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A slew of problems, help!
Kami
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay, I'll try to make this as basic as possible, although things get complicated quickly.
I've lived with my girlfriend for the past year or so, and we've been together for nearly three years. We've had a very good relationship, and clicked really well not only as a couple, but as seperate individuals. I have a very good job at a very big company, and I enjoy my work. However, I'm sure you all have a friend who has a bit of a curse: They don't have many problems in life, but whenever one hits, about thirty others hit, all at the same time.
This is me.
Two days ago, I learned that my job has turned into exactly the opposite of what it normally is. Instead of selling merchandise with inbound sales calls, I'm now doing outbound customer service calls, telling these people that their product, the one they spent thousands of dollars on, won't be delivered to them until God knows when. Shitty.
Last night, the double-whammy happened. I get a phonecall before leaving work, telling me my grandmother had a stroke. She's had Alzhiemer's for the past few years, and she's been in and out of reality. After this stroke, she's pretty disabled, and slurs her speech tremendously. She also tried drinking peroxide, thinking it was water, until we had her flush her system out with water. Thank God she lived through that, right? Right!
Then, after getting home to my girlfriend, we 'have a talk'.
She dumps me.
Now, there's this trifecta of bullshit that can't get any more ridiculous, and I'm trying to know exactly what to do. I'm still living with my girlfriend, and will have to until fucking May of next year, unless I want to pony-up a few thousand dollars to pay my half of the lease off. I can't take care of my grandmother, because of my *now* shitty job. I'm very, very frustrated, and getting very depressed, as I don't know what to do, and there seems to be nothing immediately hopeful happening in my near future.
I'm calling alot of friends, staying out more, and generally trying to keep my mind off of things. I'm formally trained as an illustrator, so I doodle in my spare time. I also play guitar and game, so I'll have plenty of distractions.
However, knowing I'm going to a shitty job, coming home to my ex-girlfriend, and not being able to take care of my grandmother is killing me, and I can feel depression creeping in.
Help?
I've lived with my girlfriend for the past year or so, and we've been together for nearly three years. We've had a very good relationship, and clicked really well not only as a couple, but as seperate individuals. I have a very good job at a very big company, and I enjoy my work. However, I'm sure you all have a friend who has a bit of a curse: They don't have many problems in life, but whenever one hits, about thirty others hit, all at the same time.
This is me.
Two days ago, I learned that my job has turned into exactly the opposite of what it normally is. Instead of selling merchandise with inbound sales calls, I'm now doing outbound customer service calls, telling these people that their product, the one they spent thousands of dollars on, won't be delivered to them until God knows when. Shitty.
Last night, the double-whammy happened. I get a phonecall before leaving work, telling me my grandmother had a stroke. She's had Alzhiemer's for the past few years, and she's been in and out of reality. After this stroke, she's pretty disabled, and slurs her speech tremendously. She also tried drinking peroxide, thinking it was water, until we had her flush her system out with water. Thank God she lived through that, right? Right!
Then, after getting home to my girlfriend, we 'have a talk'.
She dumps me.
Now, there's this trifecta of bullshit that can't get any more ridiculous, and I'm trying to know exactly what to do. I'm still living with my girlfriend, and will have to until fucking May of next year, unless I want to pony-up a few thousand dollars to pay my half of the lease off. I can't take care of my grandmother, because of my *now* shitty job. I'm very, very frustrated, and getting very depressed, as I don't know what to do, and there seems to be nothing immediately hopeful happening in my near future.
I'm calling alot of friends, staying out more, and generally trying to keep my mind off of things. I'm formally trained as an illustrator, so I doodle in my spare time. I also play guitar and game, so I'll have plenty of distractions.
However, knowing I'm going to a shitty job, coming home to my ex-girlfriend, and not being able to take care of my grandmother is killing me, and I can feel depression creeping in.
Help?
Kami on
0
Posts
as for the job, is it going to get better ever? do you really feel like just riding it out and seeing? if not look for a new job while keeping this one, much easier said than done but if you;re never going to be happy at it then why stay if you find something else?
i'd aslo try my ass off to sublease if you can, maybe even talk to your landlord about gettign you out of the lease, ive had a couple landlords i got along pretty well with and if you can find someone else sometimes they don't really care. i'd also try to be as civil as posible with the ex, a shitty roomate is awful, and girls are great at making your life hell if they want to
i dunno man, start likeing ska? its at least more fun to celebrate failure than to wallow in it.
