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I'm tired of being marginal

AcesAces Registered User regular
edited August 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Okay, so I've decided to make a complete change in my life. The long and short of it is, I'd like to do everything I can to try and better myself, and so I think this includes:

1 Learning everything I can, and becoming familiar with everything the world can possibly offer me.

2 Writing prolifically: I have been sitting around doing nothing for so long and I've always felt that it just wasn't time yet, that in a year or so I'd really do something, write something and keep writing and actually trying to establish a career as a successful (at least financially-- to live comfortably with) writer, maybe carrying into other artistic endeavors, including music and drawing.

3 A body that reflects the soul: I would like to no longer be mediocre physically and this would require a complete change in exercise and overall fitness and dieting. (This is something I'll talk about later, and I need help from you guys here, too.

4 Expanding into other cultures and developing language skills. I see no reason why I cannot be fluent in many languages.

And that's it. I'ts a wake up call. I'd like to not be comfortable with being marginal any more. I'd like to be meaningful, and have my actions reflect that meaning. The items I outlined are what I deem appropriate for completely changing my life. At least the main ways to undertake such a drastic change, so I'd be welcome to further suggestion; and I would think it goes without saying I'd appreciate being taken seriously, as I am obviously opening myself up here.

And so I'm asking for help in the third item: a body that reflects the soul. Is it so unrealistic to think you can completely change into a very healthy person? :How would you completely change your lifestyle to be an extremely healthy person (so I am looking for general suggestions on dieting and exercising, basically, if you wanted to get into very good shape, how would you change your life?)




Thanks

- Aces

Aces on

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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    For diet and exercise, check the fitness thread.

    As for the languages, the reason you can't be fluent in many languages is because most people can't be fluent in many languages; 2 is difficult if you haven't been speaking both from a very young age, three is ridiculously hard, and 4 is pretty much impossible for 99.99% of the population.

    Thanatos on
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    Dulcius_ex_asperisDulcius_ex_asperis Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I've read that many people have a mental language block when they reach adulthood.

    How many languages do you speak now? I am a Spanish student and I don't think it would be impossible for me to learn other languages, because I love it.

    And the reason 99.99% of the population can't learn more than 3 languages is because most people never try to. If it's something you really want to do and you're willing to really, realllllllly try, you can do it. That sounds so cheesy. But I fully plan on learning several other languages after becoming fluent in Spanish. I mean, the first editor of the OED, James Murray, spoke English, Italian, French, Spanish, Catalan, and Latin...apparently he was fluent (at least according to the people at Oxford University Press) in all 6.

    So..who's to say? It's really up to you, I think. And your determination/previous language experience.

    Dulcius_ex_asperis on
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    RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    if you want to speak several languages well
    ahaha ohhhh boy
    you are either going to be learning for a veeeeeery long time
    or will constantly be mixing up words

    RubberAC on
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    Burning OrganBurning Organ Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Fuck languages, I know Swedish, Finnish, English and a little german....
    I can't speak any of them properly now. And keeping track of the various ways of spelling words that sound so similar is just a pain.

    Burning Organ on
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    LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Aces wrote: »
    And so I'm asking for help in the third item: a body that reflects the soul.

    It sounds to me like you want to make a mental as well as physical shift. I would recommend going to the gym three times a week (ask in the fitness thread), and go to Tai Chi classes.

    Tai Chi will help you relax and calm yourself, but it is also good for increasing body suppleness and improving balance. Once you get fairly good, you can quite easily stand without holding onto anything on a bus or train.

    If you want to go all the way, you could try reading something like The Tao of Pooh. Its interesting to read about philosophies. I would be a liar if I called myself a Taoist, but I did take a lot of good away from that book and it's explanations of the stories of Taoism. The Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Urban Warrior is a "hip" version of Taoist teachings, which helps you transpose the ideas to modern life a bit more. I like to keep both around when I am feeling a little off-kilter. I do avoid some of the crazier shit in the Urban Warrior, but it also has some great visualisation techniques, which if you can get over their inherent oddness (like visualising a psychic shield that protects you from bad vibes) will actually make you feel pretty good. It's mostly non-weird stuff though (honest).

    Lewisham on
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    Uncle LongUncle Long Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Sounds to me like an identity crisis. Everyone needs one of these from time to time. Hopefully it works out for you and you really end up a better person.

    The best advice I can give you: just do it (tm). And keep doing it.

