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[PHALLA!] Something Phallic
ElJeffe
Registered User, ClubPA regular
Registered User, ClubPA regular
Session Start (CardboardBox:NeedlepointVampire): Sun Sep 30 15:04:04 2007
[15:04] NeedlepointVampire: Hey.
[15:23] NeedlepointVampire: I said hey. you going to answer me?
[15:24] CardboardBox: Sorry, pr0n called.
[15:24] NeedlepointVampire: I so didn’t need to know that.
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Hello?
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Are you still fucking whacking it, or what?
[15:31] CardboardBox: Sorry.
[15:31] CardboardBox: What’s up?
[15:31] NeedlepointVampire: You guys still getting all that goatse shit?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Yeah, Phallus Arcade is still Gaping Asshole Central.
[15:32] CardboardBox: How’s stuff at Something Phallic? You guys getting it, too?
[15:32] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah.
[15:32] CardboardBox: Or did you find the guys yet?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Oh. Suck.
[15:33] NeedlepointVampire: Members are dropping like flies. Guys should learn not to fucking come here during work. I guess nobody likes to visit from home, or something.
[15:34] CardboardBox: srsly
[15:34] NeedlepointVampire: At least five people had their works IP block SP this week. We’re running out of regs.
[15:35] CardboardBox: Same here. We lost like seven or eight.
[15:35] CardboardBox: And nobody wants to register, because we have a rep as “
[15:35] CardboardBox: land of the fucking anus” or something.
[15:36] CardboardBox: Fucking weak.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah, I heae ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: hear ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: You know, our forum still kicks your forums ass. Even with all the goatse.
[15:45] NeedlepointVampire: PULL UP YOUR GODDAMED PANTS FUCKER
[15:46] CardboardBox: Shut up bitch.
[15:46] CardboardBox: And no it doesn’t. Phallus Arcade is King of the Forums. Something Phallicis a pathetic imitator.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: Whatever.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: \ / \ / hatever.
[15:48] NeedlepointVampire: Gotta go man. ttyl
[15:49] CardboardBox: Later.
Session Close (NeedlepointVampire): Wed Aug 08 15:13:47 2007
[15:04] NeedlepointVampire: Hey.
[15:23] NeedlepointVampire: I said hey. you going to answer me?
[15:24] CardboardBox: Sorry, pr0n called.
[15:24] NeedlepointVampire: I so didn’t need to know that.
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Hello?
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Are you still fucking whacking it, or what?
[15:31] CardboardBox: Sorry.
[15:31] CardboardBox: What’s up?
[15:31] NeedlepointVampire: You guys still getting all that goatse shit?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Yeah, Phallus Arcade is still Gaping Asshole Central.
[15:32] CardboardBox: How’s stuff at Something Phallic? You guys getting it, too?
[15:32] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah.
[15:32] CardboardBox: Or did you find the guys yet?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Oh. Suck.
[15:33] NeedlepointVampire: Members are dropping like flies. Guys should learn not to fucking come here during work. I guess nobody likes to visit from home, or something.
[15:34] CardboardBox: srsly
[15:34] NeedlepointVampire: At least five people had their works IP block SP this week. We’re running out of regs.
[15:35] CardboardBox: Same here. We lost like seven or eight.
[15:35] CardboardBox: And nobody wants to register, because we have a rep as “
[15:35] CardboardBox: land of the fucking anus” or something.
[15:36] CardboardBox: Fucking weak.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah, I heae ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: hear ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: You know, our forum still kicks your forums ass. Even with all the goatse.
[15:45] NeedlepointVampire: PULL UP YOUR GODDAMED PANTS FUCKER
[15:46] CardboardBox: Shut up bitch.
[15:46] CardboardBox: And no it doesn’t. Phallus Arcade is King of the Forums. Something Phallicis a pathetic imitator.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: Whatever.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: \ / \ / hatever.
[15:48] NeedlepointVampire: Gotta go man. ttyl
[15:49] CardboardBox: Later.