As for your grandmother, that sucks balls, I'm sorry. But to be frank, living with Alzheimer's sucks. I think at the point where you're mistaking peroxide for water, it's safe to say that the brain function has slid to a point where continued living is not really all that pleasant. (I'm speaking here from the perspective of someone whose had a terminally ill parent for over a decade. Not only is there basically nothing I can do, I would give my left testicle if I could speed up his death and finally put him out of his misery.)
As for your job, is it possible to talk to your boss about switching positions? Or else start looking for a new one...
Good luck.
Depending on how far along your grandmothers illness is, you may not be in any sort of condition to take care of her at all. That's best left for professionals, and quite honestly you should be spending the time you have left with her doing the good things, not changing diapers.
You can get out of a lease, it's not against the law to break it. You probably wont get your deposit back. If there's a waitlist to move in at your complex though, you wont be stuck paying for more than a month or so. It's the law that the property owner has to make an effort at re-renting the apartment.
Also, who is on the lease? Both of you? If it's just you... kick her ass out and get a roomate. The job thing sucks, but it can ALWAYS be worse. You're not happy with your job, but at least you have one. You can always find another, and it's not yet an emergency (financially?) that you need to.
So, keep an eye out for another job.
Look into breaking the lease or kicking your ex girlfriend out.
I am sorry about your grandmother, but it's out of your hands and there's no reason for guilt.
Both of us are on the lease, though I signed my name as a cosigner.
Many thanks for the advice, guys. Keep it coming, please. :^:
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Stick with the shitty job for awhile, while you get your living situation squared away. Once that's done, start looking for a new job, while continuing to work at your current job.
I don't know what to tell you about your grandmother, man; that sucks. Really, though, it needs to be your grandmother's children's responsibility, not yours.
The key here is to not give up what you have at the moment, if only to stay afloat. The job may be shit, but it's better than being unemployed. Don't back out of that, and don't back out of the apartment. If it somehow has to be you leaving the apartment, then do so when you know where you're going after. Trying to leave ASAP could bring up other issues.
My question is how she's responded to the news of your grandmother, if only to get a better perspective of her.
My prayers out to your grandmother. Hang in there dude.
Yer, been there, it's not great. I sympathise.
Can't offer any advice for the specific problems, but as to dealing with the whole clusterfuck: sit down, work out which ones you can do anything about, and prioritise those for which you can do something. Work out what that something you can do is, for each one individually. Next day, sit down again, work out how those solutions might affect each other & change accordingly.
Then just deal with one problem at a time, and fuck the other ones off to the back of your mind however you can. Dealing with one at a time is the best route to maintain sanity.
I'm getting my life back in order. Yesterday, my girlfriend brought up the fact that she wanted me to leave. We had a pretty heated discussion, and she realized what a jackass she was for breaking up with me and kicking me out. I did alot of soul-searching (as corny as that sounds), and I finally found out what I want to do.
I'm moving. Out of state. I'm starting over, essentially, moving in with my father. This will give me many, many options:
1) I'll be under a secure roof with family again
2) I'll be able to start my social life from scratch, essentially.
3) I'll be able to get a new job, even though it may be waiting tabls, retail (which I'm decent at, actually), or anything that's not a call center job.
I feel relieved, honestly. I'm getting away from my shithole job, and I'm going with the flow. I don't know what to expect in Texas, but I'm actually looking forward to having that feeling of adventure. I've been tied down to mundane tasks for far too long, it seems.
Also, I've been reading alot of books, and they've helped as well.
Its really good to see someone taking a positive approach and DOING something about a series of unfortunately timed events. Keep your chin up and i hope it all goes great for you.
Congratulations though on the fresh start. Best of luck.
And if you're not on the lease, then you can claim its not your responsibility to pay the rent and just not pay anything. She would have to take you to a civil court to get any money back, and the odds of a judge ruling in her favor would be pretty low.