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Roommate is Irritating
SoonerMan
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ok, I know in one of the college advice threads someone said to man up and just tell your roommate off or talk to them or whatever. I can't do that, I'm the "nice guy." But my roommate is in ROTC and him waking up at 5 was expected and hasn't been a problem; but good God this guy has no social graces when it comes to eating.
Everytime he brings food back to the room (and man do I cringe when I see that) all I hear is the constant smacking of his lips. He's doing it right now as I type this and I cannot fucking stand it. I don't want to seem like I was raised better than he was and his etiquette that his parents taught him is atrocious. It doesn't even have to be food. Gum is a big one and somehow he manages to smack when he drinks water.
He's a cool guy, but the kid goes through water ridiculously. He says he'll only drink bottled water when I suggested we just get a purified pitcher-thing. He puts 24 bottles in there at a time and the next day they're usually all gone. He also says, "Whats going on?" or "whats up?" everytime he sees me. It doesn't matter if its been a few hours or thirty seconds. It never fails. I understand he's being polite but entering and leaving the room and forgetting I hadn't been doing anything?
Do I rip into him or is there a way I can do this lightly? I'm losing my insanity. He usually studies in the lounge on the 12th floor, which is fine because I like to study with a little bit of noise. But while I'm trying to do that he'll just meander through the room, go back at random and come back at random. Its irritating. I was trying to read last night, he knew this, and he was getting ready for bed. He goes to the bathroom, leaves the water running and has to yell to our suitemates (who are just feet away.)
I know I've probably done shit to irritate him but I cannot do this!
Everytime he brings food back to the room (and man do I cringe when I see that) all I hear is the constant smacking of his lips. He's doing it right now as I type this and I cannot fucking stand it. I don't want to seem like I was raised better than he was and his etiquette that his parents taught him is atrocious. It doesn't even have to be food. Gum is a big one and somehow he manages to smack when he drinks water.
He's a cool guy, but the kid goes through water ridiculously. He says he'll only drink bottled water when I suggested we just get a purified pitcher-thing. He puts 24 bottles in there at a time and the next day they're usually all gone. He also says, "Whats going on?" or "whats up?" everytime he sees me. It doesn't matter if its been a few hours or thirty seconds. It never fails. I understand he's being polite but entering and leaving the room and forgetting I hadn't been doing anything?
Do I rip into him or is there a way I can do this lightly? I'm losing my insanity. He usually studies in the lounge on the 12th floor, which is fine because I like to study with a little bit of noise. But while I'm trying to do that he'll just meander through the room, go back at random and come back at random. Its irritating. I was trying to read last night, he knew this, and he was getting ready for bed. He goes to the bathroom, leaves the water running and has to yell to our suitemates (who are just feet away.)
I know I've probably done shit to irritate him but I cannot do this!
Rah, Oklahoma! Rah, Oklahoma! Rah, Oklahoma~! O-K-U!
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On the other hand, not everything has to be a big confrontation - if you just mention something offhand and don't make a big deal out of it, he might take the hint. It's worth a try.
Yeah, I had a roommate who did that...as well as shat in the bed, on the walls, on the ceiling and on every piece of furniture in the dorm room. I think I spent 4 straights days scrubbing down every square inch of the room twice over with industrial strength cleaner to remove the stain and the smell.
I could tell some wonderful college roommate horrors stories...but I don't want to scare anyone away from going to college. It would make a great thread though.
To the OP, You have very minor complaints about your roommate. Give it a few weeks, and if this particular behavior still truly bothers you, say something polite about it to him in a non-confrontational, non-nasty manner. Remember, you have to live with this person for the next 3+ months (give or take) so it's best not to start a war over lip-smacking.
i did this (rommate swaps can be a bitch to get through legitimate channels) when my freshman suitemate suggested it. it made everyone's experience much better. me and my new roommate just did not get on each others nerves, and our original roommates could live in shitkickerdom bliss.
the issues the OP brings up do sound minor, but I could no better quantify why i preferred not to hang around my original roommate. the guy was just abrasive.
Mine is so bad I've been at my neighbors all weekend, I've started to sleep there and shit, it's like im living there more then here. Hell my food is in their refrigerator.
1. If they're easily hurt, you have no way out. Welcome to life.
2. If he can take a joke or criticism, then the lip-smacking one, as minor as that may be compared to floor-shitting (congrats to that poster on introducing a new level of suck in roommates to me), can be criticized. He has to have heard about it before. Everyone hates lip-smacking like that. Simply say something, without anger or tenseness or stress, such as "Dude, when you eat you smack out loudly. I'm guessing it's unconscious." Leave it at that, wait for him to respond. Admit it drives you crazy, and be quick to point out you don't hate him or anything, just the smacking. In the end, he'll thank you later, because it is a liability when socializing or trying to pick up women.
As for the other stuff, it's pretty damn small, as has been pointed out, and one suspects that you may be the worse roommate. The bottled water bit makes no sense. If you're saying he's taking up the whole fridge, and you want some space, just grab some space for yourself, and tell him to do it on rotation. Like, maybe only 12 damn bottles, and every time he grabs one, replace one.
and eats loudly?
and greets you?
and is sometimes loud?
uh
okay... ask for a room change, ask him not to do said things, or realize that these things are so very small in comparison with what other people do.
