Dealing with anger

mooshoepork

Hello, I'm not sure if anyone can help here, but I think I might have an anger problem. I am only 17, and it worries me greatly. My dad has a short temper, but never to the extent of physically harming someone. I have never hurt anyone either. When I get really angry at something I almost kind of black-out, and before I can stop myself, I have broken something or accidently hurt myself in frustration. I am not sure how to deal with it. I have tried breathing, or exercising. But it gets to a point where anything will set me off. This has been worsened by my upcoming Year 12 exams, but has always been apparent. What can I do to deal with this? Has anyone been through something similar?

trentsteel

Hmmm.


I would see a doctor about this right away.

It sounds like stress is causing this but it doesn't sound natural.

trentsteel

By natural, I mean, I think you might have an imbalance of some kind because it is happening to you quite often, and, by the sounds of it, over nothing most of the time.

If you are having memory loss and breaking things/hurting yourself when you black out, just think of the horrible possibilities.

I would get this checked right away before you do something worse to yourself or someone else.

The Cat

Is there a counsellor or nurse at your school you can talk to, or can you access one via a reference from your GP? Either path is a good way to getting some effective counselling/training, which is what you need. I don't think its something the forums are likely to be able to provide (You're going to get a lot of "buy a punching bag" style tips) unless there's someone here who's had the exact same thing.

trentsteel

I don't think it's a "dealing with his anger" sort of thing to be honest.

I think the problem here is chemical, not psychological.

The Cat

are you a neuropsychologist?

trentsteel

The Cat wrote: »

are you a neuropsychologist?

No. Are you?

trentsteel

Also I think you mean Psychiatrist.

mooshoepork

By black-out I don't mean I don't REMEMBER it. Maybe my words were a little extreme. I mean I can't always control what I do. I thought it may just be teenage angst or something? Hormones?

The Black Hunter

mooshoepork wrote: »

By black-out I don't mean I don't REMEMBER it. Maybe my words were a little extreme. I mean I can't always control what I do. I thought it may just be teenage angst or something? Hormones?

No, I beleive you may be one of the few people who actually have a chemical imbalance attributed to their issues.

Go see someone about it.

mooshoepork

Will that probably lead to medication?

poshniallo

It may be physiological, but I have a temper like yours, or maybe worse (the few times I've lost my temper I break stuff and get in fights) and I've learned to control myself (though it's made me a bit too non-confrontational).

Go see someone about it, either a doctor or a counsellor. There are a lot of possibilities, and you're young and still a mass of hormones at 17, so don't start thinking you're a freak and avoiding those who can help.

trentsteel

mooshoepork wrote: »

Will that probably lead to medication?

It's possible, but it might be like a PRN that you just take when you start feeling irritable that will make you feel...well marshmellowy a bit. Not enough to make you act weird but enough to take the edge off.

mooshoepork

Okay, thank you for the help. Is there anything I can do in the meantime when it occurs?

trentsteel

mooshoepork wrote: »

Okay, thank you for the help. Is there anything I can do in the meantime when it occurs?

It sounds cliche...but


COUNT TO TEN


Remove yourself from the situation.

Take a deep breathe and count to ten.

Then return to the situation (or room or person or whatever)

trentsteel

If you can train yourself to do this automatically you will be able to control yourself to calm down enough to think. No matter how mad someone makes you, thinking about what to do for even ten seconds is always better than a decision you might have made in a split second.

The Cat

trentsteel wrote: »

The Cat wrote: »

are you a neuropsychologist?

No.

Then you have no place attempting to diagnose him, which you'll notice is something I at least have the sense to avoid. All you can sensibly do is direct him to someone who has half a fucking clue what they're on about, which you'll notice is exactly what I did. Don't play armchair diagnostician with vulnerable people.

by the way, I mean exactly what I say - a psychiatrist isn't going to be able to definitively pinpoint a 'chemical' problem. If you don't even know what the various head doctors do, you really shouldn't be posting in here.

trentsteel

The Cat wrote: »

trentsteel wrote: »

The Cat wrote: »

are you a neuropsychologist?

No.

Then you have no place attempting to diagnose him, which you'll notice is something I at least have the sense to avoid. All you can sensibly do is direct him to someone who has half a fucking clue what they're on about, which you'll notice is exactly what I did. Don't play armchair diagnostician with vulnerable people.

by the way, I mean exactly what I say - a psychiatrist isn't going to be able to definitively pinpoint a 'chemical' problem. If you don't even know what the various head doctors do, you really shouldn't be posting in here.

Yeah, telling him to get it checked out is not directing him to someone who...oh wait it is.

Actually, that's a large part of what a Psychiatrist does, a Neuropsychologist looks for diseases or problems in the nervous system that might be causing problems in behavior. Both jobs overlap a little and sometimes one refers someone to the other.

I was making educated guesses on what the problem might be. I don't see anywhere up there where I diagnosed him. Where is my diagnosis, exactly?

Also, don't swear at me.

trentsteel

But yeah, dude The Cat and I agree you need to see someone before you do something you regret.


It might just turn out you are really irritable right now and you need to talk about it, or maybe they will offer you some kind of anti-anxiety pill...we don't know and neither do you until you consult a professional.

And don't be scared to go.

Raziel

Couldn't hurt to talk to someone more knowledgeable than the internet. I don't have any anecdotal advice for you, but it seems to me it could be a couple of things:

1. Stress. Exams are a big deal, and schools put a lot of pressure on students around exam time, knowingly or not. Your doc could at least recommend some techniques for dealing with stress.

2. Some kind of more serious medical condition. A hormone thing or something.

Either way, you're obviously worried enough to ask here, so you must be worried enough to ask a professional.

Cowboy Bebop

Your 17 it's normal to be a bit crazy at this time in your life, also the exams will be putting you under even more pressure. The hole in my wall can attest to that.

Just do something that you enjoy to get rid of the stress like listen to some music for a while or kick the crap out of your friends on street fighter, I’m told it helps but I've never one a game of street fighter :P