The second most dissapointing night ever was the girl I had sex with, unprotected (but the reason why is weird and unusual). It's all fun and games till she says "cum inside me", to which the sober part of my mind goes "it's a one-night-stand and it's bad enough that it's unprotected... just run dammit". After an hour and a half of drunken sex I didn't even get a "happy ending", she looked happy, but I was fucking miserable.
All this was after fifteen minutes of horrendously drunk limpness.
We all share too much.
I beg to differ; I believe that we don't share enough.
But seriously, I love reading about everyone's dirty laudry around here. It's usually entertaining, and almost always somehow strangely uplifting.
The second most dissapointing night ever was the girl I had sex with, unprotected (but the reason why is weird and unusual). It's all fun and games till she says "cum inside me", to which the sober part of my mind goes "it's a one-night-stand and it's bad enough that it's unprotected... just run dammit". After an hour and a half of drunken sex I didn't even get a "happy ending", she looked happy, but I was fucking miserable.
All this was after fifteen minutes of horrendously drunk limpness.
Basically, a girl tried to "get me off", as in assisted masturbation, by wiggling my ding-dong side-to-side, like a fucking joystick. It was like she was trying to play pac-man or pong or something.
:x
No, it was like she was trying to play Space Invaders. If she moved it in four directions, it would've been Pac-Man. ;-) And if she twisted the head like a knob, THEN it's like Pong.
Her mind-set must have been "it's a straight object with a base, if I press the balls and waggle the shaft around, maybe it'll pick me up a teddy-bear or something."
I stopped her pretty quickly, most dissapointing night ever.
The trick is to keep the claw at a low strength so it can't grip the toys well. THAT'S how you rake in the dough.
But then when people lose, they bang on the joystick out of frustration. That's sure to lower the lifespan of your hardware.
That...unfortunately...sums up one of my more recent sexual encounters. She literally punched my dick because I had erectile dysfunction.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
...I think that much alcohol would kill me.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
That...unfortunately...sums up one of my more recent sexual encounters. She literally punched my dick because I had erectile dysfunction.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
...I think that much alcohol would kill me.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
That was a Tuesday.
I went to work the next day, straight from being out drinking. I bought a new outfit, showered at the gym, and went to work.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
...I think that much alcohol would kill me.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
Did't you go to University? It's like an average night out. It hurts like hell the next day but the only time to start getting worried is when it stops hurting the next day, because that's the road to becoming an alcoholic.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
...I think that much alcohol would kill me.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
Did't you go to University? It's like an average night out. It hurts like hell the next day but the only time to start getting worried is when it stops hurting the next day, because that's the road to becoming an alcoholic.
I didn't really start drinking until I was 22 or something due to certain circumstances.
Also, the college drinking scene really turns me off.
I find that I drink more with family than with my peers. That's a bit unnerving.
I'm also trying to figure out a reason why werehippy cannot grasp the concept of corporations having a duty to their communities, instead of seeing them as another resource to exploit.
Also, the college drinking scene really turns me off.
I've heard so many people say that. It's true for myself as well. I don't like being intoxicated, and I'm very uncomfortable around those that are. I may sound like a snob for this, but most of my alcohol intake is in the form of 1 glass of wine when I'm with close friends (playing poker). I've gone out to a pub and had beer twice, and both times only 1 pint.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
...I think that much alcohol would kill me.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
Did't you go to University? It's like an average night out. It hurts like hell the next day but the only time to start getting worried is when it stops hurting the next day, because that's the road to becoming an alcoholic.
I didn't really start drinking until I was 22 or something due to certain circumstances.
Also, the college drinking scene really turns me off.
Aaah the comfort of growing up in a society where peer-pressure gets you drinking around the age of 15.
There's a good chance I'll throw a brick at Wonder_Hippie's head.
My brother has ADD and I've done a fair deal of research into it, so I always get pissed when someone at school says something like "I'm such a spaz in my classes, I must have ADD or something"
P10 on
Shameful pursuits and utterly stupid opinions
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
edited September 2007
All my skeletons are zombies. Arg.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Basically, a girl tried to "get me off", as in assisted masturbation, by wiggling my ding-dong side-to-side, like a fucking joystick. It was like she was trying to play pac-man or pong or something.
:x
No, it was like she was trying to play Space Invaders. If she moved it in four directions, it would've been Pac-Man. ;-) And if she twisted the head like a knob, THEN it's like Pong.