    Uncle Long on
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    RohaqRohaq UKRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    It's always good to see someone willing to better themselves. I like to rate myself using the same method I used when I was growing up: You know when you used to look back six months, and think 'My god, I was so immature back then!'? I look at life in the same way: If I look back 6-12 months and can't see a significant improvement, I look at ways that I can improve my life. Achievable ways, that is.

    In my case, I moved out of my parents' place, got a better job, changed my look to something I found more appealing, and such, and feel much better for it. In another six months, who knows? But I'll be looking at what I can do then, too.

    As for your targets: It may not be possible for you to learn so many languages. Learning, especially in terms of languages, is far, far easier when you're young, however once you're older, you become a lot less receptive to new information. I'd consider perhaps trying to learn one language, and then basing your future decisions regarding learning more from that experience. You don't want to waste precious time learning languages if it's going to take you two years at a time, after all, when there are other, far more useful things you could be doing.

    Physically, you will need to set yourself some time aside if you want to achieve this, and be willing to work hard: It's easy to say 'I will get fit.', people do it every year after Christmas, but how many people do you think actually achieve it? Some people do, but don't understand that this is a lifestyle change, not a temporary thing, however if you're prepared to make that change, then fair enough.

    Writing: There are so many authors out there who are unable to create a sustainable source of income from their works. Unless you can find a niche and sell a fair amount of books, then you may be disappointed at this. I have one friend who's written and published 3 books so far, and doesn't earn enough to keep her above water. In the meantime, I have a another friend who has written one, managed to get into the Amazon top 50 and is starting to make some money.

    Rohaq on
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    ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I don't think learning multiple languages is ridiculously hard. I know three languages fluently (speak, read and write at native level in 2 of them, close enough in the other) and I don't feel like there's some barrier stopping me from learning more. Of course, it's much easier for a child to learn languages than it is for an adult, but I don't think it's ridiculously hard.

    That said, it will probably be time-consuming if you're just learning out of a book or CD or something and not being immersed in the language and culture as part of everyday life.

    Zoolander on
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    METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Lewisham wrote: »
    Aces wrote: »
    And so I'm asking for help in the third item: a body that reflects the soul.

    It sounds to me like you want to make a mental as well as physical shift. I would recommend going to the gym three times a week (ask in the fitness thread), and go to Tai Chi classes.

    Tai Chi will help you relax and calm yourself, but it is also good for increasing body suppleness and improving balance. Once you get fairly good, you can quite easily stand without holding onto anything on a bus or train.

    If you want to go all the way, you could try reading something like The Tao of Pooh. Its interesting to read about philosophies. I would be a liar if I called myself a Taoist, but I did take a lot of good away from that book and it's explanations of the stories of Taoism. The Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Urban Warrior is a "hip" version of Taoist teachings, which helps you transpose the ideas to modern life a bit more. I like to keep both around when I am feeling a little off-kilter. I do avoid some of the crazier shit in the Urban Warrior, but it also has some great visualisation techniques, which if you can get over their inherent oddness (like visualising a psychic shield that protects you from bad vibes) will actually make you feel pretty good. It's mostly non-weird stuff though (honest).
    I totally agree with this, and not just cus I'm a Taoist. The Tao of Pooh is a great, simple book that might help you achieve a little focus and balance in your life. OSHO's book "Freedom" is something else I'd recommend if you want a fresh perspective. I've overhauled my views on relationships with other people completely because of this book. You can find the chapter that deals with that up on my blog if you're interested (and I'm not site-whoring, just check out the top blog, I typed up the whole chapter). One of the steps to becoming an ubermensch is to break down the foundations of your life and come to understand yourself in the entirety, so I suggest that you seek out things that challenge how you think and exist if you want to really change.

    Health-wise, hit the gym, take up a sport, get a physical adviser or someone to help you set up diet plans, and stick to it. Of course you can change, you are not enslaved to your habits, but you're going to need the resolve to do it. Some people can do this on their own, and some need guidance and oversight. Regardless, committing yourself via schedules and payments can be a good instigating force to start. Also, if you have any friends that would join you or that already work out/play sports, you should talk to them.

    On eating healthy, you should look into vegetarian/vegan dishes. I'm not saying you have to become one, just that you're going to find a lot of healthy foods that you could try out.

    METAzraeL on

    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
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    WuckFarcraftWuckFarcraft Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    While many people here probably won't agree, I would stop playing video games and limit computer and TV use when possible.

