posts
Dear Unable-To-Come-Up-With-Better-Adjectives;
Spray them with Lisol every time they turn their back. They will get the hint. Conversely, talk about it in an internet forum, and make sure their name is readily googleable. We all googlesearch our names. It'd then only be a matter of time.
Conversely, extract each and every sweat gland.
Good luck!
Smells awesome always,
mully.
Dear Nessy;
Keep beating things with your dick, if they give you problems.
Soon, you will find yourself in a place where no problems will ever emerge! Perfect!
Also, allow me to never give you problems before this happens.. because.. ew. Have you had that thing checked out recently?
Afraid-of-blisters,
mully
Dear Real-Name;
It depends what's on the other side of the flight. I am pretty sure you can stretch your legs out more in a helicopter than you can in a plane. Maybe I'm wrong.
God, just PM Nucsh. He can tell you.
Listening To Unmarked Helicopters Yet Again,
mully
Dear Hair (-H);
25$/hr. :winky:
mully.
Why do I do this?
Love, Silmaril. The prettiest jewel.
Dear On-Meds;
That is pretty freakishly weird. Have we even ever spoken directly to one another, or even in the same thread, prior to *right now*? I'm a little weirded out, myself. But, I have to tell you that I was there to warn you; rainbowmonkeydishwasher. I know you'll understand.
Telepathically,
mully.
Are these herpes?
All the best,
- Tardcore
Electronic composer for hire.
Why do all the girls hate me?
Patiently waiting,
Horribly Deformed Monster
Dear Mom & Dad;
Look. I've told you time and time again not to go through the shoebox under my old bed. Those letters from Berk are private, and intimate, and intimately private. You'll just learn things about me you didn't want to know.
Loves The Way A Bill Feels Against Her Skin,
mully
Dear Real-Name,
The answer here is to go to both a helicopter and a plane, and beat them with your dick. Whichever one feels best to your dick is the least lame!
(planes don't feel lame at all when I beat them with my dick, if it helps you in your quest for awesomeocity)
Best of luck,
Nucsh
You're not mully
Observantly yours,
You're lying to me.
Dear WhateverYourNameWas;
Screw that, then. www.tv-links.co.uk -- then you don't even need to rent! Otherwise. Gothika, Secret of NIMH, The Last Unicorn ... just whatever you do, don't rent Norbert or whatever the hell it is. You know, that new one with Eddie Murphey as a fat chick? Ugh.
Still-Has-Nightmares,
mully.
I am beating you so hard with my dick.
Dear Nucsh
the only things that feel lame when i beat them with my dick are hot things or spiky things.
Everything else feels non-lame.
does this mean that the worst thing in the world is a burning hedgehog?
Doing a survey
Marijuana Smoking Device
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I've been putting off getting Secret of Nimh and The Last Unicorn, and both recently got rereleased with ultra shiny packaging.
If you were to choose one, which?
Ow
Owowow,
Ow.
Dear Worldly;
No clue. Maybe they're all dumb. I, for one, loved Kevin Costner as Batman.
Keeses,
mully
Dear Mully,
Am *I* batman?
Sincerely,
I don't know
Dear Mully,
Thank you! i have not seen gothika and i walked out of norbit.
but would it bother you that much to remember my name! i remembered yours! GOSH!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/TY5DML75RJ18
Dear Mully,
No, I have lurked almost exclusively aside from the very rare stupid newbie post. One time Teefs told me he was going to take me under his wing since my join date was his birthday, but that is about the only thing special about me.
Ashamedly,
May-be-another-stalker-sometime-soon
Dear Fruity-Colours-Lover;
It's a hard choice. Are we talking about clothing? A wall colour, perhaps?
I'll have to go with green though. I own a lot of green things. I have some orange pants - the kind that zip into shorts. But I don't wear them because I lost the bottoms of them and I hate shorts.
Hope this helps.
Indecisive,
mully
are you a rich billionaire playboy who is good at everything
Looking for work,
Alfred
I loved you in that forum battle you were in
?
Campion
Dear Dad;
Wasn't planning on it. Have you told Grandma about your derangement yet? You probably should get on that rather quickly. I don't think it's deathbed information, you know?
Ugh,
mully.
PS: What're you doing with my Offspring CD. Stop it. STOP IT.
Dear Alfred,
Maybe.
Please forward your resume and several photographs.
What are your thoughts on sewing SKINTIGHT battle armor for someone?
Sincerely,
Man who may also be a bat
Dear Claustrophobic;
I'm sorry I've failed you. All I can suggest is that you shock the gopher with some sort of information; he'll turn around rather abruptly -- at this point, you STAB HIM IN THE EYES! ... I'm not sure what this will help but I have the urge to do so every time he does that turn. A punched-out dramatic gopher would be amazingly funny, I think.
Getting A Q Tip,
mully.
Unless you are a member of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen get that "h" where it belongs.
Keeses,
Blank
Dear Jezz;
Jezz leave me alone, y'hear? Hahaha. Haha. ...ahaha. ..ahh.
Changing Pants,
mully.
I teach children. Sometimes they are lame and oftentimes I find myself enraged over their lameness. Is it appropriate to hit them?
Sincerely,
Maybe-Abortion-Should-Be-Legal-Until-One-Is-18-Years-Old, those snooty bastards
As you can see in the attached, I am British.
Therefore I am qualified to be your butler.
Pip pip,
Alfred.
Dear Blank,
I am a bunny is that good enough?
Campion
are we friends?
love,
insecure about internet relations
Dear WAN... oh man. You put way too much effort into that;
A toaster to the groin will cure what ails ye.
Trust me on this one.
Burnmarks Are Hot,
mully
Why is it cool to be gay?
harts
~fallsy b
Dear
Thanks for the question!
Well, gosh, saying as you're in Japan -- of COURSE that's okay! Everyone knows that rape is Japan's way of saying hello. And aren't you just being extra friendly, with the condom gesture? What a sweetie!
Wow'd Yet Again By Japan's Friendliness,
mully
Is the bunny.
Roll out,
Blank
Dear Inexperienced;
Just touch all over. When she jerks unexpectedly, you've probably found it.
Also, it moves from time to time. Though, that may just be me.
Happy Wanderer,
mully
Dear Probably-Dutch;
How does wind energy work.
The fact that this is in the kids' section of this site makes me laugh at you.
Turtles don't need cooling. They're reptiles. They need warming. Warm flat rocks.
Knows More Than A Fifth Grader,
mully