Her mind-set must have been "it's a straight object with a base, if I press the balls and waggle the shaft around, maybe it'll pick me up a teddy-bear or something."
I stopped her pretty quickly, most dissapointing night ever.
The trick is to keep the claw at a low strength so it can't grip the toys well. THAT'S how you rake in the dough.
But then when people lose, they bang on the joystick out of frustration. That's sure to lower the lifespan of your hardware.
This is true. Luckily, joysticks are cheap.
Seriously, though, that's how a good chunk of crane games work well. They rely on a...Potentiometer, I believe it is, which can adjust it from a few ounces to a pound or two before the claws give and open. You set it nice and low, stock the thing with big heavy toys the claw can't get around well, and bam.
I absolutely love this quote tree. Going from sex to the life expectency of claw machine games in a logical sequence of seven posts. Wonderful.
My friend was interning at an independent film studio in Chicago, and invited me to come along with him to their new year's party. So, I go along. It was in his boss's apartment or something. Maybe around 10-15 people are there, depending on the time. I ended up drinking way too much and passed out in the guy's bathroom for an hour or something. (this was one of those learn-how-to-gauge-how-drunk-you-are experiences)
Basically, a girl tried to "get me off", as in assisted masturbation, by wiggling my ding-dong side-to-side, like a fucking joystick. It was like she was trying to play pac-man or pong or something.
:x
No, it was like she was trying to play Space Invaders. If she moved it in four directions, it would've been Pac-Man. ;-) And if she twisted the head like a knob, THEN it's like Pong.
Her mind-set must have been "it's a straight object with a base, if I press the balls and waggle the shaft around, maybe it'll pick me up a teddy-bear or something."
I stopped her pretty quickly, most dissapointing night ever.
The trick is to keep the claw at a low strength so it can't grip the toys well. THAT'S how you rake in the dough.
But then when people lose, they bang on the joystick out of frustration. That's sure to lower the lifespan of your hardware.
This is true. Luckily, joysticks are cheap.
Seriously, though, that's how a good chunk of crane games work well. They rely on a...Potentiometer, I believe it is, which can adjust it from a few ounces to a pound or two before the claws give and open. You set it nice and low, stock the thing with big heavy toys the claw can't get around well, and bam.
I absolutely love this quote tree. Going from sex to the life expectency of claw machine games in a logical sequence of seven posts. Wonderful.
And claw machine theory, as well. Some games actually have the potentiometer shift strength randomly, though this is illegal in most states as it is classified as gambling.
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
edited September 2007
Hey I got my qeeg and adhd specialist centre report back. Says I score highly on anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive?!?! WTF ocd. Of course I show symptoms of that, if I don't check everything twice I'm liable to lockmyself out of the bloody house.
Oh and I'm definitely adhd/add. Yay.
There's a lot of suggestions for improvement to manage it that I haven't thought of at the end of the report, which is encouraging.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Basically, a girl tried to "get me off", as in assisted masturbation, by wiggling my ding-dong side-to-side, like a fucking joystick. It was like she was trying to play pac-man or pong or something.
:x
No, it was like she was trying to play Space Invaders. If she moved it in four directions, it would've been Pac-Man. ;-) And if she twisted the head like a knob, THEN it's like Pong.
Her mind-set must have been "it's a straight object with a base, if I press the balls and waggle the shaft around, maybe it'll pick me up a teddy-bear or something."
I stopped her pretty quickly, most dissapointing night ever.
The trick is to keep the claw at a low strength so it can't grip the toys well. THAT'S how you rake in the dough.
But then when people lose, they bang on the joystick out of frustration. That's sure to lower the lifespan of your hardware.
This is true. Luckily, joysticks are cheap.
Seriously, though, that's how a good chunk of crane games work well. They rely on a...Potentiometer, I believe it is, which can adjust it from a few ounces to a pound or two before the claws give and open. You set it nice and low, stock the thing with big heavy toys the claw can't get around well, and bam.
I absolutely love this quote tree. Going from sex to the life expectency of claw machine games in a logical sequence of seven posts. Wonderful.
I tried to keep at least some innuendo in there...
Basically, a girl tried to "get me off", as in assisted masturbation, by wiggling my ding-dong side-to-side, like a fucking joystick. It was like she was trying to play pac-man or pong or something.