    I have started to do that and it opens up time for other things that have ultimately benefited me greatly. I have started to read a lot of good books, bought a gym set, and doing other activities such as swimming/running regularly and playing basketball 3 times a week at a local park.

    WuckFarcraft on
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    Cynic JesterCynic Jester Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    As someone who is fluent in three languages and passable in three more, believe me when I say that if you want to be truly fluent in a language, you need to move to a country where the language is spoken. Unless you speak it daily, in a normal day to day setting, you will never reach what can be considered fluent. Schools, courses and what have yous are awesome when it comes to the written parts of the language, the grammar and to a lesser extent a decent vocabulary, but it is all just a stepping stone on the way to becoming fluent. True fluency can only be achived by speaking the language every day for an extended period of time. Especially if you are learning several languages at any one time. Otherwise you'll just end up mixing up the languages. Generally, the best idea is to focus on one language at a time, maybe two if they are widely different in both structure and vocabulary as that helps differentiate between the two.

    Cynic Jester on
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    METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    While many people here probably won't agree, I would stop playing video games and limit computer and TV use when possible.

    I have started to do that and it opens up time for other things that have ultimately benefited me greatly. I have started to read a lot of good books, bought a gym set, and doing other activities such as swimming/running regularly and playing basketball 3 times a week at a local park.
    Haha, does your name have anything to do with that? I actually agree, save games for real downtime, not for your main method of entertainment.

    METAzraeL on

    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
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    Gunner2150Gunner2150 Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    If you really feel like giving serious commitment, a 3-5 year term of military service will give you unique skills and probably put you into better shape if you make the most of it.

    I bolded that part because, depending on how you wanna take the challenge, your mileage will vary. A lot.

    Anyway, as an example infantry soldier, you will:

    -Do running, exercises, and general calisthenics at least 5 days a week
    -Pretty much be forced away from the computer (there is still a lot of time to read if you bring a book with you but not much time for games)

    -Learn survival skills (creating shelter, foraging for food, camouflage, entrenchments)
    -Learn combat skills (Assault Rifle or Carbine, at least 2 different Machine Guns, Grenades and Grenade Launchers, personal Anti armor weapons - yes, rocket launchers)
    -Learn communication skills (calling out targets, hand signals, operating personal and platoon radios both analog and digital, basic radio theory and maintenance)
    -Learn offroad driving skills and basic auto mechanic skills (for HMMVWs a.k.a Humvees as well as trucks)
    -Learn first aid and basic medical skills to keep people alive

    People think it's just mindless running and gunning, but a good soldier uses a lot of learned skills every day to survive when deployed. It's actually a pretty difficult job, deceptively so since it's so easy to get in.

    And if any area above appeals to you in particular, there are specializations to become dedicated in that position.

    That said, I'm in the Artillery - not the Infantry - and personally I think we do a much more interesting job since we are trained in 90% of what the Infantry does and then get an entirely new set of gunnery centered skills to learn on top of that.

    Oh, and the language thing... pretty much, at this point, I think you either have a knack for learning them or you don't. I've tried becoming bilingual and it was a disaster, especially so since I was immersed in the language I couldn't grasp or handle. You might be better than I.

    Gunner2150 on
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    endlesswaltzendlesswaltz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I just wanted to add a sentence about the languages bit.

    Your goal will depend on how good you are with languages (some are just better than others, like some people are better at math or something), how much time/effort you put into it, and how familiar you are with the new languages you will be learning. The first two points look like they're well explained already so I'll just say something about the last. What I mean is, if you choose a language that's more similar to English, say Spanish or Italian, it will probably be easier than learning Chinese or Indian. It has to do with how the grammar and/or pronounciation work. I'm strictly speaking assuming you are a native English speaker from U.S. (or something like UK, Austrailia.. etc.) Naturally some sounds will be harder etc. But just so you know, try not to pick the hard one (you know, the ones FBI and CIA are always recruiting people who already speak them because they're more difficult to learn by a U.S. born/raised person) as your first language to be fluent.

    Good luck!

    endlesswaltz on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ^ (Note, there aren't any languages called Chinese or Indian.)

    But yeah, for example, once you have Spanish down, Italian would be pretty damn easy.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    meekermeeker Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I hate to be a downer, but I think you may have bitten off more than you can chew...

    Pick one thing, say "lose 20 lbs and be able to run 5 miles" and do that, then pick the next thing, etc.