Session Close (NeedlepointVampire): Wed Aug 08 15:13:47 2007
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
ElJeffe on
0
Posts
In the dank jungle that is the intarweb, there are two forums. Well, there’re a whole bunch of forums, but only two are worth discussion: Phalla Arcade, and Something Phallic. Both pride themselves on being the best the net has to offer, their forumers the crème de la crème. Both are largely full of self-important yahoos who revel in dick jokes and… well, that’s about it.
All has been well in the PA and SP communities, until recently. In the past few weeks, there has been a rash of goatse attacks. People have been signing up to the boards, posting photos of weeping man-maw, and then running away giggling. (Or, rather, being banned with great prejudice.) At first it was thought that the menace originated from outside, from the great untamed wilderness of the web, but those running the communities now think differently. They think the perpetrators are insiders, long-time regs who have been wearied by the heavy yoke of same-old-same-old. People who create alts, post dude-ass, and then feign horror with the rest of their forums.
That the assault has happened simultaneously on both forumers suggests that the perps are working together – a frightening thought indeed. Or maybe just sort of weird, whatever.
Even more insidious, the goatse’ers’ attacks aren’t limited to the simple posting of goatse. Oh no, these deviants seek to ruin people’s lives, as well, to the extent that impeding the workings of a silly internet forum constitutes “ruining lives”. The fiends have realized that, for whatever reason, people only ever post from work. They have also, then, taken to anonymously emailing the HR departments of forumers’ workplaces about the presence of “inappropriate images” on the forums, with links to the offending sphincter-pics. As such, forumers have had access to their beloved forums blocked. The horror! The humanity! The laughably improbable plot device!
The staff at each forum has proved laughably inept at rooting out the goatse’ers, and so they have turned to their forumers, asking them who they think might be responsible for this mess. Maybe the proles can succeed where the glorious leaders have failed.
Your happy little corner of the internet fancies itself a family of fun-loving blokes. You’re not a group of snooty eggheads like those pretentious bastards over at Phalla Arcade - you know how to have a good time. And if it happens that a “good time” happens to usually involve toilet humor, well, so be it. SP’s admin is NeedlepointVampire.
The membership of Something Phallic is posted below.
You normally have three moderators, but one of them recently became disgusted and left, never to return. Your current moderators are:
Unearthly Stew
Romantic Undead
You will need to elect a third moderator; the vote for this will close Monday, Oct. 1st at 8:00pm.
Rules:
Each night, you’ll vote for who you wish to be booted from the forum community. Votes for removal should be bolded and red'd. This person will be IP banned from Something Phallic. (In Phalla terms, he dies.)
When someone is IP banned (ie, dies), or has access blocked by their place of employment (ie, dies), he immediately registers at Phalla Arcade. You guys may be bitter rivals, but deep down you recognize that you’re two sides of the same juvenile, sex-obsessed coin. In order to be removed from the game, you must be “removed” from both forums. This applies to good guys as well as bad guys.
Any powers you may have at one forum transfer to the other forum, unless the role description in your PM says otherwise. Powers may only be used against members of your current forum. An analyst at Something Phallic can not use his analyst powers against a member of Phalla Arcade, for example.
You are encouraged to read the threads corresponding to both forums, but you may ONLY POST IN WHATEVER THREAD CORRESPONDING TO THE FORUM YOU BELONG TO. If you are a Something Phallic member, you may only post in SP. If you’re killed, you may then only post in Phalla Arcade. If you’re killed again, you’re out, and you don’t get to post no more.
These are the roles and how many of each there are per forum as of now. Except for Moderators, you only get to see the names of the roles, not their powers:
Plain Ol Forumer (6)
Big Fish (2)
Persona Non Grata (2)
Analyst (2)
Coworker (4)
Alt (2)
Jr. Admin (1)
Moderator (2)
Goatse Technician (3) [these are the badguys]
Goatse Alt (1)
About Moderators:
Moderators are elected by popular vote. On days when there are mod vacancies, each person may vote for one individual to be a mod. Votes should be bolded and limed. Those with the highest vote counts at the close of voting will be made mods the following day. Once you’re a mod, you’re a mod for life; there is no way to remove you, unless you’re banned, blocked, or you willingly resign. The mods collectively have the following powers:
- Once per night, the mods may decide upon one person to ban. The decision doesn’t have to be unanimous. If there is a tie, the target will be chosen randomly by the admin (that’s me, your gracious host). As long as any one mod selects a target, a mod-ban will occur.
