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Help me get my life back on track?

zeppelinzeppelin Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Bah. So right now I have this sinking depressing feeling that my life is going to hell, and I can't stop.

The problem is, I know I can stop all this stuff going on, I just have no motivation to do so. I would say that I am perfectly content with dropping out of school, and working a crappy 40/hr a week job at McDonalds, and call it quits on 'hard work'

I am a full time Computer Graphics student. I love my major so much, and it's fairly easy at this point. However I'm a sophmore, on academic probation. If I don't get a C average or better, I get kicked out. I'm at the point where I can do the work, but I don't do it well. I'm a photoshop pro (I'd like to think so), but I give 10%, just getting it done. This goes with all my classes. I have a hard time with attendance, I can just barely make it.

I need to get a job, but always come up short. My bank accound fluctuates with anywhere from 10 to 100 dollars. I have a need to spend money, it seems like. But again, no job.

I have a smoking/chewing tobacco habit, I can't keep a girl for more than one night, and I'm also a raging alcoholic/stoner.

I don't post on PA too much, but I know I can come here for some help. Hopefully. Would psychiatric counseling help? Perhaps a self-help book? I don't know. I just feel like my life derailed and nobody can help. Suggestions?

zeppelin on

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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Well, im no Doctor but it sounds to me like you have clinical depression. If I were you I would get it checked out.

    brandotheninjamaster on
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    Nexus ZeroNexus Zero Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I hate giving this advice because I feel like the biggest hypocrite alive, but I've found that heavy alcohol/cannabis use will destroy any scarce scraps of motivation you might possess. For instance, I should be working on a portfolio to help me out of a similar situation to yours and instead I'm on PA.

    Have you worked a 40 hour job in MaccyD's before? If you're having trouble getting to class for subjects you love then working a brainless 9-5 will do little to satisfy you. A motivator for me was working in a supermarket over the holidays. I now know exactly the kind of job I don't want. Maybe get a part time job in some place like McDonalds?

    Nexus Zero on
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    mastmanmastman Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    it may seem obvious but I'm going to say it anyways and also sound like your parents.

    do these things way less: booze, stonering, tobacco
    do these things way more: school, job

    Basically you need to stop being a lazy ass and grow up. College is a time of fun... AFTER YOU DO SCHOOL. Someone's investing a shitton of money in your college education, I suggest you focus on that. Trust me, it is way cooler to graduate if that's what you want to do.

    mastman on
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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    mastman wrote: »
    it may seem obvious but I'm going to say it anyways and also sound like your parents.

    do these things way less: booze, stonering, tobacco
    do these things way more: school, job


    Basically you need to stop being a lazy ass and grow up. College is a time of fun... AFTER YOU DO SCHOOL. Someone's investing a shitton of money in your college education, I suggest you focus on that. Trust me, it is way cooler to graduate if that's what you want to do.

    Seriously. Think you manage the rest of you life getting paid $7.00 hr from Mc D's? Anyway, why do drugs in the first place? Besides my previous depression advice, you seriously gotta lock it up and fast.

    brandotheninjamaster on
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    RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The OP comes off as very spoiled and entitled. This is called becoming an adult. Sometimes you need to do things that aren't fun, or you don't want to do. Being poor in college is fine. Being poor as an adult is not. Either learn that lesson right here, or find it out the hard way. Try putting some work in, and accomplishing something instead of complaining. God damn, you're only a month into school, start doing work and getting better grades, you can fix it if you actually try.

    RocketSauce on
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    zeppelinzeppelin Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The OP comes off as very spoiled and entitled. This is called becoming an adult. Sometimes you need to do things that aren't fun, or you don't want to do. Being poor in college is fine. Being poor as an adult is not. Either learn that lesson right here, or find it out the hard way. Try putting some work in, and accomplishing something instead of complaining. God damn, you're only a month into school, start doing work and getting better grades, you can fix it if you actually try.

    First off, I am a sophmore.

    Secondly, I understand this. At the moment I'm working at a 'telefund' from the school (to get Alumni to donate), but I need something more financially secure. It's about 100 a week. I know all these steps I have to take, and I seem them, and I am taking them to some extent, but I can't personally get behind my decisions.

    So I know I have this project due wednesday. I know I have to complete it, and I will. But I can't get enthused or motivated to do it, besides actually not failing out of school.

