John Dies at the End (Coming soon to theaters!)

Big Dookie

"...Like getting run over by a truck made of horror, hauling two tons of stupid."

John Dies at the End, or JDatE for short, has probably been discussed to death on these forums. For those who are new to the internet, JDatE is an online novel by David Wong (not his real name), the creator and webmaster of Pointless Waste of Time. It started off as a short story that Wong wrote for Halloween a few years back, and the response was so overwhelming that he started adding to it and updating it in segments every Halloween. Eventually, it got so big that he decided to make it into a single cohesive story and make the whole thing available online for all to read. According to his records, over 50,000 people have finished the entire story, which is pretty good for such a huge online story.

The story is a horror/comedy hybrid of sorts, and succeeds where many others fail - it does both very, very well. The entire thing is both hilarious and terrifying at the same time, which is a unique sensation while reading it. The story revolves around the supernatural events in a stereotypical midwestern town, and the two slackers who unwittingly throw themselves into the middle of it all. Honestly, I won't even try to describe the plot any more than that, because it wouldn't do the book justice. Needless to say, if you have doubts, go and read the prologue and begin your journey into the insane world of JDatE. Be careful though, it's very, very long - literally a full length novel. Once you start, you won't want to stop, so don't start it until you have several hours to kill.

So why am I bringing this topic up now? Simple - John Dies at the End is now in print! You can now hold a physical, officially-published version of JDatE in your grubby little hands. The published version of the book is also slightly different from the online version, with some new plot details, corrections, and revised story. So if you've already read the book online, you can still have a fresh experience with the published novel. However, the original version of the novel will remain available online for all to enjoy as well, so there's really no excuse for you not to go read it right now!

For those who have read the book already, consider this an official discussion thread. How'd you like the book? What was your favorite part? Is John Cheese really my baby's daddy?

UPDATE (2-23-08)

The film rights for JDatE have been aquired by Don Coscarelli, writer and directer of Bubba Ho-Tep. So apparently this thing is going to become a movie sometime in the possibly near future. Pretty cool stuff.

Picardathon

jdate.com
?

sdrawkcaB emaN

Hmmmm...sounds very interesting.

Could I pick it up at physical bookstore, potentially? I have cash monies, but no plastic. Also, I dislike waiting for shipping if I can avoid it.

B:L

Amazon.com review:

squashua wrote:

This book by up and coming horror/comedy writer David Wong is one of the scariest novels I've read in a very long time. It's not the sort of scary where you're actually scared while reading. Mostly you will be amused, entertained, and probably a bit surprised at parts. The real terror comes once you try to sleep the next night, and the night after, and the night after that and so forth. I haven't slept a full night in the years since I first read John Dies At The End and this is the reason the state took away my driver's license.

I loved the online story, so consider this book bought. I just hope they didn't pull a Lucas with their changes.

jothki

B:L wrote: »

Amazon.com review:

squashua wrote:

This book by up and coming horror/comedy writer David Wong is one of the scariest novels I've read in a very long time. It's not the sort of scary where you're actually scared while reading. Mostly you will be amused, entertained, and probably a bit surprised at parts. The real terror comes once you try to sleep the next night, and the night after, and the night after that and so forth. I haven't slept a full night in the years since I first read John Dies At The End and this is the reason the state took away my driver's license.

I loved the online story, so consider this book bought. I just hope they didn't pull a Lucas with their changes.

One big thing is that he apparently

removed the battle with Korrok in the second part. What the hell. I can see why he would want to make the third part more dramatic, but it sort of seems to ruin the plot point that I got from the story that each dimension has its own Korrok.

IShallRiseAgain

There is a sequel out too. I still haven't bothered to read it though.

Neaden

jothki wrote: »

B:L wrote: »

Amazon.com review:

squashua wrote:

This book by up and coming horror/comedy writer David Wong is one of the scariest novels I've read in a very long time. It's not the sort of scary where you're actually scared while reading. Mostly you will be amused, entertained, and probably a bit surprised at parts. The real terror comes once you try to sleep the next night, and the night after, and the night after that and so forth. I haven't slept a full night in the years since I first read John Dies At The End and this is the reason the state took away my driver's license.

