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Meeting more geek friends, and what to do with them.
EmperorSeth
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Yes, I know I posted a lot of advice questions lately, and honestly I expect to post some more in the next couple of weeks, because I'm increasingly eager to turn my life around. I'm too young for a mid-life crisis, so let's just call it a "Shit, I just turned 28 and I hate my life!" crisis. But trying to find a job in the video game industry, let alone one with even a minimum of creative input, is a bit too complex to deal with at first, and I don't even want to get into the problem of finding women with similar interests (i'm sure there's quite a few threads related to this anyway,) so I'll start with something simple. I need more friends. That is, I need more friends outside of a single related activity. I have friends online, but I mostly speak with them only when online for the typical debate purposes. I play D&D, but not only can I not find enough people around to get a party size I'm happy with, but that's generally all we do. It's great having fun in a social situation like that, but then the game ends and I'm mostly alone again. Part of it is a desire to return to other, less formal geek activities. I barely give a damn about multiplayer video games any more, but I certainly would like get the chance to just hang out with people and play Smash Brothers again, for example. Secondly, I'd also like to move outside of classic in-house geek activities. I'm not interested in the bar/party situatin, though that could work with the right people, but just going to a restaurant, for example, would be nice. Plus, I live in the Chicago suburbs, and I hate how little I take advantage of it. I want to revisit the museums, see Millennium Park, or otherwise just explore what the city has to offer. But there's a point where doing everything alone kills the enthusiasm for this sort of thing, and I'd like to find a group of sorts to actually do it with.
You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
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D&D ain't a bad way to meet nerds, and you live in the Chicago Metro Area. For advice on finding new players I'd refer you to the "Of Dice and Men" forum.
You also have a lot of other interests, which is unfortunately something that many other nerds don't have. Finding other creative outlets in a social setting would be a good thing too. You could, for example, take some community college courses, or audition for some local non-professional theater stuff.
Even though you're out of school, think "extracurriculars". School woulda sucked if all you did was go to class, life as a working stuff sucks if all you do is work.
Yeah.. I pretty much do nothing but work at the moment... and it certainly does suck.
Agreed. I went to high school in the nw suburbs, then moved to the city after graduation. don't bag on the bar / club scene, as it's not all drunk frat boys and bitchy girls, you just have to find the right bar. here's a hint, if you're worried about being able to get in based on how you are dressed, you are definitely going to the wrong bar. definitely stay away from the viagra triangle (rush and division). try the hideout or the darkroom. there's tons of closet geeks out there, just be open minded. I became really good friends with this dj girl that I met because of the fact that we both played world of warcraft and were on the same server. we became such good friends that we lived together for a year. but from the looks of her, you would have never guessed she was a geek (tattoos, piercings, hot). you just never can tell who a geek is judging solely on their looks. plus, I met my current girlfriend because she was in my raiding guild, and she ended up living right down the street from me.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
He's still got no social skills or self-awareness but he has a girlfriend now so that's saying something.
I've also gone to tango class for a few months. Sure most of the people are much older but there's always a few people in their 20s and early 30s. Mainly girls too looking for guys to dance with. All good.
Definite +1 vote on the dancing thing. Especially for tango, since at most milongas it's considered rude to dance with the same partner for more than ~3ish dances, so you get to mix it up and don't feel left out if you don't know many people there.
Now, yes, it would be nice to meet attractive, single women in particular who have geeky interests, just in general more geek friends would be nice. Right now, I have people I chat with via message boards, my almost never present roomate, a few other people in my weekly D&D group, and a friend I knew since juniour high who hangs out once a month or so. Well, and family, which is nice, but I'm looking for friends in particular here. Now, I think I want two things. First, I want more people to do the standard geek stuff with. I prefer single-player games, honestly, but I'd like to at least acknowledge the idea using multiplayer options more than maybe once. Online works too, though the only recent console I got is the Wii, but in person would be fine. Second, I want people to do things outside of the house. Ballroom dancing is only slightly more appealing than a sports league, but just visiting a museum, hanging out in the City one weekend, or something like that would be fun. Okay, admittedly the latter idea works better with an attractive, single, woman, but still.
for non-geeky activities: working out or moving is good. For me it helsp me get "outside" my head and into my "body" and easier to communicate with people when I'm "inside my body" instead of "buried in my head".
running, swimming, jumping jack, anything. Once you get that, then you will realize that sports can be fun! really fun.
Also for non-geeky activies... some suggestions: Dance class, Cooking Class - College/school - Acting classes (very good. girls are more attracted to an extremely horrid actor then they are to a really great programmer. Just keep that in mind: 30,000 of clean code... pshhh - but 3 lines of shakesphere said badly: instant action). There is probably also book clubs and things of that nature in chicago.
For meeting girls: the above should do it, but online is ok too. I like hotornot, facebook and craigslist... for some reason those 3 sites "work better" at meeting women and getting dates then all other dating sites. Your milage my vary, but typically I've found dating sites to be fairly bad when compared to "social networks".