    I would not call myself spoiled or entitled. I have been working for the better part of the past 4 years, and I understand that college is not something I should be doing, or have to be doing, but a gift from my parents to allow me to have a better career. It's just like something in my brain is missing that makes me take advantage of it. I have no clue what's wrong... I think I'll try and hit up some psychiatrist and see if that would make a difference.

    zeppelin on
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    mastmanmastman Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    zeppelin wrote: »
    It's just like something in my brain is missing that makes me take advantage of it. I have no clue what's wrong...

    Yes you do. We told you what's wrong. You skip anything that involves hard work and instead be lazy and do easy/fun stuff with friends. Paying to see a psychiatrist is another instance of you being lazy and trying to get someone else to tell you and maybe give you drugs which might help. But in the end, you'll just choose to do the easy/fun stuff.

    It's not out of your control.

    mastman on
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    PirateJonPirateJon Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I would say that I am perfectly content with dropping out of school, and working a crappy 40/hr a week job at McDonalds, and call it quits on 'hard work'

    Then do it. being content with life is a rare thing.

    PirateJon on
    all perfectionists are mediocre in their own eyes
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    variantvariant Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    What exactly are you doing when not attending class? Sleeping? getting stoned?(in the morning? everyday?)

    variant on
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    PirateJon wrote: »
    I would say that I am perfectly content with dropping out of school, and working a crappy 40/hr a week job at McDonalds, and call it quits on 'hard work'
    Then do it. being content with life is a rare thing.

    Agreed.

    Try it for a while. If you like slacking, then stick with it. Maybe you'll pick up a hobby or learn an instrument or write a book along the way.

    If it turns out you don't actually like slacking and being perpetually broke, then in a year or two you'll get the motivation to pick up your life and do something with it.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

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    RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I'm also going to throw out the best advice you'll hear, something your Psychiatrist (they are expensive) will tell you as well.

    Get off drugs.

    Alcohol and Pot are depressants. They are most likely contributing to your general malaise. Since you are a self-described "raging" stoner/alcoholic, this needs to be dealt with. It's probably the biggest cause (not the only) to your life feeling like shit. Imagine all of the money you'll save by not throwing it away on that shit. Also, where are your parents, and do they know what you've turned in to?

    Here's another waker-upper, you're probably on your parents insurance right now, and they claim you as a dependant, but that won't go on for ever. In most places, after you've turned 25, or support more than 50% of your own income, you're on your own. Have fun paying health insurance and taxes. On a McDonald's Salary.

    Or, you could clean up, do good in school, and find a nice-paying job that offers insurance.

    RocketSauce on
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    Hotlead JunkieHotlead Junkie Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    This may be a weird bit of advice, but get angry about it. Get angry that you don't think your life is going anywhere and get so pissed off about it that you take action about it without worrying. Anger is a fantastic motivator, it gives you drive, energy and passion.

    Can't really explain it that well but I kinda know what you are going through, and after finally 'snapping' and saying to myself 'that's enough', I just got out there and did things I wanted to do without giving a damm about what I thought I SHOULD be doing with my life, took a little time for myslef without worrying and feel much, much better for it and finally got things back on track and feel things have improved a hell of a lot for me.

    Ignore this post at will but I'm just throwing my thoughts into the ring.


    EDIT: I'm not saying quit your job or course, nothing too drastic, but hey, I don't know what is going on in your life so I can't really suggest what you can or can't do to be happy

    Hotlead Junkie on
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    zeppelinzeppelin Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I think tough love (or just tough) is what I need at the moment. I really liked this advice:
    This may be a weird bit of advice, but get angry about it. Get angry that you don't think your life is going anywhere and get so pissed off about it that you take action about it without worrying. Anger is a fantastic motivator, it gives you drive, energy and passion.

    I think I did just need to hear I'm being lazy. I mean, I haven't always been this lazy. I need to clean up and move on.

