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School Social - moest impawtent night of lief???
Revolutionary
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Well, I got a school social (or a school dance as I think it's called in the US) between my (private) school and another private school. As a 15 year-old, its kinda of daunting I guess.
I'm well aware that in a year or two I will remember how 'lame' it will be. I don't need to be forewarned.
Anyway my main problem is talking to girls in the first place. I'm pretty sure that while in a conversation I'll do fine. But it's when I'm standing there, with everyone around me knowing what they're doing, that I feel out of place.
So can anyone give me any hints on how to get something started in the first place? How do I approach a girl? Certain dos/do nots? That's not to say I'm clueless, but I feel a bit too 'nerved' when it comes to actually approaching someone. I think my main problem is fear of being rejected
Any advice is appreciated. It's about 4 days from now, if that's helpful.
Other notes:
-I'm not hideously ugly or anything. I'd say I'm average.
-I walk home from school. I don't see girls on buses so I can't relate this to any other experiences.
-I *do* know a few girls on MSN, two of whom I am intending to meet with a mate, but that's a month or two away.
-It is not a formal dance. There will be a DJ there.
Past experiences could be helpful.
Again, any advice is appreciated. :P
I'm well aware that in a year or two I will remember how 'lame' it will be. I don't need to be forewarned.
Anyway my main problem is talking to girls in the first place. I'm pretty sure that while in a conversation I'll do fine. But it's when I'm standing there, with everyone around me knowing what they're doing, that I feel out of place.
So can anyone give me any hints on how to get something started in the first place? How do I approach a girl? Certain dos/do nots? That's not to say I'm clueless, but I feel a bit too 'nerved' when it comes to actually approaching someone. I think my main problem is fear of being rejected
Any advice is appreciated. It's about 4 days from now, if that's helpful.
Other notes:
-I'm not hideously ugly or anything. I'd say I'm average.
-I walk home from school. I don't see girls on buses so I can't relate this to any other experiences.
-I *do* know a few girls on MSN, two of whom I am intending to meet with a mate, but that's a month or two away.
-It is not a formal dance. There will be a DJ there.
Past experiences could be helpful.
Again, any advice is appreciated. :P
Revolutionary on
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Lastly don't worry if you crash and burn. Learning to be social can sometimes be a baptism by fire. So even if things don't go your way, you still received valuable experience.
Good Luck!
It's much, much easier when you've got a friend or two or three with you. Someone to chill with. Even chilling with a guy who is also chilling with you just because he doesn't want to look dumb because he's alone is better than being alone, in many of these cases. Girls are more open with groups of boys than single ones, usually.
You've been mis-informed. No one knows what they're doing. The difference is confidence. Not in that you'll always say and do the 'right' thing and never make a mistake, but that no matter what happens everything will work itself out.
Then recap the encounter, find the points where you stumbled to find something to say and find the points where you said something retarded. Strike them from your vocabulary. When you struggled to find something to say, come up wih some things to use in that situation for next time. It's like preparing for a test. You know what people often say, so before you do it, come up with some good answers.
Be sincere and confident. Most importantly, have fun.
Try again.
B.net: Kusanku
However, if you'd like to be daring, there are things you can do to actually enjoy yourself. First off, dance. You will undoubtedly think you look stupid, but most people will just be jealous that you have the balls to actually dance. Just goof around with goofy dance moves in with your friends to build some confindence. Smile a lot. Act like you're having fun. Dont look all sad and mopey because 10 girls havent come up to you and asked you to dance. The next thing you can do is ask girls to dance, if you really really suck at dancing the easiest time to do this is during the slow songs. Note: girls at that age are also very uncomfortable dancing wildly. Slow dances are absurdly easy to dance to. You just put your hands on or around her hips and she puts her hands on your shoulders or around your neck and you sway back and forth slowly spinning in a circle. Not hard at all. You can either not talk at all (acceptable) or break the ice and ask her name and shit.
I was horrible socially awkward at that age and couldn't carry on conversations with strange girls to save my life, but I did ask girls to dance and pretended to breakdance for laughs and people thought I was cool. Also, really really, ask girls to dance. All you need to say is 'you wanna dance?'. Its cake.
Just go there to have a good time, you're not there to meet your future girlfriend.
It's one day away, so any last words of advice?
Again, thanks for the assistance so far.
Really? Because mine pretty much sucked ass. Apparently the year after mine was better, they even had a spontaneous dance-off break out.
Well its a matter of, you're not gonna see alot of these acquaintances much, if at all, that and some acquaintances turn in to friends over night.
Mine was an experience I'll hold dear for life.
Though theres no drinking, people are so sleep deprived that it didn't even matter, around 4 am everyone was so gone, it was hilarious.
