But I don't wanna!!

Kerbob97

So my birthday is this weekend, and frankly, I could give a shit. The only reason I know is that my wife asked me who I wanted to have over for a party. I don't really want party for me, and don't want to go through all the crap. Just generally not in the mood, and never really have been a big "Yea! Birthday Party!" type. The way I see it, the only birthdays to look forward to were 16, 18, and 21. After that, meh.

Should I stop playing the role of Oscar the grouch and just let my wife have a party for me, or can I just blow it off like I want?

and if I do do the party thing, any suggestions?

Pheezer

Dude just get some people over, do some bbq, have some beers. It'll be fun. What is your problem? If you play your cards right you'll not only get to weasel out of cleaning up after it but you'll probably be able to eat left over cake for breakfast the next day.

I cannot imagine a problem with the idea. Unless you're insecure about your age in which hahahahaha I hope letting insecurities ruin good times works out real nice for you.

Kerbob97

Honestly, I just don't enjoy being the center of attention. At other parties, I hang out in the kitchen and happily stay in the background cooking. When a party is for me, it becomes go sit down in the living room and relax, and let everyone stare at you.

Meh.

Pheezer

That's really not how it has to be. Just hang out in the kitchen. Remember to go say hi whenever the door opens, introduce the guests to some other guests they might know/like, and go back to doing your thing. People will circulate naturally and everyone will have a better time than if you had insisted on sitting in the living room and doing nothing.

Doc

What, are they going to sing for you and stuff? Just have some people over for a BBQ and some drinks. Just ask her to skip the cake or whatever, and it will just be a good excuse to get some friends together.

IreneDAdler

Only invite your closest friends and just pretend you're hanging out like normal. I know what you mean about not liking being the center of attention; if more than 8 people are looking at me at the same time, I just want to disappear into a hole in the ground. But, that said, I do enjoy hanging out with my friends, playing poker or geeky board games like Settlers of Catan, etc. In the end, it's your birthday, you're an adult, spend it however you goddamn well please.

onceling

I am of the opinion that people should be able to do as they damn well please on their own birthday. However, we're not living in a world where that is a reality. Other people get the impression that your birthday is about *them* and what they want to do.

Let her organize whatever, it turned into a drama-fest when I tried to do what *I* wanted on my birthday and it ended up even worse than just doing other people's planned festivities about themselves.

Lewisham

No-one will give a shit about your birthday once you put a beer and a burger in each hand. Most people only seem to be aware of the event's actual purpose once there is cake.

I'm with Doc: Skip the cake.

Man, I want a BBQ now. Stupid apartment living

Pheezer

onceling wrote: »

I am of the opinion that people should be able to do as they damn well please on their own birthday. However, we're not living in a world where that is a reality. Other people get the impression that your birthday is about *them* and what they want to do.

Let her organize whatever, it turned into a drama-fest when I tried to do what *I* wanted on my birthday and it ended up even worse than just doing other people's planned festivities about themselves.

Stop projecting your personal issues here. It's not helpful.

Nexelau

How about discuss the fact you hate parties with your wife?

Personally, I hate surprises of any kind... good or bad.. because I consider it a bad precedence for a relationship to deceive someone even for a good thing.. my wife knows this, so, they don't happen.

Talk to your wife, try and reason with her, should help!

Everywhereasign

Birthday parties with my friends is just an excuse to go climbing, diving, get drunk and play pool, or whatever. The person who's birthday it is gets out of paying for said event. Other then that it's just like hanging out with the guys. Every once in a while you get to play the "It's my birthday so you're god-damn gonna ..." it lets you get your friends to do all sorts of fun things.

I hate being the centre of attention too, but I always make sure my birthdays are just about having a good time and doing things I like with my friends there.

Kerbob97

yeah the potential good time quotient just went to hell.

My 360 died (red ring of death), went downstairs to fire up the xbox...

I think it was angry, jealous, or posessed. I put a disk in closed the tray...it opened back up and the disk went flying out spinning. Now it won't even power on.

oh well, I wanted a Wii anyways.

ShimSham

Let your wife do something nice for you.

Even if you don't enjoy it, try to at least seem like you do and show appreciation. If nothing else it'll make her happy.

That's just what I think.

Goetterdaemmerung

Uh if your wife wants to do something nice for you on your birthday... :winky:

Seriously.

You need to preempt this party with some planned romance. Unless your wife just wants a party, and this date on which you were born was conveniently nearby. In that case, this thread is a bit misdirected...

IreneDAdler

ShimSham wrote: »

Let your wife do something nice for you.

Even if you don't enjoy it, try to at least seem like you do and show appreciation. If nothing else it'll make her happy.

That's just what I think.

Uh... If his wife really wants to "do something nice" for him, then her goal is to make him happy, not a specific activity. At least, it should be. Otherwise, she's just being inconsiderate. One of the worst things you can do to someone who cares about you is to pretend to be happy instead of trying to openly communicate what would actually make you happy. There are cases of irreconcilable differences such as my preference for opera and my boyfriend's hatred thereof, where it's better to just let it go (I don't try to make him go with me to the opera), but a fucking party isn't such a big deal or unalterable circumstance that the OP should have to "take one for the team."

I'm sorry, I just get really upset when people say the way to deal with these things is to nod and smile and say "Yes, dear" because I believe that's really unhealthy for a relationship, and everyone is entitled to not be miserable.

TychoCelchuuu

Some people's idea of doing something nice for someone is doing whatever that person wants, and some people's idea of doing something nice for someone is doing whatever they would enjoy, except for the other person. You don't like parties, and it sounds like your wife simply asked if you wanted a party. If she doesn't have her heart set on it just say "no" and leave it at that. If she really does want to throw you a party I'd say just suck it up and deal with it, it's just one day and you'lll make her happy.