I loved the online story, so consider this book bought. I just hope they didn't pull a Lucas with their changes.

One big thing is that he apparently

removed the battle with Korrok in the second part. What the hell. I can see why he would want to make the third part more dramatic, but it sort of seems to ruin the plot point that I got from the story that each dimension has its own Korrok.

Yeah but the nature of Korrok really changed between those two parts. In part two he's pretty much a demon who destroys people consiences and makes dogs float and talk, in the third part he's an agent of conformity and the destruction of individuality.

Big Dookie

IShallRiseAgain wrote: »

There is a sequel out too. I still haven't bothered to read it though.

In many ways, I think the sequel is superior to the original. The horror/humor ratio is a bit higher, but it's still hilarious. And he does a genuinely good job at expanding the story in a really great way. There's a "twist" near the end of it that's subtle, but mind-blowing when you realize its implications on both the first and second books.

Also, it has a monster made up solely of impaled turkeys. How could anyone resist?

jothki

Neaden wrote: »

jothki wrote: »

B:L wrote: »

Amazon.com review:

squashua wrote:

This book by up and coming horror/comedy writer David Wong is one of the scariest novels I've read in a very long time. It's not the sort of scary where you're actually scared while reading. Mostly you will be amused, entertained, and probably a bit surprised at parts. The real terror comes once you try to sleep the next night, and the night after, and the night after that and so forth. I haven't slept a full night in the years since I first read John Dies At The End and this is the reason the state took away my driver's license.

I loved the online story, so consider this book bought. I just hope they didn't pull a Lucas with their changes.

One big thing is that he apparently

removed the battle with Korrok in the second part. What the hell. I can see why he would want to make the third part more dramatic, but it sort of seems to ruin the plot point that I got from the story that each dimension has its own Korrok.

Yeah but the nature of Korrok really changed between those two parts. In part two he's pretty much a demon who destroys people consiences and makes dogs float and talk, in the third part he's an agent of conformity and the destruction of individuality.

He's an agent of conformity and destruction of individuality in both cases. He just manifests in different ways depending on where he's from. He's a demon in whatever his dimension of origin was for the second part, and an organic supercomputer in the third. He was also mentioned in the first part, and was probably something completely different then as well.

The author may have a completely different interpretation of the story than what I reached, but if he's retconning the story to bring it closer to his own view, then he is indeed pulling a Lucas.

Neaden

Big Dookie wrote: »

IShallRiseAgain wrote: »

There is a sequel out too. I still haven't bothered to read it though.

In many ways, I think the sequel is superior to the original. The horror/humor ratio is a bit higher, but it's still hilarious. And he does a genuinely good job at expanding the story in a really great way. There's a "twist" near the end of it that's subtle, but mind-blowing when you realize its implications on both the first and second books.

Also, it has a monster made up solely of impaled turkeys. How could anyone resist?

You referring to

The hand and the shadowman?

Drez

Picardathon wrote: »

jdate.com
?

Tangent, but I'm pretty sure that's a Jewish dating service site.

Big Dookie

Neaden wrote: »

Big Dookie wrote: »

IShallRiseAgain wrote: »

There is a sequel out too. I still haven't bothered to read it though.

In many ways, I think the sequel is superior to the original. The horror/humor ratio is a bit higher, but it's still hilarious. And he does a genuinely good job at expanding the story in a really great way. There's a "twist" near the end of it that's subtle, but mind-blowing when you realize its implications on both the first and second books.

Also, it has a monster made up solely of impaled turkeys. How could anyone resist?

You referring to

The hand and the shadowman?

Yup. Because when you take that into consideration with the events of the first story, it really makes you question whether everything that happened in the first book was actually John and Dave working against them, or if they were just using her to manipulate events.

TehSpectre

Best online novel ever.

I am going to buy a few of these as gifts.

Dookie, I you.

durandal4532

I... kind of thought it was a really really poorly written attempt at a joke.

That just never stopped.

Sentry

hmm... I don't know what it is about JDATE... for some reason I found it impossible to stop reading... but for some other reason I don't know if I would really call it good. There were some parts that just took me completely out of the story.

