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Teenage Housing Ideas
Charles Kinbote
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Little bit of backstory here.
My parents divorced when I was eight. Since then, I've spent the majority of time with my mom, with either the occasional weekend or no time with my dad. My brother, who is autistic and epileptic, entered a new middle school for the '06-'07 year, and it was bad. Very, very bad. And we were out of options in the town for him. Thus, she moved five hours away, with her husband, my brother and my half-brother (a wee one), to a town that she loved to get him better schooling. I flat-out refused to go with them. I hate this town, and I couldn't spend the last two years of school not finishing it out with the people I've been with for, sometimes, 12 years. So, I stayed with my dad.
We never really got along before, and we didn't now. It got to the point where I would come home and be in my room for the rest of the day so I didn't have to deal with him. We still had the occasional fights (whenever we spoke) but it was manageable.
Recently, he's taken some serious issue with me not wanting to talk to him, and we've tried family therapy. We were arguing more and more every day until, last Saturday morning, he went nuclear on me. Absolutely, incredibly nuclear. So, given that I was due, on Monday, to come up to the town my mom lives to spend 6 weeks with her, I figured, "I don't need to deal with this shit anymore". I packed what I needed, and spent a few days out with friends out whatever. When I had driven the 5 hours up to this place, I found all my stuff waiting for me. All of it.
TL;DR starts here.
Now, my mother and I are brainstorming of ways to get me to be able to finish out my senior year of High School in Santa Fe. We're not having a ton of luck. She's known how bad things are with my dad, and I've told her there are only two things I want in the world right now; to finish out school in the town that has been my home since 2nd grade, and to not live with my father ever again. There have been a few options.
1) Spend the year with a friend. Only problem is, the only friend I could really do this with, his parents are currently going through a divorce, and it's a pretty wacky household anyway. I wouldn't even have my own room. Besides, even that's not a sure thing. His mother knew that I wasn't happy at my dad's, so offered for me to stay there, but the offer was hardly boundsless.
2) Spend the year with my grandparents. This isn't even close to ideal. They live a half an hour, at least, out of town, I don't know them very well but my mother and I aren't particularly fond of them. I really don't even think this is an option.
3) Spend the year alone. My mother is a little open to this, but it would take some convincing. I'm a pretty independent 17 year-old, but I am still only a teenager, albeit one that can cook for himself, fix simple house issues, etc, etc. There are a few things going for me in this situation, like the fact that I lived in the guest house at my mom's house and was, except for the occasional washed load of clothes, alone at my dad's. I know I could handle it, but how can I convince her? This is the situation that I, obviously, am pushing for the hardest.
Any other ideas? Input on the above ideas? Anything?
My parents divorced when I was eight. Since then, I've spent the majority of time with my mom, with either the occasional weekend or no time with my dad. My brother, who is autistic and epileptic, entered a new middle school for the '06-'07 year, and it was bad. Very, very bad. And we were out of options in the town for him. Thus, she moved five hours away, with her husband, my brother and my half-brother (a wee one), to a town that she loved to get him better schooling. I flat-out refused to go with them. I hate this town, and I couldn't spend the last two years of school not finishing it out with the people I've been with for, sometimes, 12 years. So, I stayed with my dad.
We never really got along before, and we didn't now. It got to the point where I would come home and be in my room for the rest of the day so I didn't have to deal with him. We still had the occasional fights (whenever we spoke) but it was manageable.
Recently, he's taken some serious issue with me not wanting to talk to him, and we've tried family therapy. We were arguing more and more every day until, last Saturday morning, he went nuclear on me. Absolutely, incredibly nuclear. So, given that I was due, on Monday, to come up to the town my mom lives to spend 6 weeks with her, I figured, "I don't need to deal with this shit anymore". I packed what I needed, and spent a few days out with friends out whatever. When I had driven the 5 hours up to this place, I found all my stuff waiting for me. All of it.
TL;DR starts here.
Now, my mother and I are brainstorming of ways to get me to be able to finish out my senior year of High School in Santa Fe. We're not having a ton of luck. She's known how bad things are with my dad, and I've told her there are only two things I want in the world right now; to finish out school in the town that has been my home since 2nd grade, and to not live with my father ever again. There have been a few options.
1) Spend the year with a friend. Only problem is, the only friend I could really do this with, his parents are currently going through a divorce, and it's a pretty wacky household anyway. I wouldn't even have my own room. Besides, even that's not a sure thing. His mother knew that I wasn't happy at my dad's, so offered for me to stay there, but the offer was hardly boundsless.
