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Haha, I'm going to be a hypocrite. (Relationship stuff)
Local H Jay
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay, I'm a Junior in High School. I'm very opinionated about couples and what they do (More accurately, where they do it). In my school, PDA is an issuse. So much so that my last girlfriend felt alienated from me when I didn't want to make out in school, like it was the normal thing to do. I write cartoons for the school newspaper, and most deal with my deep-seated hatred for PDA.
Another firm stance I take is on Senior-Freshmen relationships. I don't know why exactly, but a 18 year old dude and a 14 year old girl making out next to my Chem class irks the fuck out of me.
Getting to the point, I am now single and looking for a new companion (Been single for like, 5 months). I'm in the school play and there's a girl there I have taken a liking to. Aside from my own problems with making eye contact, and well, talking to her, there's another issuse.
She's a sophmore. And she's turning 15 in a month. Mean she's 14 now, and I turn 18 in about half a year.
Which is borderline what I hate to see everyday at my school. And my friends would never let me hear the end of it. And if they did, I could be sure that when they talk about me when I'm not around, it'd come up (In my "Clique", we judge one another on opinions and actions (And wether we mean them) almost exclusively.)
So, this is my predicament.
Sacrifice my beliefs to puruse a new relationship, or continue the search in a higher age bracket.
Now that I've typed this out, it seems very trivial. Meh, might as well still post it.
Another firm stance I take is on Senior-Freshmen relationships. I don't know why exactly, but a 18 year old dude and a 14 year old girl making out next to my Chem class irks the fuck out of me.
Getting to the point, I am now single and looking for a new companion (Been single for like, 5 months). I'm in the school play and there's a girl there I have taken a liking to. Aside from my own problems with making eye contact, and well, talking to her, there's another issuse.
She's a sophmore. And she's turning 15 in a month. Mean she's 14 now, and I turn 18 in about half a year.
Which is borderline what I hate to see everyday at my school. And my friends would never let me hear the end of it. And if they did, I could be sure that when they talk about me when I'm not around, it'd come up (In my "Clique", we judge one another on opinions and actions (And wether we mean them) almost exclusively.)
So, this is my predicament.
Sacrifice my beliefs to puruse a new relationship, or continue the search in a higher age bracket.
Now that I've typed this out, it seems very trivial. Meh, might as well still post it.
Local H Jay on
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Posts
17/2 + 7 = 15.5
18/2 + 7 = 16
Therefore you will have a 5 month window where it is not overly creepy. Or no window if you use fractions (dammit, where's my Geeks Guide to Dating Teenagers rulebook).
Rule aside though, I wouldn't go near a 14 year old, even if I was your age.
What kind of women does your highness prefer?
Sarcasm aside, I echo what Cardboard Tube said, minus the "go for it" part. I have a feeling he was being sarcastic as well.
Also, why does it bother you so much that other people display their affection publicly?
I didn't want to say "I want someone to suck face with."
But it's just, for me, I'm trying to get through my school day. I have to deal with obnoxious people and the way they yell out their problems for all to hear. And what's this? Johnny-Varsity-Jacket is playing tonsil-hockey with some hoed-out Freshman against my fucking locker.
Perhaps it's latent jealously, but mostly it's just nasty and I don't want to see it. (These kids are not actors, but they try to make these kisses as deep and "Loving" as they can. So, it's vomit-inducing.)
It probably is. Good news is, it is normal among people your age.
Look, it is OK to be grossed out by tongue-kissing or whatever. But you don't have to hate people for it. Hell, these are just kids - they aren't out to piss you off. They are just exploring each other, and themselves. Let them be.
I mean, you're bitter about Johnny-Varsity-Jacket and you're calling the freshmen girl he makes out with whores. Furthermore, you're drawing cartoons on the school paper ridiculing their behavior. That's not a healthy attitude to have. Neither is it polite.
I'm sorry I'm acting out of place to tell you these things. It's just for your own good, and it will probably make your relations with the opposite sex easier if you are less bitter about the whole thing.
It sure is unhealthy. If you don't you know, have a sense of humor. People don't make out in a hallway (just) because they like making out, it's about being a fuckhead in public. It is a damn good reason to get pissed at someone over.
Personally, I wouldn't hit that with yours.
Ho.
See, this would be your classic case of proscriptive beliefs colliding head on with human nature. Suddenly you see some personal benefit in behaviour frowned on by whatever puritanical bent you follow, and want to jump ship.
You have three choices:
1. Decide that you are 17, might not know everything, that perhaps experimentation and an open mind are a good thing, ask the girl out and take whatever hit for it you must.
2. Decide that you are 17, do know everything, are right in what you believe damnit! and will be a man of Principle (TM)...or more likely, that you don't have the balls to admit a mistake and get ridiculed for it by your mates.
3. Decide that you want to do both, find some absurd way to justify the conflict, secretly see the girl without your friends knowing, or just flip-flop whenever it suits you.
