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Indian Customs - Query - SOLVED
Cryogen
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Just to clarify i mean Indian from India here, not native americans
Is it common among indian families for a mother to feed her adult children? Like, holding the plate of food and putting in their mouth, either by hand or by fork/spoon? The adult child in question is her 30 year old daughter. This happens all the time, not just for a special occasion or certain kind of dish.
Is it common among indian families for a mother to feed her adult children? Like, holding the plate of food and putting in their mouth, either by hand or by fork/spoon? The adult child in question is her 30 year old daughter. This happens all the time, not just for a special occasion or certain kind of dish.
Cryogen on
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This sounds very creepy, have you asked your girlfriend?
I havent asked her yet because she gets a bit self conscious explaining some customs and so forth. She's lived in australia for 20 of her 30 years. I was hoping i could get an indian forumer who could shed some light on this, because its entirely possible its a common thing. I know its going to seem odd and unusual to most of us whitey US/UK/AUS etc.
I think i'll just have to ask/talk to her about it. Maybe there can be some sort of compromise sometimes... one reason i wanted to know is because it would be nice to just have a meal with everyone at the table together, instead of her & mum off elsewhere doing the feeding thing while the rest of the adults eat together. Surely you dont have to be traditional every time, right? (heck, thats assuming this even IS customary...)
For the mother/daughter aesthetic, it definitely happens, but not regularly, just randomly, and less and less as they get older, and pretty much stops by the time they leave the house. It's kind of like getting your hair braided by your mom, it's something you let your mom do because you want to feel kind of young, you're probably too busy to feed yourself, whatever. But once they're past 20, it just gets kind of weird, ESPECIALLY if it's regular. Basically, it's not normal to still be fed at 30 on a regular basis. Maybe if it's like "Oh, try this!" or something.
On top of that, you sure as hell wouldn't do this in front of your boyfriend.
But the using of the hands is normal, though, because we don't eat with silverware (frankly, what's the point of a fork anyway? Maybe a spoon if it's soup...)
Wait, wait, wait a second. Is your girlfriend raised in India or was she born in Australia? Because if she was raised in India, then it's a little more common, but not really that much more. It's forgivable then if it's random, but still not if it's constant and in front of her boyfriend.
Edit: Oh, she just goes somewhere and gets fed by her mom while you're all there? She's been here for most of her life? Dear lord, is she even weaned?
I can understand the "Try this!" thing, that happens in any nationality. It isnt that.
This hasn't happened (that i've seen) in public, but i've only eaten at an indian restaurant with her & her parents once. So far i've only seen it in their home, and her home. My gf lives in her own home, not with her parents. She was raised in India for a while, maybe till she was 5 i think, then moved to another country till she was about 10, and has then lived in Australia since then. She has an aussie accent and didnt appear to follow any customs really. I went to high school with her from the age of 12-18. Until i saw her interacting with her family directly, i had always though she was basically an aussie, in the way that many kids who come to a new country basically assimilate by the time they are adults.
I cant remember eating any indian dish, either at the parents house or at her own, where she wasnt fed. Its only indian dishes, if we get pizza or something she feeds herself. Oh, i've seen her eating some desserts by herself.
I know about the eating with hands bit, so i'm not phased by that. I pretty much just copy how her dad, brother, or others are eating various dishes so i've gotten stuck in with the hands already
Again thanks for the info, theres a few other questions this influences so i do appreciate your time.
No one I know does this.
No one in my entire family does anything like this.
thats just weird.
I wont go into further details at this stage but this confirms some suspicions. I know that family ties are quite strong in most indian families, and thats perfectly fine with me, but i've now got some stuff i need to work out because i think i'm stepping in to something more complicated than i first thought. Thats not to say "omg get me outta here!!!" but it does explain a few other things and i think i might be able to approach and understand those things better now. Its been weighing on my mind lately.
I really appreciate the info. I think i'll lock the thread at this point because thats all i really need, but if any Indian folks have something radically different to add please feel free to send me a PM. (or at least, i would lock it, if i could remember/figure out how