If you meet a cool girl, and you get to talking, and it turns out that she likes something that you like, don't go "OH MAN I HAVE NEVER MET A GIRL WHO LOVES X WOW OH GOSH". Just treat her like a normal person. :P
Man, i remember my first school dance....in 6th grade. I just sat down with a friend the whole time. I even turned girls down who wanted to dance. What a douche thing to do.
Anyway, i recommend taking some TIC TACS with you, or some type of mind. Stay way from fruity mints or gum. If you aren't asking a girl to go, i recommend going with a buddy of some sort, or see if you can join a group. Theres really no point in going if you aren't going to socialize to some extent.
Its going to be loud, so if you are going to speak, be succinct. And a really good tip was only talking about general subjects. The last thing you want is to have to EXPLAIN something to a person, or a whole group. Talk about something on Youtube, or a new band that just came out, not about your new level in WoW.
I mean it all really depends on who you are approaching/talking to. If its just a bunch of buddies, then i'm sure you'll be comfortable anyway, that's just general advice for meeting new people.
uhhh...if you are sitting down, make sure to relax and lean back. trust me, leaning back is the best way to relax yourself and relax others around you.
If you are interested in getting to know an individual, its very important to talk to them alone, or jump into an opportunity when they become alone. Like if they are getting some snacks, or they are outside alone, or w/e.
Either way, i understand your fear of rejection, its something ALOT of people (guys and girls alike) go thru. All i can tell you is --don't worry, you WILL get rejected, it won't feel great. But you'll eventually realize its very normal, and even the coolest person will get rejected. don't let it get to you, and just brush your shoulders off and find someone else who is interesting to you.
Dancing is your friend. If you can't dance, learn quick-smart. Even if not in time for this social, you want to learn eventually in time for the next one. Its the greatest tool you have.
Dancing is COOL to be able to do for later life, but in high school, mostly everyone (by everyone, I mean all the guys) still thinks dancing is gay, so they don't do it. If you can, then the guys will call you gay, the girls will laugh and say "yeah man, how gay is that!!!?" and then come up to you afterwards for your number.
Personal experience with it. they played the macarena at a grade 11 social, when I was 16. Naturally, I started dancing. All the guys cracked up laughing and pointing at me. I smiled and kept going. They stopped laughing when they noticed that 90% of the girls were lined up behind me dancing along with me.
And be confident when you ask for a dance. Don't ask, even. "Would you like to dance?" is stupid.
Try "lets dance!!!" be high energy about it, and don't ever question a rejection. Don't say "why not?" for example. It'll put them on the spot and make them feel uncomfortable. There could be any number of reasons why they might not want to dance, and most of them will have nothing to do with you. Simply say "cool", and go find another girl you want to dance with.
90% of the time, girls will dance with you when you "ask" them. So from that point, you need to show them that you can dance. Once you've done that, dance for a couple of songs, then go somewhere quieter, talk for a little bit, get to know some interesting stuff about them.
INTERESTING STUFF, KEY-WORD. Don't ask them how old they are (you probably know roughly how old they are if its a single-grade-only social. Don't ask them what sports they play, don't ask them where they work, or which school they go to, don't ask them ANYTHING BORING. Instead, ask questions like "whats your favourite animal, and why?". Or..."whats the first thing you look for in a guy you've just met?". Then, comically imitate what they just said. If they say "I look for a big, friendly smile", immediately put the cheesiest most gigantic smile on your face, and say "how's this? Do I win?". If you haven't fucked up yet up to this point, they'll laugh. And once they laugh, say "come on, lets go dance again". Basically, you should always be leading the way, and being unpredictable.
Hope this helps, PM any questions.
edit: No! Beaten hard. I'm gonna go slump in my chair and recite monologues about my life.
The girls spend hours deciding what to wear, a lot probably go out shopping the day before to pick something to wear. Then they spend hours on the phone DISCUSSING what they're going to wear, then they change their outfit six times before they leave, then they put on about an hour's worth of makeup, and probably spend eighteen centuries or so on their hair.
So its safe to say they have a lot more effort invested in this night than you do.
Well guys, I'm back.
Went really well to be honest, although my friend who was gonna help me out bailed on me, I found another group of acquaintances and we started meeting people, I actually kinda led the group, often 'breaking' into other groups.
Got 5 MSNs/Numbers :P
Could have got 9, but four girls I met danced with us, offered to drink with us, but suddenly say 'don't worry, we're good' when we offer to sit down. Odd.
Anyway this went really well for me, thanks guys! But for now I'm tired, it's 11:30.
-a happy revolutionary
Now you just gotta start using them
Good work man.