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Goldeneye "contest"...I need retraining!
The Valentine Zombie
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Having discussed my Goldeneye skills in another thread, I got to talking about the good old days with my mate...and a contest has been arranged for next week. Trouble is, I know exactly how it will go down; he will pick a Moonraker Elite under the impression that it's the best character to go (is it really?), and we will play in the temple, with automatics. And he will camp next to the bulletproof vest. For 5 hours solid. So he will win. Like the good old days.
I've tried in the past to get him to "upgrade" to playing the temple level in Perfect Dark, as it's better, but he doesn't like it as somehow "it gives me an unfair advantage". In other words, there's a chance I might win because...well, I don't know. He's very stubborn. (I once played him at Tekken 5 in a contest to see who'd get up to make the tea...he eventually gave up after losing 45 times. If I had lost any one of those games, he would have claimed it was my turn to make tea.)
I can occasionally get him to play the Facility, but not often.
Sooooooo...any tips? Besides giving him the joy-pad with the dodgy analogue stick.
I've tried in the past to get him to "upgrade" to playing the temple level in Perfect Dark, as it's better, but he doesn't like it as somehow "it gives me an unfair advantage". In other words, there's a chance I might win because...well, I don't know. He's very stubborn. (I once played him at Tekken 5 in a contest to see who'd get up to make the tea...he eventually gave up after losing 45 times. If I had lost any one of those games, he would have claimed it was my turn to make tea.)
I can occasionally get him to play the Facility, but not often.
Sooooooo...any tips? Besides giving him the joy-pad with the dodgy analogue stick.
The Valentine Zombie on
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[Forgot to mention, it's my N64 and games, so I've got a week's worth of practise to get in; I will have no excuse for losing lol.]
People like that suck to play with because it takes the fun out of it. But I guess if you're like I was then, who the hell else are you going to play games with? Too bad.
My advice is this: Why do you have to put up with that shit? If he wants to play the temple, then let him play the temple and camp next to his bulletproof vest, but then play somewhere else. (and if you know where the vest is, you could ideally try to get there before him and then take him at his own game). And if there is more than one vest in the temple, why not grab the other before you go after him? (I can't remember if there are actually more than one, so take that for what it's worth).
Or if he insists on playing the temple and camping near the vest, why not change the weaponry to knives or slappers only?
Or if you really want to fuck with him, choose "the complex" and allow for proximity or remote mines. Wherever he starts to camp out, just take note of the area, find the place directly below him, and pitch a mine at the ceiling. I find that pisses people off A LOT, so he should really enjoy it. "The Archives" would probably be a good level for that trick too.
But at the end of the day, a sore loser is a sore loser. Not much you can do about the attitude other than tell him to quit his bitching.
I'll try playing other levels and weapons with him, but it will eventually all come back to Temple, automatics, and camping. So, choosing the right character, the right tactics, and the right weapon will be crucial. Like I said, even shit-talking might give me an advantage, but I'm terrible at it
toss a prox down on top of the body armor and leave the room.
or strafe by and lob a remote at him and set it off just before it lands and frag the biotch.
i agree with you about the PD temple level, it's much better and more fun to play on (especially with a good amount of bots in the mix)
take a print of the photo to a t-shirt maker and have them make a shirt for you
on the back put something like "Golden Oldies" in a nice pinstripe font
but anyway, just make him play the "Complex" level...that's always a fun one... set prox mines just around every corner and sit in the cove that has the one-sided viewing vent... then watch and wait for the glory.
ahhh... memories...
(My favourite, BTW is the Complex.)
If he's on the second floor, throw a mine on the ceiling directly below him.
Throw mines down underneath body armor and weapons crates (but don't forget where you put them).
Throw mines down at one end of a corridor and then just camp at the other.
If he's going to camp like a sissy, then you could always just camp out as well. When he realizes that the game is boring and sucks because nothing is happening because you're both camping, you can agree to come out and fight if he'll do the same.
If he absolutely insists on camping and does so with persistent regularity and refuses to play normally instead of like a dousche, I just wouldn't play with him anymore. But that's just me.
Oh, also don't forget that "the complex" has those secret areas hidden behind those faux walls. Though I suppose that wouldn't be useful to you, since he'll just be sitting on his ass in a corner anyway. *shrug*
My guess is that if he's camping by the body armour odds are that He'll use those mines to fortify his camping position as well. Although then again, it's been a very long time since I played Goldeneye.
well if he tries that all you have to do is lob another mine in that area then they will both blow.