The part in the mall that just turns into Resident Evil for no damn reason... if it was a joke it was a poor one that seriously detracted

But then, there were other parts that were just.... really good.

hambone

I remember the first and middle parts were cool, but the last bits were a mess. The whole bit about fighting aliens under the mall with health power ups was pretty retarded.

Tube

edit: note to self, we are not talking about system shock 2 in this thread

Einhander

Cardboard Tube wrote: »

edit: note to self, we are not talking about system shock 2 in this thread

I was about to ridicule you mercilessly, but it looks like I don't have to now.

I read it in two sittings. I literally could not stop reading it. I blew off a bunch of friends going to a bar one night and potentially a casual sex episode the next just so I could finish reading it.

My problem was I couldn't read it for extremely long periods of time because my monitor would give me a headache. Obviously I'm stoked about the print version.

Tube

Einhander wrote: »

Cardboard Tube wrote: »

edit: note to self, we are not talking about system shock 2 in this thread

I was about to ridicule you mercilessly, but it looks like I don't have to now.

You're not the boss of me.

JAEF

Cardboard Tube wrote: »

Einhander wrote: »

Cardboard Tube wrote: »

edit: note to self, we are not talking about system shock 2 in this thread

I was about to ridicule you mercilessly, but it looks like I don't have to now.

You're not the boss of me.

I guess the jdate.com setup of the two of you didn't really work out that well? It throws off the system when you're not actually Jewish, Tube.

Note to self: Read this. I've sort of run into a book brick wall and I'm trying to find something to dig into. Since this is free what the hell.

TehSpectre

If you like comedy+horror it is a good read.

Also, a pretty decent twist.

Big Dookie

Sentry wrote: »

hmm... I don't know what it is about JDATE... for some reason I found it impossible to stop reading... but for some other reason I don't know if I would really call it good. There were some parts that just took me completely out of the story.

The part in the mall that just turns into Resident Evil for no damn reason... if it was a joke it was a poor one that seriously detracted

But then, there were other parts that were just.... really good.

Yeah, some parts of the story definitely seemed disconnected and not very good. Part of this is the way it was written though. Each "section" of the book was written seperately from each other, with no intention of ever combining them together. When he did combine them into a full story, he had to write a completely new section (Arnie) that tied the stories together. It works for the most part, but there are things that don't really fit in well.

This is a big reason I think for why he made so many changes in the print version. He wanted it to be more cohesive and cut out some of the stuff he didn't think really fit in. I'm fine with it, since it could make for a better read - plus, you can still read the original version online, so no worries. Like I said earlier though, the sequel is much better in this regard, because he wrote it as one continuous story. The difference really shows in the quality of the sequel.

Edit - Although, that part you spoilered has one of my favorite lines in the whole book:

There was something poking out of the guts of the Lobsterhead Deer. John and I told her it was her turn to fish it out, and she did, careful to not get any deer on her hands. A small, heavy box about six inches to a side.

It was full of shotgun shells. "You picked up a box of shotgun shells, " I said.

I busted out laughing at that point, because up until then I didn't really see where it was going. Then when I saw that line, I realized the entire section was a spoof of FPS games. I'm glad he left it out of the print version, because a more mainstream audience might not get the joke, but it's still pretty funny.

Blackjack

I'm reading this now and find myself unable to stop. Only on page 17/chapter 7 right now, and I've found it more funny than creepy/scary. So far the only part that creeped me out was when

Dave got the call from John who was all freaked out and asked Dave to head over to his apartment and he was all "Is this the first time I called?" and then, on the way there, Dave got another call from John all "No, I didn't call don't come over something's in here" I dunno why, but that part reminded me a bit of The Dionaea House, which creeped me the fuck out

I'm really enjoying it so far, though.

sdrawkcaB emaN

So, no one's told me if I can pick it up at a physical bookstore or not. If I can, I might just go get it tomorrow.

Big Dookie

suilimeA wrote: »

So, no one's told me if I can pick it up at a physical bookstore or not. If I can, I might just go get it tomorrow.

I doubt most bookstores will stock it unless someone who works there knows about it and orders it for the store. So most likely, no. However, you can ask the store to order it for you, and you can request that they stock it.