Whether you pick what's behind door 1 or door 2 is up to you. Just don't go for no 3, that is bad. Very, very bad.
PS I know it's high school and all, but is there not some warning bell going off in your head that your group of friends essentially seem to be a back-biting clique of colossally judgemental pricks?
She's a very nice girl, and I do like her alot (And think she likes me too), but the age difference seems to be the deciding factor here. Perhaps if she were just alittle older...
I don't MIND people kissing at all. It's when these high schoolers who don't know how to properly kiss are doing it CONSTANTLY at my school to the point of disgust. And most people agree with my comics, they always tell me they hate how these people can't wait 3 hours to doit after school. A quick kiss is fine. A 3 minute long tounge dance is just obnoxious.
And about my friends being colossal pricks: This is true, it's why I hang out with them. Because I'm more than likely one of them (Read: My first post).
Hypocrisy isn't your issue... immaturity and arrogance might be.
you have a problem with 18 year old seniors dating 14 year old freshman (totally with you on that one)
so you are a 17 year old junior
with a might-as-well-be-15-year-old sophomore
I'm not following you here
I almost went for a 15 year-old when I was 17 but I would have been completely harassed, even though she was the hottest 15 year-old in the 10th grade. Even that is obviously somewhat taboo.
In all of my years of high school, I've never seen a good relationship like that. As a matter of fact, I saw a 17 year-old senior make out with a 14 year-old eighth grader and not only be harassed and tormented by his peers for bragging about it, he was expelled for doing it on school grounds.
You're talking about the same deal with a smaller grade gap. The 14 year old was as "hot" as a 14 year old gets and used to have an interest in me (What is it with younger girls liking me?!), but I never bit, and look - I'm not the guy that got expelled for being a dumbass. My high school was also extremely strict.
All I'm saying is, our culture doesn't accept it, and it does become a lot of trouble later on. Why do you have the beliefs you have? Chances are, there's a good reason for it.
There's good points in here. Except, Sarastro seems to be vouching for you to do it, knowing full well what will probably come of it. There's a reason to listen to other peoples' warnings and advice - so you don't have to make the same mistakes they did. While it could be a learning experience, true, it doesn't have to be if you already know what will probably happen.
In my school dating two years under you isn't uncommon at all.
It seems that girls go for older guys. It just so happens that most of the girls of the same age are dating older guys in college.
I mean if this were the real world, and you were actually looking for a serious relationship then it's probably a bad idea, but you're in highschool. Have fun.
Yo I'm from El Paso! What high school do/did you go to? I was at Burgess. When I was a sophomore I was going for the senior girls but then when I was a senior I kinda just stayed with my colleagues and looked at freshman and sophmores as too immature for anything.
Plus if anything Local H you are acting like you live in the 1950's or something.
QFT
I like the divide by 2, add 7 rule myself, so I'll agree with Scooter and CT.
Hah, crazy coincidence. I went to Hanks.
And yeah, Senior dating a freshman/sophmore would be a bit weird, but a Junior dating a Sophmore doesn't seem to bad.
Each to their own though. If the OP thinks it'll just bring to much trouble, just avoid it then.
do you really want to tell your new friends you'll be meeting in college/work about your 14 year old girlfriend?
Just fuck her and be done with it.
For the love of all things holy, don't try to continue the relationship past the summer, yeah? I'm getting real tired of all these "wah wah my long-distance high school girlfriend was immature and fucked a guy while I was gone what should I do?" threads.
It doesn't seem like it'll amount to much, and I can see ways it could sour quickly.
I'll just have to find someone closer to my age is all.
Which is harder because older girls can see how much of an asshole I am...
Believe me, it's not me trying to be cool.
I have trouble not voicing my opinions, which is where the trouble stems from.
I sometimes can tell myself to shut up, but mostly I just say whatever I'm thinking and it pisses people off.
Eh, my friends are similar and it doesn't normally bother me, but it can sour a relationship rather quickly.
Just learn to shut the fuck up then man. Or one day you're going to say the wrong thing to someone and get shot.
It's force of habit is all. If I'm in a comfortable situation I just don't think about what I'm saying.
It's not like I go up to stangers and tell them that their fat ass needs to shut up. I'm pretty shy around people I don't know. But around people I do know I shoot my mouth of alittle too much. And it's not always the nicest thing I ever said.
So you know what your problem is, but you won't try to fix it, even after being repeatedly told that that is what you should be doing.
I see.
Tried? What the fuck does that even mean? That you were trying to stop but decided it was too hard and now fuck it?
Keep working at it. Or else one day you're going to get your ass kicked.
I appreciate the advice on this situation, but stop telling me things I already know.
Yeah, it's a horrible habit and I should stop, it's gotten me into fights and shit before, but it's second nature to me. I'm sure if it bothered me alot I could seek help, but it's never been that big of a problem.
I can find people who like me for who I am, an opinionated asshole. And you'd be surprised how many people put up with me (And by that I mean are my friends despite myself).