Well that's what I meant, yeah. I mean, if you were playing a game with a large group over a network or something, I wouldn't frown on camping so much in that situation. I love to snipe people, and that generally involves picking a good spot and camping.
I would say camping is only okay in team situations when you still have other team members who are putting up a standard, face-to-face offense. And it's especially okay if the person doing it doesn't camp ALL THE TIME. Camping continually and persistently is annoying though.
But I suppose that opens up the camping debate. People feel differently about it. But I'm sure almost everyone would agree that camping out and waiting for ONE GUY is a pussy strategy.
Tell him that you think he's a camping bastard when he does it the first time. If he says he's not, and throws a fit then get him to agree that each game, you guys take turns choosing the location/game options. Agree that each of you has to choose something other then what they wanted last time it was their turn. This means you'll get at least three games in a row before he can go back to his favorite.
If he becomes a baby about it, tell him to his face that the only reason he wins is because he's a one-trick camping ass hat and can't actually play the game unless he has an advantage. Then play his way and strafe back and forth so he can see you, try not get killed but don't react when he kills you, just go back to the same spot. Don't try to kill him, just go for the tease. Don't fire a single shot until he leave the armour.
"Campy McCamp Pants, can't win a single fucking game without camping." "You love camping so much, why not set up a little tent beside your body armour. Then you can wake up in the middle of the night, and be all like,' OH SHIT! I'm out of body armour!' but wheeeh, there's some right here, because I'm camping, because I love camping so much." "My sister's got a girl scout uniform you could put on, she always used to wear it when she went camping." "Hang on, do you have your camping piss jar, just in case you need to take a piss and you don't want to leave the same fucking spot?" "Oh, I see, now your running towards me, excellent, let's play this shit bitch!... what's that, your armours low. OMG, quick, get back to your camp site! The bears are after you!" "Run camping bitch, run!" "Oh, now you're back to camping again, did you find your fat ass groove in the floor that you love so much, Robbie Coltrane is fat, but he hasn't made half the dent in the floor that the Moonraping camping bitch has. It's like a fucking cavern, people get lost in the dent your fat ass has made beside the armour" "OMG the armour has spawned again, are you cool? Check again, looks like you might be missing a tiny bar, what are you going to do? If you pick it up, and then piss yourself because you're not camping, what is the Moon-ass-raper going to wear? You'll be camping in piss covered pants. But don't worry, you'll still be camping, the armour will be back. That's why you love camping so much, it's like having your mom there to wipe your ass." "Uh oh you picked it up, are you scared? Are you a little girl with a fat ass that's out camping, worried Robbie Coltrane is coming to fuck her in the ass so she's just going to hide at her camp site?"
Man, smack talk is part of the game. Take him down.
I found this page, which has a rough map of the Temple, although I am struggling to verify if its accurate, since my copy of Goldeneye and my N64 are like 18,000km away from me right now:(
Easiest thing to do is to do as said above, beat his camping ass to the armour everytime - you have got a week to practice the map, and get familiar with it again. You should be able to work that into an advantage which lets you get the jump on him most times. I guess the problem is that you can't starve him out because all the automatic ammo is the same - so he can easily resupply from you and the two nearby boxes.
All I can think of, aside from the above, is to do the following:
Peep snipe him - so get to the closest corner, stand behind it, pop out with the peep option (yellow + L? i forget) and aim high as head shots kill faster (obvious i know, but just in case!) - mix in with the occassional strafe to confuse him - try and wear him down for a bit, hopefully while not losing much yourself. Then once he has replenished with the armour, do it again, then once you hit him, charge him while strafing - this way, while he will still out health you, he can't rearmour until after one of you are dead. If you are a better shot / strafer than him this should work (sometimes).
Of course if you can, do as everyone else suggests and get him to change weapons to something more useful for you, like sniper or proxy.
An actual Goldeneye contest will take place this week, and if he is beaten, I will be offering him the use of my N64 for a week; I won't have any "haven't played in a while" excuses. So everyone's advice will come in handy then.
BTW My PD tactics included slapping him into a daze and letting him wander around, shooting at blurred after-images of me; looking at walls close-up so that he couldn't look at my screen to see where I was; and wandering around with no weapons so that he couldn't get an auto-lock on, waiting on him re-loading before arming myself and going in for the kill. *sighs* It all started flooding back...The slapping tactic isn't of much use in Goldeneye though...I'll need to draw on everyone's advice on Thursday night.
(I also threw in a lot of Predator quotes to make an impressive display of shit-talking
And I agree, the maps are better in PD.
the gun itself is magnificent too.
/sigh nostalgia