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Whenever I am speaking from my heart I piss people off.
Rey Del Aguila
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
So I'm 26, single, high school drop out. Got my GED. I went to college for a week but it was sort of like a 12 year old going to college. I knew that I would need a lot more one on one interaction to learn anything any way and on top of that every magazine (Time, Newsweek etc) told me a lot of people make the same with or with out a college degree once you factor in the debt.
But that's not what I want to talk about, this is:
No matter what I say, to whom I say it or what my intentions are I piss people off. I don't even have to talk. The only people who can spend more then 3 seconds around me are people who are VERY secure in who they are and really don't mind when I say "Wow, you really surprised me when you spoke because I just assumed you were some dumb jock" or "I saw your pictures and you looked like a chubby southern girl but in your newer picture I see you lost that weight."
I have like 3 friends, and we don't talk or hang out that much, like normal people.
It's gotten to the point where I don't care anymore except that I feel so physically isolated. Eventually, after months of trying to find some one to accept me for who I am I will just make some fake persona and get a girl friend. This will last 6 to 8 months until they trick me into believing that they love me and no matter what I say they will always believe the best about me. At which point I slowly get more natural which means slowly becoming more pointy in my outward communication.
I actually have reduced a girl to not wanting to get out of bed by mimicking her buck teach when she smiled. Because I thought they were so cute, adorable and good looking. So when she smiles I smiled while pursing my lips around my front teeth. Now she wont get out of bed.
I am tired of people using me to hurt themselves. Is there any way that I can be myself and be loved.
"How do porcupines make love? Answer: Very carefully"
But that's not what I want to talk about, this is:
No matter what I say, to whom I say it or what my intentions are I piss people off. I don't even have to talk. The only people who can spend more then 3 seconds around me are people who are VERY secure in who they are and really don't mind when I say "Wow, you really surprised me when you spoke because I just assumed you were some dumb jock" or "I saw your pictures and you looked like a chubby southern girl but in your newer picture I see you lost that weight."
I have like 3 friends, and we don't talk or hang out that much, like normal people.
It's gotten to the point where I don't care anymore except that I feel so physically isolated. Eventually, after months of trying to find some one to accept me for who I am I will just make some fake persona and get a girl friend. This will last 6 to 8 months until they trick me into believing that they love me and no matter what I say they will always believe the best about me. At which point I slowly get more natural which means slowly becoming more pointy in my outward communication.
I actually have reduced a girl to not wanting to get out of bed by mimicking her buck teach when she smiled. Because I thought they were so cute, adorable and good looking. So when she smiles I smiled while pursing my lips around my front teeth. Now she wont get out of bed.
I am tired of people using me to hurt themselves. Is there any way that I can be myself and be loved.
"How do porcupines make love? Answer: Very carefully"
Because you know who SAID you know what with you know who, let's keep that between me and you.
Rey Del Aguila on
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This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Which made me feel sort of better. I don't bruise, it seems, either emotionally or on my skin. Maybe I just need some one like me.
As for your problem, yeah, maybe you should start hanging around really thick-skinned people, or just learn to run a little internal check before saying or doing anything.
Is your family the same way, or are you kinda the odd one out?
No. That's unusual . And I don't think booze will help...
You can have emotions and not be overly emotional. There's a happy medium in there somewhere, between Data and someone who cries/freaks out/creates drama about every little thing, that you have to find.
Do you really need to be told why this has pissed people off? When I go over to my mum's place and she makes me dinner I say, "Thanks for dinner mum" not, "Thanks for the fucking dinner." Because my mother doesn't like being sworn at, so I don't do it.
Similarly you don't tell someone that you thought they were a dumb jock, you just tell them that they are pretty smart. Or if someone lost weight you don't tell them that they used to be ugly, the probably know this that's why they lost the weight and they probably aren't too proud of that part of their life. You just say wow have you lost weight? You look really good.
Most people think before they speak, this is really all you need to do.
Satans..... hints.....
You should think of rephrasing the things you say. I'm not saying that you should say things you don't mean. Just say them in a way that doesn't invite a punch to the face.
For example, when you thought that girl's smile was really cute and adorable, you could have mentioned that you felt that way. She's not going to know what you're thinking if you go and mimic having buck teeth. She'll have to come to her own conclusions, and if she's already insecure about it, they definitely won't be good.
I know how it feels to be stunningly awkward from time to time. If you keep putting yourself out there, you'll get the hang of it eventually.
Except for the teeth thing...that's just mind-blowing. A feature like that is going to be anyone's hated feature. It doesn't matter if others find it cute or not, the person who actually has buck teeth is almost never going to like them. I wouldn't have got out of bed if I were her, either.
EDIT: I'm late to the party.
Wow, you did it again.
How are they 'amateur'? It's a suggestion that's easy to implement and will work.
You need to think before you speak, it's a simple as that. Don't discount our opinions because they're too easy or uncomplicated, but actually trust that we're trying to help you.
Though this sounds like you have some trust issues you need to work out. The world is not out to get you, contrary to popular belief.
XBL: Torn Hoodie
@hoodiethirteen
Also, this is bullshit. People are not 'using' you. Believe it or not, people don't actually like to get emotionally hurt! What you mean is 'I'm tired of not being accepted by anyone.'
Just remember to think before you speak and remember two things: (1) Am I calling someone names? (2) Am I calling someone incompetent/ugly? If the answer to any or both of these is a yes, shut up and start thinking of something else to say instead.
People are not put on this earth for the sole purpose of loving you. They aren't passive entities who bump in and out of your life - they have feelings, dreams, and desires of their own. They want to be loved, just like you. If they don't believe you love them, they'll probably move on to someone else who does. You have to earn affection, the same as everyone else. Take some responsibility for your own actions. "Being yourself" is not an excuse to "trample the fuck all over other people's feelings". The simple fact of the matter is that "yourself" might be a douche. Think about what you want say or do before you say or do it: "Will this hurt the person that I love?" If the answer is yes, you should probably have a compelling reason for going ahead.
Being a good person is more important than being yourself.
Do you exhibit any of these traits:
- callous unconcern for the feelings of others;
- gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations;
- incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them;
- very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence;
- incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment;
- marked proneness to blame others, or to offer plausible rationalizations, for the behavior that has brought the patient into conflict with society.
if so you may want to look at this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspd