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Where is the line drawn?
Rohaq
UKRegistered User regular
UKRegistered User regular
So I'm checking my RSS feeds during my downtime, when I stumble across this story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/6934189.stm
This story and the reaction of the authorities seem unusually calm, considering that a 13 year old girl is in a relationship with, and has seemingly disappeared with a 21 year old man. What differs in this situation and others that prevent this from becoming a nationwide manhunt?
Basically, where is the line drawn (in either social or legal terms, if you prefer) between someone being considered a pervert and someone having what is considered a legitimate relationship with a minor? Is the latter even considered acceptable in western society?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/6934189.stm
bbc.co.uk wrote:Hunt for girl, 13, and boyfriend
Police are growing increasingly concerned about a young couple who have gone missing from Portsmouth.
Melissa Cheatle, 13, left her home in Crown Street at around 1000 BST on Sunday with her 21-year-old boyfriend, James Chester.
Hampshire police said both of their mobile phones were switched off and Melissa, who does not have access to any money, took no belongings with her.
Melissa's family told police her disappearance was "out of character".
Parents' concern
It is not known where the couple were going, but James mentioned to his parents that he was planning to see a friend in Southampton, police said.
Melissa, who recently changed her surname from Peck, is never usually away from home overnight without telling her parents and both families are growing concerned.
Pc Adam Robson said: "It's very out of character for Melissa to be away from home without telling her parents and they're growing very concerned.
"I'd appeal to Melissa and James to contact police urgently.
This story and the reaction of the authorities seem unusually calm, considering that a 13 year old girl is in a relationship with, and has seemingly disappeared with a 21 year old man. What differs in this situation and others that prevent this from becoming a nationwide manhunt?
Basically, where is the line drawn (in either social or legal terms, if you prefer) between someone being considered a pervert and someone having what is considered a legitimate relationship with a minor? Is the latter even considered acceptable in western society?
Rohaq on
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As for whether it's moral, that's a whole different matter.
Personally? I think a 21 year old dating a 13 year old is creepy as fuck.
Of course, at the same time, should we really be saying that the government can stop something that quickly?
Now, this probably should be a nation-wide search for the two at this point, but while a 21 year old dating a 13 year old is creepy as fuck, I'd far sooner let non-sexual dating occur between a 21 year old and a 13 year old than further expand just what counts as a 'sex offender'.
So legally acceptable, but not morally? Out of interest, why the latter? If two people, one being a minor, are in a consensual, non-abusive, non-sexual relationship, where's the moral issue?
I love that the equation actually works almost without fail.
Someone should establish a cult.
In other news, the title of this thread makes me want to yell "The Line Is Drawn HERE! THIS IS SPAR-TA!"
Parental rights are a really tricky issue for me, I still haven't figured them out.
Because they're really an awesome couple.
Creepy and awesome aren't mutually exclusive.
It's a creepy age combination. If their personal chemistry overcomes that, great. Still a creepy age combination.
I'm 31, half my age plus seven is, at best, 23.
I find women at 23 to be annoying.
... I find most women to be annoying, for that matter.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
Do you find 23 year old bears to be annoying? :winky:
Actually that equation gets me a 19 year old. Oddly enough the 19 year old women I've dealt with lately were pretty annoying as well. I think a better term is vapid though.
You do a great deal of growing up during this time. The problem is that some do it early, some dont do it till mid 20's...
I find them a-gnawing... *guffaw*
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
In my job (phone based tech support) I've dealt with teenagers who are willing to listen to technical advice, to 60-something year old men who will hurl abuse because they forgot to pay their bill and have been temporarily blocked. I think it's more a case of individual people being annoying than anything else. From my experience, age seems to bear little relevance to mental maturity.
"Immoral" is highly subjective.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
Also, that equation is awesome for young'uns, but I think it starts to break down when people hit their 30s. Like, a 35 year old and a 20 year old doesn't strike me as "creepy", because both parties are entirely mature enough to be making their own decisions; it's not an exploitative relationship, it's just somewhat unconventional.
I'll be fine, just give me a minute, a man's got a limit, I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.
Well, more htan that, I've yet to see a truly, functional, equal relationship where the age difference was proportionally significant.
Hey... whatever works for them as long as it's not illegal or harmful in some way, but it's still kinda wierd to see some 35 year old guy with a 21 year old on his arm. There's just no way that can be an equal partnership when one of the partners is almost as old as the other's parent.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
I think women right around the age of 30 are my favorite. Which works out well given my own age. :P
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
I'm in my mid 20s, and my wife is in her mid 30s, so we just barely violate the equation. However, the reason I'm with her is that I can't stand 90% of women under 25. Seriously, the genuine person / vacuous child ratio is terribly low under 30.
You would think her parents would have done something when she brought home a guy that had to shave.
I'm gonna say something really unpopular right now.
Something happens to most people at certain ages. The old expression, I believe it was Samuel Clemens that said "The older I get the smart my father becomes." or somethign to that effect. I often say that it was remarkable just how smart my dad got when I reached the age of 21. I think that effect is almost universal, or at least it's commonplace.
For some reason it also happens when a person reaches the age of about 30 or so something happens to their brain and they start to be even more open to perspective. I find myself, in the last two years or so, more and more able to consider other attitudes and ways of thinking. Priorities change and people seem to become more rounded just by virtue of... aw hell, I don't know what, but I definately notice a difference in many folks, including myself.
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but your post made me think of it.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
What are the ages? I suppose I spoke too quickly in asserting that "in no way... blah, blah" but I feel safe in saying that it's most certainly got to be rare.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
I agree with you in principal, but attaching ages to psychological development seems silly. Regardless, I think your estimates are accurate for most people, because most have events in common. The period between 18 to 21 is where you're living without your parents, so you have to be (more) responsible for yourself. After college, you have to actually start paying your own rent and you may learn that things don't get handed to you in a neat package anymore.
Some people, unfortunately, go their whole lives without learning these things.
Neither... really... I just got thinking and posted a neat observation of what I consider to be a general phenomenon of the human condition in 21st Century North American society.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
I've got to agree in most cases: Hell, I've even noticed that people in their 20s can be dull. If I think back a few years I used to enjoy my summers, go outside, meet up with friends, hang out, play football, hell even just drink (albeit less than legally) and chat in the park.
Now people can't seem to have a good time unless they're spending money, doing something big, or mass-organising something, otherwise, they seem to be content sitting on their asses and watching TV. It's kind of depressing.
I don't think it's too creepy when a couple have ten years or so apart, but they're both consenting adults. It's hypocritical, I know, but to me there's a difference between a large age difference (21 to 13), and a large age difference (35 to 23). That girl has had no time to mature, and she's being taken advantage of mentally and physically.
I'm in my mid 20's and I would definately date and older woman, and I would still date a girl in college probably, but I would feel sick even looking twice (once is alright, if they're hot) at a girl in high school, eighteen or not.
One of my friends' former interests is 19. She is dating a man, her father's friend, who is 50. Everyone around them expresses mild disapproval of the situation, but nothing extreme.
When I found out, I flipped out. I immediately advised that my friend stop pursuing her, because she has (in my mind) severe self-esteem issues and absolutely nothing good could come of it. And guess what? Nothing good came of it.
Extreme cases like that make me sick.
My thirtysomething friends throw drinking Double Dash parties and have the most killer new year's parties I've ever seen.
I think your friends just suck.