:x
No, it was like she was trying to play Space Invaders. If she moved it in four directions, it would've been Pac-Man. ;-) And if she twisted the head like a knob, THEN it's like Pong.
Her mind-set must have been "it's a straight object with a base, if I press the balls and waggle the shaft around, maybe it'll pick me up a teddy-bear or something."
I stopped her pretty quickly, most dissapointing night ever.
The trick is to keep the claw at a low strength so it can't grip the toys well. THAT'S how you rake in the dough.
But then when people lose, they bang on the joystick out of frustration. That's sure to lower the lifespan of your hardware.
This is true. Luckily, joysticks are cheap.
Seriously, though, that's how a good chunk of crane games work well. They rely on a...Potentiometer, I believe it is, which can adjust it from a few ounces to a pound or two before the claws give and open. You set it nice and low, stock the thing with big heavy toys the claw can't get around well, and bam.
I absolutely love this quote tree. Going from sex to the life expectency of claw machine games in a logical sequence of seven posts. Wonderful.
I tried to keep at least some innuendo in there...
I'm actually dissapointed. It's supposed to be the other way around. Claw machines => Sex. You guys fail.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Two of the books, I read in June, and I don't remember shit from them. They were both very good, but I don't remember them at all.
And the other, The Awakening, is so bad that I just can't fucking read it. It's 90 pages, so I'll probably just hammer it out tomorrow afternoon, but Jesus Christ.
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But seriously, I love reading about everyone's dirty laudry around here. It's usually entertaining, and almost always somehow strangely uplifting.
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That...unfortunately...sums up one of my more recent sexual encounters. She literally punched my dick because I had erectile dysfunction.
I'm sorry, but after 15 margaritas and another dozen or so Vodka sodas, you'd be better off trying to play pac-man with my groin tomorrow because neither of us is going to win.
Edit: I'm totally not joking. Though, honestly, I'd probably pass out well before I could ingest that much.
That was a Tuesday.
I went to work the next day, straight from being out drinking. I bought a new outfit, showered at the gym, and went to work.
Yay.
Did't you go to University? It's like an average night out. It hurts like hell the next day but the only time to start getting worried is when it stops hurting the next day, because that's the road to becoming an alcoholic.
I didn't really start drinking until I was 22 or something due to certain circumstances.
Also, the college drinking scene really turns me off.
I'm also trying to figure out a reason why werehippy cannot grasp the concept of corporations having a duty to their communities, instead of seeing them as another resource to exploit.
I've heard so many people say that. It's true for myself as well. I don't like being intoxicated, and I'm very uncomfortable around those that are. I may sound like a snob for this, but most of my alcohol intake is in the form of 1 glass of wine when I'm with close friends (playing poker). I've gone out to a pub and had beer twice, and both times only 1 pint.
Aaah the comfort of growing up in a society where peer-pressure gets you drinking around the age of 15.
Edit: i'd rather it your way, seriously.
My friend was interning at an independent film studio in Chicago, and invited me to come along with him to their new year's party. So, I go along. It was in his boss's apartment or something. Maybe around 10-15 people are there, depending on the time. I ended up drinking way too much and passed out in the guy's bathroom for an hour or something. (this was one of those learn-how-to-gauge-how-drunk-you-are experiences)
And claw machine theory, as well. Some games actually have the potentiometer shift strength randomly, though this is illegal in most states as it is classified as gambling.
Oh and I'm definitely adhd/add. Yay.
There's a lot of suggestions for improvement to manage it that I haven't thought of at the end of the report, which is encouraging.
I'm actually dissapointed. It's supposed to be the other way around. Claw machines => Sex. You guys fail.
Well, there was this one time...
"A claw machine" is how I would describe this one stripper I "dated"...
I'll be sure to take advantage of that ;-)
Two of the books, I read in June, and I don't remember shit from them. They were both very good, but I don't remember them at all.
And the other, The Awakening, is so bad that I just can't fucking read it. It's 90 pages, so I'll probably just hammer it out tomorrow afternoon, but Jesus Christ.
Now that's gambling.
Getting a clumsy handjob in the alley isn't "dating"
Pool, at a bar, is an excellent way to socialize and do shots with people (read: girls) you don't know.
Fuck you. It so is.
I was all, "Man, The Cat's staying out late!" but you aren't The Cat.
You didn't know that The Cat is a TG? One of the first on the forum that's become male as a female.
he needs a diffrent fucking avatar.
he?
also: fuck you not suburbia.