2) Spend the year with my grandparents. This isn't even close to ideal. They live a half an hour, at least, out of town, I don't know them very well but my mother and I aren't particularly fond of them. I really don't even think this is an option.
3) Spend the year alone. My mother is a little open to this, but it would take some convincing. I'm a pretty independent 17 year-old, but I am still only a teenager, albeit one that can cook for himself, fix simple house issues, etc, etc. There are a few things going for me in this situation, like the fact that I lived in the guest house at my mom's house and was, except for the occasional washed load of clothes, alone at my dad's. I know I could handle it, but how can I convince her? This is the situation that I, obviously, am pushing for the hardest.
Any other ideas? Input on the above ideas? Anything?
Charles Kinbote on
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If you do plan to go independent, I assume you're planning to get a job to pay for it?
I'm not sure if I fully expressed this, but I absolutely despise the town my mom lives in. It's tiny, I haven't met a person I like, it just isn't for me.
And not to be a dick, but I've been in the same town since I was 7. There is nothing more I want in the world than to finish out my single remaining school year in the company of people I've watched grow from children to adults. Frankly, doing anything but spending the year down there is simply not an option, and thankfully my mother seems to recognize that.
1) suck it up and just transfer to a school where your mom lives. This is more practical both for you and her.
2) Find a cheap apartment and go through the motions back near your father. this is very impractical because ti places a huge finnacial burden on your mother and yourself (not just rent, but groceries, utilities, fuel etc)
I'm trying to do the latter...the woman is absolutely fucking loaded, so she could handle it, the real concern is convincing her I can handle it.
Regardless, I am finishing out my year there. I don't see why you folks are having such difficulty with this.
Then you already know your answer so what are you asking for?
Also, saying your mom is loaded and relying on her to support you because you will not make a logical, mature choice is pretty disgusting. Even if she does have lots of money, you are not entitled to it, and it makes no sense why she would support you when you cannot live with her and help support her/your brother.
Sorry if I am a litle harsh it is nothing personal, it just really gets to me when I see situations like this.
I'm asking for other options on how to stay in the town I live in, if there are any I've overlooked.
He's asking for practical advice regarding independence and what options he has, dickhead. He's not trying to decide whether or not he's moving. Jesus.
Anyway, I would ignore these five-star retards and do what you want, as long as you understand the ramifications, which you seem to. If you can convince your mother to cover the actual rent while you work to cover living expenses and whatnot, you could pretty happily live out your year. If you think you're responsible enough to deal with the trappings of real life, then, by golly, go for it.
Just be prepared to eat Ramen noodles and ride your bicycle because gas is too expensive, etc.
Trust me when I say I won't exactly be partying it up. I've been to raves and shit; that isn't fun. My mother understands my absolute hatred for the town she lives in, and she is going to help me stay in town.
I'm not relying on her to pay for me. There are other options, but someone brought up money and I'm just trying to make the point that if it comes to it, if somehow my own funds ran out, I could make do until I got back on my feet.
Thanks for being the first person in this thread that hasn't been an ass.
As far as budgetary things go, yeah, it's convenient that I like ricearoni, and I actually bought a bike yesterday in preparation for using it to get around. I probably wouldn't be completely relying on what I can make from working to pay for food and utilities, but a large part of it would probably be that, and I'm completely willing to take the hit in nutrition and convenience if it means staying in town.
Anyways, I would just make a deal with your mom where you have to check in with her every night and let her know what you're up to and stuff. And if you fuck up, deals off and you move in with your dad or your mom.
An outright refusal to consider moving just smells like youthful naivete to us.
Edit: I'm not saying you have to cut off all ties and never see your friends again. Just, the day is going to come when you're not going to be hanging out with these people on a daily basis.
That's more of a reason to spend and enjoy one last year doing so.
Besides, exactly as chuck said, if I'm never going to be seeing them again, I want to spend this last year with them.
I don't expect you people that moved during high school or even elementary school to understand this, but the people of this town are my family. I've grown up with them, I'm the person I am because of them, and I've watched every single one of them go from a giggling, snot-nosed toddler to an adult. The idea of not finishing out this single year, of not getting a chance to say goodbye to every single one of the 200-300 people I know intimately is, simply put, inconceivable.
Anyways, if you do manage to stick around in your town you should enjoy it.. lord knows you will never get those days back.
So with that in mind, does anyone have any advice for a teenager looking for an apartment in Santa Fe, New Mexico?