Big Dookie

Sorry to bump my own thread, but this might be important for people reading it online. Apparently the author decided to revamp the online version to match the print version, and he's updated it in sections. So large chunks of it, as well as the sequel, will be offline for a few weeks probably. Just thought you guys reading through it might want to know.

On another note, the publisher posted apparently posted a Book Trailer on YouTube.

jothki

Big Dookie wrote: »

Sorry to bump my own thread, but this might be important for people reading it online. Apparently the author decided to revamp the online version to match the print version, and he's updated it in sections. So large chunks of it, as well as the sequel, will be offline for a few weeks probably. Just thought you guys reading through it might want to know.

On another note, the publisher posted apparently posted a Book Trailer on YouTube.

Oh god now he's going to claim that he lost the original version, and the only thing he has left of it are images of photocopied printouts.

Don Pedro

I think the third installment is supposed to come out this Halloween, no?

Look Out it's Sabs!

I was wondering why I couldn't access the sequel and then realized it was the same with some of the chapters of the first one, good thing I finished it before it started though. Will still try and see if I can buy the book though.

gtrmp

jothki wrote: »

Big Dookie wrote: »

Sorry to bump my own thread, but this might be important for people reading it online. Apparently the author decided to revamp the online version to match the print version, and he's updated it in sections. So large chunks of it, as well as the sequel, will be offline for a few weeks probably. Just thought you guys reading through it might want to know.

Oh god now he's going to claim that he lost the original version, and the only thing he has left of it are images of photocopied printouts.

Now I have this odd mental image of George Lucas as a Something Awful forum goon.

Nova_C

Man, I read JDatE a while ago and was completely shocked at it's quality. It manages to blend an expertly written suspense with the largest concentration of dick jokes in any medium. Also, the reviews are awesome.

"I clicked and didn't move for hours. The next day I woke up retarded."

I loved the part that made fun of FPS gaming. Finding ammo in the bodies of enemies, having to kill waves and waves of monsters before the boss comes out. Good times.

Sentry

Nova_C wrote: »

Man, I read JDatE a while ago and was completely shocked at it's quality. It manages to blend an expertly written suspense with the largest concentration of dick jokes in any medium. Also, the reviews are awesome.

"I clicked and didn't move for hours. The next day I woke up retarded."

I loved the part that made fun of FPS gaming. Finding ammo in the bodies of enemies, having to kill waves and waves of monsters before the boss comes out. Good times.

As I said before, that part (for me anyway), just didn't mesh at all with the rest of the story. It was like, meta-comedy that just didn't fit within the context. If he had meshed it better, or somehow found a way to integrate it into the overall story, I probably would have loved it. But the way it was written, it was just jarring and disjointed.

In other words, I loved the idea of it, but the application left something to be desired.

Malkor

Is there like, a mirror to the parts he's editing? I just started it.

Sam

So David Wong isn't that dude's real name? What is?

Big Dookie

Malkor wrote: »

Is there like, a mirror to the parts he's editing? I just started it.

Here's an archived version of the site before he relaunched. The main link doesn't work, but you can go to the story directly through the index at the bottom of the page. That link works for now, but I don't know for how long. So read as much as you can.

Look Out it's Sabs!

So in stores, is the book going to say the author is David Wong, or is he going to use his real name?

Edit: Found it on amazon, has David Wong as the writer. I don't think I would be able to buy it in stores since indigo.ca doesn't have it on it's website and almost most bookstores around here are associated with indigo.

Malkor

Big Dookie wrote: »

Malkor wrote: »

Is there like, a mirror to the parts he's editing? I just started it.

Here's an archived version of the site before he relaunched. The main link doesn't work, but you can go to the story directly through the index at the bottom of the page. That link works for now, but I don't know for how long. So read as much as you can.

I threw money at the problem and a book should be arriving eventually. Thanks though, this should help time go by.

Falx

man it figures he'd start doing that JUST when I start the sequel.

Glyph

Sam wrote: »

So David Wong isn't that dude's real name? What is?

No one knows. But the forums he runs is among the most elitist in existence.

JAEF

Motherfucker I was 3/4 through when this revamp crap took it all down. Gaahhh.

Nexus Zero

Randomly picked out page 24 and started reading. And now I don't think I can stop...