    So, I have a question - as alcohol and pot are depressants, how long do those effects last? I would have assumed just during the course of taking them, but I could probably pinpoint the spot my life started going to hell and when I started all this crap. I'm going to try and make October sober, starting now. None of this 'one last drink deals'

    Baby steps, baby steps. I guess I just needed to hear it. Thanks guys.

    zeppelin on
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    Hotlead JunkieHotlead Junkie Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    zeppelin wrote: »
    I think tough love (or just tough) is what I need at the moment. I really liked this advice:
    This may be a weird bit of advice, but get angry about it. Get angry that you don't think your life is going anywhere and get so pissed off about it that you take action about it without worrying. Anger is a fantastic motivator, it gives you drive, energy and passion.

    I think I did just need to hear I'm being lazy. I mean, I haven't always been this lazy. I need to clean up and move on.

    So, I have a question - as alcohol and pot are depressants, how long do those effects last? I would have assumed just during the course of taking them, but I could probably pinpoint the spot my life started going to hell and when I started all this crap. I'm going to try and make October sober, starting now. None of this 'one last drink deals'

    Baby steps, baby steps. I guess I just needed to hear it. Thanks guys.

    Baby steps my ass, you should be pissed off that pot and booze is destroying any ounce of motivation that you once had. You should be hating alcahol and pot for screwing up your life, don't say 'please treat me right' and going back to them every so often, they are fucking you up and you should be damn annoyed at that, think of it as a couple of 'freinds' who steal money from you and act all chummy with you but you know you really hate them, which you should. If you just learn to hate them for what they are doing for you you would not WANT to smoke or drink.

    Just think about it, how much time and money have you wasted on those dead ends when you could of been doing so much more with your money and time? I'm trying to get you ticked off about this so you will get angry about it and just throw that crap in the trash.

    After you have done that, instead of drinking or smoking, go do something 'wild', something you have always wanted to do but have always put off or have been hesitant about and realise that it's not going to be terrible for you or anyone else later if you just do something that makes you happy, such as spending a lot of cash on something you have always wanted, asking that barmaid out that you have been eyeing up for the last few weeks, just forget your problems and go and do something fun for a change. What's the worst that could happen?

    Hotlead Junkie on
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    SNESSNES Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Please note that extreme anger is not always the best solution to these problems.

    You can do some horrible things when you're angry.

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    Hotlead JunkieHotlead Junkie Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    SNES wrote: »
    Please note that extreme anger is not always the best solution to these problems.

    You can do some horrible things when you're angry.

    Well that's a given, I'm just telling him he needs to realise there is a real problem and make him want to honestly do something about it.

    EDIT: please disregard my sig image in corellation to my posts

    Hotlead Junkie on
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    SNESSNES Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    SNES wrote: »
    Please note that extreme anger is not always the best solution to these problems.

    You can do some horrible things when you're angry.

    Well that's a given, I'm just telling him he needs to realise there is a real problem and make him want to honestly do something about it.

    EDIT: please disregard my sig image in corellation to my posts

    That's okay, I did that twice last week.

    Which probably means I shouldn't be anywhere near H/A.

    Anyway going batshit and absolutely overturning your personality is an awesome concept but is much harder to achieve in reality. If you could just fly into a magical rage where everything mattered less and your inhibitions ceased to exist I would probably stay in that state of mind all the time.

    As for the OP? Don't go cold turkey.

    SNES on
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    FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Stop treating your school like you can just wing it. You're on academic probation, it's not like it's as easy as you claim. Maybe you need to acknowledge that it's a bigger challenge than you think it is, but realize that the rewards are bigger too.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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    Nexus ZeroNexus Zero Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Don't go cold turkey.

    I dunno man, it makes moderation afterwards far easier. There's nothing wrong with smoking or drinking, just keep it to the weekends like everyone else. If they spill over into the week, you start looking back wondering where months have gone and why you're in the exact same position as you were back then.
    If you could just fly into a magical rage where everything mattered less and your inhibitions ceased to exist I would probably stay in that state of mind all the time.

    Exactly, easier said then done. OP, you could try getting angry but to be honest you don't sound the type. Simply cutting back on the hickory stick and alcohol would be a good start.

    Also, I'm guessing you feel the way you do about school because you've always gone through your academic life with the minimum of effort and the maximum of results. I got great grades at Uni when I put even a little effort into things, and yet I came away with a 2:2. You can guess why. So, yeah, you can't wing it like in the glory days, but it's not that hard just to put some effort in and see results. Though, if you manage it please tell me how.

    Nexus Zero on
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