Portfolio Work

r-jasper

howdy. for my portfolio submission we were asked to draw a picture that responds to a following text.

i chose: "But he wouldn't drive for CosaNostra pizza any other way. You know why? Because there's something about having your life on the line."

please tell me how i can better this. i've left it a bit late 'cause the folio is due on friday. but you comments would be greatly appreciated so that i can learn.



i also had to complete a 12 frame story board. i may upload that later.

Heartlash

I'd actually change the color of the black lines to something that denotes more urgency. As it stands they're kind of just there, and feel like they get in the way. Try thickening them and making them varying degrees of red and orange or something.

Everything else has a pretty funky style that I like, but I want the driver to be more visible and the trees to have as much depth as the car/robot/dragon.

Gumbercules

r-jasper wrote: »

"But he wouldn't drive for CosaNostra pizza any other way. You know why? Because there's something about having your life on the line."

Snow Crash= Gooooooood book.

Mykonos

I have a somewhat irrelivant question, but is the humor supposed to be found in the irony that the pic actually has nothing to due with the sicilian mafia?

galen

Couple things:

1.) I would cut down on the opacity of the windshield a whole lot more. As it is, the guy (who is the main subject of the piece) is barely visible, making the car the next obvious subject.

2.) There's no sense of speed or urgency in here. Looks like a very frustrated man in a parked car being attacked by a giant robot and a dragon. You can't just add a bunch of speedlines to a picture and call it a day.

3.) The reflection of the sign needs to be removed from the car body itself. The way it is now flattens the car out a lot and unless the surface of the car is a perfect mirrored surface (which it isn't) it wouldn't work like that anyway.

There's a lot more wrong with it, but I'll let others field it as I have to get back to work.

BenGPT

I am not a fan of mixing styles. Either pick the smooth blending of the fire and foliage, or the vector-like shading on the dragon and car.

I actually like the art style of the dragon and the robot, even if they're not extremely relevant to the situation. If you've got the time and motivation, Sicilian mafia would fit a little better. Makes more sense.

Ditto on the sense of urgency, black lines, yada yada yada.

r-jasper

Mykonos:
i actually have no idea about where the quote came from. Do you think it matters? i thought they (the uni) would be more interested in original ideas.

galen:
1. thankyou
2.ok. how would i go about achieving that sense of urgency? ...with out using the motion blur :P
3. thanlyou. i'll get rid of that

BenGPT:
i agree what you said about the styles. this is the first time i've tackled something like this, probably not wise ey. so this project was a big learning curve for me. the first things that i coloured where the dragon and car so i just shaded with a style that i was comfortable with. Not knowing how to achieve a shiny metalic look using vector shading so i played around with the brushes until i found the opacity. If i had the time i'd go back and recolour the car and dragon.

fixing...

tmccool

I think the text on the license plate is way too light. I'd adjust the intensity of that because my eye is immediately drawn down there and distracted by it.

Heartlash

I still think those trees need work. They feel very incomplete next to the rest of the image. Also add some clouds to the sky to give the bg a more complete feel.

Mykonos

i actually have no idea about where the quote came from. Do you think it matters? i thought they (the uni) would be more interested in original ideas.

Like I said, it was irrelevant. Being a big-time Tony Soprano fan I saw Cosra Nostra and I quickly imagined seeing a pizza driver speeding away for life from guys trying to whack him, only to see robots and dinosaurs - and I kinda chuckled.

r-jasper

tmccool-
ah! o see what you mean. i'll try fix that. thankyou

Heartlash-
yeah. it was my first time for a lot of things :P

Mykonos-
hahahah ok :P i think i'll redraw it. i can always use it in other folios

r-jasper

story board i did for the folio. had to respond to 'lost bear'
pg1.

pg2.

ManonvonSuperock

i think the robot/ dragon comp itself is inherently broken, and should be redrawn from scratch to correct all of its problems. however, color is more my thing, so i'll start with that:

It is WAY too saturated. the color palette that you have is similar to what one might achieve from a 16-count box of crayola crayons used with as much force as possible.

Why is the organic item (dragon) pretty much cel-shaded, while the metallic one (robot) is smoothly airbrushed? you should keep one coloring method throughout the whole picture, and even if you did vary it up, the robot would be more reflective, and should have harsher variations in tone than the dragon.

The fire highlights on the robot look like orange paint smeared onto him because it is supposed to be a reflection of intense light, and it is darker than the object that is reflecting it.

Why in the hell is the ground black? It shouldn't be, ground isn't pitch black anywhere, especially anywhere that has trees.

Draw your entire composition using the same method. Don't hand draw your subject, inked, and then digitally paint in the trees. you need the picture to work as a whole, and that will definitely keep it from doing so.

There is still no sense of speed. he looks really pissed off, maybe trying to poop, while sitting in a stationary car. A stationary car, at first glance that appears not to have wheels. ( i see them, they shouldn't be so close to the ground color.)

Why did you shade with ink the inside of the dragon's mouth and nowhere else? Once again, treat the image as whole, work on it in the same method everywhere. note: that shading looks good, use it in more places.

Don't type your license plate, draw the digits. it stands out like a sore thumb.

Even when drawing a cartoon car, choose what model and year you are drawing, pull up a picture, or better yet, series of pictures, and draw from that. It's not perfect, by any means, but it still might be helpful to you, this is a drawing that i did that shows a cartoon car that distorts in shape for the feel of each panel, and shows a hand drawn license plate in a hand drawn image.

You need a sense of speed and urgency in your picture, a better camera angle, and better handling of the background could be a good start.

i think the pic is a fun concept, give it some work overs and keep posting here, i would love to see the improvements.

wakkawa

Superock is right. The entire composition is pretty naive. You didn't spend any time trying to think of an interesting idea and how to put it together. Finding ref for the car, trees, lizards, robots, sky and just about everything else will help a great deal.

r-jasper

i admit is spent jack all time thinking of the idea. i was more freaked out of the idea that i wouldn't get it (anything!) done in time for submission.

so, i'll definitely re-draw it.