I'm sure you're doing things he doesn't like, too, but really, dude, these are so very minor that they're not worth "ripping into him" for. In fact, should you happen to "rip into him", you'd come off as a colossal asshole.
if you really can't stand it, talk to him about it, but that might not do much as these are seemingly things he's not aware he's doing. If you REALLY can't stand it, ask for a room change or arrange one with a suitemate
Alternatively, don't say anything, and let all the rage build in you until one day you totally blow your top at him, and everyone thinks you're a freak because after weeks of not saying anything to him about it, you exploded at him for smacking his lips. On a related note: if you actually go with this option, you are a freak.
As for the "walking in and out of the room" and "yelling" complaints... you do realize you're living in a dorm room, right? People walk in and out. People yell. If you're that easily distracted while studying, you should be doing it in a library. I mean, it'd be different if he did it at three or four in the morning, repeatedly, on weeknights, but while you're up and studying is not something that should be bothering you.
In fact I've witnessed it first hand 4 times.
One time on a nice HDTV. The drunks decided to use a blow dryer on it after it wouldn't turn on.
It worked strangely.
But yea, in agreement here on these being minor complaints.
I don't really even understand the water complaint... I'm going to take a guess and say you probably haven't ever shared a room or a common space with a sibling and need to get used to living with people, or that you're in your room too much and thinking about this too much.
I think your being a little overly sensitive. But if this is really bugging you, then you may want to look into living alone - because as far as roomates go you've got a pretty good one.
I actually worked at work on Saturday. Also I went out on a date with a real life girl.
Can you like, permanently break the forums?
The lip smacking thing drives me batshit too, but you have to accept that lashing out at someone for it is far more socially unacceptable than lip smacking. The only way to go is some variation on, "Look, I realize I'm being neurotic and difficult, but when you do this, it's like nails on a chalk-board for me." However, since he's probably oblivious to his lip smacking, it's not like he's aware that he's doing it--it's not conscious for him. So really, you're going to make yourself look like an ass over something he can't stop anyway.
Mine started out fine in the beginning, but quickly deteriorated into a bad "You might be a redneck" joke combined with liberal doses of pretentious asshole. Lipsmacking and water drinking would have been a welcome change!
Like others, I've got stories of some really bad college roomies/suite mates, but overall, it wasn't so bad.
But yeah, basically just handle it like an adult should, by being honest and polite.
The stuff this guy has done isn't anything to "lose your insanity" about. Just get some headphones, and try to ignore the things that he does that bother you.
From the sounds of it you lucked out when it came to roommates.
during my boarding school, I live in a 20 person per dorm and it really a lot awful. You have zero privacy where your bed is their bed also. So, I think your situation is really under control.
If you can't stand it, maybe this semester will be your last one with him. Start doing strategy how to be separated from him for the next semester. Or else, learn to accept it.
The thing is, I'm hardly ever here. But when I am its so ridiculously irritating. I understand their petty problems and all of that, but I'm just looking for a place to bitch at this point.
The water thing goes like this... he buys like three or four cases at a time, which is a good thing. He's a goddamn camel when it comes to drinking it, though. There have been plenty of times recently where he's drank all of it and I've had to resort to... well, whatever we have... but water is my beverage of choice.
I'm not an only child, I know how to live around people and all of that but it was considered rude in my family to sit there and flap your lips as you eat. Which is why I'm hesitant to say anything.
Seriously. Just deal with it.
And for the record, "nice guys" don't whine about people behind their back because they're too fucking wussy to stake out their personal interests in a calm and logical fashion. Nice guys have their shit together, and both give and take only a reasonable amount. You're at a uni, go find some books on interpersonal communication skills.
Your making it out like drinking a lot of water is the WORST thing he could possibly do. Who cares how much he drinks? Do you count how often he breathes?
It sounds like your reaching for a reason to be irritated with your roommate which is only going to make it seem that much worse. Just let it go and you'll be surprised how quickly it stops being an issue.
You have it fucking good.
I had a roommate that broke stuff. All sorts of stuff. For no real reason. Like punched holes in the bathroom door, smashed the mirrors, broke shelves. Just random stuff. But only while he was sober, drunk he was kind as a bird. I just kept encouraging him to drink all the time so that he wouldn't break things that I'd eventually have to pay for.
Talk to him about the shouting, and maybe the lip smacking, but that's all. Him saying "What's up" all the time isn't really an issue, lots of people do it, just ignore them, or say "Nothing." no matter what you're doing, he doesn't really care what's up, he's just greeting you.
But yeah the water thing doesn't seem to make sense you are complaining he is buying a case and drinking it all?
Satans..... hints.....
The other stuff there is no way you could ever convince me that its as bad as you think it is.
Ask him to try and cut out the lip-smacking thing if he can. And when he asks you whats up, try having a conversation with the guy. I didn't particularly want to share a room when I got to uni, but my roomie ended up becoming one of my best friends there once I got used to it.