    You may be having an identity crisis and it sounds like you really just wish you were a superhero. Take smaller goals and achieve them, the reward should be the experience. Otherwise you will just have this huge list of nearly impossible goals and no idea where to start to achieve them.

    meeker on
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    CojonesCojones Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ^ (Note, there aren't any languages called Chinese or Indian.)

    But yeah, for example, once you have Spanish down, Italian would be pretty damn easy.
    Technically, we should be using the term "Castilian" instead of "Spanish".

    Most of the advice in this thread is absolutely sound but I'd like to suggest the possibility of learning how to play an instrument well; it's a good use of time and something where you can see yourself improving relatively quickly(this always serves to spur me on).

    Cojones on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Touché.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    How old are you? If you're still a teenager, then this is a great drive to have. If not, and I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, you may have to slim your linguistic goals down depending on how far past that mark you've gone. You can still get pretty fit as long as you're not over 40, but you won't be able to learn more than one other language without total immersion, i.e. living somewhere abroad for at least 2 years.

    Also, if you support yourself you need to make absolutely sure your financial situation is stable, and you will more than likely need to keep working during this whole processs.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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    Steel FireSteel Fire Gunboat Diplomat PAI MarketingRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'm going to have to agree with Gunner on this, a stint in the military sounds like a good thing for you, if you really want to make this drastic a change in your life. Because in addition to what was stated, it will give you the discipline necessary to achieve all those things you want to achieve. This will be especially good if you are going basically from low/no achievement to trying to achieve a lot.

    Whatever you do, just realise that it is going to be a long, slow process; years.

    Steel Fire on
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    rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'd have to say the best way to learn a new language is to actually move to where that is the primary language.

    Or marry someone who speaks it as a fist language.

    A friend of mine married a Mexican and their basically learning each other's language from the other. She is learning Spanish much quicker than he is English. You should hear her she speak freaking quick and the accent and crap changes DRASTICALLY when she switch between the two.
    She's only 20 and hasn't been married long.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
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    Folken FanelFolken Fanel anime af When's KoFRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    meeker wrote: »
    I hate to be a downer, but I think you may have bitten off more than you can chew...

    Pick one thing, say "lose 20 lbs and be able to run 5 miles" and do that, then pick the next thing, etc.

    You may be having an identity crisis and it sounds like you really just wish you were a superhero. Take smaller goals and achieve them, the reward should be the experience. Otherwise you will just have this huge list of nearly impossible goals and no idea where to start to achieve them.

    Start with small goals. Build from there.

    Folken Fanel on
    Twitter: Folken_fgc Steam: folken_ XBL: flashg03 PSN: folken_PA SFV: folken_
    Dyvim Tvar wrote: »
    Characters I hate:

    Everybody @Folken Fanel plays as.
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    Limp mooseLimp moose Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    In all seriousness Join the armed forces.

    The fitness benefits if you choose to take advantage of them are self explanatory. They will teach you a new skill or profession something you will be motivated to excel at not only by peer pressure but also by the reward of higher pay / promotion. You will get to travel the world and experience other cultures. (not just blowing them up either.) If the thought of going to Iraq or Afghanistan bothers you join the navy or air force they have thousands of stateside billets.

    Lots of young people join the service to get a jump on life. Just sounds like you need some new direction.

    I typed this before i read gunners post. but yeah what he said.

    I joined the navy 5 years ago and have loved every min of it.

    Limp moose on
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    Dulcius_ex_asperisDulcius_ex_asperis Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ^ (Note, there aren't any languages called Chinese or Indian.)

    But yeah, for example, once you have Spanish down, Italian would be pretty damn easy.

    So would French. Or Portuguese or Romanian. Any of the Romance languages.
    Cojones wrote: »
    Technically, we should be using the term "Castilian" instead of "Spanish".

    The main official language of Spain (and by that, I mean, understood/spoken pretty much everywhere) is most commonly known as Spanish.

    Castilian is kind of antiquated.

    To the OP: I agree that it depends on whether you're interested in Arabic or Mandarin or Spanish, as a language choice, but I have a friend who learned Greek in college and is now fluent, another friend who is learning Arabic and loves it, and yet another friend who speaks/writes/reads Greek and Hebrew fluently. It's not impossible. It may take years of work. But it can be done if you're handy with languages. And if you're not, someone else recommended an instrument. That sounds good. (I am one of those who is good with language but terrible with instruments:()

    Dulcius_ex_asperis on
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