- The mods may veto the public ban vote. This requires unanimous consensus among current mods. (If there are only two mods unbanned on a current night, only those two need to vote for a veto). There will be no vote-by-proxies on this – all the mods must be around to veto the vote in person, or it doesn’t happen.
If a mod is banned or blocked on a given night, the vote for his replacement will take place the following day. If a mod resigns, the vote will take place immediately. If a mod resigns 5 minutes before the vote closes, the regs have 5 minutes to vote for a replacement. If no votes for a new mod are made by the close of voting, the vote will occur on the next day, as if the mod had died.
In the event of a tie vote, the modship is granted randomly to one of the top vote-getters.
Win Conditions:
To win, the good guys must eliminate all Goatse Technicians in both forums.
The Goatse Technicians win if the good guys fail to eliminate them all. If all GTs are eliminated in one forum but not in the other, the GTs win.
Addendum (this is where rule clarifications will go):
Voting closes each night at 8:00pm PST.
The first vote will be Monday, Oct. 1
Moderators were chosen at random from among all players after roles were given out. The initial moderators may also be specials or bad guys.
If the moderators successfully veto the ban vote, there will be no banning that night.
Order of actions:
- Moderator kills
- Bad guy kills
- Vote kills
- Election results
This is the text of the default forumer PM, so nobody can use it for verification purposes:
The original members of Something Phallic are:
Medopine
Variable
NATIK
Oatway
AngelHedgie
HylianBunny
RomanticUndead
Casual Eddy
Niceguy Myeye
Crono729
The members of Something Phallic who are rejects from Phalla Arcade are:
froggy
Oboro
Laos
gundam470
Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud
Your mods are currently:
Romantic Undead
Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud
Laos
grats, yo.
Also, I added an addendum to the rules post.
I woulda been first in the other one too, but I can't post there.
I
Why thank you Malkor, you get cookies!
Far be it for me to refuse a man who desires cock.
Is that an offer?
:winky:
He had to earn his modship somehow.
Or maybe it's a cry for help.
Hey man, as long as I'm the Giver..
O shi...
You're assuming sense needs to be made for something like this to work. That's your first mistake.
Just teasing
zomg hai!
I think it'll make things more interesting if the players don't know exactly what things to. The powers are appropriate given the roles' names, so you can probably get some idea of what they do just by thinking about it.
Mods don't have any special knowledge. If they knew more, maybe there wouldn't be a goatse epidemic to begin with.
Well, that's what you get for letting relative n00bs like me become a mod.
I mean, really, what were you thinking?
Oooh. I misread one sentence in your rules post. You wrote "Except for moderators, you don't see what powers each role has." I interpreted that as "Only moderators get to see the powers of each role." Ok, that makes more sense.
(this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)
Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.
Good point. We should ban him and elect someone who has a fucking clue, mirite?
(this is my chance to shed my good-girl persona)
Hey there cowboy, if you like sex with women so much, why don't you come give me a try
No u n00b, itz coxdixlol!
I will enjoy... uh.. touching your vagina.
Hellz no! I offered you a snack, not the whole kitchen!
Lawlerskates! You said vagina! Fag! olol
Then let's... look at baby stuff? That's what we do right, think about producing babies?
I vote we propose a deal to these goatse-loving folk, we support them in their rule over at Phalla Arcade, so we send them over there and we help put them in charge. As long as our forum is clear, I'm not certain we care what happens over there.
It'll be a like a puppet government.
WHAAAT? Faggotry? IN MY FORUM?
GET YE BEHIND ME SATAN!
Post war.
(Do the goatse technicians actually get to post goatse? If they can, won't that give them away? Maybe they can't post directly, but through an allowable alt. Goatse alt? If they can't, do we have to pretend they've posted? Am I allowed to ask about rules and roles?)
It wasn't very uplifting but did get the point across. Although recent conversation leads me to believe he was leading me on.